Ten Years Ago

The light at the window shut off and a tangle of red hair poked outside.

“The coast is clear,” I whispered to her. Kaycee grinned at me from her second-floor window and held a finger to her lips, so I watched in silence as she finished climbing out and down the side of the garage.

Even in the dark, dressed in a plaid button-up shirt and jeans, she looked unreal. Her flame-red hair was tied up in a messy bun at the back of her head, a few tendrils escaping during her efforts at climbing. I had a perfect view of her butt as she shuffled down the drainpipe, and I surveyed it unabashedly.

“You’re fucking hot,” I said when she reached me. Then I took her up into a passionate kiss, feeling her breasts pressed up against me in a way that made me want to tear her clothes off right then. Even though we were just outside her parents’ place and she’d sworn me to silence until we made our escape.

Kaycee smiled at me, her green eyes half closed from the steamy kiss. “Thanks,” she said. “I do what I can.”

“Sneak out for illicit evenings with your favorite guy?”

“And trounce my parents at Scrabble, I’ll have you know. Games night was a real coup for me tonight.”

“You’ll have to invite me over sometime,” I said. I tried to keep the comment casual. To be honest, I’m not sure it worked. Kaycee looked at me slightly askance, as if measuring the depths of my potential joke.

"So you have a hankering to beat my parents at Scrabble? If you can, that is."

Her smirk was delectable, warming her eyes and making me want to push her up against the garage wall. Instead, we strolled down the alleyway hand in hand. Her skin was so soft, tender next to mine.

"I have no doubt whatsoever in my mind that they'd beat me. It's just, it'd be nice to get to know your folks."

"Aren't you going to be super busy with the band soon? All those shows coming up?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can't live my life, do other things."

"We'll see."

I couldn't read her tone. Kaycee avoided my eyes for a moment and then smiled back up at me brightly as if the pause had never happened.

"Great! So where we headed tonight? Library for you to study up, prepare for Scrabble battles with my parents? Marcus' mental list of words that use Q but no U is impeccable, I'll have you know."

"Fun as that sounds, I had something else in mind," I said. We walked down to the docks, along the lakefront to the main street area of town. It was a quiet late-summer night, the soft noises of the water lapping at anchored boats the only sign we were near Beech Lake at all. A few blocks into town, and we arrived at our destination.

There was a show for a blues band out of Minneapolis that Jack and Stevie had organized in an attempt to get the music scene in Beech Lake more attention. God knows it was going to receive more press than it needed in a few weeks when our tour started in earnest. We'd already been surprised by the amount of bloggers writing commentary about us from the few songs we'd posted online over the summer.

The Avowed Brothers were quickly becoming a real, actual rock band. Gone would be the days of playing in our dad's garage, warming our hands by the space heater so that we could play properly on a chilly spring night. Stevie had us all excited for the tour, even bought one of those camper vans so that we'd be able to travel together and stay overnight on the cheap. But I was a little uncertain about what the next year would be like.

Kaycee was going to Minneapolis soon to start her college degree. Once I was on tour, and she was busy with classes, we'd have to do a long distance relationship. She was worth it, no doubt, but I was nervous. Something about the idea that she'd be around all these guys, these smart, driven college students, and not just the goofy drummer she met in high school, well, it unnerved me. I knew Kaycee was way too good for me; there was no denying she was brilliant.

The past six months had shown me that in spades. I couldn’t believe my luck in dating someone like her.

"Whatcha thinking about?" she asked me, puncturing the silence and drawing me back into reality.

"Do you think that crows could be trained to fly in an evil swarm to do my bidding?" I said. No way I could let on what I'd just been contemplating.

Kaycee made a noise that was halfway between a scoff and laughter. "Win, where do you come up with these things? You're the weirdest clown ever."

"You take that back," I said, feigning offense. "Clowns are creepy. I am suave." And with that, I slung my arm around her like a nervous 14-year-old on a first date, pretending to yawn and then stretching so that she was under my shoulder.

