Present Day

It was happening. I was sitting in O’Donaghy’s office trying my best to focus on what he was saying. A senior partner was talking to me! Something about prominent public figure, divorce, custody of children. I could read the file as soon as it was on my desk and get up to speed. I was just stunned this was happening at all.

The important thing here? I was finally being assigned a meaningful case. I was more than halfway through my yearlong contract at Edelman, Kazinsky, & Thompson and I’d been getting worried they didn’t want to keep me. Judging by the cases they’d given me up until this point, I might have been right.

That was all changing. Now I’d have a chance to prove myself. To really work the case, make a huge settlement or win in court. Whatever it’d take to make my client happy, to ingratiate myself amongst the senior partners. As it stood right now, I’d been feeling like my master’s degree was a mistake, maybe even studying law in the first place was too.

Happy thoughts danced in my head as I tried to regain my composure and follow what O’Donaghy was saying.

Someone knocked on the glass door and I snapped out of my daydreams. It was Brad.

O’Donaghy smiled and waved him in, gesturing to the chair next to me, which Brad sat in with a smile.

“Good to see you, sir,” Brad said. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at his formality, knowing full well Brad talked more like a bro reproduced with a surfer when he wasn’t around a senior partner.

“Glad you could join us,” said O’Donaghy.

But what was Brad doing here?

As if O’Donaghy could hear my thoughts, he continued: “Now, Bradley and Kaycee, you can work out the details of who will be second chair after our discussion. The positions make no difference in the outcome of the case, I presume. Do right by our client and I can tell you, the senior partners will be impressed. Very impressed indeed.”

No.

No way.

Brad wasn’t going to swan his way into this case—my case—so easily.

“But I was thinking,” I started, unsure of what words would follow after I spoke up. All I knew was that I had to say something. Unfortunately, brilliance didn’t come to me magically in that moment.

“Yes?” said O’Donaghy. Brad smiled at me expectantly, his face smug with the glow of his beachy tan.

“Never mind,” I said. “Lost my train of thought.”

I couldn’t outright refuse to work with Brad. He wasn’t my favorite coworker, that was true, but it wasn’t like we got to pick our battles when we were lowly associates. Still, it grinded against every nerve in me to have to share this, to potentially lose the prestige of winning a case for O’Donaghy.

We lawyers aren’t exactly good at sharing.

“I certainly hope that your mind will be more attuned to the task at hand when it comes time to handle Mrs. Carmichael’s divorce, Kaycee.”

Facing O’Donaghy’s disapproval like that, I shut up and smiled. “No, sir, of course it will be.”

I mentally cursed at myself for letting Brad get to me. He was always so calm, so infuriatingly chill.

So I kept my mouth shut and listened to the rest of O’Donaghy’s rambling discussion of the case. I didn’t look at Brad anymore, trying to erase him from my mind to give room to the divorce. But in the back corners of my thoughts, I knew that he was there. And he was getting the case too.

So much for my big chance.

Back to the drawing board for ways to keep my job next year. I took my phone out once I was back at my desk and texted Greg.

“On a big divorce case! But co-running case with Brad… Not sure what that means.”

I waited for a few minutes in case he responded, but nothing appeared onscreen. Since I was still shaken by the experience, I texted Winston the same thing.

“Means you kick butt, K!”

I smiled, took a deep breath, and focused on continuing my day. I could do this.

* * *

I took a huge swig of my beer, wiping foam from my upper lip before I waved to Freddie. She beamed and joined me at the back of the room.

“God, today would never end,” she said. In her hand, she clutched a martini, dirty, with a hefty supply of olives.

I checked my phone. “It’s actually only seven. Not a bad end time, all told.”

“How sad is that?” she said. “I’m getting so used to the late nights that I want to agree with you, even though I know tons of other people who aren’t lawyers who actually leave the office before 6 every day.”

“Lucky bastards,” I said. I clinked my glass against hers even though I’d already taken a sip.

“Ah,” said Freddie, “but they miss out on the intellectual thrill of reading hundreds of pages of old cases.”

“You’re right,” I said. “19th-century civil litigation about mules is a treasure that most miss out on.”

Freddie giggled and I smiled, relieved to be with a friend. My thoughts had been muddied this afternoon, focused on the jarring experience of having Brad added to my case halfway through the meeting with O’Donaghy. I was worried it meant I’d be fired. Or that my contract wouldn’t be extended.

Before I could drink much more of the beer, we were joined at our booth by Malcolm, Tanner, and Cole.

“Ahoy!” said Malcolm, his accent slightly thicker than usual. This meant he’d probably already had a glass of red wine before the one he was holding. “What are you lasses up to this fine evening?”

Tanner and Cole nodded as they shuffled in. Cole’s eyes were rounded by dark circles, and Tanner had his tie loosened to an almost comical degree.

“You guys look a bit worse for wear,” said Freddie.

“Big win on that murder trial,” said Cole. His voice was a little scratchy, probably from practicing his arguments out loud before the court heard them. “We started celebrating shortly afterwards.”

“Oh wow, congrats!” I said.

