“What kind of car is this?” I ask the man who introduced himself as Soar just a few moments ago.
“1967 Shelby GT500e Super Snake,” he grins as he presses his foot on the gas and sends us flying in his gorgeous white muscle car.
“Holy shit,” I breathe as he soars down the road. I wonder if this is how he got his name, because this car practically floats.
“Got it at an auction, day I turned twenty-one,” he shrugs.
“Why then?” I ask, arching a brow.
“That’s when I got the rights to my inheritance,” he smirks with a wink.
I don’t ask him anymore. Though he’s smiling, it doesn’t seem like he wants to talk about it. The ride is silent for a bit, but then Soar starts to talk.
“Pushing him and trying to force him into someone he isn’t, that won’t get you very far.”
“I don’t know him well enough to try and make him someone he isn’t,” I whisper, looking out of the window.
“Thinking you know enough, Cleo. Maybe you forcing him to open up, maybe that’s pushing him to be someone he isn’t. I don’t know Torch well, but I know he doesn’t talk about anything that’s rolling around in his head,” he says, his wrist resting on the top of his steering wheel; his fingers dangling in that way that only men can do. That move alone amps up his sexiness.
“I don’t think this life, the women and everything, I don’t think I could do it,” I murmur.
“Whatever you decide, you need to talk about what your relationship will look like. What you don’t want to do is promise yourself to him, and he do the same to you, and then turn into a complete stranger right before his eyes. All that’ll get you is a lot of hurt and sleepless nights,” he says. He’s not looking at me. He’s staring straight ahead, and looks as though he’s lost in his own thoughts.
“Need to talk about it?” I ask as he pulls the car into the jewelry store parking lot.
“Nope. It’s all good, baby. Though, you get tired of dealing with Torch’s angry ass, you come on over my way. Think we’d have a good fuckin’ time. Never tried a redhead before,” he grins. My eyes widen in surprise. “Get to work, Cleo, before I decide that Torch is no longer a factor.”
I throw the door open and scramble out of the car, practically falling on my ass. All the while, Soar chuckles behind me.
“Hey, babe,” he calls out as I take my first step away from the car. I turn to face him, my hand on the door ready to close it behind me. “What time you get off tonight?”
“I’m staying here in town,” I whisper.
“He is not going to be cool with that,” Soar murmurs.
“I don’t really care what he’s cool with today,” I state.
“Fire. Fuck, baby, get going,” he rumbles.
I close the door and practically sprint into the building. Lisandro is standing behind the counter as soon as I walk inside of the store. His eyes widen and he stares at me for a moment before he drops what he’s doing and runs over to me, wrapping his strong, warm arms around me and holding me tightly.
“I almost chopped Theo’s dick off for letting you go with him. I had no way to contact you, sweetie pie,” he whispers, his voice thick.
“I’m here, and I’m not going back,” I murmur.
Lis moves his hands to my shoulders and straightens his arms. Taking a step back, he looks down at me. I lower my eyes under his intense perusal of my face, and then his fingers tighten on my shoulders.
“You had sex with him. What did he do to you?” he practically growls.
“Nothing, it’s fine. I’m just not going back,” I state.
“It’s not fine,” he shrieks dropping his hands from my arms.
“We had sex. It was better than I ever remembered, but I’m not doing it again—ever,” I say as I turn from him and walk behind the counter to stow my purse.
“What do you mean, you aren’t doing it again? If it was better than anything else, you definitely need to knock on that door again,” he says.
“Lis,” I sigh as I stand and straighten my skirt. “His club has whores—whores specifically for them to use. It’s their job to screw the members,” I say, scrunching my nose. “And he was drunk before I left to come to work sitting right next to one.”
“Clee,” Lisandro says. His voice is full of pity for me, something I’m used to from him. It doesn’t make me hate it any less.
“It’s fine. Seriously, it is. I’m going to finally get the divorce paperwork handled that I keep avoiding, now that I know where he is; and then I’m moving on with my life. I have the closure I needed. He’s a dick, and I never really knew him. All of this, it was good for me,” I babble.
“Sure it was, sweetie pie,” he murmurs.
“Seriously, it was great. I’m going to be just fine,” I say, giving him my fakest, shakiest, wide smile.
“All right, now tell me about this huge sale you had over the weekend,” he says, trying to change the subject.
My fake smile falls and tears fill my eyes.
“What?” he asks, sounding horrified.
“It was his president and his beautiful fiancée,” I blubber as I bury my face in my hands and let my tears fall.
“Good lord, those people are everywhere,” he snaps. I wonder why he’s mad at me, but then I turn around and see the man I was just referencing walking up to the doors.
“That’s him, the president,” I whisper.
“Damn, he’s hot—but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, can’t they just leave you alone for a hot damn minute?” he asks. I can’t help the giggle that escapes.
“Sorry to bother you at work, Cleo, but I was wondering if I could have a chat?” Maxfield asks. I turn to face him, watching as his eyes search my face. A look of concern crosses his features.