"Smooth as peanut butter," she laughed.

"I like it crunchy," I said, waggling my eyebrows.

"How on earth did you just turn a comment about peanut butter into something that sounded vaguely sexual?"

"No vaguely about it, babe, that's just my natural charisma overpowering your feminine wiles."

"Oh God, is that what that smell is?" Kaycee said, still laughing, holding a hand up to her nose now.

We were nearly at the concert venue, where the lights of the town glowed with a warm hue in the late summer air. If you caught the breeze at the right moment, there was a hint of fall. Soon Beech Lake would be back to its off-season sleepiness with the tourists headed back to their regular towns.

"Nice!" said Kaycee, forgetting her pretend game for now. "I thought you might be bringing me here. I've been meaning to check this band out."

Inside the joint, we met Stevie and Jack near the entrance. They'd grabbed us a table and were well into their pints.

"Want one?" said Jack. Though I'd normally never hesitate to make use of older brother privileges to get a rogue beer or two, with Kaycee here I wanted to be on my best behavior. Especially since she'd be meeting hoity-toity college dudes in a mere week or so.

"Nah thanks, I'm good," I said.

"Yes, please!" said Kaycee, and I had to stifle a grin. Of course she'd do something like that and complicate my mental picture of her. She was too cool, too smart, too beautiful. Too much altogether, but when you combined it somehow it was perfect. She was the best person I'd ever met.

Stevie raised an eyebrow at me. "Nice company you're keeping here, Win, you sure this girl's a good scene?" He directed his comment more to Kaycee than to me, trying to make clear to her that he was ribbing me and not her.

"I'm a menace to society," said Kaycee. "If the authorities only knew, I'd be locked up between Hannibal Lecter and the Joker."

"At least you're honest," said Stevie, smiling broadly as he delighted in Kaycee's response to his joke. It was clearly more than he'd hoped for. I'd dated a few girls before that Stevie had tried to goof around with but who'd straight up misunderstood his comments.

Kaycee was different.

"Though you do have a nasty habit of mixing fictional worlds, don't you?" I said, leaning into the conversation. Jack arrived shortly afterwards with a drink for Kaycee, some dark stout beer that she'd mentioned to him before he went to order.

"Now if anyone asks, you're my 22 year-old cousin from Scotland," he said, winking.

For a moment, I was jealous. Jack was dark and handsome in a way that made glowering look appealing. But he and Stevie moved on to find spots near the band once they started the set, leaving us behind at the table with a significant smile. They knew I liked her a lot. I appreciated being given the space.

There were two members in Toothache, the band: a salt-and-pepper haired middle-aged man with a deep magenta guitar and his elderly black band mate seated in front of a small drum kit. Though they had an unassuming appearance, they started to play and the room was soon filled with crunchy, warm blues music.

In the mellow lighting of the restaurant, Kaycee's red hair glowed like molten copper. Her skin was softly freckled from the summer's months of sunshine, and she swayed back and forth to the beat like she could feel the music in her soul. Maybe she could.

After the first song, I reached out my hand and stood up. "Want to dance?"

Kaycee didn't say anything, just took a sip of beer, putting the glass down on the tabletop before she slid from the stool and took my hand. We weaved our way through the audience that had gathered at the edge of the stage front, most of whom were swaying gently to the music or nodding their heads with thoughtful expressions.

Once we got to the front, I wrapped my other hand around Kaycee's waist, my blood quickening at the feeling of how the top of her hip curved inwards to a natural resting point where my hand settled comfortably. She smiled up at me, tilting her head back and forth as she moved to the music, and I swear my heartbeat stopped. It was just music, the two of us, and this timeless, spaceless moment where our skin sang and the fuzzy guitar notes crept into our ears like secret, welcome guests.

