Chapter 14
All or nothing
Sebastian
“Look at me. Look at me, Sebastian” Eddy said and went down the slide with the brightest smile on his lips.
How can I not look at you? I thought and waved his way.
I hadn’t stopped staring at him since the other day, since Andrea had told me the truth.
“Good boy,” I said back and smiled.
Eddy ran proudly around the playground and up the stairs, ready to slide again, calling out for my attention.
My eyes would never leave him anyway. He was mine, I couldn’t believe he was mine.
As I stood there in front of Eddy, outside the Saint Catherine Institute, I thought of Andrea’s words again.
Alejandro had left for Colombia only a week before we had met. It couldn’t possibly be his, Andrea was sure of it. The days weren’t right. She wasn’t pregnant before he left. Eddy was mine.
“I couldn’t tell you, I couldn’t tell anyone. There was so much at stake, Eddy’s life was at stake,” she had gone on. “If Alejandro found out about it, Sebastian, he would have killed you, killed Eddy in front of me,” she had cried in my arms.
“He’s mine?” I had asked again.
Andrea had simply nodded, trying to read the look in my eyes.
But how? We had used protection, Andrea had told me she was on the pill and had taken the condom out of my hands. It wasn’t necessary, she said. But it happened, against all odds. It had happened. A miracle. I never believed in miracles, until I saw one running around the garden like Eddy was doing.
“He’s mine,” I had murmured again and held Andrea tight against my chest.
That was the only thing I could think of doing. And I kissed her, kissed her again and again. I wanted her to know I wasn’t angry she hadn’t told me, she hadn’t found a way to let me know, in all those years because I knew why Andrea hadn’t.
It wasn’t about us anymore. It was about Eddy, the only thing that had kept her alive had been Eddy and he was the only person that mattered in this situation. Andrea had to protect him. So she did what any mother would do. She used anything to keep him safe. Alejandro’s affection for Eddy, she used it against him.
“I took Eddy away as soon as he was born. Alejandro was getting his hands deeper into the drug market, I had to walk around with guards all the time. And I used that against him. I told him Eddy wasn’t safe in that house, where all his ‘friends’ hung out with him,” Andrea had shaken her head a little. “Honour is everything for a man like him, Sebastian. He told me I had dishonoured him, his family, by walking out on him. He promised me he would kill me, but he let me go. Because blood is everything to him, too. He knew Eddy was his blood and deep down he knew I was right about protecting him. I did what I had to do, Sebastian. To keep us all safe,”
No, I couldn’t blame her. I couldn’t. But I was a father and that right had been taken away from me. Another thing I had been deprived of in my life. As If I knew what being a father really meant, I never had one to look up to. What good of a father could I be?
Life was unfair, I knew that all too well, but until I had air coming in and out of my lungs, it was never too late to set things right.
I had a chance, one chance and I wasn’t going to screw it up.
My blood- I thought, looking at Eddy wave at me from up the slide.
That’s when I knew what to do.
It was time to reconnect with Naples, with my old acquaintances. That was my only chance to save him. I was a father, I had to do what was right for my son.
Once we had the food on the table, I told Andrea what I had in mind.
“I need to go into town,” I said and she looked up from her plate immediately, petrified. “I’ll be back in an hour.”
It was true. I had made the phone call already and they would be waiting for me with all the stuff I needed.
“Why?” Andrea shook her head a little and placed down her fork, pushing away the plate.
My eyes went to her bony hands and I cursed under my breath.
What was I thinking? I should have found another moment to tell her, maybe wait for her to eat a little before informing her. Since our run had started – first to my apartment, now in the abandoned institute- Andrea had lost weight as well as sleep.
We exchanged a look and stood, taking the plates to the sink. Eddy was playing with his food, in his own little world again. I kept my eyes on him a moment longer, making sure to remember every, single thing about him.
“I need to go and get some documents. I have someone setting up fake identity cards for us. We can’t keep running like this, we need a plan to escape.”
“Escape where?” Andrea reached for my hand and I took it, holding onto it tight, showing her I was sure of what I was doing.
“You need to trust me with this.”
“But I can’t… what about my family?”
“Your family is still safe. Alejandro won’t touch them until he finds you, he’s after us now.”
She nodded, knowing I was right. We still had time to save them.
“We can’t live like this. Sooner or later someone is going to find you and Eddy, whether it’s Alejandro or the people after him,” I told her.
“I know,” Andrea nodded again, looking at Eddy for a moment.
“I have a plan,” I searched her face. “Trust me”