“Tell me. Tell me now,” I growled. My lungs pushed into my ribs, searching for room to breathe.

“It was right before we were supposed to leave for Saints College” She sniffed. “I took a test. Emily was there.”

“Emily? Emily Cornwell?”

She nodded. “That was back when we were inseparable. She knows the whole story. But that’s not really the point.” Sierra breathed heavily. “As soon as I knew it was positive I stuck it in a bag and drove over to your house. But you weren’t there.” She looked up at me, with tear-filled eyes. “Your dad was.”

“My dad?” I didn’t get it.

“He saw the test. He found out I was pregnant.”

“No.” I shook my head. “Not possible.”

“He threatened me. He told me I had to leave and never talk to you again. He didn’t want the baby to ruin your college career or your AFA chances before you even started school.”

“No,” I growled louder this time. “Dad wouldn’t do that. Nothing meant more to him than family. Nothing.”

She nodded against my protest. “Somewhere in his heart I believe he thought he was doing what he had to do to protect you and your mom. At least that’s what I’ve told myself.”

“How? How did he force you to leave? I want to hear it.” I gritted my teeth.

“He threatened to tell you it was someone else’s baby. He threatened to ruin me. I didn’t have a choice. I packed up and left.” She picked up the glass of wine and finished it off. “I didn’t want to leave, but what did I know? I was eighteen and pregnant. He scared me to death. So much that I listened to him.” Her eyes misted and the blue shook my soul. “I never should have done it. I shouldn’t have listened to him.”

“But you did.” The words fell as the defeat sank into my shoulders. What in the hell had my father done?

“Your mom was so sick.” She wiped her tears. “And I didn’t want to make that worse. She needed you. You needed her. I would have pulled you away from her last days. I knew that even back then. I knew I was going to rob you of time with her. Precious time you wouldn’t get back.”

“You didn’t think I was a strong enough man to figure it out on my own?”

“I’ve always thought you were strong. You were the strength I needed every day in my life. It was never that I thought you weren’t strong enough.” She covered her face with her hands. “It was because I wasn’t strong enough.”

“Where’s the baby Sierra? What happened to the baby?” I felt a desperate instinct kick in. Maybe that should have been my first question. Where was my child?

“It wasn’t ever going to be a baby. The pregnancy was ectopic. I miscarried two months after I left.”

“Shit.” My mouth hung open.

“By then I didn’t think I could come back. I had already ruined everything. And I couldn’t tell you I had lost the baby. I just couldn’t.”

“I could have handled it.”

“Really?” she questioned. “Your mom was gone. You were grieving and I didn’t want to ruin the happiness you had in your life. You deserved those. You were already headed to the conference championships. You were rookie of the year. You had a new girlfriend.” Her eyes hardened. “I didn’t have a place in your life anymore.”

“She wasn’t a girlfriend. And it wasn’t a happy time.” I ran my hands through my hair. “This is fucking unbelievable.”

I rose from the floor and paced the edge of the porch. I felt like a caged tiger. There was nowhere to go. And even though I felt restless, I felt like I couldn’t leave her. Not after she had just told me she was going to have my baby all of those years ago.

“I know. I know it is. And I’m sorry, Blake. I should have been stronger back then, but I wasn’t. You were my life. My everything. I didn’t know what to do without you. And I didn’t have the courage to stand up to your dad. Not without you I couldn’t.”

My hand rested on the railing and I looked at her.

“All these years I’ve been angry as hell at you.”

“I know you have.”

“So angry, I wanted every trace of you gone. Every memory. Every song. Every movie. Every joke we laughed about. And you know how I did it?”

She shook her head slowly.

“I fucked every woman I met. I fucked them so you wouldn’t be in here anymore.” I pounded my chest. “I threw everything I had into football. And I became the best. The absolute best.” I clenched my jaw. “So I guess I should thank you for that, Sierra.” The bitterness in my voice was palpable. I didn’t know if I was angrier before she told me or now.

“Blake…”

“Don’t,” I growled. “Don’t you dare give me your fucking pity.” I glared at her. “I got over you. And some story about a baby that doesn’t exist doesn’t bring that all back.”

Her slender frame extended from the chair and she walked toward me. Graceful. Beautiful. Sexy.

“It doesn’t have to bring anything back.”

Her hand touched my arm, singeing my skin with heat.

“But the secrets are gone. The lies are out,” she whispered. “This is who we are now.” Her hand moved up my arm.

“I can’t go back to who I used to be,” I warned her.

“I don’t want you to,” she whispered. “I want to know this version of you. I want to know the man you are.

“Every time we get close again I hold back. I’ve been afraid you would find out the truth. And now that I know about your dad…” Her words drifted off.

“You were that scared of him?” I questioned.

She nodded. “He was your father, and I know you’re in pain dealing with his death, but he terrified me.”

“You never should have felt threatened. Never.”

My hands balled into fists by my side. The need to hold her and protect her against the injustice consumed me. I didn’t care if it was my father or a stranger—she never should have faced that fear alone.

“Blake, can you forgive me? Can you try to understand why I kept the secret?”

“I get it when you were eighteen, but why didn’t you say something sooner? Why did you wait until today? Why now? You could have tracked me down. You could have tried, damn it.”

“It seemed too late. I didn’t want to live in the past. I didn’t want to relive the pain, honestly. Knowing what we could have had.” She bit her lip. “It haunts me every day. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I hate what happened. I hate you were scared. I hate you were alone.”

She locked her gaze on me. “But do you hate me?”

“God, no. I don’t hate you.”

And I lost it. I lost the reasons I was angry, or the reasons I wasn’t. I didn’t care about the house, or the fact that she was leaving. I didn’t care she had left. And that if she had to do it all again, she’d probably make the same decision. I didn’t care about any of that shit right now. All I cared about was taking her to bed. Taking her in my arms. And drowning in her.