I could have sworn that the hairs on my arms stood on end while we danced, my face grinning involuntarily. The rhythm was more intoxicating than any beer could be; Kaycee was also a good dancer, keeping perfect time and clearly feeling the music deep within her.

When the next song started, Kaycee drew closer. There was a heat between us now, electricity waiting to crackle, ready for a moment when something could be sparked into being. If anyone was paying attention to the two of us, it felt like they'd see it bright as lightning. I imagined that there could be a thunderclap, deep and rumbling, to follow if only we touched.

We'd been dating, spending time together, enjoying the lazy summer days at Beech Lake that seemed to exist outside of the modern world, but now reality was going to come crashing back into our lives. It was the last night we'd both have off work before Kaycee started college and I went on tour with The Avowed.

So we danced. The songs channeled a kind of sultry despondency that perfectly matched my mood, my longing for Kaycee to fulfill her dreams while also somehow not moving away. And when the sweaty, textured sounds finally came to an end, I blinked through the realization that we'd danced the entire time, my feet now sore and cramped. I wasn't used to dancing much at all.

"Want to get out of here?" said Kaycee. She was still leaning close, every inch of her tingling against me. If she wasn't careful, she'd soon be feeling how hard I could get when thinking about her. I'd had a whole summer to practice.

"Definitely," I said. "Where to?"

I had expected she'd suggest somewhere tame, like a late-night snack at the ice cream bar. But she whispered in my ear an altogether different plan.

"I want you to have sex with me," she said.

It was all she needed to say. Within seconds, I'd clasped her hand tightly in mine, waved at Jack and Stevie, and stepped out of the restaurant without another look. It made Kaycee laugh, seeing how eager I was. She'd known I was ready whenever she was, wanted her, hoped she'd want me too.

She was a good girl, though, and I didn't want to rush things. But if she was ready to do the rushing, then all my nerve endings were screaming to join her.

I texted Kyle, knowing that Jack and Stevie would probably be out late, trying to pick up girls from the last batch of tourists on their end of summer flings before heading back to reality.

"You home?" I said. "Going to bring Kaycee over."

Luckily, Kyle responded that he was out at a friend’s place. I’d have the house to myself, what with Dad on the road and everyone else busy tonight. It was perfect.

Kaycee and I strolled along the streets and alleyways that led back to the house, a moderately large cabin that would have been a vacation rental to many, but was the only home I'd known in Beech Lake. As we made our way farther from the lights and buildings onto the forest path, Kaycee drew closer. It wasn't cold; she just wanted to keep the connection between us, keep touching me.

It made my arm, my leg feel blessed, to have the sensation of her so close by. I could only imagine how amazing it might be if we did get back to the house and she still wanted to go all the way. I couldn't wait. Despite that, we walked slowly, enjoying the night and each other's company as if through our every step we were reinforcing the good times we'd had.

Underneath it all, there were the twin feelings of utter excitement at possibly being able to consummate the lust I'd felt for Kaycee for so long now, and the dread at having her move away. Though that wasn't fair, to be honest, since I knew I'd be away from Beech Lake too. It wasn't a big enough town to support a career as a musician any more than it was a place to study to become a lawyer.

Finally, we were at the opposite end of the lake from the town site. Here, the cabin sat nestled in a dense thicket of evergreens, with a grassy knoll in front that led down to the water. There were other cabins around, but it was quiet. Tranquil. You could see the moon peeking out from a thick cloud, casting just enough light to make Kaycee's eyes glow when she turned to me.

"I want you, Winston," she said. It was the sexiest damn thing anyone had ever said to me. Not just because of the words and what those words meant. Because it was coming from her. I had gotten to know Kaycee out of desire, sure, but each and every day I learned more about her, saw different facets of her personality and became more and more in awe of her.

"Let's get inside, then," I said. I took her hand again, enjoying the warmth of her skin as a contrast to the cooler air outside.

To my surprise, she stopped me.

