Chapter Four
October
“How are you, Tessa? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you here.”
Tessa had been tidying up the refreshment table in the large conference room but glanced up at the soft, melodious voice of Julia McKinnon. Though smiles didn’t come easily to Tessa these days, she couldn’t help but return the interior designer’s friendly greeting.
“I’m well, thank you. I’d ask how you’re doing but I think that’s fairly obvious,” Tessa replied in a lightly teasing tone.
Julia’s smile deepened into a grin. “And here I thought Nathan and I were being discreet. I guess I just can’t help the way I look at him.”
“You’re in love. I don’t blame you for being happy. And Mr. Atwood is obviously just as crazy about you,” Tess told her warmly.
Nathan Atwood was the co-owner of the architectural design firm that was currently creating the newest Gregson resort – this one in the Napa Valley wine country. Julia was the interior designer assigned to the project, and it had been rather obvious to Tessa the first time she’d met the gorgeous Julia that Mr. Atwood was extremely taken with her. They had been a couple for a few months now, and both of them positively glowed with happiness. And though they were discreet and professional, Tessa couldn’t help but notice all the ways they found to touch each other – fleeting little touches, affectionately given, almost imperceptible. Tessa had found herself envying them the easy, natural affection they shared, something she and Peter had never come close to having.
Julia seemed inordinately pleased at Tessa’s comment. “Well, it took him long enough to admit it, but now that he has it’s awesome. It’s – well, you know how it is – you’re a married woman, after all.”
Tessa knew her facial expression must have been a dead giveaway, because Julia instantly clutched her arm in concern.
“Are you all right?” she asked worriedly. “My God, you look like you’re going to faint, Tessa.”
Tessa closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before shaking her head. “I’m – okay, yes. Thanks for asking. I’d, um – better finish cleaning up here, though. I need to get back to my desk soon.”
But Julia wasn’t so easily dissuaded. “I’m so sorry if I said anything to upset you. Look, do you want to talk about it? Why don’t we have lunch together? What time do you normally take your break?”
“Um, at one o’clock. But I – that is, I always bring my lunch every day. I don’t think –” stammered Tessa. It would be too humiliating to confess that she couldn’t afford to eat lunch out. Now that she was completely on her own, money was tighter than ever.
Julia seemed to sense her dilemma and laid a small, gentle hand on Tessa’s forearm. “My treat. There’s a cute little café about a block from here that I love. Nathan thinks it’s too fussy and never wants to eat there with me. But they have really yummy desserts so you’d be doing me a huge favor if you’d go with me.”
Tessa hesitated, not at all convinced that Julia wasn’t just feeling sorry for her. It had to be quite obvious to the always beautifully dressed designer – with her chic sheath dresses, sexy high heels and perfectly coordinated accessories – that Tessa wasn’t exactly in the same sort of financial circumstances. Her own clothes were very plain and inexpensive, and someone who had an eye for fashion like Julia did would have been sure to pick up on that fact. The navy pencil skirt and simple navy pumps were both items she wore often, though the pretty yellow blouse with the ruffle down the front was new. It had been an impulse buy a couple of weeks ago – a futile attempt to cheer herself up. Fortunately the blouse had cost less than ten dollars on a clearance rack at Forever 21.
“I don’t know,” she demurred, looking down at her shoes. “I do have a lot of work to do.”
“Do you want me to clear it with Andrew?” offered Julia. “He doesn’t scare me in the least, you know, even though everyone else around here seems to be terrified of him.”
Tessa gave a little laugh, probably the first time she’d done so in a month. “Andrew’s not so bad. He just has high expectations. The first manager I had when I joined the company was much worse than he was. And – no, I don’t need to check with him. I’d like to have lunch with you, thanks. Where should I meet you?”
Julia beamed and gave her the name and address of the little bakery café, arranging to meet just after one o’clock. She wrinkled her nose in distaste a moment later, though, as she glanced across the conference room.
“God, that guy gives me the creeps,” she confided in a hushed tone. “At last month’s meeting he actually came up to me afterwards and put his arm around my waist. I thought Nathan was going to break a couple of his fingers.”
Tessa followed Julia’s gaze and frowned. “Ah, Mr. Baldwin. Yes, he has something of a reputation around here. You’re lucky you have your boyfriend to watch out for you.”
