PIPER ERIN SAT ON the bottom stair leading up to her apartment, the empty parking lot spread out in front of her. Her car was packed. All she had to do was leave and this nightmare would be in her rearview mirror. She was tired of fighting to put herself back together, fighting her friends for a nanosecond of their attention. She didn’t want to fight anymore.

She swiped her thumb across the screen of her phone, mulling over the very short chat she’d had with her therapist this morning.

An exercise in challenging herself had turned into hiding things from her friends. It wasn’t right, and she was going to do something about it when they got back from their double date trip. If she didn’t get behind the wheel of her car and just—go.

She propped her chin on her fist and stared out at the street.

Sometimes she wondered if she was a magnet for situations like this, if being raised the way she had in a van with a hippie dad, traveling the country, meant she didn’t have what it took to function in normal society. Dad would, of course, tell her the problem was the world—not her. But this time, she didn’t agree.

Piper was broken. She could feel the jagged pieces of her soul that hadn’t healed right poking at her, creating new wounds. Would she ever be whole?

She leaned back against the stairs and gazed up at the wide, blue skies.

Ten years ago her life had changed through what she’d thought was a routine break-up. She’d had no idea how deranged Carl had been or the lengths he would go to make her miserable. At first, it was the people. Her friends left her, siding with Carl, except one. Gideon. Back then, friendship wasn’t what she’d wanted from him, but he’d become her rock through the next chapters.

The day she found out about the videos, Gideon had been with her.

Carl had recorded their intimate moments for months. To get back at her for breaking up with him he’d uploaded them to the internet. She could still remember the shock and outrage she’d felt standing in the police station. They’d brushed her off and threatened to arrest Gideon when he blocked an officer from trying to walk away from her. Her lawyers hadn’t, and with their backing she’d gone after Carl.

Maybe that was where her life took the turn for the worse.

Carl’s fans had attacked her in public, at professional events, and a few even showed up at her apartment. She’d become a prisoner in her home, with one friend left by her side.

If she had to guess, that was why this distance between her and the girls hurt so bad. She remembered the pain of losing Gideon after a few years, how it’d felt like her heart was carved out of her chest, and she didn’t want to go through that again.

Which meant she had to get better. She needed to figure her shit out and make things right between her and her friends. But how? How did one broken woman make this mess better?

Her therapist had suggested challenging herself by doing something out of her comfort zone while he was away. He’d left the what up to her, which had spawned her idea to flee the city and her problems.

Piper blew out a breath.

If she were really honest with herself, she envied her friend’s happiness. Seeing what they had was what had pushed her to going to Dr. Yun in the first place. If she wanted that kind of person in her life, someone to love her, she needed to be whole.

She rubbed at her chest, that old ache throbbing. There was a time when she’d thought the man for her was already in her life.

Maybe that was what she needed to do, resolve that relationship so she could move on.

A plan clinked into place. A crazy plan, but it was a plan.

Piper pulled her keys out of her pocket and got to her feet.

Dr. Yun wanted her to challenge herself. The biggest throw-down she could think of was pushing herself to go on a date with the one man she’d thought she loved, the one who’d been with her through it all.

GIDEON MACKENZIE HIT the bottom of the stairs and slid a good six feet in his socks across the bamboo floor. In less than ten words his whole world had spun out of control. He stared in horror at the state of the living room and kitchen. It looked as though he’d hosted a week of benders rather than coding nonstop for two weeks. This was how it got every time he was finishing up a project. He couldn’t be bothered to do anything except work, eat and drink. Letting the maid service in didn’t rate on his scale of shit to care about.

At least not until Piper Erin texted to ask if she might swing by for a minute.

That was five minutes ago.

He’d had to finish the email sending his project off to the clients all the while his mind was focused on that one event.

Piper was coming over.

He stared down at his legs. His bare legs. He’d managed to put on a shirt and socks—but no pants.

Fuck.

There were very good reasons he scheduled pizza to be delivered the week a project finished. His brain was so mushy he couldn’t do simple things like order food or remember pants.

He ducked into the laundry room and grabbed the first thing out of the hamper. He was ninety percent certain that stuff was clean. Or clean enough so he didn’t answer the door in his fucking underwear.

The last time Gideon saw Piper... He wasn’t sure he remembered when. It had been a while, partially by design, and because he’d landed back-to-back projects.

“Okay...” He stared around the house at a loss for where to start. “Maybe she won’t notice the place looks like shit?”

Piper would notice and she’d laugh at him.

He did a quick tour of the kitchen, dragging a trash bag with him and removing the take out boxes and their days old stench.

Why would Piper ask to come over now? Was something wrong? Had Carl done something?

The idea of Carl breathing in Piper’s general direction was enough to make Gideon want to go get a tire iron and a ski mask. The shit Piper’s ex had done to her wasn’t something Gideon would wish on his worst enemy. There were lines of human decency, and Carl had crossed them without a care that he was hurting the woman he claimed to love.

Gideon sucked down a deep breath. Thinking about that period and the many levels of frustration at being relegated to doing nothing wouldn’t help him out right now. Besides, it was unlikely that Piper wanted to talk about Carl. That whole series of events was years—almost a decade—in their past.

