Preston

Standing in the shower, I let the hot water fall over my tired and aching body. I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed, but I knew I had to see her. I needed to know that she was okay. I couldn’t even begin to understand how she was feeling. I wasn’t even sure what I was going to say to her. The accident just happened yesterday, and I myself was trying to come to grips with it.

Leaning my head back, I fought to keep this foreign feeling away. This feeling of emptiness, loss, and regret was new to me. Maybe if I had gone to him first I could have saved him. I wasted precious moments.

Precious moments that could have saved his life.

The knock on the bathroom door caused me to jump. “Preston? How long are you going to be in the shower? I’m hungry and tired of waiting for you.”

Placing my hand on the wall of the shower, I shook my head. One thing I’d quickly learned about Sherry after we started dating was that she couldn’t care less about my job or how it could affect me. “I’ll be out in a few minutes. Why don’t you go ahead and eat without me? I’m not hungry.”

Sherry let out a frustrated moan. “Fine.”

The bathroom door slammed as I rolled my eyes. Sherry and I had been dating for two years now, and I knew she was waiting for me to give her a ring. Every single time I walked into a jewelry store, I stood there looking at the rings for about twenty minutes before turning and walking out of the store. I wanted to love her the way she wanted to be loved. When I closed my eyes, I dreamed of a future. Kids running around laughing as my wife and I looked on. No matter how hard I tried, I didn’t see Sherry in that future.

Letting out a sigh, I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. Reaching for the towel, I dried off as the bathroom door opened again. Sherry smiled as she gazed at my body. One thing Sherry was good at was fucking. She knew when I needed to forget things and was more than happy to help out. Licking her lips, she dropped to the floor and took my dick in her mouth. Pushing her away, I took a step back.

“Sherry, I can’t. Not now.”

Looking up at me with anger in her eyes, Sherry stood. “What do you mean…not now? Baby, I know how to make it all go away.”

Shaking my head, I wrapped my towel around my waist and pushed past her. “Not this time, Sherry.”

Walking into the bedroom, I dropped my towel and pulled my jeans on. Sherry walked up and wrapped her arms around my waist. Closing my eyes, I took in the moment. I willed myself to love Sherry. I cared about her; I just didn’t think I was in love with her.

Knowing she was just trying to help, I turned around and pulled her to me. Placing my lips against hers, I gently kissed her. Sherry returned the kiss. “Tonight, dinner. You and me here in the apartment.”

Sherry’s eyes lit up. “Sounds amazing, Preston. I may just buy a new dress.”

Raising my eyebrows, I asked, “Oh yeah?”

Biting on her lip, she nodded as she let out a purr. “Maybe one with easy access for you.”

Grinning, I said, “Seven sharp. Don’t wear panties with that new dress.”

Kissing me again, she whispered against my lips, “Deal, Mr. Ward.”

Walking up to the nurses’ station, I waited patiently as one of the nurses talked to a guy who looked to be a few years older than me. His blond hair was a mess and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.

“Mr. Harris, I assure you, your sister is getting the utmost care.”

He pushed both hands through his hair and let out a long breath. “Please just make sure no one talks to her first before me. Please.”

The nurse’s eyes softened and I instantly knew whom they were talking about. It was her, the woman from yesterday’s car wreck.

Clearing my throat, I spoke. “Excuse me, are you speaking about the young woman in yesterday’s car accident on Boylston Street?”

The guy turned and looked at me. “Yes. Who are you?”

Swallowing the knot in my throat, I said, “I’m one of the responding firefighters. I am…I tried…um—” The words wouldn’t form in my mouth as I fought like hell to tell him I was the one who worked on his nephew.

Reaching his hand out to me, he said, “Jake Harris. I’m Harmony’s brother.”

Harmony. What a beautiful name. The way she was looking at me yesterday flashed across my memory and I squeezed my eyes shut to block it out.

She had counted on me. Begged me, and I let her down. Those blue eyes would haunt me for the rest of my life.

“Preston Ward. Have you eaten anything, Jake?”

Jake’s voice cracked. “No, I haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday morning.”

Walking closer, I asked the nurse for a piece of paper and reached for a pen. I wrote down my cellphone number on the paper she handed me and smiled. “If Harmony wakes up, please just call or text me.”

Nodding, she whispered, “When Mrs. Banks wakes up, I’ll let you know.”

Slapping Jake lightly on the back, I said, “Come on, lunch is on me. I hear the food here is amazing.”

Jake looked at me and managed to give me a weak smile.

By the time we got our food and found a table, I discovered that Jake was finishing up medical school at Boston University School of Medicine. His parents no longer talked to Harmony and Jake was all she had left.

Sitting at the table, I decided to go ahead and ask the question. “Why do your parents not speak to Harmony? If you don’t mind my asking.”

