Evangeline

 

I really wished Sebastian was staying with me tonight instead of Cole.

I didn’t feel safer with him—nothing felt as safe to me as Cole’s rough, hard presence—but things were easier with Sebastian.

He felt familiar and calm. He didn’t stir up all these feelings and emotions like Cole did.

Right now anger was the primary emotion I was feeling.

He’d always been unpredictable, swinging from cold rudeness to hot tenderness with the turn of a moment. But he seemed to have suddenly jumped back in time to the beginning of our relationship when he didn’t know or like me at all.

He did know me. He did like me. I was absolutely sure of it. Which made his behavior this afternoon all the more maddening.

I was scared enough after seeing those photos. I didn’t need to deal with this too.

Thick-skulled, insensitive ass.

I’d been soaking in a bubble bath for twenty minutes, sipping a glass of red wine and thinking angsty thoughts. About the stalker, who seemed to be getting closer to me by the day.

And about Cole.

Finally, when my attempt to relax and clear my head was obviously a failed effort, I stepped out of the tub, drained the water, and toweled off.

If Cole hadn’t crawled out of his hole when I came out of my bedroom, I was going to call up Sebastian and demand I get a bodyguard who was willing to do his job.

I could be getting killed in here, for all Cole knew or cared.

Simmering with righteous resentment, I threw on a little satin robe and walked out of my bedroom to the sitting room outside my door where Cole was normally stationed.

He was there. Staring out the window into the night. Brooding.

“If I’d known I was getting Heathcliff as a bodyguard,” I snapped, “I would have reconsidered.”

He turned slowly, unsurprised. He’d obviously known I was standing behind him. It was really hard to catch a man like Cole unaware. “And I guess you think I don’t even know who Heathcliff is.”

He sounded so bitter it stung, and I took a step backward. “I don’t care if you know who Heathcliff is. I’m saying you’re acting like him—that kind of selfish, vindictive, irrational brooding that accomplishes nothing. So tell me what the hell is wrong with you! What happened today?”

“Nothing happened.”

I was so angry now at his obstinacy that I stepped forward until I was right in front of him, close enough to touch. But I didn’t. “Don’t lie to me. We made love a few days ago, and now you’re acting like we’re strangers.”

As soon as I’d said the words, I wished I could pull them back. I couldn’t believe I’d said “made love” like that. It sounded silly, sentimental, melodramatic—when nothing about a serious relationship had ever been spoken between us.

I knew he’d take the words wrong, and he did. His head snapped up with a cold glare. “We fucked a couple of times. That doesn’t mean we’re anything but strangers.”

And that was painful too. Very painful. Because I knew we weren’t strangers. I knew the times we’d spent together meant more than just empty sex. “You don’t mean that,” I said, the words strangling a little in my throat. “You’re angry for some reason and trying to push me away, but you don’t mean that.”

He gave his head a little shake. “I’m sorry if you thought there was more, but all we had going for us was sex. And now we don’t even have that.”

The words were like blows, and I turned away from him in the brunt of them. I started to leave so he wouldn’t see me cry, but then I thought about how he’d looked at me when we’d been having sex the other night.

He was lying to me now. Lying right to my face.

I sucked in a breath and whirled around. “You can say that as much as you want, but I don’t believe you. I don’t know what happened or why you think we can’t be together, but I’m not prepared to accept that. We have something good. Something better than I’ve had in…” The words trailed off as I was hit with a revelation that left me breathless. “Ever.”

That got a reaction from him. He sucked in a sharp, audible breath, and he glanced away. His big body was tense with some sort of coiled energy.

I reached out—unable to resist—and put a hand on his chest.

He took a quick step back, his face growing cold again. “You got it all wrong,” he gritted out. “But the sex was good. Thanks for that.”

It felt like he slapped me. “Damn it, Cole, why are you—”

“Enough!” His rough tone immediately silenced me. “I’m here to do my job, and that’s all. I’d suggest you go back to your room, unless you came out here wearing practically nothing hoping to get laid. I’m happy to oblige. It’s as good a way as any to pass the time.”

The words were cold, heartless, and the worst thing was I knew they weren’t sincere.

I wasn’t convinced by this cold, cruel person he was trying to be.

But I knew enough to know he wasn’t going to budge on this. Not now anyway.

Maybe never.

I might have to resign myself to never getting what I wanted from him.

To never getting him.

It was a brutal thought, and I was fighting tears as I returned to my bedroom without another word.

I made sure not to let him see though.

A girl’s got to have her pride, even when her heart’s been broken.

***

I didn’t get much sleep that night, but it was more from stewing about Cole than from worries about the stalker.

While I was in the Maxwell house with all its security and with Cole right outside my door, I felt safe.

As soon as I left the house the next morning, though, my fear kicked up into overdrive.

I was chilled with anxiety as the driver took us to the studio. It felt like there was a threat around every corner, lurking at every stoplight.

Cole was tense and silent, but I was too distracted to really focus on him.

I was used to being in the public eye. I’d lived that way most of my life. But being hunted like this was different. I felt exposed in a way I never had before.

