Chapter Fourteen
Sleepless Nights Never Change A Thing
Jordan tossed and turned in the creaky sofa bed. He could hear Charlotte’s soft breathing from only a few feet away. At least she didn’t seem to have any trouble sleeping. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. The way she dealt with his father: not arguing but not giving any quarter either, when it would have been much easier just to let him believe she agreed. The way she looked at him for comfort. The way her hair fell into her face when she was flustered. He wanted to hold it back at the nape of her neck and kiss her.
He shook his head to get rid of the wayward thoughts. What was wrong with him? He’d almost kissed her on the bed, yesterday. The bed right next to him that she was currently sleeping in. So close.
This was insane. The whole point was not to get entangled. He didn’t need emotional mess. He needed to focus on the business. He certainly did not need to be worrying about someone else and having to make compromises and... one day, sure, maybe, if he met the right person. But some escort who Buddy had seen naked—he didn’t think he would ever get over that—was not the right person, however amazing she appeared to be. Besides, she was completely money motivated. She was fun but he wasn’t a fool. Sure, she jumped on the bed with him and yes, it was fun. But she wasn’t doing this because he was special. What mattered to her was that he was a billionaire who could pay her way through the rest of her life.
He should have learned his lesson with Lauren: he’d already proven just how bad he was at judging women. And the one thing his father was right about—he needed to focus on the business. One day, maybe. When you are your father’s age, whispered a treacherous voice in his mind, and women like Lauren expect money and presents in return for even being with you.
His mind drifted back to Charlotte. Charlotte who hadn’t asked for anything. He rolled over again, punching his pillow. He was literally paying her to be here with him. She hadn’t asked for anything else, which was nice, but she was being paid in cold hard cash for spending the weekend with him. No matter how he dressed that up, it still came down to the same old thing. Pay to play. He wasn’t going to fall for a woman like that. Not again.
As the dawn light lit the edges around the curtain, he gave up on the idea of sleeping. The vision of her stretching and waking gently as the morning light filtered into the room filled his mind. His body throbbed just at being near her. He would go for a run and be back before Charlotte got up. Anything had to be better than lying here trying not to think about her. He groaned and crept round the room to gather his things. He needed to get out of here before he did something he regretted.
What he really regretted was popping into the kitchen before heading out on the street. Lauren was waiting there, wearing skin-tight white jeans and lacy white top which covered her neck and her arms to her wrists but left a large circle for her cleavage to peek through. She held a glass of something in her hand which he sure hoped was water.
“I couldn’t sleep either,” she said. She smiled at him. Her smiles always served as a reminder of how completely mercenary a woman could be if she was desperate. Lauren had gotten what she wanted: marriage to a rich man and with all the trappings and luxury that came with it. But she still wasn’t happy. A small part of Jordan was pleased, even though he knew it was petty.
“I’m just going for a run,” he said, stifling a yawn. “I’ll see you later.”
“You know I wanted to be with you,” she said, as if he hadn’t spoken. “But you wouldn’t commit. A woman wants to be the most important thing in her man’s life and it was very clear I’d never be the most important thing in yours.”
Jordan wanted to just dismiss her but it was the closest thing to an actual conversation that they’d had since the breakup. And besides, she was right. She used to phone him all the time, not caring if he was in meetings or at a conference, just wanting him to talk to her. To tell her that he missed her. Maybe he was defective, simply missing some part of perfect-boyfriend-ness that was natural to other people.
“I’m sorry, Lauren. I know things didn’t work out the way you had hoped for.”
He pushed the button on the espresso machine and for a moment the grinding sound filled the kitchen, making conversation impossible.
It was the business, mainly. It was the most important thing to him. He couldn’t afford for anyone to distract him from proving to his father that business could be fair. That you could make a success of it by treating people as equals. George’s management style was brusque and staff turnover was constant. His decisions were rash and damn-the-consequences. He took short cuts and stepped on anyone who stood in his way, relying on the good old boys’ network to keep him afloat.
Jordan wasn’t like that and he was desperate to prove it wasn’t necessary. But he couldn’t if he was distracted by some woman who needed coddling and made to feel important. He had no time to babysit some woman who was looking to him to provide her financial and emotional security.
Lauren had taught him an important lesson. Yes, she was probably right that it was all his fault she was unhappy. Really, he owed her. Because she had shown him that he needed to make a decision rather than let things drift on.
“I know, I’m completely unsuited to romance,” he told her. “I wish I’d realized sooner rather than leave you hanging.”
“Well, you’ve found someone now.” Her eyes flashed. “I noticed her clothes are all new, did you buy them?”
He shook his head no but she just laughed. “I’m not blaming you, you know. You’ve found someone who will put up with anything in return for financial security. I guess I was just too independent. She’s pretty enough. And I can’t see you are going to manage anything better.” She sniffed.
Then she leaned forward, close enough that her perfume enveloped him. “But if you get bored and want someone who will give you a run for your money, well, you know where I am. We’re two of a kind, you and I. We both have found partners that supply what we need. That doesn’t mean we have to give up all desires.”
He turned on his heel and walked out on her, ignoring her laughter behind him. Christ, that woman. Every time he gave her an inch, she took a mile. He should have learned by now that she’d never change.
Charlotte wasn’t like that. It wasn’t true. She wasn’t mercenary, willing to put up with anything for money.
And then the rest of his brain caught up to him. Charlotte was here because he was paying her to be here. He could tell whatever lies he wanted about how she was different but the fact was, she was more mercenary than all of his exes put together.
And he wasn’t such a fool as to fall for someone who straight out admitted she was only there for the money.
The only thing she had going for her was that she was honest about it.