She was the best fuck of my life. I wasn’t going to live the next three weeks in the same city with Ava Gold and pretend she wasn’t here. It wasn’t happening.

Something happened between us that night in Sydney. Something I never admitted to myself. I didn’t get attached. I didn’t have relationships. Maybe that was why I ran out on her the next morning—because I felt it.

I felt different lying next to her. As if suddenly she had become mine. I was possessive and protective all at once. Those weren’t natural instincts for me. I’d never had anyone to care about.

Jim was the closest thing I had to family and he wasn’t exactly modeling relationships. The man had never been on a date that I knew of. He was a bachelor—devoting his life to my career.

I’d never cared about having a relationship. Women were everywhere. I’d never had a problem finding someone beautiful to fuck. Why bother with all the mess and confusion that came with a girlfriend?

But when I fucked Ava it wasn’t like the other women. I lost a part of myself. The world spun to black and there was only one thing that mattered—her.

When I met Ava, she was another conquest. Another woman to challenge me. But the second I had her in my hotel room, it all changed. She brought me to my knees. She got under my skin. Her voice filled my ears. Her sweet slice of heaven wrapped around my dick like it owned it.

Bloody hell, I wasn’t walking away a second time.

* * *

I reached for the door to the shabby hotel where she stayed when my phone rang. All the athletes were given their own cells to use when they checked into the village.

I looked down. It was Jim.

“Jim.”

I looked toward the blue sky. The sun hung over the palm trees like a ball of fire.

“Good news. The pool is open.” He sounded excited.

“What?” I took a step back from the door to let a couple pass me. “How is that possible? You said another day at least.”

“I think word got out you were pissed. Your bark is loud enough, Blaine. The valves are ready and everything is running. You can train tonight. The water is waiting for you. I’ll meet you over there?”

I hesitated. I had forgotten about the pool. I was on a mission and it had nothing to do with my butterfly stroke. I couldn’t tell that to Jim. He’d flip the fuck out.

“Yeah, you’ll see me there.” I had to get my shit together. This was the Olympics. A lifetime of preparation was on the line.

Years of swimming. The hardest training of my career had gone into these games. I couldn’t blow it off for a woman. Even if she was the woman who had changed everything.

“Good. I’ve got your bag. Can’t wait to see you in that Olympic water.”

“Yeah, right.”

I hung up and shoved the phone into my pocket. I couldn’t storm up to Ava’s room now. I had to swim. Damn it.

Maybe after practice I could try to talk to her again. I could make her understand. I could tell her what it was like when I woke up and walked away that morning.

For now, the aquatics center was where I needed to be.

* * *

My first dive into the pool was the most photographed of my life.

The entire press corps was gathered around the pool when I walked out of the locker room.

“Bloody hell, Jim.”

He slapped me on the back. “I know. But they want to see you practice. There’s nothing I can do about it. All practices at the Olympics are open. You know that.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to feel like a fucking zoo animal.”

I unzipped my hoodie and adjusted my goggles. The flashes went off with every moment. I wasn’t even on the dive block yet.

“How did they find out I was here?”

“The aquatics center sent out a newsflash on one of their social media accounts,” Jim responded.

“They did what?”

He shook his head, warning me not to lose my shit in front of a hundred news hounds.

“It was going to happen anyway. At least now you get the bloody press out of your face, and for the rest of the week the novelty will be over for them.”

I scowled. I wanted to swim, but not like a fucking trained dolphin.

“Pretend they aren’t here. You do it all the time.”

Jim stepped back while I stretched in front of the open lane. I had the same routine I used before every meet. I was superstitious and ritualistic about how I swam. I crossed the right arm over the left first—always.

I never changed the order of movements.

“Hey, Blaine. How are you feeling today?” a reporter shouted from the side of the pool.

I ignored the question, but flashed a smile.

“What’s your first day in Rio de Janeiro been like?”

“Going to break another record?” The questions kept piling up.

I should be happy as hell I was here, but in the back of my head was the frustration that things with Ava were unresolved.

“All right, first lap is a warm up only,” Jim instructed. “Get a feel for the lane. Just let your muscles ride out the water. Okay?”

I nodded. Jim was worried the time change would affect my time. It was one of the reasons we arrived so much earlier than the other swimmers.

“Whenever you’re ready.” He smiled at me.

“And what about them?” I tilted toward the press.

“Block them out.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled the goggles snugly in front of my eyes. I tugged the straps behind my ears. The swim cap snapped against my forehead as I completed my pre-swim ritual.

Drown them out, I told myself. I looked straight ahead. The water shimmered. I could see the interlocking rings on the tiled floor glistening through the depths. I was the first one in this pool. I owned it. I owned the gold.

I gripped the sides of the block with the edges of my fingers, tucked my knees, then dove forward, pushing off with the strength in my legs. I sliced through the water, skimming as far as I could before coming up into my freestyle stroke.

The water felt good. I took in enough air and eased into the first lap, letting my arms and legs stretch before I kicked off the wall for the return lap.

By the time the first round of warmups had finished, half of the stands were full. I propped my elbows on the edge of the pool.

Jim leaned down. “Well, we know who everyone is going to be cheering for next week.” His grin spread from ear to ear.

“This is bullshit.” I kept my voice low. “I just want to swim.”

“Then swim.” He stood up, pulling his timer from his coach’s jacket. “Do a full medley.”

“Still bullshit.” I dove into the water as the timer started to tick.