I hated the feeling. Hated it. Desperately wanted it to end.

I made a mess of my morning scenes at the park. I performed the lines and stood in the right places and did all the correct actions, but even I could tell there was no heart to my acting. I was as wooden as I’d ever been.

I was a professional. I’d done my job when I was going through breakups, when a friend died, when I was dealing with a flurry of negative publicity. I’d always been able to put it aside and focus on the scene at hand though.

Not today.

I was mortified and upset when the director finally called a break, saying we’d try again in an hour.

I knew Cole had been watching the whole time, and I didn’t want to know what he’d been thinking about me.

He walked me back to my trailer, making me wait outside while he carefully searched the interior—even though a big, rough-looking guy had been standing guard at the door the whole time.

When he’d determined it was clear, he waved me in.

I sat down on the couch and hugged myself, telling myself to get it together.

So someone was stalking me. So Cole didn’t want me.

It didn’t mean my life was over.

“I’m going to catch him,” Cole murmured after a minute.

He’d been watching me. Probably felt sorry for me. Evidently, my pitifulness had broken through even his thick, stubborn exterior.

“I know.”

“We’ve made progress. We’re closing in. I know it doesn’t seem like we’re getting anywhere, but we are.”

I wasn’t looking at him. “I know.”

I was shaking now and trying to hold the trembling back by tightening my arms around my middle.

I hated being like this. I wished the past month could just start over.

Cole made a rough sound in his throat and sat down beside me, pulling me into the protection of his arms.

I broke down a little, shaking against him, taking comfort in who he was—even though he was part of the reason I was such a mess.

I could feel emotion in his embrace. I could sense real, deep feeling. He was holding me like I was precious, like he needed me, like he wanted nothing more in the world.

And suddenly I knew it was true.

I pulled back just enough to look up in his face. “Cole, I need you,” I admitted.

His face twisted briefly. “I know. I’m going to keep you safe. I promise.”

Shaking my head, I said, “I mean more than that. I need all of you. Even after the stalker is caught.”

He jerked his face to the side. “Evangeline, I can’t—”

“Yes, you can. I don’t know why you’ve gotten it into your head that we can’t be together. I don’t know why you’re so convinced that you’re somehow not good enough for me. But it’s nonsense. It’s lies that you’re telling yourself. I really think we belong together.”

The words came spilling out, the deepest expression of my heart, but I didn’t regret them. I knew they were true. I knew they were right.

But Cole released me and stood up, slightly awkwardly. He wasn’t looking me in the eyes. “I don’t think so. It’s a different man you want, a different man you need.”

And those words were final. I knew it. And the hope I’d been holding on to died a sudden death.

I was numb with it. Had no idea what to say, what to do. I stared up at him blankly and hoped the world would turn enough to make sense again, not hurt this way.

He stared back at me for a long, thick moment and then turned his back to me with a guttural sound.

He was reaching for the door when there was a tap on it.

Matt was standing outside the door, a sheaf of papers in his hand. “I have some notes on the scene from the director.”

“I’ll take them.” Cole blocked the entrance and grabbed the papers from the younger man.

“But…,” Matt began.

Cole handed me the papers and then stepped outside, keeping Matt from coming in.

I wondered again if Matt was the stalker. He was kind of strange and quiet. He seemed to have a weird crush on me.

It was possible. It would make sense.

I just wished Cole would get proof so this whole thing could be over.

There was another tap on the door before I could start to read the notes. Cole stuck his head in. “Janelle is coming in here with a message from Pete. I’m not letting Matt in.”

“Okay.”

I could well imagine what the director wanted to tell me. Get it together, or he’d have to find another star for his film.

Janelle came in with a friendly smile. “Sorry to bother you.”

“It’s fine.” I smiled back at her politely and relaxed against the back of the couch.

“Everyone is all suspicious of Matt all of a sudden, but I think he seems pretty harmless. He just has the hots for you, is all.”

“Sometimes people seem harmless when they aren’t.”

“I guess so. Anyway, the director was kind of concerned this morning, but I told him you were dealing with a lot, so he should give you a little time.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I’m sure I can get it together soon.” It was nice that Janelle was being sympathetic, but I really wanted to get the message and then be alone for a little while so I could have a good cry.

“I think you’ve been great.” She had the same gushing admiration she always did, but I really wasn’t up to it this morning. “All that stuff you’re dealing with, and you haven’t broken down.”

I had kind of broken down, but she wouldn’t know that.

I cleared my throat, suddenly unable to deal with this girl in my trailer. “Anyway, did he have anything else to say?”

Something almost palpable cracked on her face, her smile. “What?”

“The director? You said there was a message?”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” There was a new note in her voice now. Shrill. A little too much to be a reasonable response to what I’d just said.

Shit. I’d offended her somehow, even though I was doing my best to be polite. “I’m sorry. I’m just really tired and need a little downtime on my own.”

“Of course you do.”

I opened my eyes at her brittle tone. “What?”

“Of course you need some downtime. Of course you need to be alone even if it means slamming the door in the face of other people.” Janelle sounded bitter and ice cold, and it was so shocking I felt a shudder of cold anxiety run through me.

