Tears of utter disbelief stream down my face as I process what just happened.

The entire crowd is silent, stunned.

I just saw my own father dive over the ledge, followed by my boyfriend.

Well, ex-boyfriend turned asshole.

This is not real life.

I’m in shock as I climb the stairs, screaming and rushing up them to meet my mom, who is already at the very top of the balcony.

“M-Mom, why did Dad just do that?”

She’s crying too. “It’s a long story, honey,” she cries and hugs me.

I separate from her and run to the very edge. I hesitate before looking down, expecting to see a gruesome scene on the hard concrete below.

I peek over and see nothing.

“Little Rose,” comes Cole’s scratchy voice, and it sends a multitude of butterflies through my body.

I lean a little farther over, and I can see Cole gripping the metal pole of a rafter with one arm, and holding my dad with the other.

“Dad! Cole! You’re alive!”

“Goddamn right I am,” Cole grunts as he pulls my dad up.

“Excuse me Miss,” a man in his thirties says as he waves me out of the way. I turn, and see that a line of twenty men have interlocked their arms, anchoring themselves. The man breezes past me, and lowers a rope down to Cole.

“Where did you get a rope?” I breathe.

The guy looks at me like I just asked him why the sky is blue.

“I’m Mitch fucking Connelly, darling. I always have a rope,” he drawls like I should know why, and drops the thing down to Cole.

I’m guessing Mitch is just one kinky middle aged guy? I’ve got no time for questions though, so I shrug and watch as my Dad hangs onto Cole’s body for dear life. Cole gets hoisted up by the chain of men anchoring him to the stairs.

“Dad!” I say, once he’s on solid ground, and hug him so hard I think I might break him.

Cole comes second over the side of the balcony. His arms are marked red where my Dad was gripping him. Both of their bodies are scratched up.

My mom hugs my dad, too. I hug Cole equally hard if not tighter. “I thought I lost you for a second there,” I whisper. He says nothing, but his eyes sear into me so hard I think he might bore a hole through me.

I step back and look at the two men.

“What the hell just happened?” I demand, a hand on my hip as I grip my dad’s hand tightly. I look at Cole for an answer, but he tips his head toward my dad.

My dad swallows. His body is shaking, my mom next to him comforting him.

The entire crowd is completely silent. The football game has totally stopped. The players stand on the sidelines watching us. Everyone has their phones out, recording the biggest drama Blackwell has seen since ‘94 when the Maytag plant voted to move to Mexico.

“Jerry. I think it’s best you tell them.” Cole stands behind him and grips his shoulders. “It’s okay. Your daughter loves you. We all love you. Just tell the fucking people, man.”

“What?” I say, tensing up. My palms sweat. A knot the size of a basketball forms in my stomach. “Tell us what?”

“Rose, this is hardest to tell you,” he says, looking at me. He takes a deep breath, then raises his voice so that the entire crowd listens to him. “People of Blackwell. You’re probably wondering what just happened there. You wonder why I just tried to jump off this stadium balcony. Probably.”

“Fuck yeah, we are wondering!” a guy yells from the crowd. I recognize him as the stoner from Cole’s class. He is quickly shushed.

“Well. I guess there’s not going to be a better time than this. Everyone, for the past four years, I’ve lived with a secret. It’s been a secret my whole life, it was just something I didn’t even realize for myself. Yes, I’ve been married for twenty years. Yes, I have a beautiful daughter. And yes, I’m gay.”

I clutch my heart. My balance wavers. Cole grabs hold of my arm and steadies me.

“Fuck yeah!” the stoner yells.

“Shut the fuck up dude! He’s having a moment!” someone else yells.

“Most of you probably don’t know what it’s like to hold onto a secret for so long. I’m ashamed. So ashamed of what people might think that I chose to dive off this balcony. When my life was hanging in the balance--literally--I heard my daughter’s voice. And I decided suicide was a coward’s way out, and I thanked God this man here was nuts enough to jump after me and save my life.” My dad nods toward Cole.

My eyes well up and I start to full out cry. I feel dizzy, lighthearted, and crushed as I process this.

“My best friend and wonderful wife, Meryl, decided that it was for the best if we just kept this a secret. But that’s just not possible. So, I know some you will probably hate me forever, but I can’t go on like this. Living a lie. So there. That’s out in the open. I like men. There it is.”

I see the shaggy haired stoner who had been interrupting us from the crowd. He’s even got a tear rolling down his face. He starts the slow clap.

“Fuck yeah!” he yells. “Fuck yeah Mr. Allison!”

The rest of the crowd joins in. I embrace my dad tighter than I ever have as the tears stream down my face.

“I still love you,” I whisper. “I’ll love you no matter what.”

“Thanks honey,” he says as we release each other.

The clapping dies down.

“But Dad?” I counter. “What the hell happened the other day in your office then?!”

The people are still tuned in to what we are saying.

Cole cuts in. “Rose. We don’t have to talk about this here. But let’s just say I was one hundred percent not hooking up with your mother.” He puts his arm around me and pulls my body into his. A rush of butterflies flutter inside me. “I want fucking you, Little Rose. I don’t want anyone else.”

Mom and Dad grip each other close, staring at me while waiting for my response. I don’t know what happened in that room last weekend, but maybe in front of the whole town isn’t the best place to have them explain it.

I take a deep breath and feel my knees start to waver. Cole holds me steady.

The game hasn’t started back up yet. The crowd, players, and referees are still too stunned, staring at us like drivers gaping at an accident on the highway as they drive by.

“Hey, aren’t you hooking up with that professor?” the stoner yells, cupping his hands so everyone can hear.

