“Where are you heading?” Liz asks me as I’m stuffing my books into my backpack in our common area.

“Just going out to study. Why?”

She squints. “Where are you going to study? Why don’t you just stay here and study with me and the other girls?”

I swallow. I don’t know how to tell her it’s the last night before the sixty days of “training” with Cole will be done. Oh, and the fact that I will have a personal study session with the Professor who is creating the test. I think I’ll have a leg up.

“Just out to study,” I repeat with a shrug.

“Out,” she says, making quotation marks in a mocking way.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

She scoffs. “Oh please. Don’t act all dumb. You’ve been a fucking ghost this summer, Rose. We’ve barely hung out. And every night it’s a different excuse. ‘Oh I’m hanging out with my Grandparents.’ ‘My Dad is back in town.’ ‘I need to go meditate in a very special spot.’”

I scrunch up my face. “Really? I don’t remember saying the meditation thing.”

“Well you did!” she bites back, putting her hands on her hips. “And I don’t really know what to do about it. Are you going to the meth houses on the outskirts of town?”

“No, of course not.”

Liz stands strategically in between me and the door way. Sure, I can get past her, but she’s not going to make it easy for me.

I sling my backpack over my shoulder.

“Alright, well, good talk. I’m going to head out now,” I say.

“No.” She folds her arms.

“What do you mean, no?”

“I mean, I’m not letting you go until you tell me exactly where you’re going. It’s for your own good, Rose. For safety purposes.”

I roll my eyes. I want to tell her that for all the crazy sex I’ve been having with Cole, I never feel safer than when I’m in his presence.

“Look, it’s none of your business, okay? Just let me through.”

Liz doesn’t budge, and gives me a hard look.

Right in the middle of our standoff, Maddy comes into the common area, sweating with her workout gear on. She pulls an earbud out of one ear.

“Oh hey guys. What’s up?” she says, not in tune with the tension currently brewing in the room between Liz and I.

“Nothing,” I shrug. “Just heading out.”

“Oh, okay,” Maddy says, taking her pony tail down from her run.

“Rose is hanging out with a guy tonight,” Liz says, her expression sarcastic.

“Oh,” Maddy responds. “Is it that same hot older guy who was here a little while ago?”

My heart literally drops from my lungs down to my stomach cavity. “What older guy?” I croak, playing dumb.

“Oh, the one I saw came into the shower a while back. I didn’t want to say anything, because you two were canoodling. I didn’t want to interrupt you two in the shower.”

Liz’s jaw drops, and my own eyes about bulge out of my head. I’m going to kill Cole when I see him.

He said no one saw him on the way in.

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” I breathe.

“Aha!” Liz barks. “An older man?! Who is he?”

“I didn’t recognize him,” Maddy says. “Hottie though. I really only got a glimpse from behind as he headed into the shower. I meant to ask you about it awhile ago, it just slipped my mind.”

“Slipped your mind?!” Liz yells. “How could a guy...in the shower...with our virgin roommate slip your mind?”

“See!” I yell. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you! It’s not a big deal. Blackwell is so damn gossipy. I knew once you found out, you’d be blabbing about it all over!”

“I’m not blabbing about it!” she argues. “I’m just hurt you didn’t trust me enough to tell me. I thought we told each other everything! And you won’t even tell me who this guy is.”

I swallow, and turn my gaze.

“Wow, I didn’t mean to gossip, sorry Rose! I assumed everyone knew.”

“It’s okay,” I mutter.

“Just tell me who it is, and we won’t tell anyone,” Liz arches an eyebrow my way.

“I wish I could tell you, but I really can’t.”

“Fine,” she retorts, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “Now if it’s alright, I’m going out.” I push past her and put my hand on the doorknob.

“No, I’m sorry,” she says as I have my back to her. “I’m sorry I thought we were friends, Rose.”

I turn my head over my shoulder to her. “I wish I could tell you, I really do.”

“I just hope you know what you’re doing,” she shakes her head. “Are you even going to your Grandparents’ Fiftieth wedding anniversary party tomorrow night? The one your mom is having.”

“Oh shoot, that is tomorrow,” I mutter.

Liz shakes her head. “See, you’re lucky you’ve got me as a friend. Like all of Blackwell is going to be there, I’m pretty sure.”

I sigh. “I just really have to go. I’ll see you at the party tomorrow.” Right after I pick up a gift for my Grandparents.

Maddy stands there watching the two of us, her eyes wide. “Have a good night Rose!” she says as I walk aggressively out the door.

I sigh. I wish I could be as much of a carefree spirit as her. It doesn’t seem like it’s part of my constitution though.

I bike to Cole’s place tonight, through the streets of Blackwell, over the bumpy brick, and onto the main street--State Street.

It hurts me that Liz won’t trust me, but on the other hand I can see where she is coming from. I’ve become so secretive this summer, unlike I’ve ever been. I ask myself if I’m any closer to the original goal I declared when I started this whole crazy adventure. Do I feel confident now I can sometime be a good sex therapist?

