CHAPTER SIX
Smoke
I FELT LIKE she’d kicked me straight in the balls. The pain was so bright, so raw. I acted on instinct, taking her by her forearms and spinning her around, pushing her up against the brick wall of the building next to us and holding her there.
‘You’d really say that to me?’ I couldn’t keep the pain out of my voice. ‘Fuck you, Cat. I knew that kid before she was born. I spent more time with her than Justin did. Hell, I’m more a father to her than he ever fucking was. So don’t you dare tell me I don’t get a say!’
Her eyes had gone very wide, the green in them darkening as she stared at me in shock. Like she saw a stranger standing there instead of me.
Like Justin maybe? Have you got more of your old man in you than you thought?
I went cold. No way. No fucking way.
Letting her go, I stepped back and turned away, trying to get a goddamn grip.
I knew Cat was angry—and yeah, putting that asshole boss of hers in his place and getting her fired hadn’t been my best move. But Annie was a daughter to me in so many ways that it hurt to be told I had no right to help her.
So Cat had issues with the club. After what her old man had put her and her mom through, I couldn’t blame her. But the Knights were different from the MC her dad had been in, and I sure as hell wasn’t him.
You’re just pissed she didn’t fall gratefully into your arms when you told her your idea.
Couldn’t deny it—there was a part of me that wanted that badly. That hoped she’d put her arms around me, tell me that being my old lady was what she’d been dreaming about all her life.
Yeah, I was fucking toast for her, and the fact that she hadn’t done any of that only added to the pain.
‘Smoke?’
Cat’s voice was behind me—not so angry this time, more uncertain.
I didn’t reply, not trusting myself not to say something stupid and make things worse.
There was a feather-light touch on my back, brief and over far too fast.
‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You do get a say. I’m just... You know I don’t like the club and you know why. And this whole situation with Annie is scaring the shit out of me.’
Typical Cat. She blew up like a volcano when she was scared.
My normal thing would have been to turn around and give her a hug, tell her she didn’t need to be afraid, that all she needed to do was trust me. But she’d got me where it hurt and I was still pissed.
You know what you want to do.
Yeah, I totally did. I wanted her to get down on her knees and apologise the old-fashioned way. With my dick in her mouth.
Another light pressure on my back and this time it was staying there.
‘Smoke? Please. I didn’t mean it. You know I didn’t.’
But that was the thing. I didn’t know. Because she was right. Annie wasn’t my kid. Either Cat or that asshole Justin could take her away and there would be nothing I could do about it.
The light pressure increased as her palm settled between my shoulder blades.
‘I wish you were her father. You’re a damn sight better dad than Justin ever was.’
If I had been Annie’s father, we wouldn’t be standing here right now. I’d be at Cat’s place and Cat would be naked under me.
Something hardened in me at the thought, and for once it wasn’t my damn dick.
This was going to happen. Cat was going to be my old lady, and I didn’t care if she didn’t want to be or not. She was a grown woman and she could make her own decisions, sure, but Annie was still a kid and she needed protection. Which meant if Cat was going to let her own issues get in the way of helping her kid, I was going to call bullshit on them.
I turned around, the warmth of her hand lingering between my shoulder blades, making me ache. But I kept my expression hard.
She stared at me uncertainly, looking so fucking hot in the tight green Lucky’s T-shirt she always wore to work. The one that clung to her tits and made me want to gather them in my hands, feel the weight of them against my palms, stroke her nipples through the fabric and watch them get hard.
Maybe you should do that. See what happens.
Fuck, that voice in my head was playing devil’s advocate. I shouldn’t listen to it.
‘It’s going to happen, Cat,’ I said aloud. ‘I’m not standing by and letting that prick get his hands on you or Annie—not again. Understand me?’
Her expression closed up, her pouty mouth flattening. ‘I don’t—’
‘What?’ I interrupted, folding my arms. ‘You got a better idea?’
The look on her face became guarded, wary, and I knew why. She wasn’t seeing me as a friend right now. She was seeing me as a hard-ass biker putting pressure on her.
Maybe that was for the best, though. Maybe she’d been seeing me as a friend for far too long.
‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘I don’t.’
‘Then it’s on. I’ll take you as my old lady and if Justin comes after Annie again, he’ll have the whole fucking club to deal with.’
Her throat moved as she swallowed, and I watched it, wanting my hand on it. Wanting to feel her pulse beneath my palm. Wanting to feel it get faster as I leaned in to take her mouth.
Christ, I was losing it. And there was a part of me that didn’t give a shit. As if it had been waiting for this opportunity all this time—this chance to take her like I’d always wanted to. But I couldn’t listen to that part of myself.
Cat had been burned—and burned very badly—and getting physical with her just because my dick was getting impatient would be a mistake.
She looked away, as if she knew exactly the kind of thoughts that had been sitting in my head, and there was a long silence.
Then she said, ‘I’m not moving into that clubhouse with you and neither is Annie—okay?’