“Does he harass you, too?” asked Julia in concern.
Tessa shrugged. “He tries, but I do my best to avoid him. I think Andrew’s been told to keep him away from all the women on this floor.”
“Hmm, I can see why. It doesn’t seem to concern him in the least if a woman is married or otherwise spoken for, does it? And he must think he’s God’s gift to women, but he isn’t that good looking,” sniffed Julia. “My Nathan is ten times more attractive. And I can’t understand why any woman in this office would look twice at a creep like Jason Baldwin when they have a hunk like Ian to stare at instead.”
Tessa cursed her fair skin as she felt a warm flush stain her cheeks. Aware that Julia must expect some sort of response, she stammered awkwardly, “Um, yes. I – uh, agree.”
To mask the sudden discomfort she felt at the mention of her boss’ name, Tessa turned her attention back to cleaning up the refreshment table. Julia thankfully took the hint and left, reminding her about their lunch engagement at one o’clock.
But a few minutes later, after everyone else had left the room, Tessa pondered the wisdom of going to lunch with the very perceptive Julia. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the bubbly, beautiful designer. On the contrary, Julia had been exceedingly kind to her from the very first time they had met back in February. And her boyfriend – Nathan – had always treated Tessa like a gentleman, never trying to flirt with her or ogle her the way so many others did. The entire design team for the Napa hotel had monthly meetings here at the office with management, and Tessa was nearly always assigned the job of setting up the room, taking meeting notes, and then cleaning up afterwards. Julia always sought her out, taking a few minutes to chat and thanking her for helping. Tessa was flattered by the attention, for she didn’t really have any friends of her own, especially no one as pretty and outgoing as Julia. Tessa just knew somehow that Julia had been one of the popular girls in high school, while Tessa had always been a loner, an outsider.
She thankfully wasn’t as socially awkward as she’d been back then – years of working so closely with others had helped improve her social skills a lot – but she was still extremely shy and not especially clever at conversation. Tessa just hoped she wouldn’t be too boring for the vivacious Julia. She knew from past conversations as well as snippets of gossip she’d overheard that the designer had attended an Ivy League college, spoke fluent French, and was a talented artist. Not to mention having a wardrobe that Gina, Alicia and Shelby were all green with envy over.
Plus, Tessa was more than a little concerned that Julia suspected something was bothering her. She’d done her very best to conceal how devastated she was about the breakup with Peter, and hadn’t said a word about it to any of her co-workers. She rarely discussed anything about her personal life anyway, and her separation and impending divorce were still too new, too raw for her to be able to discuss them with anyone. She very much feared, however, that Julia McKinnon had already surmised something was wrong, given the way Tessa had reacted to the comment about being married.
She had just finished tidying up the conference room, and was about to return to her desk, when Ian Gregson strode briskly into the room. He stopped short at seeing her, his expression as reserved and impassionate as always.
“Tessa. I didn’t realize you’d still be here.”
She simply couldn’t help the little thrill that shimmered up her spine at the sound of his deep, cultured voice. Or the way her heart rate picked up at the sight of his tall, broad-shouldered body clothed in his elegant charcoal gray suit, impeccable white dress shirt, and expertly knotted tie.
She blushed yet again as she realized he was gazing at her somewhat impatiently, evidently expecting some sort of reply. “I, um, was just leaving, sir. Can I – is there something you needed?”
He frowned slightly, already looking around the head of the table where he always sat. “I seem to have misplaced my pen. Did you happen to find it when you were tidying up?”
Tessa shook her head. “No, I didn’t, sir. But I’ll be happy to help you look for it.”
Ian waved a hand in dismissal. “It’s no bother. I’m certain it will turn up somewhere.”
From the corner of her eye she spotted an object on the thick carpet beneath the table that could be a pen. Dropping to her hands and knees, Tessa crawled the short distance, her hand closing around the pen at the exact same moment Ian squatted down beside her.
“Here it is.”
“I’ve got it.”