The warm summer wind blows on my face as I consider it. How would I even be a sex therapist in this town, anyway? People wouldn’t be honest with me about their sex lives. It’s such a small town, they would be scared I’d spread their private information around. The fact is, people are into some interesting sexual stuff these days. Maybe my generation’s easy access to high speed porn has awakened it. Maybe it is because of the book that shall not be named.

Everyone is so secretive, and so kinky. And there is a lot of shame at the heart all those desires.

I even feel like that myself. Last week, when Cole took me on the couch, I’d never been so turned on in my life. I was so wet before he even entered me. He made me feel things I didn’t even think were possible.

What’s more, when he struck my ass with his belt, I liked it. A lot.

I wanted him to do more to me. I loved how he took me raw, ravaged me.

Most important, I loved the fact that it was Cole taking me like that. I can’t see myself trusting someone else--and being attracted enough--to do that with anyone else.

As I get closer to Cole’s place, I look around to see if anyone is following me. He lives on the outskirts of town, which is nice. There are some headlights a few hundred feet behind me, so I think I’m good. I pull up to Cole’s place, hit the key to the garage door, and stash my bike inside.

I head inside through the door, and Cole’s waiting for me. His place smells of fresh cooking. He’s got the music cranking throughout the house, playing a James Taylor song I recognize. I put my backpack down and walk into the kitchen.

Cole’s back is to me as he works with a spatula wearing only basketball shorts and an apron. He doesn’t notice me as he cooks salmon on the pan and sings JT:

Ooh, baby, I needed the shelter of someone's arms

And there you were

I needed someone to understand my ups and downs

And there you were

With sweet love and devotion

Deeply touching my emotion

I want to stop (stop) and thank you, baby

I just want to stop and thank you, baby, hey now

How sweet it is to be loved by you, by you

He’s fully in it. I just stop and admire the man. He’s a twenty-eight year old professor, but I’ll be damned if he isn’t young as hell at heart.

Then something else hits me.

He’s singing about me.

“Cole,” I say, having to raise my voice above the music. “Hi.”

He turns around, and he’s got a shit eating grin on his face like he’s a kid in a candy store.

“Oh hey Baby. I didn’t see you there.”

He closes the space between us, and for some reason my heart beats like it’s the first time, and I’m back in his office again, making my crazy proposal. He wraps his hand around my neck and the back of my head and passionately kisses me.

“Hey,” I say when he pulls his lips off me and allows me to breathe. “Doing a little kitchen singing?”

“Always,” he smiles, turning down the music from his phone so it’s easier for us to hear each other. “You can’t have a bad night listening to James Taylor. My Dad always used to listen to it before he passed. Some of my only memories are of him playing a little JT on the guitar.”

“The original JT,” I say. “Before Justin Timberlake came along. You know, for my generation.”

He smiles. “Yeah, right. I mean seeing as how I’m pretty much your Grandpa.”

“Stop,” I roll my eyes and push him away.

He rolls with it and goes back to finishing the food.

“I made Salmon tonight,” he says.

“Just like the first weekend we ate together,” I beam.

“I thought it would be appropriate since tomorrow is day sixty.”

The way he says it, I can’t tell if he’s broken up about the sixty days being up, or if he’s just stating a fact. As well as I’ve come to know the man, I kind of get the feeling that there’s still something he’s not telling me.

We eat inside in the A/C tonight, on his couch, in front of the TV. We don’t even think about turning it on. We laugh and joke about people in class and how ridiculous the whole thing has been between us.

He wraps his arm around me and I lean my body into him.

“Liz knows I’m dating an older man,” I say, during a pause.

“Liz? Ohh. Your roommate?” he raises an eyebrow.

“That’s the one. I didn’t tell her who. She’s getting all suspicious though. She just found out tonight. Somebody saw you when you were coming into my dorm shower that day. They didn’t ID you though. Just said you were a ‘hot older guy.’” I snicker a little.

“Damn,” he says, and sighs. “It’s all such bullshit, you know?”

“What’s such bullshit?” I ask, sitting up.

“I just think back to the old days. Like your Grandparents. If you liked someone, you didn’t have to hide it.”

“Yeah,” I nod. “I mean you’re six years older than me. It’s not like you’re some creep.”

“I know,” he says, stroking my hair. “I wish I wasn’t your Professor, though. Then we could just fucking date. Like normal human beings. And not run around like this behind all of Blackwell’s back.”

My heart glows. “You mean, you want to date me for real? You aren’t just sleeping with me to help me out?”

He bunches up his face in confusion. “Rose, are you fucking serious right now?”

“Quite serious.”

“Alright. Maybe I haven’t emphasized this as much as I need to you. You are incredibly sexy. You’re gorgeous. You’re smart. You’re way more mature than you let on.”

“I am?”

“Yeah. We do all this Dom and sub stuff in the bedroom, but out of it, we just chill. It feels so natural. It’s weird. Usually with my subs...fuck. Nevermind,” he trails off.