“Sure,” I shrug.
“Wanna talk outside?” he asks as his eyes flit from me to Lis.
“No, Lisandro knows everything,” I inform. Maxfield lets out a breath before he speaks.
“Know you left the clubhouse to come here. Soar didn’t answer his phone, probably because that car of his is so fuckin’ loud you can’t even hear yourself think. Anyway, shit is goin’ down soon in New York with The Cartel. Don’t know if that’ll affect us here, but we have to stay sharp and aware. You’re supposed to have a brother on you at all times. Torch didn’t set that up for today; don’t know why, but I’ve called a prospect to hang around the building. You need anything, you just ask him. Don’t want you leaving without him. He’ll give you a lift back to the club when you’re done with your shift,” he explains.
“Torch didn’t set it up being he’s drinking tequila and probably fucking one of those whores you have down there. He’s not worried about me, so why are you? And don’t worry about a ride back. I’m not going back,” I say, smarting off, though Maxfield hasn’t done a thing to earn my crappy attitude.
“Protecting you, babe—not for any other reason than you’re still Torch’s wife, which makes you a member of the family and deserving of our protection. You don’t want to go back, that’s cool, but the prospects will just do a shift change and they’ll hang outside of your house, wherever you’re stayin’,” he explains gently, side-stepping the whore part of my response.
“Okay, thank you,” I whisper shakily.
He takes a step toward me and wraps his big hand around the side of my neck. I look up at him, and he gives me a squeeze before he grins, his blue eyes staring down at me. He’s so handsome, I can understand how he totally landed a younger woman.
“You get yourself sorted, then you get him sorted. He switched clubs, came from his home in Idaho to watch after you. Regardless of how that’s playing out right now, how stupid he’s bein’, or how stubborn the both of you are bein’, know that he changed his entire life to protect you, and that’s something pretty fuckin’ amazing,” he murmurs.
“Oh,” I say, unable to speak another word, my lips frozen in an O shape.
“Now, I gotta go. My woman and I are gettin’ married this weekend. You feel like you want to come to a party, meet all the women and see the real families that make up the club? Not just the whores and drunken parties, but a real family party, you’re more than welcome to come on down,” he smiles before he releases his hand from my neck, turns and walks out of the front door.
“How old do you think he is?” Lisandro whispers.
“I think he’s close to sixty,” I announce.
“Hot damn, he’s got a great fucking ass. Theo better look that good when he’s older,” Lis sighs.
“Lisandro,” I say, completely exasperated.
“So, take the protection,” Lis rolls his eyes, “but don’t spread those thighs unless he grovels. Although I would feel better if you just came home to us,” he says. I can feel his eyes boring into me from beside me.
“Yeah, I’m not spreading anything,” I mumble, looking down at my feet. “I just don’t want to put you guys in danger.”
“I understand, but you know we’d protect you. As long as you’re going with him, I think there could be some spreading, especially if he’s as good as you say he is.”
“He is,” I admit.
“You deserve some good orgasms,” he nods. “Just don’t give him your heart. I have a feeling he’d completely crush it all over again.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. I don’t tell him that there’s no use. Paxton’s had my heart, and I don’t think I’ll ever get it back.
The rest of the day is pretty calm, and nothing too crazy happens. The protection Maxfield sent shows up thirty minutes after he leaves, and I see him a few times, walking past the front of the store. He never comes inside, and he doesn’t bother me at all, which I appreciate.
“Ready to head home?” Lis asks once we count our cash drawers and go through the shutdown procedure for the day.
“Yeah,” I sigh as I grab my purse from beneath the counter.
Once we’re outside and Lisandro is locking up, I notice the prospect across the street. I give him a small wave and he just lifts his chin as he straddles his bike, his eyes zeroed in on us.
“They’re all so pretty. Nothing like I imagined,” Lis sighs as we walk toward his black Jeep.
“Yeah, well, I’ve seen more than I want to of some of them,” I say, giving an over exaggerated shiver.
“Don’t tease me, bitch,” he scolds, making me laugh.
It doesn’t take us long to drive to Lis and Theo’s house, and I’m grateful to be there. Though I don’t have anything to wear to bed or to work tomorrow, since the only things I have are the clothes on my back and some casual clothes that I’d left, nothing appropriate to wear to the shop. At this point, I’m so emotionally exhausted I don’t even care.
“Well, this is a surprise,” Theo says as we walk through the door, the motorcycle that followed us idling in front of the house.
“She’s back,” Lis says with a flourish. “For now.”
“For always,” I state. He grins with a shake of his head.
“What?”
“He had a taste of you. He liked what he had back then, and if I’m to guess, he likes it even more now. He won’t just let this go,” Lisandro mutters.
“He liked it so much he was drunk and cuddled up next to another woman almost immediately after?”