Had he really known Piper almost ten years?

Gideon stopped and stared out the windows giving a spectacular view of L.A. spread out below.

He remembered the first time he’d met her. She’d still been with that piece of trash, though it was at the end of their relationship before things went nuclear. Gideon recalled the gut punch of jealousy he’d felt that a dick like Carl was with someone as fucking awesome as Piper. Back then they’d all been nobodies, barely lucky enough to score a ticket to an event. He and Piper had bonded over music.

She was the daughter of a true hippie, raised in a van and traveling the country. Her father worked the audio for any number of music festivals. It was a unique way to grow up. He could spend hours listening to Piper tell stories about her life. She made everyone else boring by comparison.

When she’d broken up with Carl, Gideon had seen his chance.

There was chemistry. They had similar interests. They were both music junkies in the tech world. But then Carl happened, and it was all Piper could do to hold it together. She’d needed a friend, not a boyfriend, so Gideon had bottled up his feelings and done everything to be there for her.

Three years of hell. There was nothing worse than watching a person he cared about be whittled away to nothing. He’d sat there, giving Piper a shoulder, listening to her cry, opening her mail, and even sitting in the courtroom while the jury had to watch everything Carl had uploaded to the internet out of spite, all the recordings of their private moments Piper never knew about. Through it all, he’d seen a change in Piper. The light slowly went out and there wasn’t anything he could do to protect her. No amount of hamming it up to get a laugh out of her or taking her somewhere no one knew who she was helped.

That spark was still in there, but it was harder and harder to see. Piper was a fighter, but the war had changed her, hurt her, and he didn’t know how to help anymore while remaining honest about their relationship and what he wanted.

There’d been a point that last Christmas they spent together where Gideon accepted that his motives for remaining close to Piper were self-serving. By being her friend, deep down, he wanted what he’d always wanted—to be with her. And that was why he’d taken a step back. He’d helped connect her to some other women in her field, prayed they’d be her support structure, then took steps back. He flaked on their plans. He stopped answering texts, chats, phone calls. He slowly but surely choked himself out of her life until they really weren’t friends anymore.

So why was Piper coming to see him? Why now?

Every time he saw her, a bit more of that brightly burning flame was back. Time was healing her, but she didn’t want him. Not like he wanted her, and to pretend to be friends would only hurt her, and that was one thing he’d never do. He’d watched her suffer enough to ever allow himself to be a source of her pain.

His phone buzzed.

Gideon glanced at the screen and the single, ominous word.

Here.

He swallowed and closed his eyes.

They were friends, just like they’d always been.

One of the nice things about when they were together was how easy it was. They always seemed to fall right back into that same familiarity, which was why even a casual friendship was too much. He desperately wanted to soak up time with her, but that would only feed his desire for more.

Screw it. He needed this fix, and then he’d figure a way out like he always did.

A shadow stretched across the entry, the figure clouded by the frosted glass.

He sucked in a breath and steeled himself.

The doorbell resonated through the house and vibrated his phone. It was a little extreme, but if he was working he often didn’t remember what a knock sounded like.

“Be cool. You are cool. Everything is cool,” he muttered.

Gideon strode to the door and pulled it open before he could talk himself out of it.

Piper rocked back on her heels. The afternoon sun made her blonde hair seem like tendrils of spun gold stroking her face. She smiled one of those wide, easy grins of hers.

“Hey. Deadline time?” She nodded at his shorts.

“What?” He glanced down—at the boxers he’d put on over his other boxers. “Shit.”

Gideon stepped back out of the view from his neighbors and closed his eyes.

“I like the blue. That’s a good color on you.”

“I thought I was grabbing shorts. One sec.” He darted into the laundry room and this time found a pair of jeans. There was a bit of something suspect on one leg, but at least he wasn’t wearing more underwear.

“I’d ask what you’re working on, but I know you can’t tell me.” Piper’s voice drifted further away, then closer. She must have taken a right through the dining area, around the kitchen and into the living room.

Properly dressed, Gideon emerged from the laundry room and stepped into the kitchen.

“How badass is the thing you’re working on?” Piper leaned on the kitchen counter and propped her chin in her hand.

“On a scale of one to ten, I think it’s a solid eight. A lot will depend on how it’s implemented, used and marketed.” He gestured at the fridge. “Want a drink or anything?”

“No. I can’t stay long.” Piper gripped the edge of the counter and stared at the surface.

“What’s up, buttercup?” He didn’t like how she wouldn’t look at him.

Gideon circled the bar and leaned against the chair next to her to wait her out. Sometimes Piper needed a long pause to sort out her words. That just gave him another precious moment to commit the vision of her to memory.

“This is going to sound super crazy, which is why I didn’t know who else to ask.” Piper peered up at him, her lower lip pinched between her teeth.

“Is this let’s-fly-to- São-Paulo level of crazy—”

“No. Yes. Maybe?” She shook her head and chuckled. That trip... it was the moment he’d realized the precarious situation he was in. They’d followed a party, gotten too drunk to find their way back to the hotel, and so they’d sat on a curb until some other tourists helped get them to the hotel.

