Chapter Seven - Sophia

My eyes fluttered open to find an empty place in the large bed beside me. The place Derrick had occupied all night. I smoothed a hand over the wrinkled sheets and found that they were still warm. I pushed myself up to a half-sitting position and glanced in the direction of the bathroom. The door was open and the interior was dark. With a small sigh of disappointment, I flopped back on the bed. The room was starting to brighten as the sun rose beyond the navy blue curtains. They were thick enough to filter the sunlight, but not so much that it didn’t light up the room. A glance at the clock showed that it was nearly seven o’clock. He was probably at work. I’d never even thought to ask what his work schedule was like.

As for me…other than a sound check prior to the concert, I didn’t have anything on my schedule. I was hoping to spend the day with Derrick, not even thinking he had a job to do. Even before getting out of bed, I knew my muscles were sore from the night before. But I didn’t care. I wanted more.

I wanted Derrick.

I was all too aware of the time counting down in the back of my mind, a reminder that in seven days, I’d be on a plane back to New York and wouldn’t see Derrick again. Possibly ever. Sure, we’d made plans to meet up for New Year’s, but how practical was that really? It would be amazing, but the reality was that Derrick had a family and friends waiting to see him, from the sounds of it they’d been waiting a long time, and I couldn’t bear to get in the way of that, to be the one to steal that time from them. After all, Derrick and I had just met three days ago. I had no right to take up his precious time off duty.

Especially when I didn’t have anything to offer him. At least not long term. My life was a mess. I wasn’t in a position to go around offering promises or building a relationship. Nine months ago, I was trying not to openly cry in divorce court. There was no way I was ready for something real. Something like Derrick. He wasn’t the casual type. That much I already knew. And yet, I’d raced in head first anyways.

Typical Sophia.

Hadn’t I learned anything from my marriage to Roberto? Fools really do rush in.

I sighed loudly, trying to clear the dark thoughts from my mind. I had seven more days to figure it all out. I certainly wasn’t going to be able to come up with a conclusion with a rumbling stomach. I could circle back to it once I had about a gallon of coffee running through my veins.

I rolled over to the side of the bed Derrick had slept on and inhaled his scent. I didn’t think he wore cologne, but he definitely wore some kind of aftershave, and the smell of it drove me wild. As my face landed on his pillow, a crumpling sound stirred me. A note was perched on top the pillow. I’d apparently missed it with my bleary eyes. I swiped it up and flicked on the bedside lamp to read it:

Good morning, beautiful.

Sorry I had to sneak out on ya. Duty calls. I’ll be at work until late tonight. But I’ll call your room when I get done.

I’ll be thinking of you all day.

Kill it at your show tonight.

-Your soldier

My heart melted at the message. It had been such a long time since I’d received a love note. Not that Derrick was in love with me…or that I was with him…

I forced myself out of bed before I could delve too deeply into over analyzing the sweet message—or, more terrifying, what it might mean—and took a quick shower, somewhat reluctantly washing away the scent of Derrick that still clung to my skin.

After getting another monster breakfast—once again falling victim to the tempting call of unlimited pancakes—I took my coffee refill to my room to retrieve my laptop so I could finish the blog post I’d started the day before. After getting through my email inbox and finishing updating my website, it was creeping closer to noon. It was still early back home, but I decided to check in with my best friend, Alissa. I knew she’d be awake for her 5 am spin class.

I dialed her number and waited for her to click onto the video call. Sure enough, she answered, and her bright, smiling face lit up my screen. Her blonde hair was piled up in a topknot that was too artful for the gym and from the part of her upper body that I could see, it didn’t look like she was wearing a sports bra top.

“Hey, gorgeous!” she chirped, wiggling her fingers at the camera.

“Hey, Lissa. What are you doing looking so put together at this hour?”

She giggled. “Sunrise photo shoot.” She panned the camera down to showcase the fabulous orange gown she was wearing. Alissa was a fashion model who was represented by the same talent agent I was, which was how we’d met a few years back. She spent her days in thick makeup, fancy hair, and priceless couture, but at the end of the day, she scraped it all off and was happiest with a slice of pizza and a Knick’s game on TV. We were two peas in a low-maintenance pod.

