Chapter 17
Sawyer
“The man who straddles the fence has a sore crotch.”
~ Grant Turner
I did what I had to do.
If she stayed, I wouldn’t be able to control myself.
It’s for the best.
I kept repeating those words to myself as if saying it over and over again would somehow magically make it true.
I did what I had to do.
Telling her to go and ending this whole thing before it even started was the right move.
It’s for the best.
As I dipped my head beneath the hot water, I tried to focus on that truth. But traitorous thoughts kept popping up, saying things like, you should’ve never let her go.
Maybe things would be different with her.
She is a once in a lifetime girl.
I smothered those thoughts. Going down that road would lead to tragedy. I learned that lesson the hard way. If the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, then I wasn’t about to risk being crazy with her.
All of this was for the best.
I heard the familiar click of Chewy’s paws on the tile and figured he was coming to tell me that his new best friend had left. I was sure he was bummed, and he wasn’t the only one.
“I know buddy,” I commiserated as I pushed the shower curtain aside, ready to tell him that he wasn’t the only one that was disappointed.
But I was wrong. He hadn’t come to tell me that she’d left. He’d followed her.
She wasn’t gone.
She was standing in my bathroom.
And she didn’t have any clothes on.
Not one stitch.
I opened my mouth to speak because if there were ever a time that words were required, this would be it. But, nothing came out. I was awestruck by what I saw. I tried to clear my throat, but I couldn’t even do that. My eyes trailed up and down her body, her luscious neck, her beautiful shoulders, her ample, beautiful breasts, her nipped in waist, which flared immediately out into womanly hips, forming the perfect hourglass figure.
My hands itched to wrap around her perfect hips and pull her to me. To never let her go.
Shit. If I thought I was going to have a hard time controlling myself before, then I was a damn fool if I thought I had any hope of control with her standing here buck-ass-naked in my bathroom.
It was game over, and I’d lost. But, I had to admit, this felt a hell of a lot like winning.
“I guess I don’t know what’s good for me.” Her voice was shaky as she spoke. It was obvious that she was nervous.
As much as I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay, to assure her she had nothing to be nervous about, I knew that wouldn’t be fair to her. If this was going to happen, she needed to know what this was and what it wasn’t.
I was trying to find the right words, or any words, to tell her that when she started to turn and cover herself. “I’m sorry. I thought you wanted…I was wrong…” she shook her head as she stammered, “This was…I was…stupid. I shouldn’t hav—”
“Don’t go.” I should’ve let her leave, but even if it made me a selfish asshole, I couldn’t.
She stilled, her hands still covering herself as she looked back at me.
“You’re not stupid,” I continued. “I want you. You have no idea how much I want you.”
Her lips turned up in a slight grin as her eyes lowered. “I have some idea.”
Right. She wasn’t the only one who was naked, and my desire was standing at full attention.
“I do want you, but I can’t be with you. It would just be sex. One time.” I tried to explain, which wasn’t an easy task considering I was staring at the sexiest woman I’d ever seen, one that I’d come to have strong feelings for, stronger than I’d ever had for another person. “That’s all I have to offer, and it’s not enough. You deserve more.”
“I don’t think I could handle more,” she teased as her eyes once again drifted south.
As much as I appreciated how cute she was being, I was in no mood for flirty banter.
“Delilah,” I said her name in warning. I was serious about this.
“Okay.” She nodded as she walked towards me, and my heart and dick jumped as her hips swayed back and forth. I knew she wasn’t doing it to be intentionally sensual. She was just innately sexy. Her honeyed voice barely registered above a whisper as she said two words that I typically wanted to hear from women, but in this case broke my heart a little. “Just sex.”
My chest tightened to the point that I couldn’t breathe as she stepped into the shower and stood in front of me. Steam rose around her as I dropped my arm, letting the curtain close. No need to give Chewy a show.
Her skin got pinker and softer looking by the second. Water ran down her voluptuous curves just like I’d imagined in my fantasy. My eyes drifted down and then up again, hungrily drinking in her naked form. She was everything I’d ever dreamed of and more.
Her eyes were doing the same thing, but she added her hands to the mix. I forced myself to keep my hands at my side and let her explore me because I knew once I touched her it would be over. Her touch left a trail of tingles everywhere her fingernails grazed. She took her time, slowly dragging them up the outside of my arms, paying extra attention to my biceps and shoulders. Then she ran them across my chest, and I was sure that she could feel the pounding of my heart beneath her gentle touch. As she grazed lower, over my torso, her fingertips outlined my abs. It wasn’t until she reached just above my manhood that I could no longer stay still.