Jake took a bite of his club sandwich, then a sip of Coke. “About two weeks before Harmony and her husband, Trey, were set to graduate high school, she found out she was two months pregnant. She was set to go to Harvard and Trey was going to the University of Massachusetts. Needless to say, their plans changed. Trey’s parents bought Harmony and Trey a house and his father brought him into his business with the agreement that he would still go to school. Harmony was also expected to continue with college after the baby was born.” Jake let out a small laugh and shook his head. “My sister took classes that fall and right up until she gave birth to TJ at the end of December.” Jake smiled as he closed his eyes and shook his head. “Harmony wants to be a nurse. Has since she was little. I remember when I left for college, she cried her eyes out and begged me to take her with me.”

Smiling, I said, “She must be pretty smart to have gotten into Harvard.”

Jake’s smile faded some as he took another bite. After a few minutes, he continued talking. “When Harmony and Trey told my parents she was pregnant, they gave her two options. Abortion or be disowned.”

About choking on my sandwich, I gasped for air as I asked, “Are you kidding me?”

“I wish I was, but no. My parents are real assholes. The only reason I stay on their good side is because I’m dating the daughter of a Massachusetts senator. They put up with my behavior because they know that will help me advance. I call bullshit. Daddy likes to hobnob with the senator and I’m pretty sure he has helped my father with a few business deals.”

I noticed tears beginning to fill Jake’s eyes as he looked away. “It’s me and Harmony. It’s always just been us.” He turned back to me, and I watched as a tear rolled down Jake’s cheek.

“How do I do it, Preston? How do I tell my sister she’s lost everything…again?”

Closing my eyes, I dropped my head. My heart was pounding and I felt my hands starting to shake. Taking in a deep breath, I looked back at Jake and whispered, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t save him for her. I tried like hell and I can’t…I can’t get the look in her eyes to leave my mind. They were pleading with me. She was—” My voice cracked and it was my turn to look away while I swept my tears away with my fingers.

“Oh no. You were the firefighter working on TJ?” Jake asked.

I nodded quickly. “I’m so sorry. I keep replaying everything over and over in my head. If I hadn’t gone to the driver first, would those few split seconds have been enough to bring the baby back? Those few precious moments where I made the wrong decision.”

“Trey Junior.”

My head snapped to Jake. Tears slid down his cheeks. “The baby, his name was Trey Junior, but we called him TJ.”

Smiling weakly, I nodded as an ache grew in my chest.

Clearing his throat, Jake spoke. “May I ask you something, Preston?”

“Yes, of course you can.”

“How long have you been a firefighter?”

Leaning back in my chair, I took in a deep breath. “I started working at the volunteer fire department that my father ran in our small hometown when I was sixteen. He used to be a captain in the Boston Fire Department. My mother hated the city and wanted to live in the country.” Smiling, I shook my head. “So my father moved her out of the city. Anyway, I took the civil service test and started with the Boston Fire Department right out of high school. I’ve been working at Firehouse 37 the last four years.”

Jake searched my face for a few seconds before asking, “Do you like it?”

Staring down at the table, I attempted to find my answer. “If you had asked me two days ago, I would have told you my job is my life. Right now, I feel a bit lost. Trying to deal with feelings I’ve never had to deal with before.”

Leaning farther over the table, Jake said, “It wasn’t your fault. Fate played its hand, Preston. Regardless if you had gone to Trey or TJ first, you would have doubted it either way. There is no right or wrong in this.”

Pursing my lips, I nodded. “I’m sorry. You’ve just lost your family and here I am feeling sorry for myself.” Letting out a gruff laugh, I said, “I’m totally acting like a douche.”

Jake shook his head. “No man, I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. Was this your first…loss?”

A shiver ran over my body as the words seeped into my brain. I whispered, “First child.”

My phone buzzed and Jake and I both looked down at it. “It’s my girlfriend.”

I could see Jake’s body relax as he sat back in his seat.

Sherry: Don’t be late. I have a spa appointment early tomorrow morning. I’m picking up takeout for dinner.

Me: Looking forward to it and the dress.

Setting my phone back down, I pushed my sandwich away from me. “You’re probably wondering why I’m here.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Jake smiled. “Now that you mention it.”

Looking into his eyes, I could see the hurt and confusion. Wondering if my eyes mirrored his, I glanced around the room. “I had to know if she was okay. My mind won’t stop thinking about her eyes as she pleaded with me to save her child.”

Jake covered his face with his hands and let out a frustrated groan. “Damn it. Preston, how in the hell am I going to tell her? I can’t even understand this myself. She’s going to be destroyed. I’m about to start my residency and I’m afraid she is going to be alone in her…grief.” Jake looked away and closed his eyes as tears fell once again.

“Jake, when the time comes and you need to tell her, you’ll find the strength. I’m sure of it.”

My phone buzzed again, but this time it was from an unknown number.

Mrs. Banks is awake.

Swallowing hard, I took in a deep breath. “Jake, your sister is awake.”

Jake jumped up, nearly knocking the chair out from behind him. Without so much as a word, he turned and jogged to the elevator. My limbs felt like they had a hundred pounds on each one as I cleared off the table. Slowly making my way to the elevator, I hit the floor for ICU and silently said a prayer that Jake would indeed find the strength he needed to get through this and to be there for his sister.