"No one's around, right?" she said, glancing back to the house and then out at the closest cabin to the East. The end of the season meant we gradually retreated into a more reclusive way of life. I shook my head.

"Can we do it here?"

I had to fight the smile that threatened to split my face. Of course she was a little strange in this, losing her virginity. That just made sense. It was Kaycee: quirky, intense, and secretly a bit of a romantic.

"Under the stars, hey?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "There'll be more than one moon tonight."

"Knock it off," she said, snorting and swatting at my arm as I danced, shuffling my hips around suggestively. "I was serious." Her voice got quieter, eyes cast down to the mossy ground.

So I pulled Kaycee closer, tipped her chin up so that we were eye to eye. "Sounds magical," I said, trying my best not to inject any stupid jokes into the comment, not to convey any unnecessary sarcasm, as came reflexively to me.

And she smiled shyly, starting a walk down the grass to a secluded spot near the water. There was a scent of pine and dew, a soft breeze in the tops of the trees, and I knew in the deepest corners of my heart that this was going to be unforgettable.

"Let me just grab a blanket," I said, turning to go inside. But before I could make it up a step to the entranceway, Kaycee scolded me.

"Winston Sargent, you come back here right now. I didn't spent my entire life waiting for this moment only to have to wait anymore."

She didn't have to tell me twice.

Near the water's edge, I kissed her. Kaycee's lips were always soft, but on this particular night they were pillowy, tender. Her skin was like silk, enhanced by the mild evening temperatures and the moisture in the air from being by the lake. When I felt her hands on me, running over my body like they knew me intimately, it was the same as many times we'd made out before, but with a special, terrifying possibility as an undercurrent: tonight was the night.

It was electrifying and maddening, a spark that charged each touch with double the sensations, raged through me until I was so hard I thought I might seriously injure myself against my jeans. But Kaycee reached down and felt me, her eyes widening in the moonlight so that I could see a small reflection of the moon in her eyes.

"I can't wait for you to be inside me," she said.

I couldn't help myself, I groaned, thrusted so that she could feel me rub against her through the fabric of our clothes, and she met my movement with a shuddering roll of her hips.

God, she was sexy.

Next thing I knew, we'd pulled each other out of our shirts, the night a little cooler now that we were less clothed. Luckily, the warmth of Kaycee's skin more than made up for it. I could have curled up with her and waited for the sun to rise, enjoyed the soft burning heat of being next to her, if only she hadn't said she was ready. Now I couldn't wait either.

With another deep kiss, Kaycee's hands tugged at my belt, unzipped my fly. In a dazzlingly fast instant, her hand was inside my pants, around me, causing my eyes to roll back in my head and my cock to threaten to reach epic proportions of hardness. I could barely take it.

"Ready?" she said. Words completely escaped me, so I just nodded emphatically, fighting the urge to thrust into her hand and explode.

Kaycee slid out of her jeans, revealing soft pink underwear with delicate lace around it. If I were a betting man, I'd have put my entire summer job's earnings on the fact she wore those specifically for tonight. She knew what she wanted.

That was half of what I loved about her. Kaycee had this way about her, a ferocious, driven intelligence that surrounded her like gravity. I'd been drawn to it the day I saw her in band class, and I knew then that I had to get her attention. It was mere luck that she'd been with me since.

I couldn't believe the good fortune I'd had to get to this moment, hovering above Kaycee in the inky darkness, soft moonlight casting shadows on the grass around us. She looked like an elven princess: ethereal, wise, graceful.

And then she took off those carefully chosen pink panties, unclasped the matching bra, and laid in the grass before me like it was no big deal to look that way, to be shaped the way she was and to allow me to see her naked.

It was everything. Incredible.

I fumbled to grab the condom package I kept in my wallet, unroll it onto myself, and pause to confirm with Kaycee. It was time. When I slid into her, I moaned with the absolute, ecstatic rush of sensation that followed. She arched her back to accommodate me, and there I was. Inside her.