I let out a slow, silent breath. She was going for it. She was fucking going for it. But I didn’t relax, holding her wary gaze with mine. I wanted to hear her say the word out loud.
‘Was that a yes, kitten?’
Irritation flashed in her gaze. ‘Christ, Smoke, I’m not going to—’
‘Say it.’ I hadn’t meant it to sound like an order, but it came out as one all the same.
I saw something spark in those big green eyes—a reaction I was positive she hadn’t meant me to see. A gleam of heat.
‘Fuck. Okay.’ Her voice was all irritation and impatience. ‘I’ll be your old lady. Satisfied?’
No, I wasn’t satisfied. And I wouldn’t be until she was mine in every way that counted. I always thought she didn’t feel that way about me, but there had been a number of signs over the past couple of days that had made me wonder...
A thrill shot down my spine. The kind of thrill I hadn’t felt for years.
‘It’ll do.’ I made sure to let none of that show in my voice, because frightening her off now would be a real bad move.
‘But it’s not for real,’ she insisted. ‘We’re just doing this to protect Annie. Once Justin gets the message and backs off everything goes back to normal.’
Sure it would go back to normal.
Like hell.
Because I had a feeling that once I had Cat where I wanted her, wearing my property patch, I wasn’t going to be able to let her go.
‘It may not be for real to us.’ I held her gaze. ‘But it’ll have to look real to convince Keep and the others.’
‘Oh. But I thought...’ She trailed off, frowning.
‘He told me he wouldn’t protect you as things stand. So I asked him outright if he would if you were mine, and he said yes.’
I paused, wanting to make sure she understood exactly what I was going to ask from her.
‘If Justin makes a move and the club has to respond, it’s going to put us at risk with the police. And Keep won’t want to do that if he thinks you’re faking it. In fact if he realises that, he’s going to be pissed.’
He wouldn’t just be pissed; he’d be furious. And I’d seen him furious. If I hadn’t done my old man in, Keep would have, and it wasn’t anything I wanted directed at either me or Cat.
Her frown deepened. ‘So we have to pretend it’s real? Is that what you’re saying?’
‘Yeah. He’ll remember the conversation I had with him and he’ll be suspicious, no question. We’ll have to convince him we’re the real deal.’
Cat dropped her attention to the pavement, studying it like it was the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen. And...was she blushing?
She’d done that a couple of nights earlier, avoiding my gaze, staring at anything other than me. Then there had been her weirdness about discussing that blow job and her furious denial that she’d been checking me out.
The electric thrill intensified.
I knew when a woman wanted me.
I knew when a woman wanted me and didn’t want me to know.
Cat definitely didn’t want me to know.
Fucking finally. After all these years...
Triumph surged like gas down a fuel line, lighting me right up.
She wanted me. She really did.
I couldn’t help myself. I reached out, took her chin in my hand and tipped her head back, forcing her gaze to mine. Her eyes were dark and shocked, the green lost in the night.
‘Is that going to be a problem?’ I asked roughly.
She’d gone very still. Even in the dim light of the street I could see the fire in her cheeks and the quick beat of her pulse at the base of her throat.
The space between us had got thick, like the air before a thunderstorm.
I could hear my own heartbeat, loud and heavy in my head.
‘I don’t know...’ She stopped. ‘I mean, I don’t...’ She stopped again and cleared her throat. ‘What exactly are you saying, Smoke?’
Her skin was soft under my fingers and I wanted to stroke her with my thumb, run it along the line of her lower lip, test how soft that felt, too.
‘What do you think? We have to act like a real couple—know what I’m saying?’
She blinked, her attention dropping to my mouth. And staying there.
Holy fucking shit.
I was getting hard now, and my instinct was to push her against the brick wall and fuck us both into oblivion. But hard and fast up against a wall wasn’t the way I wanted to do it—not with her and not after so many years.
No, I was going to take my time, make it last. Make her scream. Make her beg for me the way I would have begged for her if she’d only asked.
Maybe she could see that in my eyes, because she jerked her chin out of my grip, giving an abrupt, nervous-sounding laugh.
‘That better not include sleeping with you, because you know that’s not going to happen.’ She was trying to make it sound like a joke and failing miserably.
For a second I debated asking her whether she was sure about that, but I kept my mouth shut. No point scaring her off before we’d even got started.
Still. I wasn’t going to let this moment go—not yet.
‘No,’ I lied through my teeth. ‘You’re going to have to be comfortable with me touching you, though.’
She shifted on her feet, her Converses making scraping sounds on the pavement. Yeah, she was nervous, all right.
‘Touching me how?’
I should have stopped right then. I should have let her go, turned around and taken her home.
But I didn’t.
The devil had me in his grip and I wanted to keep pushing, to make her even more nervous. Because I’d been hanging out for her for years and now it was my turn to make her sweat.
I kept my posture loose and easy. Nothing threatening. Nothing that would scare her. But I held that green gaze of hers and let the hunger show.
‘Come here and I’ll show you.’