“You’ve explained that fight and, sweetie pie, nowhere in it did he say he didn’t want you. If you think he won’t be knocking down our door as soon as he sobers up, you’re living in a dreamland,” Lisandro says, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at me.
“Is my self-esteem that low, Lis?” I ask after we’ve had dinner. We’ve since cleaned up, and I’m settling into bed for the evening.
“Clee,” he sighs, refusing to look at me.
“Lisandro.”
“Yes, fuck. Emotionally, relationship wise at least, you’re stunted. I understand it, I really do. Your parents were shit, then they died; your Gram loved you, but then she died; and then Paxton did what he did and abandoned you. You’ve got issues, Clee. He just wants you to be fixed overnight because he’s a guy and he doesn’t get why you aren’t more confident. You’re absolutely gorgeous. Is he what you want, though? Or is it just sex?”
I stare at my best friend in shock. The way he’s let his words flow makes me realize that he’s thought of this before, he’s just never said it to me. This isn’t a new concept to him, and I don’t know if I’m glad he’s never told me or pissed off because he hasn’t.
“I don’t know,” I admit.
“I want you to be happy, if he’s what you want, then I want you to have him. If he’s just sex, then have that and move on—but take what you want, sweetie pie. You deserve whatever makes you happy, whatever that looks like,” he mutters, “Now, get some sleep.”
“I’m nothing special,” I whisper.
“That’s where you’re dead fucking wrong,” he states as he stands. “You’re gorgeous. You have a body most women would kill for, and it’s effortless, which even pisses me off. Then there’s your demeanor. You’re sweet, and it’s not an act—you just are a sweet person. The only thing you lack is confidence. Maybe that’s something Paxton can pull out of you; or if you’re really done with him, maybe it’s a gift for the next man who finds his way into your sweet heart,” he says. Without another word, he leaves me alone in my room.
I stare at the closed door, then I lay down and stare at the ceiling. I let Lisandro’s words, along with Paxton’s from earlier today, roll around in my head. It’s true. I have zero self-esteem.
I don’t see this woman he’s described in the mirror when I look at myself. I see me—redheaded Cleo. Nobody special or even extremely pretty. I’m average, in all ways, including body shape.
I don’t think I’m dog ugly or anything, but I don’t feel extra-spectacular, either. I let out a breath and roll to my side to stare at the wall. At this rate, with the way my head is spinning, I’m never going to get to sleep.
After I go to bed, sleep, and sober up a bit, I decide to head downstairs. It’s early in the evening but I’m not drinking anymore today. I could use some food and water, though. Showered and dressed in clean clothes, I run my hand through my damp hair as I walk into the kitchen.
Soar is standing with his ass leaning against the counter as I walk into the room. I see red just looking at his smug ass face, but I refuse to say anything to him. I choose to walk over to the fridge to grab a water, instead.
“She’s not coming back,” he announces. My head shoots up from inside the open fridge.
“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?” I bark.
“Cleo, she’s not coming back. She’s staying in Redding with her friends,” he shrugs.
“No, she’s not,” I grind out.
“Yeah, she fuckin’ is,” MadDog says as he walks into the room. I slam the fridge closed and turn to look at him, surprised that he even knows any of this shit. “You let her go to work, an hour away, with zero protection. You didn’t even fucking drive her because you were drunk off your ass hanging around some whore. Soar called me, and I drove all the way there to talk to her. I set up prospects to keep an eye on her, twenty-four seven, using resources I don’t really have to cover your woman.”
I slept all day long while this was going on. When Cleo should be on her way back here to me, she’s at her friends. Fuck. I don’t have anything to say, mainly because he’s right. I let her walk out of the clubhouse without a second thought, except that I was pissed she went off with Soar. I let my personal shit with her outweigh the whole reason I even had her here—for protection.
“You need to get your shit in order, brother. I allowed you to come here because you said you needed to be near her. You aren’t showing me you give much of a shit. She’s your wife on paper, but do you really give a fuck what happens to her? I’ll keep protecting her because she has your last name and she seems like a sweet girl, but you gotta get your head outta your ass,” he barks before he turns and walks away, leaving me alone with Soar.
Stepping back, I let my head hit the wall behind me and close my eyes. Goddammit, I’m a fuck up. I thought I was finally ready for more, for Cleo, and to slay the demons inside of me instead of drowning them in booze and pussy.
“She has fire, your little redheaded beauty. Better grab ahold of her and hold on tight before someone else see’s that fire and wants a piece of her,” Soar warns.
I lift my head, my eyes connecting with his and narrowing. I know exactly what he’s saying because I made the same kind of threats to Sniper when he was being an ass to his wife Brentlee. Except, I was in a position to have an Old Lady; Soar is not.
“Is that a threat?” I ask
“More of an observation,” he shrugs before he walks away.
“You make any more observations like that and, brother or not, we’re goin’ fisticuffs out in the parking lot,” I growl.
“Better get your shit handled then, brother,” he states.
“Fuck,” I shout.