Ren had come into this shitty situation with something resembling a plan.

She’d cooperate as much as she had to, tell them the truth when they asked, but she'd never expected a sympathetic ear from her Karuvar captives. She purposefully held back details for fear they would think her crazy and thus disposable. And, most importantly, she spent her free time looking for weaknesses that she could exploit.

Weaknesses in the room, in her captors, in the guard schedule, and especially in the security system. She'd spent time in captivity before, she knew what to look for, and she knew when to take a chance.

Or… she thought she did.

Two days ago, she'd been confronted by Rhavos as he tried what Ren could only guess was a more personable approach. She'd taken that for what it was worth—exactly nothing, since she knew she couldn't appeal to his sense of compassion—and had decided to turn this whole "mate" thing back on him instead.

It should have worked. It was obvious Rhavos thought this whole thing was complete nonsense—he'd even said as much. If she could plant a seed of doubt in him, use his own beliefs against him, then there was a chance she'd still get out of this alive.

But he'd taken it as a challenge; a way to prove he still had free will, that his implant wasn't controlling him.

And then she'd kissed him.

God, why had she done that? At the time, she'd told herself it was meant to show him how awful it felt to have no control over your actions, but that had turned into a lie she could never have anticipated.

Because it hadn't been awful. At all. Something had driven her to that point, and something drove her straight past it and way, way too close to the reality where she was fucking an alien in a quarantine room.

Or worse: Begging him to fuck her.

Fuck. At one point she’d been grinding against him like a cat in heat. Even when she had a few beers in her, Ren never let her inhibitions take that much of a vacation. So yeah, she proved her own point, but not in the way she wanted.

The hell of it was, she'd had an effect on Rhavos. He stopped coming to her little prison, sending his lackeys instead. Ren should have been looking for ways to exploit the lack of muscle, the breech in security, but instead she was forced to deal with the actual, physical aches and pains she felt every time someone who wasn't Rhavos walked through that door.

She hated it. She hated that she wanted him. She hated that she could barely think of anything else.

But… there was an oddly useful side effect. She'd discovered it the night before, when she'd been forcing herself to stay awake for fear of falling deeper into the all-too-real dreams she had about Rhavos. She focused on any and everything she could, and found that her memories weren't nearly as fuzzy as they had been. When she thought back to her college days, there wasn't as much static. She could remember names, faces, course numbers. She could even remember scribbling down a date.

There was something there, but if she tried to grasp it too hard, she lost the thread. Either that or Rhavos came within what seemed like a five-hundred-foot radius of her and her hormones went ballistic.

She had no idea how she was going to face him if he actually came back, but it didn't seem to be in the cards for today. Just after she'd been given breakfast, she heard a knock at her door, followed by a feminine—and definitely human—voice.

"Ms. Alvarez? My name is Addison Monroe, and I'd like to ask you a few questions if you have some time."

"Got nothing but time in here," she said reflexively. But then her brow furrowed as she realized what this woman had called her. "I never gave my family name to anyone here."

"You didn't," she confirmed. "That's what I'd like to talk to you about."

"… All right."

The door opened, and a tall woman with long, blonde hair stepped inside the quarantine room. She was smiling, a clipboard clutched to her chest. Ren realized that—outside of the people who'd processed her intake—this was the first human she'd actually spoken to since arriving at Helios.

Why, then, did she look so familiar?

"I'm sure you want answers, so I'll get straight to the point," the woman said. "When you were brought in, I thought I recognized you from somewhere. I couldn't place your face alone, but when Rhavos revealed your name, I remembered something I was given about five years ago."

Addison pulled a sheaf of papers from her clipboard and offered them to Ren. She accepted them, a quizzical look on her face, and that uncertainty only grew when she scanned the page.

Biological Dependence and its Impact on Humanity, by Renee Alvarez

Her lips parted in silent question, her gaze flicking back to Addison before she continued with the paper.

"This is… I spent months working on this."

She kept reading, the words coming to her with such clarity that she knew she'd seen them before. Hell, she'd practically memorized them once upon a time.

"This was my thesis paper," she said. "How did you get this…?"

Her pulse was racing, and for a moment, Ren felt like a little girl again. Exposed and vulnerable, cowering in that cellar as the door was pried open.

"You gave it to me," Addison said softly. "I spoke for a guest lecture at Everton College. You approached me afterward and handed me that paper."

She couldn't remember Addison's face or even her name, but she could remember sitting in that lecture hall and being blown away by the woman at the podium. She'd been so excited to share her theories and her ideas with someone who understood; someone who might be able to implement them.

"I… I think I remember," Ren said, her hands shaking as she read more of the paper she'd dedicated months of her life to researching and writing.

"Once I had a name, I called in a favor and started searching through some records," Addison said, pulling out two more sheets of paper and handing them to her. "Five years ago, after being an exemplary student, you just… stopped attending class. You stopped participating in campus activities. For all intents and purposes, you disappeared."