I spin my body around and straddle him. “Tell me.” I demand, looking him in the eye.

“You probably don’t like hearing about this. I don’t want to talk about my past.”

“Please just let me in,” I say.

“I’ve had subs before. But not like you.”

“I’m a ‘sub’?” I say, making quotation marks in with my hands. “Like officially? What does that even mean, exactly?”

“Here's, the thing, Rose. I don’t fucking know. The truth is, I spent a lot of time in the lifestyle, and still, no one knows what makes a true connection outside the bedroom. You can have explosive sexual chemistry with someone, but that doesn’t mean you should have a relationship with that person.”

“Hmm,” I say. “I’d agree with that. Regardless of what you and me are--what this is--we have really hot sex. And I love it when you dominate me. If we throw in a yield and a safe word...that’s fine too. I think we’ve built our own little reality that transcends any definition. Don’t you think?”

He smirks, blinks, and shakes his head a little.

“What?” I ask, curious what thoughts are going on behind those long eyelashes of his.

“I fucking…” he trails off, and his expression grows serious.

“What?” I demand.

“Nothing,” he snaps.

“Please, Cole. Just tell me.” My voice isn’t pleading or desperate, but it’s certainly a step above curious.

He pauses for a long time, looking into my eyes from inches away. My arms are draped around his shoulders, and he hands grip my sides as I continue straddling him.

Finally, he speaks. “Rose...I’m in love with you.” He looks me dead in the eye.

A wave of nervous adrenaline washes over me. “Y-You are?”

I’m as dumbfounded as I am turned on.

“I am. And I don’t know what to fucking do about it. You say I’m a secret to your friends? Well shit. I haven’t even told my best friends back in Boston about you.”

“Shit, Cole. I…”

“Don’t say anything right now,” he growls.

My heart starts to beat a little harder. He pulls my hair back behind my ear.

“I want to fuck you somewhere we haven’t in a little while,” he whispers.

“Where’s that?”

“The bed,” he smirks.

“Oh. Yeah. I guess that’s been underutilized lately.”

He stands up and holds his hand out. When I give him mine he pulls hard, making me stand up. He grabs my legs and body, lifts me up, and fireman carries me to the bed.

“Oh God,” I mock. “What are you going to do with me, Professor?”

“It’s time for your final exam, baby. I hope you’ve been studying hard.”

“I think I know my way around your cock pretty well by now,” I retort.

In his room, he throws me down his bed, on top of the covers. I help him get my jeans off. He dives between my legs, plunging his golden tongue inside me and doing magical things to me.

I think about the significance of what Cole just admitted to me, and it turns me on even more. I feel two fingers work their way inside me.

I cry out as I come all over his face.

“Holy shit,” he says as he stands up and wipes his face with his forearm. “What the fuck happened there? I didn’t know you were a squirter.”

I can feel my cheeks heating up with some embarrassment.

“I didn’t either,” I manage to say as I lie writhing in pleasure on the bed.

“Rose, how dare you be embarrassed of coming extra hard for me,” Cole says as he takes off his shorts and his erection pops out. He’s freeballing as always. I take off my shirt, and Cole lies down next to me in the bed and helps me snap off my bra.

We lie in bed on our sides, inches from each other, not touching, but close enough to feel the heat of each other’s bodies.

“I’ll try not to be embarrassed,” I breathe, my voice throaty.

“God damn you sound sexy,” he quips back, and any anxiety I had about the act melts away.

I feel a tiny tinge of stress pop up in my throat about the thought forming in my mind, but I’ve got to say it. I can’t hold back any longer.

“Cole,” I breathe. “I think I love you too.”

He smirks, and spreads my legs open. I moan softly as he pushes his throbbing cock inside me.

He begins with slow strokes, feeling glorious inside me.

I close my eyes and let my senses other than sight take over, like they did during our first weekend retreat.

We find our rhythm together, and I rock my hips just slightly so that Cole and I collide for maximum pleasure.

With every stroke, my world falls apart and gets put back together when he thrusts back into me.

Cole isn’t rough at first. He’s more tender than I’ve ever felt him, kissing my neck and cheeks as he fucks me. I like it like this.

I also loved it when he spanked me hard.

As we approach orgasm, though, he fucks like a wild man and I buck like I’m that naughty little girl who first approached him to lose my virginity. I scream as I come, and he follows soon after. I wrap my legs around his waist as he buries his seed deep inside me.

I never want to give this man up.

“Cole,” I whisper as I lay across his chest afterward, our bodies coated in sweat. “I thought this was only going to be temporary. But I don’t want to move on. I want to keep learning more every day from you.”

“Me too,” he says, running his hand from my naked side, down my ass, and down to my thigh.

“We need to figure out what to do,” I whisper.

“I know exactly what.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. You. Again.”

His finger finds my clit, and I’m too weak to debate the fact that he didn’t exactly answer my question.