What was I thinking?

I didn’t let my inner voice stop me. I stared at Jerrik, who was looking at me blankly, and I wondered why I had bothered to come here at all.

I’d heard, of course, from my fellow staff members of the kind of terror Jerrik was being. I’d come to his scheduled session, hoping the threat of his agent would bring him out, and instead of walking away quietly when I saw he was at least trying to behave, I let him see me and even approached him. And told him things that I probably shouldn’t have. I was getting too involved when all I wanted to do was avoid him like the plague, not get up close and personal with him.

“I don’t believe you, Sharon!” Jerrik said while narrowing his eyes as if he was trying to see through me.

I scowled right back at him, second guessing myself. Why had I wanted to offer this man comfort? He didn’t want it, no matter how badly he needed it. It was true that I understood his pain, to a certain extent. I didn’t have a long line of family members, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t know what it was like in our small town. I had been the subject of gossip during high school and even after we’d left, that didn’t stop them talking.

“You can believe what you want, Jerrik. Someone will be here to help you with your session; you’re a little early,” I said nervously. “So you’ll have to wait. I just wanted to let you know.”

Well, not quite. I had my motives, even though I was confused as to what they were. Also, no one had thought he would just come out. The sessions were part of the package at the retreat for everyone; they were never forced. Jerrik, apparently, needed to go through them, but no one would outright force him to do it, but we did have to insist, his manager had made it an obligation.

I did not need his instructor to find me there when they arrived, so I needed to leave. I wanted to, so I turned to walk away, but then his voice stopped me.

“Leaving so soon, Sharon? But I’ve wanted to talk to you since we first met.”

I turned to give him a light scowl. “You have more important things to think about than talking to me, Jerrik. Isn’t that why you’re here?” I said with a sarcastic tone, so that he would leave me alone.

He scowled for a moment, before willing it away and replacing it with a smile. “I was hoping you’d thought about our last talk and came here to give me an answer.”

My mind had blanked before I realized what he was talking about and I knew that I had to get out of here as quick as possible. The conversation was going in his favor and I didn’t like it.

“You might be a big name now, but that means nothing to me. I work here, and you’re a client, so I wouldn’t even think about giving you a back rub.”

My protests didn’t seem to bother him, because his smile grew wider. He started closing in on the space between us. I saw what he was doing, but I stood right where I was.

“You don’t expect me to think you just came out here as part of your job, do you? You didn’t have to approach me at all. In fact, after our last conversation, I was pretty sure you would be keeping away from me.”

“And I should have,” I retorted, my voice sharp. “I don’t intend to stay here in any case; I have work to do elsewhere.”

“But won’t you at least keep me company for a few minutes? I’ve been so lonely here with no one to talk to. Just humor me for a little bit.”

If his eyes weren’t hooded in desire and roving all over my body, I might have felt a little sorry for him. As it was, I was pretty sure the last thing on his mind was talking.

But even knowing that, even as he drew even nearer to me, I couldn’t turn away from him. The same thing that made me freeze the last time he backed me up against a wall kept me where I was, my heart starting to pound a little faster in my chest.

“You came here for one reason only, Sharon,” he murmured, and the way he said my name had a shiver running through my body. I refused to think too much of it, but he continued, “Do you want to know what that reason is?”

No!

It was what I wanted to say, what I intended to, but when I opened my mouth no sound came out, and Jerrik moved even closer to me. Why wasn’t I doing anything? Why did I just stand there and let him advance on me, instead of getting out of there as quickly as possible.

“You’re not talking, so I’ll tell you anyway,” he said decisively. “It’s because… you want me, Sharon. Plain and simple. And guess what? I’m interested in you too.”

That stilled my distressing thoughts, and my eyes widened slightly in my alarm. The look in his eyes, on his face, looked almost joyful, like he’d just unlocked all my secrets. The words also had me looking him over as well.

He looked good, actually better than when I last saw him. His reputedly unhealthy lifestyle didn’t show on him at all, though that probably just made it easier to hide. With him so close, I could smell some alcohol on his breath, but his eyes were clear, and there was a healthy flush to his cheeks. His body looked firm under the tight T-shirt he wore, and when I realized my eyes had dropped to his chest and where my thoughts were moving, I flushed and looked up at his face with a scowl, stumbling a couple of steps back.

