I waited for Ryker and when I saw his car, I backed out and followed him to his house.
As I drove, I thought about how I really didn’t know him at all. He’d been so fun this week with the kids, had seemed to lighten up so much, and then tonight happened. He’d won his match but obviously hadn’t been happy about it. Since I’d never watched him wrestle before, maybe in his mind he felt he’d performed poorly and was pissed about it even though I thought he’d done great. I know I was always in a bad mood after a game when I hadn’t played well and didn’t want to talk about it for a while but I never took my anger out on anyone. Maybe it was a guy thing, aka, ego thing and he was embarrassed that I’d seen him on a bad night.
Lots of questions to be answered.
When we got to his neighborhood, I’d decided that tonight would either make or break us and the truth finally needed to be told. I had to know where things were going with us and if we couldn’t work through this together, there was no need to continue.
And I was completely terrified.
At his house he pulled into the drive next to the blue truck I’d hidden behind the day I went to ask him out and saw him with VW Bug girl. I parked on the street and watched him jog to me as soon as he got out of his car, meeting me at my door.
“Hey,” he said, taking my hand and walking toward the house. He brought my hand to his mouth kissing the back of it, keeping it at his mouth as we went.
I was still in my head about everything and didn’t respond.
Once inside the house, I heard a guy holler from the kitchen, “Nice job, bro! Crawford’s no longer undefeated!”
“Yeah,” Ryker answered as he took my coat and hung it on the coat rack. He looked down at me. “I’m gonna go take a shower.” At my alarmed expression, you know, at the fact that he was going to leave me alone with whoever was in the kitchen, he explained. “It’s just Loch. Lemme get you a beer while you wait. Okay?”
Crap. This whole night was just shit. But trying to be a good sport I whispered, “Okay,” and followed him into the kitchen sitting on the barstool he pulled out for me.
“Hey, Frankie!” Loch turned and said from where he stood at the stove cooking something.
“Hi,” I answered with a smile.
“Here.” Ryker handed me a beer bottle. “I’ll be back.” He leaned down and gave me a sweet kiss then left the room.
“So, I’m making a chicken quesadilla. You want one?” Loch asked.
“No, thanks. I already ate dinner.”
He shrugged. “I’ve got plenty of stuff. I’m making Ryke one too ‘cause he’s always starving after matches.”
“That’s okay. But I can help if you want me to,” I said, getting off the stool.
“Definitely. There’s a green pepper and onion in the fridge if you don’t mind getting them out. Cutting board’s over there,” he nodded his head to the right. “Knives are in the block.”
I opened the refrigerator and found the vegetables then after washing them in the sink, went to the cutting board to chop.
“What’d you think of the match?” Loch questioned.
I shrugged. “I didn’t understand the scoring much.”
“Yeah, you kinda have to know what’s going on to get it. Ryke can explain it, though.”
I huffed out a humorless laugh. “Already tried that approach and got yelled at,” I murmured mostly to myself.
“Hey,” Loch called. When I looked over at him, he stated, “He’s always in a bad mood after a close match. To be honest, I didn’t think he’d win this one. That Crawford guy’s a beast.” He turned back to the skillet and flipped the quesadilla. “I wrestled a couple years in high school and it takes a lot out of you. Most of the time you’re physically and mentally wasted. Not getting to eat what you want, hungry all the fuckin’ time. It definitely takes a toll. That’s why I cut him slack most of the time.”
“I know it’s a tough sport. Probably the toughest, actually,” I agreed, cutting up the last of the onion. I carried the cutting board over and set it on the counter next to him. “All done. Anything else?”
“Nope. I’ve got the other stuff here, thanks.”
I walked to the bar and picked up my beer and went back and leaned a hip on the counter near Loch. “So, he’s always in a bad mood after?”
“Not always. Just depends if he won and sometimes how he won. He’s just very hard on himself.” He thought for a second and looked at me. “Why? Was he a dick tonight?” I shrugged before taking a drink. “I know this is gonna sound strange, but he’s got an agenda. And when he strays from it, he tends to get a little pissy.” At my questioning look, he said, “Since he’s not a big sharer, I’m not sure he’ll explain it to you. But you gotta know, Ryker sees things as black or white. There’s no gray area. And once he’s focused on something, he’s gonna get it no matter what or die trying.”