“São Paulo was fun. Hit me with it.” Gideon slid onto the stool and faced her.

“I’ve been seeing a new therapist.” She gripped the edge of the counter as though she needed it to anchor her there.

“Okay.” He was aware she’d had a steady shrink to work out her PTSD from the fallout with Carl and the resulting tidal wave of hatred aimed at her.

“That’s not the full truth. I’ve been seeing a therapist who focuses on...relationships, intimacy...” Piper’s cheeks tinged pink.

“Okay.” Gideon shrugged.

“Sometimes I forget that nothing fazes you.” She sighed and slid onto the stool next to him and turned to face him.

“This is L.A. Everyone’s seeing a head doctor for something or another.” And considering how badly Carl had hurt and betrayed her, it was no wonder she had problems with relationships of any kind.

“Long story really short, I got a little annoyed that my therapist was taking notes from Tamara’s sessions and talking to me about it. It seems like we talk about the same thing over and over again without any progress. So I found someone new.”

“I have so many questions. I don’t know where to start. Does he coach people on how to have better sex?”

“Maybe?”

“Is it working?”

“I’m not having sex.” Piper’s cheeks were a pretty shade of cherry red, but at least she was smiling.

“I’m going to need the long story I think.”

“I don’t have time for that. I’m supposed to have a lunch meeting here in a few.” She checked her phone and then sat up straighter, gaze locked with his. She wasn’t backing down. That was the Piper Gideon wanted to see again. “Right, short story even shorter. Dr. Yun challenged me to do something out of my comfort zone while he’s out of town. I want to go on a date. Not a real date, obviously. A fake, going through the motions one. And I thought of you. I know I sound crazy, and this is really strange, but I need to ask someone who knows me. I want to stop being half the person I used to be. I don’t always like who I am now. I have to quit burying myself in work and ignoring everything else, you know? You don’t have to, but...you came to mind first. If I was going to ask anyone to help me out it should be you, right? And I’m rambling.”

Gideon stared at Piper. Those were both the most beautiful and heartbreaking words he’d ever heard. On principal, he couldn’t say yes. Sitting across from her at a dinner table under the guise of fake-dating would bring up all those feelings he’d repressed over the years. It would be torture.

“You can totally say no and it will not hurt my feelings,” Piper said in a rush.

“Let me get this straight.” He reached over and took her hand, massaging her knuckles. For all her bravery, she was still scared and hurting under all of it. “You were told you have to date someone, and I’m the first person you thought of?”

“No, I wasn’t told to date, just do something outside my comfort zone. This... Well, this is so out there I’m starting to sweat thinking about it.” The blush spread to the rest of her face, all the way to the tips of her ears.

I’m flattered, but I can’t this week. I’m busy with cleaning my house, you see...

Gideon had an out. A time frame. It was right there. But his mouth wouldn’t form the words, not with Piper staring at him and asking for help.

“And what kind of a date did you want to go on?” he asked.

“I-I don’t know,” she stammered.

Gideon had seen Piper in a lot of states. Angry. Sad. Depressed. Laughing. But this? It was completely new.

When she’d decided she wasn’t going to let Carl’s shit storm hurt her work, she’d become this powerhouse of purpose. No one had her skill when it came to making immersive audio. It was magic what she did in a sound effects lab. She’d succeeded to the point that she could work or not work if she chose to. And now she was aiming that same purpose at herself. Becoming the person she wanted to be.

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, damning himself to misery. Her eyes widened so he let his lips linger, feeling the warmth of her skin against his, the flutter of her pulse.

The chemistry was still there.

There was no way he would allow someone else take her on a date. How would he know if they were putting her first or not? They might not know her nervous tics, when being out was too much strain, the kind of places she’d enjoy without getting stressed. This might hurt him in the long run, but he was the only person he could trust to think of her first and his own desires second.

“Then how about I surprise you?” He lowered their joined hands to her thigh. This might be an assignment, but he’d put his all into it. Piper might never want him, but at least he could stock up on his fantasies, right?

“You don’t have to go all out.” She wagged her finger at him.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do.” He did tend to splurge between projects, but only because once he picked up a new gig he barely glimpsed the outside world.

“Gideon, I don’t want you to say yes because you feel bad for me or that you’re obligated to do this.”

“Hey.” He squeezed her hand. “When have I ever said yes to anything I didn’t want to?”

Thanks to one of his earliest projects selling for a tidy sum, he’d been able to work on what he wanted, when he wanted, much like her. She’d been his inspiration when it came to how he ran his business. And right about now, the only thing he wanted to work on was Piper’s assignment.

Piper swallowed and licked her lips.

He stared at the glossy flesh and felt that old, familiar tug. Yeah, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever met. A few shadows and rough years didn’t change that one bit.

“How about you send me your schedule, I’ll compare it with mine and we’ll get something on the calendar?” He knew how busy they both were most of the time.

“Is tonight too soon?” she whispered.

“Afraid you’ll lose your nerve?”

Piper nodded.

“Hey, it’s me. You have nothing to be worried about.”

Except for the fact that he was already in love with her.