The first was a transcript showing her Incomplete for all the classes she'd been taking that semester, along with a note about her lack of attendance. She flipped past that page and gasped when she saw the second.

It was a copy of a missing person poster, with her face on it.

"The police wouldn't do a full investigation, so some of the students and faculty purchased an ad that was run in the local papers. Nothing ever came of it."

Ren was finding it hard to breathe. The thesis, the transcript, this ad… all of it unlocked a wealth of lost and fractured memories, yet she couldn't seem to grab onto any of them.

"What's the last thing you remember from your time at the college, Ren?" Addison asked gently.

She shook her head, prepared to say she just didn't know; that she couldn't remember. But something came to her. An image that was far less fuzzy than the others. She grabbed it and held on tight.

"I was meeting someone for drinks." A face flitted through her memories and she gritted her teeth. "A man named Dallas. We were just talking, and then… I don't remember."

Addison wrote down a few things, but before she could ask any more questions, Ren spoke again.

"They did something to me. To my implant." Panic set in, her eyes wide. She clutched at her arm, feeling what she could only describe as a phantom pain there. "I don't know what it is, or how it works, but…"

Ren choked back a sob. Five years. That's what Addison had said. Five years of her life were just… gone. Her friends. Her degree. Everything she'd worked so hard for. All of it just gone.

And that wasn't even getting into whatever the Freedom Fighters had made her do.

"I think… I think they had me writing malicious code," she confessed, unable to stop herself.

"Malicious code?" Addison asked with a frown.

She drew in a shuddering breath, tried to get control of herself. "The last time I… woke up… I was looking at an executable program that was meant to target implants. I think it was some kind of virus."

Addison's eyes widened. "… Are you sure?"

Some part of her resisted. Some part of her wanted to deny it all and focus on getting herself out of this mess. But Addison knew of her past. She'd been a part of it. And right now, Ren was overcome by a desperate need to have that back.

"’In darkness, we fear. In darkness, we wait. In darkness, we see.’ It's one of my favorite lines from The Deafening Blind. I use it in everything I code as a signature."

"Then you were the one who altered the kits' code," Addison said, her face going pale.

Ren looked up, her stomach coiling with dread. She'd done this. They'd made her do this. All to harm innocents. “I didn’t know,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Please, you have to believe me. If I’d known…”

“You’re not on trial here,” Addison said, reaching out to squeeze her hand. Ren drew in a breath and tried to calm down. “But I do need you to answer a question for me, and it's important that you do so truthfully, and with as much detail as possible."

"I'll try…" She curled in on herself, her hands still shaking as she just stared at the picture of the woman she'd been.

"Do you remember anything after that night? After you and Dallas met at that bar?"

"I…"

She tried. She tried so hard to fight past the blackness. Then and now. But every time she reached out, there was nothing to grab onto. Just hazy, fleeting moments. Dallas smiling at her. Leaning in close to whisper something. His hand at her waist as he led her out of the bar. And then… nothing.

Icy fear spread throughout Ren’s consciousness. He could have done anything. Could have made her do anything. And she’d been powerless to stop it.

She closed her eyes, let out a shuddering breath, and tried to push past the strong desire to throw up. But before she could dig any deeper, the door was thrown open so fiercely that it rattled on its hinges. Rhavos filled the doorframe, massive and imposing, a murderous look chiseled into the hard lines of his face.

And Ren found herself feeling… relieved to see him. Grateful for his presence.

Because at least with him here, she wouldn’t have to think about those five years she’d lost.

"What are you doing to her?" he snarled at Addison.

Rhavos moved toward her, placing his body between her and Addison. Another Karuvar male moved to occupy the space Rhavos had once held, his violet eyes burning with the same thing she'd seen in Rhavos': A desire to protect.

"Kor'ven, I'm fine—" Addison started.

"This doesn't concern you, Engineer," Rhavos growled. "It doesn't concern either of you."

"You have been terrorizing this poor girl for a week. Now I'm finally getting us somewhere, and you want to—"

"Leave!" Rhavos’ command sliced through the room, instantly silencing everyone in it. "Now!"

Addison, evidently not deterred, looked around Rhavos' large frame. "Think about what I asked, Ren. Please."

She nodded, but scooted herself all the way back on the cot until she was propped against the wall. Rhavos let out a bone-rattling growl that finally made Addison and the other Karuvar move, both of them leaving the quarantine room, the door shut behind him.

Ren should have been terrified. She was alone with a hulking brute of a male who'd just proved he wasn't above the threat of violence to get what he wanted.

Yet when that door was closed, when it was just the two of them, she felt like she could finally breathe for the first time in ages. And with that breath, she was unable stop the sudden, gasping sobs that followed.