“Oh.” Was I on his agenda? If not, was I going to get in the way?
Loch used the spatula to place the quesadilla on a plate then used a pizza cutter to cut it into slices. Next he sprayed PAM on the skillet and placed another tortilla in it then added the chicken, veggies and cheese and covered it all with another tortilla.
“But he’s pretty simple to figure out. That’s what I was trying to say at the party the other night.” He turned to me. “You’re in his sights, he wants you, he’s gonna make it happen.” He winked at me and turned back to the stove, flipping the tortillas.
“What if I don’t want it to happen?”
He snorted. “Another thing I tried telling you at the party? He’s mentioned you a couple times and he never talks about women to anyone. Ever. Also, he hasn’t seen anyone else for going on three weeks now. Isn’t that about the time you guys met?”
“I believe so,” I answered. Well, that was at least some good news.
“What I’m saying is, if you don’t want it to happen, you need to let him know because he won’t stop until he’s got you.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“Has he always been this intense?”
He chuckled. “Pretty much. When we were little, maybe about nine and ten, our dad started teaching us about car engines. Dad’s a mechanic and owns a garage with our uncle. Anyway, Dad had a disassembled car engine in our garage at home that he showed us one Saturday morning and told us to put it back together. There was one of those big tool chests in there and Dad said to have at it. I laughed and ran off to play, but Ryker spent the entire day putting the engine back together, skipping lunch and dinner until Dad finally had to go out and get him at, like, eleven o’clock that night. Dad said when he went in the garage Ryker was just screwing in the oil filter adaptor which is the last part. So you see what I mean?”
I nodded. That was pretty intense especially for a ten year old.
“I mean, he’s a good guy and likes to have fun too, but ever since… well, since the end of his freshman year at Hallervan, he’s stayed pretty focused. He’s set a goal for himself and he’s intent on reaching it. I think his collegiate record now is something like one-hundred-fifteen wins and twenty-four losses which is definitely badass. Most of those losses came his freshman year when he was competing against seniors. His goal is to go undefeated this year.”
“What kinda shit are you feeding her?” Ryker remarked as he walked into the kitchen wearing a gray Hallervan t-shirt and jeans. He was barefooted and his hair was still wet and he looked good enough to eat. Dang. He stopped at the fridge and pulled out a beer for himself raising an eyebrow at me to see if I wanted another. I shook my head so he closed the door then came to stand by me kissing me on the forehead when he got there. Now this was the Ryker I’d fallen for and I felt myself beginning to relax a tiny bit. He twisted the cap off his beer, throwing it in the trash and took a swig before pointing the bottle at the pan Loch was using. “That for me?”
“The one on the plate is,” Loch told him jerking his head toward the already-cooked quesadilla.
“Thanks,” Ryker said, picking up the plate. He first offered me a piece which I turned down and I swear, in less than a minute, he’d eaten the whole thing.
“Jesus. Hold out your fuckin’ plate,” Loch said, annoyed. When Ryker did as told, Loch put the second quesadilla on it. “See how spoiled he is?” Loch commented to me.
Ryker smirked then tore pieces off the thing and stuffed them in his mouth one by one, finishing the entire thing in about the same amount of time as he had the first one. Jeez.
“You think that’s why you’re in a bad mood because you’re hungry?” I blurted without thinking.
Loch barked out a laugh. “That’s what my girlfriend says.” He looked at his brother. “They don’t realize how much you do eat, which is a shit ton, so what is your reason for being an asshole tonight?”
I choked on my beer knowing Ryker probably thought I’d complained to Loch about how he’d behaved, which I had in a roundabout way, which didn’t count, right?
Ryker put his plate in the dishwasher as he asked, “Really wanna know?”
I did. Yes, I really wanted to know.
I saw him look at Loch with a smirk because he was probably going to say something smartassed but then he glanced at me and I saw his expression turn serious. “I probably should’ve lost that match.”