They spoke simultaneously, his hand brushing over hers as they both reached for the pen at the same time. Flustered by the feel of his warm hand on hers – however fleetingly – she glanced downwards only to have her mortification increase by leaps and bounds. For not only had her slim fitting skirt ridden up her thighs several inches, but the neckline of her pretty yellow blouse gapped open enough to reveal the lace of her bra. She could only hope that Mr. Gregson hadn’t noticed, but those hopes were quickly dashed when she realized his gaze was fixed firmly on her cleavage.
She knew her face must be red as a beet as she somewhat awkwardly got to her feet, smoothing her skirt down as she did so. Ian, too, stood up abruptly, then uttered a hasty “thank you” before striding out of the room in his usual authoritative manner.
Tessa was still cursing herself for her gauche, awkward behavior when she left to meet Julia for lunch. She had lost count of the times she’d made a fool of herself in Mr. Gregson’s presence – always stammering or blushing or acting like she didn’t have an ounce of sense. It was small wonder that Andrew had never once assigned her to fill in for him when he was on vacation or away on business. Marisol or Gina typically filled in, though Kevin and Alicia had also helped out before. There was no possible way Andrew would ever trust Shelby to work as Mr. Gregson’s temporary PA but evidently Tessa hadn’t been deemed worthy, either. She had always assumed it was because she lacked the college degree that nearly all of the others had. Marisol was the only one besides Tessa who didn’t have a degree, but she did have seniority over everyone else and had obviously earned Andrew’s trust because of her length of service.
But now Tessa wondered if perhaps Mr. Gregson simply didn’t think she was bright enough or capable of handling the responsibility of being his temporary PA. God knew she’d done absolutely nothing to change his impression of her, given how tongue tied she always was when he was nearby. She hoped fervently that he only thought she was a silly, not especially bright girl rather than suspect the truth – that she had a massive crush on him. The former was embarrassing – the latter would be utterly devastating if he ever knew.
And for some reason, her crush seemed to have magnified tenfold ever since Peter had left last month. Perhaps it was the subliminal knowledge that she was now truly alone that was the cause of several erotic dreams she’d had in recent weeks about her very compelling boss. The most recent one had occurred just two nights ago, and recalling the specifics of it made her cheeks grow hot and her panties grow damp.
She’d been nude, laid out on the huge conference room table, her arms and legs spread wide. It was as though invisible bonds had been tied around her limbs, holding her in place. Ian had still been fully clothed, except for his jacket and tie, his crisp white shirt partially unbuttoned to reveal a ribbon of dark hair bisecting his muscular chest. His hands and mouth had been everywhere, it seemed – kissing her lips, cupping her breasts, sliding between her eagerly parted legs. He’d kissed his way down her body, licking her nipples until she’d squirmed with arousal, and then his head had ventured between her thighs.
Her dream had ended rather abruptly at that point, and she’d woken to find herself wet, her nipples taut, her full breasts even heavier and swollen. She had tentatively touched herself – one hand on her breast, tweaking a nipple, and the other between her legs, stimulating her clit. She had been startled at the swiftness and strength of her orgasm, how easily it had happened.
She’d groaned then, burying her face in her pillow, and trying not to feel ashamed. During their infrequent sexual encounters, Peter had never once been able to bring her to climax and had never wanted to give or receive oral sex. That she should dream about Ian Gregson going down on her was probably telling in some way, but Tessa didn’t have a clue as to why. Sex was something she continued to be rather naïve about and definitely inexperienced, despite the fact that she and Peter had been together for a long time.
Tessa found the quaint little bakery/café easily and saw right away why Julia’s boyfriend might not care for it. The outside awning was pink and the ruffled curtains at every window a floral print. Julia was just arriving, too, and Tessa marveled at how fluidly she could walk in her towering pale pink stilettos. She looked amazing in a form fitting sheath dress of gray lace, and drew admiring stares from every man she passed.
Julia’s smile lit up her gorgeous face when she spied Tessa, and she gave her hand a little squeeze. “I’m so glad you were able to come. I’ve been wanting to have lunch with you for ages but work has been so crazy all summer. Let’s go inside, shall we?”
The café was cozy and charming, with small tables draped in pink floral cloths, each with a vase of pastel flowers as a centerpiece, and attractively set with white dishes and gleaming flatware. It wasn’t in the least bit stuffy or pretentious, and Tessa felt a sense of relief. She seldom went out to lunch with her co-workers except on special occasions like someone’s birthday, and the others all seemed to favor trendy, upscale restaurants where the atmosphere wasn’t nearly as relaxed and comfortable as this place.
