After the flight lands, we take a cab to Tom and Pete's place in Hollywood. It's a huge house, the kind that belongs on an episode of Cribs. The main room has a tall ceiling and a curving staircase straight out of Sunset Boulevard. There's a big backyard in the back, complete with a shining blue pool.

It's Southern California celebrity perfection.

Pete excuses himself to his room. Tom sits me on the couch and presses his lips into my neck.

It's as soft and sweet as it was yesterday but it feels different. Fuller and emptier at once.

"I'll make coffee." He steps backwards. "We have an hour before we have to leave. You can take the shower down here or the one in my room."

"You have a shower in your room?"

Tom smiles smugly. "I got the master bedroom."

"How did you pull that off?"

He shrugs nonchalantly. There's no pain in his eyes. Is he hiding it from me or from himself? I try to convince myself that he's feeling better because of my epic comforting skills, but the suggestion falls flat. His mom might be dying. That kind of pain doesn't go away because of a hug and a nice night of sleep.

I find the downstairs bathroom and take a long, hot shower. I'm not ready to face the onslaught of feelings that come with being in the same room as Tom so I take my sweet, sweet time changing into my party dress and doing my makeup.

I'm almost finished when there's a soft knock on the door.

"Why do I feel like you're avoiding me?" Tom asks.

"Just getting ready."

"You want coffee? We have almond milk."

"Okay."

"It's already waiting on the counter." He taps the door. "There's plenty of snacks in the fridge if you're hungry. Our housekeeper makes sure the kitchen is full of food whenever we'll be home."

I press my fingers into the door at the places he's tapping, so the thick plaster is between is. "No. I'm not hungry."

“Is there something exciting in the bathroom or are you ready to admit you’ve avoiding me?”

I don't know what to say here. I unlock the door and step into the main room.

Tom is all cleaned up in slacks and a button down shirt. Damn, does he look good cleaned up. Just as sexy as he does in his usual tattooed bad boy jeans and t-shirt.

Tom's eyes scan my body. "You look fucking hot."

"Thanks."

His gaze goes to my chest. "Tell me you're not wearing panties either."

"Either?"

"You're not wearing a bra."

"How do you know?"

"Your nipples are hard."

"It's cold."

"It's almost eighty degrees outside and the windows are open." He gives me a thorough once-over. "Don't tell me. It will be even harder not to touch you in front of Drew." Tom shakes his head. "Never thought I'd be this disappointed to go to a party."

"You really like having sex with me."

"Fuck, yes." Tom pulls me into the kitchen and hands me a cup of coffee. "Why does that sound accusatory?"

"It's not."

He looks at me carefully. "You want eggs?"

I nod.

"Well, you'll have to wait until we can pick something up. I can't cook for shit."

I laugh. "You're a tease."

"Thank you."

I take a long sip of my coffee. It's good—dark, nutty, creamy, and sweet at once—but that doesn't make this easier. "Why don't you want me to come with you to see your mom?"

Tom runs a hand through his hair. He doesn't say anything. There's all this pain in his eyes. Confusion too. "Need some time to think."

"About what?"

"Can't exactly explain it."

"I don't want to add to your frustration," I say. "I'm sure there's a lot on your mind, with your mom. I don't want to make that harder for you."

"You don't, kid."

I stare back into his eyes. They're earnest. But then why doesn't he want me there? I take a deep breath. My lack of sleep isn't helping me find clarity in the situation. "We can talk about this, about what it is, after you see your mom."

He looks at me for a while. "If you're sure that's what you want."

I'm already loving the idea. I don't want to add to my frustration either. I want a fun night with Tom in Los Angeles. I want everything to feel easy and effortless again.

I finish my coffee and set the cup on the end table. "Positive."

He presses his lips to my neck. "If I see you frowning, I'm going to use every tool at my disposal to get a different expression on your face."

"Like..."

He runs his hands over my chest. "This." Then down my sides and along the hem of my skirt. "This." He pulls me closer so his erection is pressed against my crotch. "This."

"This?" I press my lips into his.

"No. Like this." He slides his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me into a long, deep kiss.

I see fireworks. Even as I pull back and open my eyes.

"Oh," I breathe.

There are footsteps upstairs.

"We don't have twenty minutes," Pete says. "Either make it a quickie or find another ride to Kara's."

I laugh.

Tom shakes his head, but he untangles our bodies.