I planted my hands firmly on her hips and crushed her to me. Her eyes widened, and so did her smile. And there was something else there in her face, something that I hadn’t anticipated.
Relief.
Something occurred to me that hadn’t before.
It must’ve taken a shit ton of courage for her to walk in here like this. I sure as hell hadn’t made it easy for her. When I put up walls, she’d walked through them like they didn’t exist, and maybe for her, they didn’t. She was a woman who saw what she wanted, and went after it. I was lucky enough that the thing that she wanted was me.
And she was unlucky enough that the thing that she wanted was me. Because there could never be anything real between us. Nothing long-term.
I’d tried to make that clear to her, and I had to believe that she understood. But, that wasn’t something I wanted to worry about right now, not when I had Delilah in my shower, in my arms, ready and willing for me to take her. Right now was the time for action, not contemplation.
Lowering my head, I pressed my lips to hers, moving them gently. She lifted up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around my neck. She moaned into my kiss, and our bodies slid against each other. The kiss started out as a drugging, exploratory kiss but quickly turned into something urgent and desperate.
I may not be able to tell her how I felt or how much I cared for her, but fuck if I couldn’t show her. This wasn’t going to be like the other women I’d had arrangements with. This wasn’t just physical. I just couldn’t tell her that.
Even if it was only for this one night—and, that’s all it could be—I was going to make love to Delilah.
Needing to taste more of her, I moved my lips down her body, kissing my way down the creamy, smooth skin of her shoulders and chest. This was what I had fantasized about for so long. It felt surreal.
I slid my hands up from her waist and cupped her full, gorgeous breasts in my hands. They were substantial, and I loved feeling the weight of them in my palms.
I would never understand other guys’ fascination with stick-figure girls. When it came to breasts, to hips, to asses, give me a heavy handful any time. When I had a woman in my arms, I wanted no doubt in my mind that she was all woman.
Not able to resist tasting her sweet nipple, I sucked it into my mouth and licked it with the stiffened end of my tongue. It grew harder and more prominent under my expert attention. Her back arched and I feasted on first her left, then her right breast. I didn’t rush as I showed each the tender loving care it deserved, kneading her flesh in my hands as I sucked, licked, and bit her hardened nubs.
“Oh, Sawyer. Oh, yes,” she groaned, and I had to quickly slide one arm around her waist and pull her up because her knees buckled and she slid down a little bit.
My dick hardened to an extreme level as it glided against her belly. Her body writhed, and the friction was causing my already throbbing shaft to swell and throb with each roll of her hips, each glide of her wet skin.
I ignored my need, instead concentrating on how her nipples felt in my mouth. I rolled them between my lips, nibbled on them with my teeth, and flicked them with my tongue.
“Please,” she begged breathlessly. “Touch me.”
She didn’t have to ask me twice. I kept one arm anchored around her back as I dipped the other between her legs. I sucked even harder on her breasts as I felt just how wet she was for me. And not because we were in the shower. The moisture coating her sex was slick from arousal.
I traced her seam with my fingertips, the soft and feminine folds parting easily for my exploring fingers. If this was going to be our only night, I wanted to touch every inch of that body, give her every single bit of pleasure that I could, and take every single bit that was offered to me.
Keeping a steady pace, I ran my middle finger up and down and up and down, again and again, in rhythm with her panting and her whispering yes in my ear as she gripped my shoulders. Finally, I slipped first one, then another digit inside her tight canal and pumped them in and out in that same rhythm.
Her legs began shaking, and her stomach trembled. I knew she was close and I wanted to increase her pleasure. So, I slowed my fingers to a steady in and out motion and ran my thumb up, finding the button at the top of her juicy folds. I rubbed around the small, pebble-like bud, never actually touching it. I started with lazy circles, teasing her and drawing out the experience as long as I could. I lifted my eyes and watched her face as I touched her, enjoying every new expression that crossed it, every new way that it contorted with the sparks I was sending through her body.
As her breathing increased in pants, I kept up with my fingers, watching the pleasure that I was giving her play across her face. Her eyes closed as her inner walls clutched me tightly.
She’d been whimpering as I slipped my hand down her body, the whimpers getting louder and more intense the closer I got to her center. She’d kept whimpering as my fingers had explored, and the whimpers had reached a fever pitch as I’d pumped them in and out of her.
But, finally, as my thumb found its ultimate destination, the whimpers resolved into words. Words of begging, pleading.
“Oh, yes. Oh, Sawyer, yes. Please. Please, please, please.”
Damn, if I had thought my dick was painfully hard before, I hadn’t known what perfect agony was. Fuck. I’d wanted to draw this out, but I needed to be inside her, and it needed to happen now.