Tessa continued to glance around the small interior as they were seated before smiling at Julia gratefully. “This is so lovely. It feels like someone’s home instead of a restaurant.”
Julie nodded enthusiastically. “It does, right? I thought the same thing the first time I ate here. But Nathan thinks it’s too girly, reminds him of his grandmother’s house.”
Tessa laughed softly. “I must say I can’t see him being comfortable here with so much pink and lace. Even the menu is printed in fancy pink script.”
She didn’t add that she had no real idea of what a grandmother’s house might look like, since she’d never known either of her grandmothers. Or her father, for that matter. It had always been just Tessa and her mother, until there had only been Tessa.
Forcing herself to stop thinking about sad things and enjoy this rare opportunity to actually get out and do something fun, she studied the menu carefully. Fortunately, the café specialized in comfort food, nothing too fancy or exotic.
“Everything is delicious here,” Julia offered helpfully. “Sandwiches, quiche, crepes. You can’t go wrong no matter what you order.”
Tessa grinned at the enthusiasm in her companion’s voice. “Sounds like you eat here a lot.”
“Quite a bit. My boss Travis loves it, too, and especially his partner Anton. They don’t mind all the girly touches.”
Tessa ordered the chicken salad croissant and Julia the smoked salmon quiche, along with a tall glass of sparkling French lemonade for both of them. They ate hungrily, and Tessa reflected on how many meals she’d been skipping lately. Her sadness and depression over Peter had contributed to most of that, but she’d also had to trim her already lean budget even further. She’d lost a few pounds as a result.
“I’m sorry if I said something to upset you earlier today,” Julia told her quietly as they waited for their dessert to be served. “Maybe it was my imagination but you looked like you were going to collapse when I made that comment about being married. Is – is everything all right?”
Tessa nervously twisted the pale pink linen napkin between her fingers. “Um, it’s – not something I -”
Julia placed a hand on her forearm. “God, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to butt in. I was just worried about you, that’s all.”
Tears welled up in Tessa’s eyes, touched at Julia’s kindness. “No, it’s okay. It’s just – hard for me to talk about, you know? I haven’t told anyone else – there really isn’t anyone else to talk to.” She bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “My husband – we’re getting a divorce. We, um – broke up about a month ago.”
Julia gasped. “Oh, Tessa. I’m so sorry, honey. What an idiot I am, putting my foot in my mouth that way. Are you okay?”
Tessa shook her head, unable to stop the tears spilling down her cheeks. “No, not really. It’s been so hard, Julia. I miss him a lot. He’s – well, he was all I had. I don’t have any family at all, haven’t for years, so I’m all by myself now.”
“You were close then – you and your husband?”
“Yes, very,” replied Tessa tearfully. “Peter was my best friend as well as my husband. My only friend, really. I hardly even know anyone else here in San Francisco.”
Julia looked aghast. “That’s awful, honey. I had no idea, no idea at all. God, I can’t even imagine not having my family or friends. Don’t you have friends back in – was it Tucson or Phoenix you were from?”
“Tucson. And no, I really didn’t have any close friends back there, either. For so long it was always just Peter and me.”
“How long were you married?” asked Julia curiously.
Tessa hesitated before replying, knowing the answer would be startling. “Seven years.”
Julia stared at her in disbelief. “Seven? How old are you anyway? I always thought you were a little younger than I was.”
The subject of her marriage was always an awkward one for Tessa to discuss, and now was no exception. “I’m, um, twenty-four. I was seventeen when Peter married me.”
“Seventeen!” Julia was visibly shocked. “God, you were just a child. Is that why – Jesus, never mind. I can’t believe I’m asking you stuff like this.”
“It’s okay. And no, it wasn’t because I got pregnant. It’s – complicated.”
“And none of my business,” declared Julia. “I really don’t mean to pry, Tessa. I’m just concerned is all. And it sounds like you could really use a friend right now, so please know that I’m here for you whenever you need me, okay?”