“Sunrise?” I cringed, like the proper sunrise-adverse vampire that I was. “Don’t these people have any respect for sleeping in?”

Alissa laughed. “I’ve been up since three. Still had to get my spin on. Thank goodness for twenty-four-hour gyms, right?”

I raised an eyebrow. “You’re seriously asking me that?”

I tended to avoid the gym at any hour. I had a trainer who came to my apartment three times a week to torture me. That was more than enough. If I wanted to look like Alissa, willowy and lean, I would need a hell of a lot more than a twenty-four-hour gym membership. I’d need a team of people that could chase me down the street and slap croissants, pizza, and take out Chinese food right from my hands.

“How’s Baghdad?” Alissa asked, setting the computer back down so the camera re-centered on her sunny face. “Everything you dreamed it would be?”

“It’s actually really pretty,” I said, glancing at the window of my room. The curtains were pulled back now, providing a view of the city. “I actually wish I could go out and explore a little.”

Alissa shuddered. “I’d be staying inside with the AC cranked and no chance of one of those camel spiders carrying me off to its lair!”

I cringed. “Oh yeah…forgot about those things…”

“And scorpions too!”

“All right, all right. No more or I’ll never sleep again!” I wiggled my shoulders as a creepy-crawly sensation slid down my back. A strange smile pulled at my lips before I added, “Although I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night and it had nothing to do with a bug infestation.”

Alissa’s already large eyes went even wider as she leaned in. “Stop it! What happened?”

I laughed at her bug-eyed expression. “I met someone…”

“Oh my gosh, and of course I have like less than ten minutes. Okay, give me the rundown.”

“His name is Derrick. He’s a soldier here at the base. Short version, he’s the perfect gentleman, hot as sin, and we might have gotten a little carried away last night…”

Alissa made a faux swooning sound. “Jealous!”

I grinned at her, resisting the urge to remind her that she could have any man in the city. Hell, probably the world. “I definitely wasn’t planning on meeting someone. I mean really…how insane…but we click.”

“I’m so happy for you! You deserve the best guy after everything you’ve gone through this year.”

I nodded, my smile faltering a little. “Thanks, Lissa. It just feels odd. Like I’m rushing into it.”

“Rushing? Honey, you’ve been single now for nine months. That’s plenty of time! You’re not getting engaged to this guy, you just had a night of fun. What’s wrong with that?”

I didn’t have an answer for her.

“Listen, you were married forever, right? So of course this is new and scary, but you have to let yourself off the hook and give yourself permission to have some fun again.”

I nodded. “You’re right. Besides, it’s not like Roberto hasn’t moved on,” I said, my tone a little terser than I’d intended. “Have you seen the magazines?”

Alissa’s eyes shifted off the camera. A subtle flick but I caught it right away. My stomach plummeted. “What?”

Alissa shrugged. “Nothing. You just have—”

“Alissa.”

She stared at me for a long moment and then dragged in a sigh. “He’s engaged…”

“What?” I belted, rocketing from my seat.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, her eyes downcast. I lowered back to my seat, my stomach rolling in nauseating waves that made me feel like I was in the middle of an amusement park ride. “I saw it on Holly Pepper’s show last night. She had an interview with him and his bimbo. Jackie. Blech. I can’t stand her.”

My finger twitched over the track pad on my laptop, itching to go searching for the whole story. I knew it would only make me cry, but the sick fascination was there all the same. “When did this happen?”

“The day you left. It was her birthday, I guess. The asshole proposed in the middle of her show, on stage, in front of all of her fans.”

What little air that was left in my lungs evaporated, images from the past flooding in faster than I could combat. There I was, nineteen, singing my heart out for a crowd at the Dallas stop on my first nationwide tour. In the middle of the set, Roberto, came from backstage where he’d been with the other dancers, and he dropped to a knee right there. How could he do it again with another woman? Had it all meant nothing to him?

“Liss, I gotta go,” I said, pushing up from my seat at the computer. Without waiting for her reply, I raced to the bathroom and heaved over the toilet. When everything was out of my stomach, the tears raced in, hot and fast, coursing down my cheeks and spilling onto the floor as I curled up on the tile.

How could he? The question rang through my mind over and over accompanied by the image of our engagement playing on repeat.

How could he?