I glanced at the pictures Dad had sent through email. He looked happier than I'd seen him in a long time standing in front of rows of fluttery green grape vines. I'd never seen him in faded jeans and work boots. And he'd given up on his every four week barber shop visit. Even his five-o-clock shadow had gone well into midnight shadow. And the gray peppered through the dark beard made him look like a distinguished rustic grape farmer. He'd looked for love his whole life and now he'd found it . . . in the earth. The vineyard stretched out over the rolling hills behind him and the hills ended at a wilderness of shrubs. Beyond that was the vast river, flowing between the sculpted green hills like blue silk. He was desperately trying to coax me back to Europe, back into his life, and every picture, especially the ones where he was standing with his familiar grin and laughing blue eyes, brought me a bit closer to the idea. But now there was a major reason for me to stay near my old home town. Each day brought me closer to Joshua and farther from the notion that this relationship was wrong. I loved Emily. That had never been compromised. She would always be the sister I never had. But my feelings for Joshua were deep, far deeper than I could have imagined.

Irene's heels sounded on the floor in the hallway. The woman spent so much time marching around, checking that everyone was working, it was a wonder she got any of her own work done. I clicked out of my dad's emails and got back to filling in claim forms. It was a monotonous task I didn't mind because it gave me time to daydream and think about Joshua.

I'd left him sleeping deeply, looking amazingly hot stretched out beneath a tangled white sheet. It had been sheer torture climbing out of his bed and leaving him behind, but I wanted to leave Camden Beach long before the sun was up. Somehow it was much easier driving through the town in the dark, where shadows made shops and houses look unfamiliar.

File folders dropped suddenly onto my desk from above. "I said your name twice. You need to focus on your work so we don't have any more mistakes like the other day."

I looked up at her. "You mean when you transposed the numbers? That was your mistake. Not mine." The woman had been slowly chipping away at my self confidence, and I'd had enough. She never apologized after the severe scolding that I had not deserved. In fact, I deserved the opposite. Since I'd pointed out the mistake to her, she'd actually grown even harsher toward me. If someone made a comprehensive list of the worst human character traits, Irene would check off every damn box.

I slid the folder in front of me and ignored her. She lingered like a vulture for a few more seconds and then click-clacked away. I was never going to buy another pair of heels because the sound of them hitting a tile floor made me cringe.

My phone buzzed in my desk drawer. I leaned out to make sure Irene was gone and pulled it out.

There was a text from Joshua. "I thought I'd wake up with my Rebel in my arms, but she was gone. Now the rest of the day is shit."

"Sorry, I wanted to escape before the sun came up."

"You mean like a vampire?"

I smiled as I typed back. "Something like that. When do you have time to come see me? I already miss you."

"I'll see what time I get off tonight and let you know. In the meantime, keep missing me."

I sent him three heart emojis and opened the drawer to put away my phone. It buzzed again. I laughed in anticipation of what he wrote back. But it was a picture from a number I didn't recognize. I tapped it open and the picture spread across the screen. Emily and I were standing in our Halloween costumes. I was a butterfly and she was a pretty pirate. She was thirteen, and she was heading to a school dance after she took me out trick or treating. It was her first dance, and she had been so excited she practically pulled me along from house to house to hurry me. She got home late that night, or at least late for a thirteen-year-old, and she snuck into my room to tell me all about the dance. And I could barely hear one detail over the excited voice in my head reminding me that my new older sister found me important enough to tell me about her first school dance.

Tears burned my eyes as I stared down at the picture. We both looked so darn happy, and at that time, things were still rolling along smoothly. Dad and Michelle were happy. Emily and I were happy. But it wasn't long after that when things changed dramatically. At least for me.

I looked again at the phone number. It wasn't part of my contact list, but I had a good idea of who’d sent it. I grabbed a tissue from my purse. I hadn't realized my hands were shaking until I went to wipe my eyes.

I texted Joshua. "Does Dylan know we're seeing each other?" I'd never asked Joshua because I really didn't want to know.