Jerrik looked even happier that I was backing away from him, and that annoyed me a little.

“Of course not, Jerrik,” I said derisively with a snort. “I’m flattered you think me good enough to take to bed, but no thank you. Considering how you’ve been the past two days, very few people here actually want to be around you.”

“And yet you’re here,” he pointed out.

I jutted out my chin in defiance. “Because I decided to come. Because I happen to know you better than anyone else here does, but it was a mistake,” I said, my voice cold. “Don’t worry, I won’t bother you next time. I’ll be leaving now.”

But I didn’t move to leave because I kept my eyes on Jerrik. He still had that happy look on his face, and a flash of anger made me want to hurt him for it. Of course, I wouldn’t. Not only because he was a guest and I was an employee, but that was enough. But I didn’t want to turn away from him, because I knew he would reach out to stop me again, and I didn’t want to feel his touch on me.

Then he moved closer, and I felt my body stiffen before I was stumbling back again. I didn’t realize he was herding me until my back hit the wall and I jumped in surprise. I could have cursed myself because he had tried that trick on me once already and I still fell for it.

“Someone will be coming here soon, Jerrik,” I said in warning. “Whatever you’re trying to do, please stop it.”

He just gave me an innocent look. “I don’t know what you mean, Sharon.”

Before I could move away, he was suddenly there, forearms braced against the wall on either side of me, blocking my way out. I looked up at him with a glare, even as my body shivered because he was so close. His body was larger than mine, though he was only an inch or so taller than me and I couldn’t see beyond him with him so close. I felt a little betrayed by my body, knowing I shouldn’t like having him so close to me. It was dangerous to the life I’d built for myself—he was dangerous to my life here.

I shouldn’t like anything about Jerrik; he was a train wreck waiting to happen even without my involvement.

But when he leaned closer, his head tilting down a little, I didn’t even think to stop him. I should have pushed him away, done something. He probably wouldn’t have gone through with it if I had voiced a refusal, but even as my lips parted, all I did was exhale air and stand still, as though waiting for him.

He didn’t give me long to think and change my mind, and suddenly, I didn’t feel like there was any need. I should have fought against the urge, but I kissed him instead, standing on my tiptoes as I took his face between my hands and touched my mouth to his.

Almost immediately, I felt like my body was on fire.

When was the last time I kissed someone? I couldn’t remember. I also couldn’t remember if it had ever been this good.

His lips pressed against mine, almost softly. And, instead of pushing him away, I pushed into him, pressing the kiss harder so anything even remotely soft was wiped away. His lips moved a little rough against mine, and I couldn’t help a moan as I tilted my head for the right angle, nipping at his lip as he pressed my body back against the wall. I parted my mouth to run my tongue along his lower lip, and he groaned low in his throat, his mouth opening for me, his tongue coming out to tangle with mine.

I wasn’t sure how long the kiss went on for, but it could have been hours, and I might not have noticed. We panted through the kiss, our mouths and tongues pressing together, then we parted, but not for long before we were locked together at the mouth once more. His tongue slid between my teeth to map the inside of my mouth, and I sucked on it with a low moan. He pressed even closer, bringing our hips together, and I bucked a little into him when I felt him hot and hard as he pressed against my abdomen.

Damn, when was the last time I had a guy make me this hot? It felt like it had been too long.

Then it occurred to me that this wasn’t just some guy but Jerrik that I was kissing, and I went cold as realization hit me.

I froze and pressed my palms against his chest, even as he continued to kiss me, and I pushed him back. He was bigger than me, stronger, but the shock was enough to have him stumble back. There was a moment where our eyes locked together, and I gasped. His pupils were blown, his eyes dark with desire and confusion. I could tell, even without him saying it, that he wanted to continue, probably take it back to his room. But I couldn’t.

“I’ll see you later, Jerrik,” I said quickly as my eyes flitted away.

I turned to leave, and that time he didn’t stop me. I felt almost disappointed, before shoving that part of me down, feeling annoyed.

I should have known better.

I should have just stayed away from him.

I knew that the attraction was too strong and that kiss just made it even harder to stay away from him. Holy crap! I was in trouble. Big fucking trouble.