Chapter Ten - Sophia

Neither Blake nor Jenna was anywhere to be found during the meet and greet. I hoped they were off commiserating their losses. They deserved each other. Derrick stayed by my side during the event as I signed countless autographs and snapped pictures with anyone that asked. He kept one arm around my chair and the warmth of his presence helped me stay locked into the task at hand and not drift back over the events of the terrible day.

When the last soldier had gone on their way, I thanked the crew that came in to break everything down, and then took Derrick’s hand and let him lead the way back to my room. We didn’t speak on the way, and even when we were alone in my room, Derrick waited for me to start speaking.

I sank down on the couch and leaned forward to brace my elbows on my knees. “My ex-husband is engaged,” I blurted.

Derrick sat down beside me and gently pulled me against him. “I’m sorry, Sophia.”

I shook my head. “The biggest thing is that I don’t even know why I care. It’s been over a year since he told me he wanted a divorce. Why should I care if he’s getting married to someone else? I should feel sorry for her, write her a letter saying something like ‘careful, his attention span for marriage only lasts three years’ or something.”

Derrick stroked my hair. “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“We met when I was seventeen. He was older, twenty-four. When I first started singing, my record label wanted me to be more of a pop princess. So, my first album was more dance tracks and so when I went on tour, I had backup dancers. Roberto—that’s his name—he was one of the dancers they hired. We started out as friends but after a year on the road together, things changed. He was my first love…my first everything. We got engaged a year after that and married six months later. The first year was good. After that, things changed. He stopped working as a dancer. He wanted to try modeling and acting instead. I helped him as much as I could but no matter what he did, he never got a foothold. Meanwhile, I separated from my original label and started my own music which actually made me more successful, contrary to what the original label thought when they signed me…”

“I can’t even imagine you as a pop singer,” Derrick said, smiling at me.

“Yeah. Do me a favor, never Google my first album.”

Derrick smiled at my pained expression. “I might like it.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help but laugh softly. “Trust me, I didn’t pull it off like Britney.”

“I’ll be the judge of that, but please, continue,” he said, tucking me in closer to him.

“I guess it’s the curse of people in the entertainment industry,” I said. “My career was on the rise, he was struggling. On top of that, our schedules were all over the place. I thought things were better than they were. Maybe I was too wrapped up in my own world…anyway, last year, we spent maybe four months out of the entire year together. The next thing I knew was I came home from tour to work on my next album and he wanted a divorce.”

Derrick grimaced. “Ouch. I’m so sorry, Sophia.”

“Me too. I wouldn’t take it back, I learned a lot and I don’t regret it, but it’s still this pain point that I can’t quite seem to heal. So, to hear that not only did he move on so quickly, but now that he’s engaged, it just made me feel like there’s something wrong with me that I’m not over it yet. At least, not entirely.”

“I think everyone handles divorce differently. In the military, sadly, there’s a lot of it. I’ve known half a dozen guys who leave for one tour married and then the next one, they’re not. It happens all the time. It’s not show business, but it’s got a lot of the same stresses. Time away, high pressure situations, schedule conflicts.”

“Do you think we’re making a mistake here…?” I asked, my voice quiet as I barely forced the question out of my mouth.

Derrick was quiet a moment too long, sending my stomach clenching into a tight knot.

I didn’t want to let myself fall in love just to go through the same cycle all over again. Derrick wasn’t going to walk away from his career and I wasn’t willing to walk away from mine, either. Were we walking into a minefield?

Derrick shifted so he could face me. His hand rested casually on my leg as his eyes met mine. “Well, I care about you, Sophia, I’d really like to get to know you better but, I’d be lying if I said we aren’t going to have challenges. My job takes me away for months at a time. So does yours. But that doesn’t mean we’ll have the same struggles.”

“I know you’re right, but it still scares me.”

He nodded. “Hell, it scares me too. I haven’t felt like this before and while I don’t shy away from taking risks, this feels different.”

“Like the stakes are even higher.”

“Yeah.”

I squeezed his hand. “I really don’t want to hurt you. But I know there’s a chance this might get to be too much for me and I bolt. Not because I don’t want to be with you, but because I’m afraid of ending up heartbroken. Again.”

“I don’t want to break your heart, Sophia.”

I met his eyes, the dark brown pools flecked with gold from the low lights in the room. “I don’t want to break yours either.”

Derrick cupped the side of my face and I relaxed into his warm touch. “I think we should try. We owe it to ourselves to see where this can go. It’s too good and feels too right to let it go because of fear of what might happen.”

I hesitated, the words stuck in my throat. My heart was slamming against my chest as Derrick’s words rolled around in my mind. He was right. I felt it in my bones. But the shroud of fear still clung to my shoulders and held me back from jumping in with both feet. From the first night with Derrick, I had a sense that we’d have this conversation, there was something more between us than chemistry and a handful of nights spent together. But how would it translate? Would we be able to have something real outside of the bubble we’d been living in for the past few days? Was it kismet or was it just my frayed emotions getting the best of me and making me see something that wasn’t even there?

“I don’t want to rush into anything, Sophia. Obviously you’re still working things out and I don’t want to get in the way of that,” Derrick continued, filling the quiet as I struggled with my cloudy thoughts.

“You’re not rushing me,” I said, shaking my head. “I just need to go slow.”

A smile spread over Derrick’s lips. “Slow works for me.”

“Oh, really?” I asked, smirking at the look of mischief in his eyes. “Well, I got all night.”

Derrick’s thumb traced over my lips. “That’s very, very good news.”

His lips took the place of his thumb and he kissed me, erasing any trace of doubt from my mind. At least for the night. Tonight, there was no room for big questions and even bigger fears. I wanted to lose myself in Derrick and the way he made me feel, not stopping to wonder how long it would all last.

Derrick pulled on my hips, dragging me onto his lap. I straddled him, arching back as his lips moved down the side of my neck. He knew just where to go, what to do to drive me crazy. “Take me to bed,” I whispered, clinging to him.

I didn’t need to ask twice. Derrick pushed up from the couch, sweeping me along with him. I locked my ankles behind his back as he carried me to the bed and we didn’t leave until the following morning when the sun was streaming in through the windows.