7
The next months were the happiest in Dave ‘Rage’ Carter’s life. Never had he ever allowed himself to feel to so complete and so needed in his life. Adel had agreed to become a part of his life and that filled it with so much meaning and care and love.
She was still quite addicted to the self-destructive wilderness of sex. As much as he loved the explosive power of their feral sexual encounters, day by day Dave was bringing her closer to also accepting care and tenderness, and sometimes letting him make love to her.
Adel never talked about ballet. She hated any mentioning of the accident, as well as continuing her rehabilitation exercises. It had been a month since she had been attending ballet classes at her old company – this was supposed to help her stay in shape before she was ready to head back to New York.
Neither Rage nor Nastia knew when she was supposed to be back. She did not want either of them to attend her training, saying, she was not in the shape to dance in front of an audience. Whenever Rage tried to push the matter, she would answer with a simple cold reply.
“It is going fine, but I can’t talk about it right now. That’s just my work,” she would say and raise the protective impenetrable wall.
That morning, as Dave prepared to leave to attend club business, Adel was still in bed. He leaned and placed a tender kiss on her temple. He didn’t want to wake her up. It was still too early, and he wanted her to rest well before she went to her afternoon training at the ballet company. He took another moment to admire the amazing woman in his bed. Her face looked so peaceful, just beginning for another kiss before he left.
“Rage fucking Carter late for the first time in the goddamn history of humanity,” shouted Stalk as a greeting. Dave snorted. Stalker could celebrate his little victory to the content of his heart.
“Had something nicer in front of my eyes than you sorry ass,” he spanked Stalk’s ass jokingly as he walked over to his own bike.
They had to run some errands for the club that morning. It had been a while since Rage let himself relax in his friend's company. As happy as he was with Adel, he always had a feeling that he was walking along a sharp blade and one tiny slip could unleash a disaster. He hoped it was just him being overprotective of her, but there was this nagging feeling inside him, that something was still amiss.
“Don’t look at me with that sappy face of yours. A bit more of that ballerina romance and you’ll start wearing a tutu instead of a cut,” Stalk kicked him in the leg and hurriedly started his bike to avoid an answering kick from Rage.
As he hit the road a sudden realization washed over him. He had never seen any ballet shoes, any bodice or whatever ballerinas were supposed to wear for their training. The more he thought about it, the bitter it tasted on his tongue. She was never a quitter. Never. More than anything and anyone in this life his Adel loved ballet.
Finishing his work, Dave hurried to the ballet company. She was still supposed to be at her training. He could pick her up and they could sit down and talk about all of this.
Her car was not in the parking lot. Another wave of unease squeezed his heart. This could not be possible. He was totally overreacting and making up things. Dave fishes his phone and dialed Adel's number. She answered on the first ring.
“Hey,” her voice was too cheerful; “I missed you already.”
“Me too, baby. I came to pick you up from your training. Waiting for you at the entrance,” he bit at his lip as he waiting for several long moments until she took long shuddering breaths.
"I am not there," she spoke eventually and her voice was too tiny, too miserable. Rage hated the sting of self-loathing he heard in it.
“Did you finish early?” he asked with one final drop of hope. He knew he was lying to himself.
“Rage, I’ve never been back to training. I guess you know it.” Then, she let the heavy silence hang between them. Neither of them spoke, as rage burst through Dave. If he were not blinded by this love he would’ve noticed it earlier, would’ve understood it from the carelessly easy attitude of her. He had been lying to himself at his love was making it easier for her to cope with the hardship. No such bullshit. All he had been doing was coating her with sweetness while letting her ruin her life.
As he rode back home, Rage carefully planned his next words. He was not going to let his love or rage blind him ever again. He needed to maintain his cool.
Dave ‘Rage’ Carter would be damned if he pushed the only woman he had ever loved away from him. But if he didn’t do it, he would hate himself for the rest of his life for his inaction, while she ruined the biggest dream of her life. And even worse – she would eventually hate him for that. He was not going to be her ally in killing her dreams. If she was going to use their love as a shield to hide behind it from the hurt of her failure and justify her inaction with it, he would crash that love with his own bare hands.
Adel was waiting for him as he arrived home. Her huge green-gold eyes were filled with so much pain that it hurt to look into them. He was not going to spare her feelings now.
"Now, we are going to the bedroom and we are going to make love," he spoke to her without tearing his eyes from hers. Her eyes widened with surprise. "And after that, you are going to collect your luggage and leave for New York this very evening. Do whatever it takes. Train as much as you need. And if you are still unable to dance, find another way to use your fucking talent – teach ballet classes, try choreographer, or whatever damn thing you want to do. Anything, just don't sit here and pity yourself for the rest of your life."
He knew his words were harsh, but sparing her feelings now, would mean helping her ruin herself. Damned be he, if he was not pushing her away from him yet again. For all he knew, this time, it could be for good. But if that was going to be the price he needed to pay for her happiness, he was going to do it.
She looked into his eyes stubbornly daring him to change his mind, to regret his decision to make her leave. Eventually, she launched herself into his arms and let him kiss and make love to her. Maybe even for the last time. He did not know, but he was never going to give up on her. Dave ‘Rage’ Carter tried to put his vow to do everything in his power to bring her back into their farewell kiss before letting Adel step out of his time yet again.