The guy in the Public Announcement booth walks toward us, wireless mic in hand. He’s about to say something when I step up to him and grab the mic, catching him off guard. “Thanks for that. This thing on?” I tap it, then flick the switch on the side.

“Good Evening.” I say, and jump a little when I hear my voice echo out through the entire stadium.

“Good Evening!” the crowd says back to me, the vibrations of their voices rock through me.

“I’m Rose Allison for those of you who don’t know me. Although, judging by how fast gossip gets around this town, you all have heard of me. I’m the twenty-two year old senior in college who slept with her summer school Psychology Professor.”

A collective gasp is heard from the crowd.

“Yes, that’s right,” I continue. My mom’s eyes nearly bulge out of her head as she realizes what I am doing. “See, I had a meeting with the therapist this week where she was asking about how Cole ‘took advantage of me.’ The thing is, I actually took advantage of him. The whole affair was my idea. So, I guess Cole Hanks is going to get fired or whatever now. And it’s all my fault. I just wanted to say sorry about that, Cole.”

The announcer cuts in, trying to grab the microphone from me. “Hey, uh, gentlemen. Ladies. This is very touching and all, but can we play some football?” he drawls.

Cole whispers in my ear. “Baby, let them play. I’ll explain everything if you’ll trust me.”

I nod and hand the announcer the microphone.

The crowd cheers and and the football teams go back to the competition like a man didn’t just try to commit suicide at the start of the third quarter.

“Is it just me, or is this town totally nuts?” I whisper to Cole as he takes my hand.

“This town is fucking nuts,” Cole affirms. “But you are, too. Shit, I’m a little loco in the head too.”

I start to walk down the stairs, following my parents, but Cole grabs me, presses me up against the railing, and kisses me before I can protest.

“Fuck yeah! Professor Hanks! Get it!” the stoner yells from behind us.

Cole lets go of my lips and chuckles. “If it’s any consolation, he didn’t pass my class,” Cole says, still trapping me against the railing.

“What about me?” I ask. “Did I pass?”

“We’ll see about that tonight,” he nuzzles into my neck.

“Hey,” I protest, putting a hand on his chest. “Are you going to explain to me what happened in my dad’s office last week or what?”

Cole takes a long, deep breath. “That is something best explained over a good old fashioned Blackwell blackout.”

* * *

My jaw is on the ground as Cole finishes his explanation of how he ended up in the room with both of my parents.

“I know. It’s a lot to handle. Here, have another,” Cole says, passing me a dark and stormy. Or as it’s known at The Watering Hole: The Blackwell blackout.

I’ve never been one to turn to booze for stress, but tonight my head feels like it’s spinning on a top. After witnessing my dad attempt suicide and come out of the closet, I’ve never felt this stressed. But I’m also something else: grateful.

In the stands after Dad shared his struggle, I ironically noticed that my mom was suddenly more comforting of him than I’d seen her throughout all my teenage years.

I tell Cole about my meeting with the therapist earlier this week, and his eyes bulge.

“Yeah, and then I told her how much dirtier I am than you, and how you fuck me way too gently.”

“Yeah,” he nods. “I have been taking it easy on you so far.”

I cough a little, choking up my drink. “Are you serious?”

“Nah,” he smirks. “But I am pretty fucking happy to have this shit out in the open.”

“Why?” I squint. “Are we going to hook up differently? I thought you taught me everything you know?”

“Oh we’re still going to hook up like we have been. But now I can do this.”

He leans across my barstool and kisses--no, more like attacks--my mouth. I wrap my legs around him. He stands up and full on starts groping and making out with me in the bar.

“Gross,” a female voice says from behind us. “Don’t you have like, a house?”

Cole lets go of my mouth, sets me down, and rolls his eyes. “Rose, I guess you should meet my sister, Clarissa.”

“Great to meet you,” she says. “I heard about your speech at the game. I appreciate you looking out for my brother like that.”

“You saw that already?!” I snap.

She shrugs. “It’s already got like four hundred thousand views on YouTube. Some stoner took a video from his phone. See?”

Clarissa shows us the video. It starts with my dad coming out, followed by my rant on the microphone. All tied together with stoner’s hilarious narration.

“Hey, Clare Bear,” the bartender says over our shoulders. “You need another drink, or are you good?”

Cole shoots his sister and the bartender dirty looks. “If I didn’t know any better, I might guess you two have a thing.”

Mason and Clarissa laugh in tandem. “Ha. Us? Fuck no,” Mason says. “You know your mom hates me. Shit, she’d kill me if we were dating.”

“She wouldn’t have to,” Cole says, suddenly serious. “Because I’d kill you first.” He winks.

I notice an awkward exchange between the three of them, and wonder if something might be going on between them.

“Shots,” Mason says, breaking the tension. “Celebrating the Blackwell U victory tonight.”

That round of shots leads to another, and before you know, it, we are drunk and singing old Journey songs. I’m out on the improvised dance floor with Cole and we are grinding like we’re in high school.

Yes, one of those nights.

We make out on the dance floor, Cole’s hands exploring me as much as physically possible while we’re in public.

“You’re fucking mine, Little Rose,” he roars into my ear as I mould myself into his hot, sweaty body. “And I want the world to know. I fucking love you.”

“So you have to admit I was right,” I groan, nibbling on his ear. Lost between dozens of bodies on the dance floor, we’re as anonymous as we’ll ever be in Blackwell.

“Right about what?” he whispers back.

“Fucking a student. It was a good idea after all, wasn’t it?” I moan back into his ear, and I feel his length hardening against me.

“Best rule I never listened to. Fuck the rules anyway, Rose. They weren’t made for people like you and me.”

We grind and make out into the early morning hours, and I can’t wait to get back to Cole’s so he can give me the after hours exam.