“Why?” Loch inquired.
Ryker’s mood had soured right before my very eyes but he took in a breath and blew it out before explaining. “The last point came down to riding time. The timekeeper had me at a minute twenty five and Crawford at twenty-two seconds. Crawford’s coach argued that their scorekeeper had him at twenty-seven which would’ve negated the point given.” He shrugged a shoulder, an annoyed look on his face. “So according to them, we should’ve gone into overtime. That would’ve happened, I would’ve lost for sure. I was tired and he had me on the ropes.”
Although I was so happy that he’d opened up and been truthful, I frowned. “So what?” He turned his head to me, his expression bordering on pissed off. “The official timekeeper said you won the point. Who cares what that coach said? Of course he’s gonna fight for his player and say the time was wrong. According to the books, it wasn’t. Accept it and move on.”
I’d watched Ryker’s expression turn soft as I talked. Good. He got it.
He looked at Loch. “Now you know why I keep her around.”
I rolled my eyes at Loch who was grinning. Then I let out a yelp when Ryker scooped me up and carried me bridal style out of the kitchen.
“I’ll be at Simone’s tonight,” Loch yelled after us.
“Good!” Ryker hollered back. He looked at me as he opened his bedroom door. “That means you can be as loud as you want tonight.”
He laughed when I smacked him in the chest after he set me down. He cradled my face in his hands before saying, “God, I really like you.” Then he gave me a knee-buckling kiss.
Well, it was official. I was the idiot in love with someone who really liked me. Yay.
When he started to pull my shirt over my head, I stopped him. “We need to have that talk, Ryker. And I want to know about these rules of yours.”
I saw his jaw muscles jump as he looked down at me. “You wanna talk. Now.”
I nodded as I sat on his bed, patting the spot next to me for him to sit but he turned and grabbed the chair at his desk, turning it to sit in it backward across from me.
“So talk,” he prompted irritably.
Uh, not going the way I wanted it to. I guessed he’d shared enough earlier to last him another six months but whatever.
“Okay, well, first of all, tell me you cared about Nikki.”
He took a deep breath and blew it out. “I still do. She’s a good friend.”
That was good albeit somewhat hard to take. But I was glad he’d shared.
“Okay, other than the obvious, I wanna know why you’re so intent on winning every match this year?”
You’d have thought I’d called his mother a bad name by the way he looked at me.
“Next question.”
Really?
I bit my lip as I stared at him. “What happened your freshman year that’s made you feel like you have to win?”
He narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck did Loch tell you?”
“Not a lot but he alluded to the fact that something happened freshman year that’s pushed you.”
“Next.”
Was he kidding?
“We’re not gonna get anywhere if you won’t answer,” I said.
“Why the fuck do we need to talk to begin with? I mean, this really isn’t any of your business.”
Wow.
“Well, that’s another question I have. Why do you get so nasty when you’re uncomfortable? God. You can go from zero to jerk in one-point-five seconds.” I stood up ready to leave.
He stretched his legs out knowing I was getting ready to bolt and they’d hinder me as he crossed his strong arms over his muscled chest. I put my hands on my hips and we had a stare down until I broke it.
“Look, if you don’t want to tell me anything, that’s fine. You’re the one who brought it up saying there were rules and we needed to talk.” For the second time tonight tears filled my eyes. “But if we can’t get past this, I—I don’t see any reason for us to continue seeing each other.” I saw his eyes get dark at hearing this. And now, time for the truth which would make or break us. “I want a relationship with you, Ryker. If all I wanted was a fuck buddy, then what he have would work just fine.” I swallowed roughly. “But I want to know you. I love you.”
He stood so fast his chair went flying backward. “No.” He looked as if I’d struck him as he shook his head looking everywhere but at me. A moment later, he rubbed his hands over his face and finally looking me in the eye said, “I can’t do this right now, Francesca. I just can’t.”
“Wh-what?” The tears were free falling down my face now.
“I’m sorry.”
He left the room leaving me standing there in shock. A few minutes later after getting myself together, I walked into the living room, grabbed my coat from the rack and left.