Tessa forced a teary smile. “You’re so nice, Julia. I can see why Mr. Atwood fell in love with you.”
Julia gave her a wink. “Well, it was definitely mutual – love at first sight and all that mushy stuff. Ah, here’s our dessert. Nothing like a big old sugar rush to make you feel better.”
The desserts came in huge portions so they had agreed to split the towering slice of black forest torte. Julia dug into the cake with gusto while Tessa merely picked at it, her appetite having waned abruptly after the discussion about her impeding divorce.
“Come on, don’t make me be a pig and eat all of this myself,” urged Julia. “Nathan already teases me about my ass getting bigger.”
Tessa gave her a small smile and obediently ate a forkful. “It’s really good. Thanks for this. Not just lunch but, - well, for being so kind to me.”
“It’s easy to be nice to nice people,” assured Julia. “And you’ve always been so sweet to me every time I’m over for a meeting. Not like those bitches you work with. I’m not sure which one I dislike more – Gina or Alicia.”
Tessa sipped her tea. “They’re practically joined at the hip so take your pick. And they’re roommates to boot.”
“Figures. Though if I had to pick the nastier one it would be that sneaky little witch Gina. She tries to flirt with Nathan every time we’re in the office, even though it’s very obvious he’s with me now. At least Alicia keeps her distance.”
“That’s because she’s got her sights fixed on Mr. Gregson instead,” Tessa blurted out. “But he never dates employees so she’s out of luck.”
Julia smiled mysteriously. “Hmm, bet I know of one employee he’d be willing to bend that rule for. Does Ian know you’re getting a divorce?”
Tessa shook her head, frowning. “No, of course not. I haven’t told anyone in the office yet. My co-workers tend to gossip a lot so I try not to discuss my personal life with them.”
“Wise move. I wouldn’t trust those two evil bitches for twenty seconds. And I know how fast office gossip can spread. My boss is a huge blabbermouth, I can’t tell him anything really confidential or it would be all over the place within five minutes.”
Tessa paused before asking her next question. “What did you mean about Mr. Gregson? The part about him making an exception to his rule.”
“You really have no idea?” Julia regarded her curiously. “Well, our Mr. Gregson would deny it, of course, being that he’s so prim and proper and always plays by the rules. But I’ve caught him more than a few times looking your way when you didn’t notice and – well, let’s just say I think he’d be very interested to know you’re going to be a single lady soon.”
Tessa stared at Julia in shock, her mouth hanging open in surprise. Slowly, she shook her head. “You’ve got to be mistaken. Badly. Mr. Gregson barely even speaks to me. And he is definitely not attracted to me.”
Julia took a sip of her coffee and grinned wickedly. “If you say so. But I’d be willing to bet he’d speak to you a whole lot more if he got wind of your impending divorce.”
“Please don’t tell him,” pleaded Tessa. “Not just him but anyone in the office. I’ll tell them when the time is right but – well, it’s just hard for me to confide in people. And even harder to talk about something as painful as this.”
“I get it. And I won’t say anything, even to Nathan. I swear, sometimes I think men are even worse gossips than women.”
Tessa offered to split the check but Julia was adamant that this was her treat, plunking down a credit card casually.
“Thank you, Julia. Not just for lunch but for letting me cry on your shoulder. Not literally, of course,” added Tessa with a little smile.
“But pretty close, huh? It was my pleasure. Look, I want to give you my cell number, okay? And I really do want you to call me if you ever need to talk or want to hang out. We can go have coffee or get a drink or just take a long walk. Do you like yoga?”
Tessa took the business card Julia handed her, the cell number written on the back. “I love yoga. I can’t really afford it, though, so I mostly look for places that offer free or demo classes. What about you?”
“Yeah, it’s kind of my obsession. I go to class almost every day. You should come to my studio with me some weekend soon. My weekend teacher Sasha is awesome. She kicks my ass every single time I take her class. I can get you a complimentary pass if you’d like.”
“I’d love that,” beamed Tessa. “I, um, don’t really have any girlfriends so I appreciate your offer to – you, know, hang out.”
“Well, I don’t have very many myself,” confessed Julia. “So I’d really, really like to call you my friend. Okay?”
Tessa felt just a little bit less lonely as she smiled at her new friend. “Okay.”