* * *

The party is in full swing when we arrive. Kara practically bounces over to us. Hard to tell what her legs are doing under her royal blue dress. She always looks picture perfect, but today she's especially glowing and glamorous.

"I can't believe it, but I actually missed you two." Kara smiles.

She pulls Tom into a hug before he can escape. He grimaces. Slowly, he accepts the hug. Pete doesn't take it much better.

Kara turns to me. "How are you doing, Willow?"

"Good. Except for the jet lag," I say.

She takes a long look at me. "Hmm. Yes. I bet it was the flight keeping you up late." Her gaze goes to Tom. "Not anything else."

Tom shrugs who me?

Kara nods yes, you. She shakes her head in a teasing way.

"Congrats on your degree," Pete says. "We got you something—"

Tom cuts in, handing her a blue gift bag stuffed with yellow paper. "You'll like it."

"Aw, thanks guys. It's even in my school colors." Her expression fills with affection. "You didn't have to do that."

"We did." Tom winks. "Drew can thank us later."

Kara blushes. "Oh, lord. Tell me it's not inappropriate."

Tom feigns innocence.

Kara peeks inside the bag. Her cheeks turn red. She pulls the gift from the bag, showing off a naughty teacher lingerie set.

"Don't worry. We got Meg one too. Had to special order a doctor outfit. It's all naughty nurses." Tom folds his arms with outraged. "Can you believe the sexism?"

Kara throws him some serious side eye. She points to a table stocked with food and drinks. "Be a gentleman for once in your life, Tom, and pour my girl Willow a drink."

Tom stays put.

Kara puts her arms on her hips. "Go." She nods to Pete. "You too."

The boys do as they are told. Tom motions for me to follow. I take my time filling a plate with snacks. There's a lot of food here. Fruit, veggies, chips, cakes and cookies, a platter of sushi. I fill up on avocado rolls and watermelon.

Tom's hand brushes against mine. It sends a jolt of electricity straight to my core. My body wakes up with all kinds of demands about where and how it wants him.

"You want a drink?" He holds up a bottle of tequila. "There's only tequila, but the way Kara and Meg moan over their grapefruit and tequilas, you'd think that was the drink called a screaming orgasm."

"No, I'm okay."

"You sure?"

I nod.

He sets the bottle down. "Then I'll hold off."

"You don't have to stay sober for me."

"I know." He runs his fingertips over my lower back as he leans in to whisper. "I have better uses for my mouth."

Oh my.

"Guessing I can't talk you into sneaking upstairs." His fingers brush my ass, over my dress. "You're not wearing panties, are you?"

"I'm not."

He lets out the most delicious groan.

My mind fills with all sorts of beautiful ideas. How is it I'm tempted to sneak upstairs? I shouldn't be this willing to bend to my body's demands. Not when there's so much at stake.

But damn do I want Tom pressed against me, those delicious groans of his filling my ears as he comes.

Fuck, it's hot in here. Black was a poor choice. Even if this dress is the sexiest thing I own. Even if it's what I was wearing that night when Tom and I had sex and the world finally made sense again.

My cheeks flush. But not from Tom's words or his proximity. No. There's this strange feeling in my stomach. Someone is watching. I scan the room. Sure enough, Kara has her eyes on us. She's talking to an older woman in a suit—must be her mom—but she's looking at us.

She raises a brow.

I shrug, denying whatever it is she's accusing me of.

She turns back to her conversation partner and excuses herself gracefully. Shit, she's walking this way.

Tom nods a goodbye and makes himself scarce. As if that will help dampen the flames of suspicion. Oh well, Kara isn't the type to snitch. Even if her loyalty lies with Drew.

She grabs a plate and fills it with grapes. "You and Tom are hanging out a lot."

I pour myself a large glass of fruit juice. "Why does that fascinate everyone?"

"Tom has never hung out with a girl in his life. Besides me or Meg and that's only when the other guys are around."

I shrug. Nothing to see here except a girl in a slinky black dress and fuck me heels drinking her apple juice.

"I'll be with you guys the rest of the tour." She looks me in the eyes. "Meg too."

"That will be fun."

She leans closer. "I'm on your side. Whatever you're doing and whatever you decide. Drew has gotten better with his, ahem, caveman violence. He has good intentions, but he's especially prone to overreacting when it comes to you."

"Yeah."

"I don't think he'd kill Tom, but it could be ugly if it catches him off guard. Do you understand me?"

"Yes." I understand her, and I understand Pete. I understand that I am somehow responsible for Drew's inability to accept that I am an adult woman with desires. "With all due respect, Kara, Drew freaking out over me having consensual sex is not my problem."