The transformation was so surprising I couldn’t process it immediately. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you. Always the center of attention. Everyone catering to your every whim. Treating you like you’re something special. All the way back to when you were twelve.”

“When I was twelve?”

“I bet you don’t even know. Don’t even remember, do you?” Something new was growing on Janelle’s face, a kind of wildness, an irrationality that was utterly frightening. “I bet you don’t even remember me. I auditioned for the role of Emma too.”

Emma was the first role I played on the cable show. It had made my name, and I’d been fighting the stereotype for my entire career.

“You did?” I breathed, trying to catch up, even as my heart was pounding with growing fear in my chest, my throat, my hands.

“Yes, I did. But of course you got it instead of me. I was just as good as you. I could sing. I could dance. But it didn’t matter. You always get what you want, don’t you? Everyone always bows and flatters and gives you whatever you want. When it should have been me!”

My brain finally started to work, even through the chaos of shock and fear I was experiencing. Janelle was the stalker. Not Matt. Not some crazed boy with a crush.

And I was alone in my trailer with her.

Cole had let her in, thinking it was a safety precaution.

I started very slowly to stand up.

“Don’t you dare move,” she hissed, pulling something out of her pocket.

It was a flat black object about the size of a credit card, but she unfolded it to reveal a scary-looking knife.

I froze, on my feet but not quite straightened up.

“It’s time someone gave you what you really deserve.” Her voice was cold, her eyes a little crazed. “You take and you take and you take! And everyone is too stupid to realize that you’re nothing special.”

My hands were shaking helplessly, and my legs felt ice cold. It was surreal, so bizarre. The world didn’t work this way. Perfectly nice girls didn’t turn into unhinged stalkers this way in the matter of two minutes.

“I’m sorry,” I managed to say, vaguely hoping I could calm her down until Cole came in.

Surely he’d come in here soon. He’d notice that Janelle wasn’t leaving.

“I’m sorry if I ever did anything to hurt you.”

“You did, but you’re not sorry. You never even knew I existed. When you stole my role, my career. My life! That role meant everything to me! It was my chance to finally be somebody! It was finally going to be my time to show my parents that I wasn’t useless. I was going to prove to everyone that I was special! I should be you!” She took a few steps closer to me, brandishing the knife.

She was going to kill me. Right here in the trailer, with Cole right outside standing guard.

I could see it in her eyes. I knew it was true.

If I didn’t do something right now, she would do it.

I opened my mouth, but the knife was suddenly at my throat. “Here’s a little direction for you, Emma. If you make a sound, I’ll kill you.”

She was going to do it anyway. She’d lost whatever touch with reality she’d ever had. She would kill me if I screamed, and she would kill me if I didn’t scream.

Cole wouldn’t get in here quick enough either way.

I took a step backward and felt a vase of flowers behind my hand—Jimmy had sent them to me a couple of days ago.

With a flick of my hand, I knocked them over, hoping for a crash that would alert Cole and distract Janelle.

The knife was too close to my throat now to try to fight her off. I’d never get an arm or leg up in time.

The vase toppled slowly and then turned over on its side. It made a noise but not a very loud one.

The flowers kept the vase from rolling off to the floor, where it would have made a much louder sound.

Janelle didn’t even seem to have noticed it.

“When you’re gone,” she was saying, her eyes crazed, almost inhuman, “then I’ll get my career back. Pete will cast me to replace you. I’ve been practicing all of the lines, and I know exactly what to do. And then all of this—the dressing room, the assistants, the money and fame, will all be mine. Just like it should have been.”

The trailer door suddenly swung open. “Evangeline,” Cole said, “are you—”

He took in the scene in about two seconds and was across the trailer before either Janelle or I could react. He moved so quickly that I could have imagined it.

He tackled her, pulling her arm down before she could make a slash toward my throat.

I stumbled back instinctively, as far from her as possible. I bumped into the wall and lost my balance, ending up on the floor.

Janelle was screaming obscenities at him and thrashing now, but Cole had her in a wrestler’s hold so she couldn’t move or raise her arms.

Two other members of security came running in too, and then they were hauling Janelle out of the room. There was a lot of commotion outside the trailer. People were yelling and asking questions.

And I totally lost it. The world just wasn’t working the way it was supposed to. Everything had turned painfully inside out and upside down.

I burst into embarrassing tears, still huddled on the floor where I’d fallen.

Cole had been snapping out orders to the guys who had taken Janelle outside, but he turned around when he heard me. He slammed the door closed.

Then he was there on the floor beside me, pulling me into his arms, holding me as tightly as he’d held me before.

And he was murmuring, “It’s okay. I’ve got you. It’s over now. You’re safe.”

But I could feel the rapid beat of his heart and how his body was trembling almost as much as mine.

For some reason, it was reassuring.

“You’re going to be okay,” he said softly.

After a few minutes, I believed him.

This hadn’t changed everything. The world wasn’t all set to rights again. Even now I was sure that Cole hadn’t changed his mind about me.

But at least I had an answer. At least this one part was over.

At least I was safe and, for the moment, wrapped in Cole’s arms.