The response came back after a long pause. "Yes. He saw your name on my phone when you called the other day. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Is anything wrong?"

"No, it's fine." I dropped the phone back into my drawer and stared at the computer screen. The numbers and charts were a blur, and it felt as if my cubicle was closing in on me like the sides of a coffin. The shaking in my hands was replaced by a terrible tingling sensation. I rubbed my hands together to keep them from going numb.

Dustin heard me working hard to catch my breath. He peeked over the partition and his eyes rounded. "Rebecca, is everything all right?"

I nodded and then shook my head.

"I'll get you a cup of water." He raced off to the water cooler.

I'd been plagued with panic attacks for long enough to know when I was facing one, and I'd taught myself how to slow them down. I closed my eyes and tried to think about a happy situation. But the only thing that came to mind was being with Joshua, and that wasn't helping to negate the source of my attack.

"Here you go." Dustin had practically crushed the flimsy paper cup between his thumb and forefinger, and judging from the tiny amount of water left inside, most of it had sloshed out on his harried journey back to the cubicle.

Sipping the water helped me forget about my erratic breathing and some of the tingling left my fingers. Dustin stared down at me with such a profound look of worry on his face, I couldn't help but smile back at him. "Dustin, if I haven't told you enough, and I'm sure I haven't, you are a good friend."

"Seriously? I thought break time ended an hour ago." Dustin and I both startled at the shrill voice. Neither of us had heard the sound of the sharp heel alarm.

Her approach had helped snap me out of my fog. I spoke up quickly. "Dustin was just bringing me some water because I felt a little faint." I waved my hand for effect. Although it actually felt good.

"Get back to work, Dustin," Irene snapped. "And I'm watching you. You are on thin ice, Rebecca. One more major mistake like you made the other day, and you'll be out of a job." She spun on her heels and marched off.

It could have been the picture or the panic attack or the fact that it seemed I just wasn't ever supposed to be happy, but I was done. I pushed my chair back so hard it rattled the entire cubicle. Then I stepped out into the aisle.

"It. Was. Your. Mistake . . . Witch."

Irene froze in her hostile tracks. The entire office came to a halt. You could hear the time clock ticking and the water cooler gurgling, but that was it. I was especially aware of Dustin, who sat like a terrified block of stone in his cubicle.

"Excuse me?" A red blush was already rising up around the collar of Irene's blouse, and her cheek twitched just a bit.

"How do you do it? I mean, do you get up every morning and look in the mirror and ask yourself ‘how can I make everyone's day miserable? What can I do to make sure everyone thinks I'm the worst fucking person on the planet?’ It must be. Because you achieve those goals every damn day. Meanness comes so naturally to you that you don't even seem to realize that you are a venomous snake. Shame on you for being such a wretched person." I knew I should just stop and clean out my desk, but I had a year's worth of anger layered up inside. "And you don't even bother to know any of us. Jennifer, over in accounting, has twin boys who have medical needs that require her to take off once a month, but instead of asking her how you can help and make her life easier by tweaking her schedule, you dock her pay. I've lost a sister. She died in a car accident when I was nineteen and it devastated me. But you don't know that because you don't ask one thing about the people who work so hard to make you look good at the board meetings. But you don't ever look good. There just isn't enough magic in the world to erase the evil that swirls around you every second of the day."

"Get your things. You're fired." Her hands were balled so tightly I half expected blood to drip from her palms. It was a short curt response. Apparently, I'd left her somewhat speechless.

"Gladly." I walked into the cubicle and pulled out my purse. I jammed my pictures inside of it but left the half dead plant. I circled around the corner and kissed a stunned, yet smiling, Dustin on the forehead.

Irene clapped her hands once. "Everyone else get back to work, or you can leave with her."

I caught a few winks and secret smiles as I swept past the cubicles. Timing was on my side. The elevator slid open the second I pushed the button. I stepped inside and waited for the doors to close before letting the tears flow.