“And when exactly was it that you won?” asked Freddie.

Malcolm glanced from Tanner to Cole, grinning sheepishly. “About three hours ago,” he said.

“Ah, so you’re stinking drunk,” said Freddie.

Malcolm nodded. “Aye.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” said Tanner.

Cole just took another swig of his beer, his eyes blearily focused on the middle distance.

“You ok there, Cole?” Freddie said.

“He totally killed him,” said Cole.

“Totally allegedly killed him,” said Tanner. “And not without reasonable doubt.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Cole. “Sometimes I just don’t think I’m cut out for this shit.”

“Hey,” I said. “You could always join us in the family law division.”

“No way,” said Freddie. “If you’re jumping ship from criminal come to the shiny tenth floor and work in corporate. Don’t let those scroungers in family get their hooks in you.”

“Ha ha,” I said, but I let Freddie handle the rest of the conversation. She was upbeat and persuasive, and though Cole didn’t exactly look happy at the end of her convincing speech about the thrilling world of securities and insurance, he seemed less glum.

“Are you happy in family law, Kaycee?” asked Tanner. He must have noticed that I backed out of the discussion.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Hardly convincing,” said Malcolm.

“It’s just…”

I found myself looking around the table at four sets of eyes all intently focused on me. Not that I was shy, just a little surprised. “O’Donaghy was giving me this great case today, and then Brad came in and he also put him on it.”

“Oh,” said Freddie.

“Yeah, I don’t know. It’s weird,” I said.

“So you’ve gotten to the test,” said Cole. Malcolm and Tanner nodded.

“What test?”

“The family law division does that every year. Throws a major case at their new contracts to see who sinks and who swims.”

“Wait, so this is like a competition between me and Brad?”

“Isn’t everything?” said Freddie, raising an eyebrow. “You know there’s been a target on your back ever since they hired you two at the same time.”

“Argh,” I groaned. I drank another gulp of beer. “Just when I was thinking the senior partners might want to keep me on.”

“They might,” said Cole. “Depends on how you do. If they like what or how Brad argues more, well…You might need to brush up your resume and start finding out what other firms need associates.”

He stared at me morosely. Guess the murder trial had really gotten to him. Cole was normally bright and entertaining, the last person to leave a party and the first to show up with snacks in hand to help set up.

“Don’t listen to him,” said Freddie. “You’ll kick ass. And don’t you dare update a single word on your resume until the whole thing’s over.”

“That you will, Kaycee,” agreed Malcolm. Tanner nodded along, his smile encouraging if bleary from the afternoon of drinking.

“A toast,” said Freddie. “To Kaycee’s imminent victory over the divorce case and subsequent permanent job at our fine firm.”

“I’ll toast to that,” said Tanner. He, Freddie, and Malcolm raised their glasses expectantly and watched as I begrudgingly joined them, only moments before Cole did.

“Cheers,” I said. Everyone else murmured the word with varying degrees of slurring.

“Now let’s focus that celebration of yours,” said Freddie. “Not every day your cohort wins such a big case, hey?” She directed her attention to Malcolm and Tanner primarily, having seen that Cole was less than enthused about the murder trial.

The group started to chatter about the biases of different judges and I sipped my beer, unable to stop thinking about the new case. I had to win it. But what did winning mean? All I knew was that I loved my job and wanted, needed, to stay on permanently. If that meant that Brad had to lose out, so be it.

Once I reached the bottom of my glass, I was feeling exhausted and couldn’t manage the idea of another, though Tanner protested.

“I think I’ll turn in early and catch up on sleep,” I said. The deprivation from the past few weeks was gaining on me. I hadn’t even been able to sit through a movie with Greg in a long time; after the first five minutes, I was usually snoring on his shoulder.

“Aw, you’re no fun!” said Kaycee.

“Romantic,” said Cole. “Sure your boyfriend loves to hear that.”

“And a fuck you, too, Cole,” I said. Just cause the world seemed bleak to him today was no excuse for rudeness. I stood up and gathered my things while the others gave Cole a mild but loving stink eye. “Night everyone.”

* * *

The apartment was messy when I got home. Not ‘someone threw a rager and hasn’t cleaned up yet’ messy, just…the kind of clutter that happens when neither of the people living there has tidied recently. Ok, maybe not in the past month. I’d been busy.

“Babe?” I said, tossing my keys in the dish by the door. There was a muffled thump from the living room, and I peeled my shoes off with relief. I couldn’t wait to sit down on the couch.

But when I rounded the corner, I could safely say that I had never wanted less to sit on the couch than in that moment.

The thump I’d heard was definitely Greg.

And a naked girl on top of him, straddling my boyfriend’s naked body like she’d done it countless times before. One of my legal books was half-open face down on the floor, having clearly just been knocked off the coffee table by one of their limbs. I gaped at them.

“Jesus Christ!” said the girl, “who are you?”

Greg had the decency to look alarmed that I’d just caught him boning someone else. His response wasn’t what I expected, though.

“Tina, that’s my girlfriend.” His voice calm and steady. Fucker.

And then ‘Tina’ looked at him with an appalled expression. “You have a girlfriend?”