Her eyes turn down. "I'm sorry. You're right. I don't have any siblings. I don't really know how much you guys tell each other." She press her lips together. "I worry about Drew. He gets kinda tense dealing with the celebrity thing for three months straight. I know he doesn't want be that guy everyone else is on edge around."

I will myself to stay righteous, but her concern for Drew is touching.

"As a favor to me, be careful. Tell him before someone else does," she says.

That's a fair enough request. "Okay."

Her eyes go to my chest. Huh? Is my brother's girlfriend checking me out? That's totally bizarre.

"You're brave, getting a tattoo on your chest," she says.

Oh. That makes more sense. "Thank you. It felt right, getting it over my heart."

"It looks great." She lowers her voice. "Can I ask you something completely inappropriate?"

I nod.

"How is Tom? I've always wondered."

First Pete, now Kara. At this rate, everyone will know Tom and I are fucking by tomorrow night.

"Sorry. That was rude." She takes a step backwards. "As good as his cockiness would suggest?"

"You know how he plays like a crazy, frantic animal? And he pushes people around like he's a wrecking ball?"

Her eyes fill with interest. She nods go on.

"Nothing like that." I take a long sip of my drink. "He's tender. Attentive. I'm sure some of it is that I... he has to be careful with his new piercing."

"His what?"

I whisper a quick breakdown of Tom's piecing in Kara's ear.

"Holy fuck." Her hand goes to her mouth. "Is that good?"

"Amazing."

"Never would have guessed."

"Never would have guessed what?" Drew steps up to us.

He's wearing a suit and his hair is slicked back. I haven't seen him in a suit since my high school graduation. That was probably the last time my parents, Drew, and I were all in the same room.

"Mmmm." Kara tugs at his suit jacket. "I could get used to you wearing this thing."

"You can't distract me, Kendrick."

She strokes his tie as if to prove how thoroughly she can distract him. It works remarkably well. Within moments, he's panting.

She looks back to me. "Meet us for brunch tomorrow. Around noon. I'll text you the address."

"You staying here, Wil?" Drew barely gets the words out.

Okay. It's a safe enough time to tease him. "No, I'm going to pick up some guy and go back to his place."

"Very funny." He growls.

Kara sucks on his earlobe and the growl turns into a purr.

She releases him and pushes him towards the action. "Excuse us."

He follows her like a puppy following his owner.

God, they're cute. It's remarkable how good she is for him. Drew is a different person around her. Not the sullen, quick to anger loner who avoids everything besides his guitar, but a guy who cares about his friends. I hope she says yes. I can't imagine him ever being okay without her.

My gaze goes to Tom. A college-aged woman, must be one of Kara's friends, gushes at him. She squeezes his arm and my stomach clenches. He's already got my heart. But is he going to smash it or piece it back together?

His eyes catch mine. He motions to the stairs as if to suggest should we? God, am I tempted. I shake my head no anyway and try my best to mingle.

Kara's friends are nice but I'm not really the party type. After a solid hour of introductions and small talk, I find a seat on the couch by myself. It's bright. Sometime in the mid-afternoon. I lean back and soak in the sun. Only so much gets through the windows. Well, Drew wouldn't want me to hold back. I unlock the door to the backyard and step outside.

The small pool shines in a brilliant shade of aqua. I sit down, slide out of my heels, and dip my toes in the water.

Deep breaths do nothing to clear my head. My feelings for Tom already go far beyond like. There's no rush to label things. In theory. We're monogamous. We'll be together, more or less, the rest of the tour. And I can go wherever I want after that. I can even set up a studio in Los Angeles.

There's no reason why I need a label, but I want one. My feelings burn a hole through my gut. He might never love me. When I give him my heart, he might smash it into a million little pieces.

There are footsteps coming towards me. Then Tom's voice.

"Hey, kid. Cooling off?"

"Yeah."

"Drew and Kara left a while ago." He sits next to me and runs a hand through my hair. "I convinced Pete to take a cab back home."

"Oh."

"You want to go out or you want to go back to my place?"

I push myself to a seated position and look Tom in the eyes. All those feelings well up inside me. But I'm not ready to hand over my heart yet. Not right now.

Right now, I'm only giving him my body.

"Depends," I say.

"On?"

"Do you really wear a speedo?"

"Better."

I slide into my shoes and push myself to my feet. "That, I have to see."