“Not anymore,” I said. It wouldn’t take me long to pack my things. I’d figure something out.

Goddamn, I felt like a fool.

“We were breaking up anyway,” said Greg.

“Excuse me?” I said, clutching the bag I’d just picked up to start packing. “We most certainly were not.”

“Are you serious? All those late nights at the office, early mornings. You’re never here. We barely see or talk to each other.”

“I texted you today, just this afternoon!” I knew I sounded shrill and indignant. I didn’t care, though.

“Yeah, about how you’re getting even more work? So then you’ll be so busy you don’t even sleep here or something?”

“Uh, I’m going to get out of here,” said Tina or whatever her name was.

“No, stay,” said Greg. There was more emotion in his voice saying that than talking to me.

I was done here. Needed to leave.

“Yeah, stay if you want,” I said to her. She blinked at me like a deer startled by an eighteen-wheel truck. “I won’t be long. But you know, Greg, next time you want to get rid of someone you should actually tell them you’re breaking up with them before you move on to the next girl. Watch out for that, Tina,” I said.

And then, within ten minutes, I’d packed up as many things as I could carry. I didn’t own much, having moved to Los Angeles with only a suitcase and my acceptance letter to UCLA’s LLM program. Still, it felt strange to see my life in shambles, fitting into the kind of bag you might take on a weekend trip to the lake.

When I emerged from the bedroom where I’d grabbed my clothes, Greg and Tina were sitting awkwardly far apart from each other on the couch. She didn’t make eye contact, but Greg watched me leave.

Good riddance.

As I slammed the door on the way out, I felt every inch the powerful woman wronged but not disempowered. It was only when I reached the bottom of the building in the elevator that I realized I had no idea what to do next. Fury, I could do. Survival after that? I wasn’t sure.

Winston would know. Sometimes I felt like he knew me better than I knew myself.

“Greg’s been cheating,” I texted him. “It’s over.”

And with the tap of the send button, there you had it. Now it was real. Acknowledging the truth made it sting far worse than before. The dim lobby of our building suddenly seemed painfully small, and I felt tears rush to my eyes.

I wasn’t crying over Greg. Not him, really. What made the tears stream down my face, collecting in a salty pool at my chin before cascading down my neck, was the feeling that I was all alone now. I’d built so much of this life through hard work, but work couldn’t save my relationship. If anything, it sounded like it’d caused some of the break.

That and Greg’s wandering eye. Or wandering penis.

I laughed at the mental image of a disembodied dick with a little hobo bag, trying to hitch a ride to a more appealing part of town. Somewhere with women who weren’t so busy with their careers. It was in that state of mind (namely, sobbing chuckling mess) that Winston found me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him, blinking at his face in the entryway. I’d expected a sympathy text, not my best friend at the entrance to my building. Ex-building.

Winston didn’t speak, just gathered me in his sturdy arms for a hug that felt all encompassing. Reassuring. Sorrowful. Chock full of every emotion I knew he’d be fighting at the sight of me like this, because if our situations were reversed I’d be aching for him, too.

We’d known each other so long it was like that: we could speak without saying a word.

He smelled like cloves and comfort. My body felt so small against his, the broad shoulders and arm muscles that surrounded me as much a home as anything in this world.

After Winston hugged me, he stepped back and surveyed my face. His eyes were darkened partly from the dingy lighting in the hallway, and partly out of the storm of anger I could see he was brewing towards Greg.

“I’m so sorry, K,” he said. “Need me to go punch him?”

I laughed half-heartedly and shook my head. “No, thanks.”

Winston looked around the entryway with a fresh perspective now that the immediate need to hug me had been fulfilled. “I was on my way through the area after a meeting with Stevie. You sure you can’t afford better digs? Thought lawyers were supposed to be flush with cash.”

“Not with my grad school debts and a temporary contract that could be the end of my career at EKT if I don’t crush it on this new case.”

“Which you will, of course,” said Winston. He smiled at me, those dazzlingly white teeth perfectly straight. “You want a drink or something? Drown your sorrows?”

I shook my head again. Winston was being amiable but I didn’t have the heart to show precisely how deflated I was feeling. I just wanted to sleep.

“So what happened?”

“Can I explain later, Win? I need to get some rest. Just …drop me off at some Holiday Inn or something.”

“What? No way,” he said. “My place is always open to you, especially after some dickweed ruins your night. Plus, The Avowed’s going on tour in a couple months. You can stay as long as you need.”

Relief rushed through me, a thick and warm feeling of utter, complete reassurance.

“Really?” I said. I knew I should protest, should claim it’s an imposition, but I couldn’t muster the energy. Plus, it was Winston. He’d see through it anyway.

He smiled gently and rubbed my arm. “Absolutely.”

A smattering of nerve endings on my arm responded to his touch, a strange but welcome reaction that showed how little human contact I’d had in the past few months.

It was good to be with him. That comfort and support, it was what your friends were for. And Winston was the best friend I’d ever had.

Only, deep in my head and somewhere in my solar plexus, I felt a creeping wonder—was it ever really that simple?