Filming had continued for another hour, and all I’d wanted to do was get home, sit with a bottle of wine, and drown my sorrows whilst plotting a drunken plan of attack for tomorrow.
As I crossed the studio floor, and for the first time since I had shared my water with him, Alex made eye contact with me. I quickly left. If he spoke to me now, I’d probably say the wrong thing, and I didn’t want to make things worse than they already were. We both needed time away from each other to cool down.
I headed down the corridor, past Alex’s dressing room, toward the double doors that led outside. Erin was waiting for me. She waved, and then stepped outside.
As I stepped through the doors, the fresh cooling summer evening air swept over me. Freedom. Free from the hot lights, the inflated egos, the angry moods, and hateful characters. I breathed in through my nose, and immediately wished I hadn’t. I coughed as I turned to Erin. She was leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette. She waved at me, silently asking if I wanted a drag.
“No, thanks,” I shook my head. “I don’t smoke.”
Erin wafted her hand through the haze she had created. “Another reason why you and Alex should be together.”
“What? Just because I don’t smoke?”
“No, silly. But he hates that I smoke. He once sat in his chair with an old gas mask on. Boy, did he think he was funny that day.”
I sniggered, imagining him doing just that to get his point across.
“How did it go this afternoon?” she asked before drawing in another long pull on the cigarette.
“Strange,” I said. “It’s almost like he wants to forget everything that we’ve done. He’s telling me that he doesn’t want to talk to me, or see me again, yet he’s the one instigating conversations with me. Well, he was. He’s managed to ignore me most of the afternoon. God knows how I’m going to get to talk to him about anything.”
Erin listened as I rattled on.
“I’ve got tomorrow off. I mean, seriously, it couldn’t have come at a worse time for me. I need to talk to him. Then there’s the closed set the day after. There’s no way I can watch that. Not now.”
Erin stubbed her cigarette out under her shoe. “Hmmm, that’s something I’d pay not to watch. Alex will be dreading it.”
“He seemed okay when we talked about it.”
“Did he now? What did he say?” Erin started walking toward an old black car and I followed her.
“He just seemed calm about it, like it was another normal scene he would be acting out.”
“Really? He was just putting a brave face on for you. He hates sex scenes at the best of times. He says they’re always so false. And with Amy? Good God, can you imagine how difficult that’ll be for him?”
I shook my head. He hated her so much. How the hell would he manage a sex scene with her?
“He said he’d understand if I didn’t want to stay in the studio whilst they were filming.”
Erin chuckled. “Ella, he’s so sweet at times. He was worried about your feelings. He’s got it bad. I think he was just acting all professional in front of you, so as not to freak you out.”
I remained silent, thinking about what she had said. I had no idea whether her assumption was correct. She seemed so sure of Alex and how he behaved, but then she had known him for years. They obviously got along together, maybe she had a better insight him than I did.
“What did you decide?” Erin asked.
“To stay away. I was going to wait in his dressing room for him.”
She spun to face me. “Ella Summer, tomorrow you lick your wounds and you build your inner army. You do not mope around your flat, you do not watch videos, you do not dwell on the negatives. And on Wednesday morning you make damn sure you’re here, and you stay in that studio. You have to be there. It’s the only way. Amy will hate it, and Alex will be very much aware that you’re watching him and his performance. He has a lot to prove. It’s perfect. You have to be there!”
“No! I can’t. It’d be too . . . I don’t know, too painful.”
“Ella, it’s the only time that you and Alex will be in the same room before he goes to LA.”
I froze. Wednesday morning would be the last time I saw him. I bit into my bottom lip and curled my hands into fists. I had to make this right. But there was one massive problem.
“He’s not talking to me,” I said. “What difference will it make if I’m there or not?”
“Trust me, Ella. It will make a huge difference. Amy will either be completely freaked out that you’re there, or go completely over the top with her performance.”
“Exactly. I don’t think I can stand to watch her and Alex together like that. Not now.”
“But, Alex. That’s another matter completely.” She wiggled her eyebrows, completely ignoring what I had just said.
I frowned at her as she unlocked the car doors.
“I told you. Alex hates sex scenes with Amy. He once told me that she was warmer toward him when she was acting the scenes than she ever was in real life. It seems she saves herself for the cameras. Can you imagine how he will feel if you’re there watching. All he’ll be able to think about is that he wants you there with him, not her. His head will be screwed, Ella. The scenarios his mind will be going through whilst you watch will blow him away.”
I shook my head. Whilst what she’d told me about Amy didn’t surprise me, I didn’t want to create a problem for Alex.
“I don’t want to interfere with his job. This is his career.”
“Alex is a professional. If he’s struggling that much, he’ll ask you to leave. But I’m sure he won’t.”
She pulled a blanket out of the back of her car.
“I can only imagine what you’ll be like when you actually get together properly. God, the neighbours won’t know what’s hit them.”
I frowned, wondering how she knew we hadn’t slept together yet. Everyone else presumed we had. “How do you . . .?”
She nudged the side of her nose with her finger. “He tells me a lot, Ella. Like I said earlier, I know him very well. The fact that you haven’t slept together yet is just another thing that swings in favour of this working out long term. Neither of you are in a rush to get down and dirty.”
“I think we would have if I hadn’t started my period.”
“I’m not so sure. Alex’s quite a sensual man. He likes cuddles, and hugs. He needs reassurance.”
I groaned. Her statement made me realise what I’d lost. I’d witnessed his caring and tender side. I’d had hugs and cuddles with him less than twenty-four hours ago.
“Hey, don’t despair. I know it’s only a matter of time before you get back together. We just need to push him a bit. Make him see what’s in front of him.”
“I wish I was as confident about it as you seem,” I said.
She nodded to the floor of the car. “You need to squeeze yourself into the gap on the floor between the front and back seats. Then I’ll throw the blanket over you. Oh, and Ella, I’m very confident that you two will sort everything out. I just want it sorted before he goes to LA. I can’t bear to think that you won’t make up before he goes.” She shook her head as if shaking the thought away. “Now, come on, get in. I’ll let you know when it’s safe for you to get out from under the blanket.”
I frowned at the small space I needed to crawl into, but Erin pushed me forward. As soon as I was on the floor, she threw the blanket over me, ensuring my feet were covered.
“What it is to be famous, huh?” she said as she shut the door. The car dipped as she climbed into the driver’s seat, and seconds later the engine started.
I expected the car to move, but nothing happened.
“Erin?” I questioned above the noise of the engine.
“Shush!” she hissed. “Keep quiet. Alex is running across the car park toward us.”
“Shit,” I mumbled from my hiding place. I hoped Erin had covered me properly. I didn’t want him seeing me here. I also hoped that he would hurry up with whatever he was going to say. It wasn’t very comfortable curled up on the floor.
The front window squeaked as Erin wound it down.
“What’s up, Alex?” she asked, switching the engine off.
“It’s Ella. I can’t find her anywhere. She said you were giving her a lift home. Where is she?”
“Ella? Why aren’t you taking her home? That reminds me, have you got that list of things she wanted me to pick up for her? I need her address as well as her keys.”
“Fuck!” Alex shouted. There was a loud thud. I presumed he’d hit the car. “Surely, she’s not getting the bus.”
“Alex, calm down. What’s the problem?”
Sadness pushed through in his voice. “I’ve fucked up, Erin. I’ve well and truly fucked up.”
“Alex!” Erin shouted. “If you’ve messed up with Ella, I will personally kill you. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you!”
“I know, I know. But Erin, I panicked, I . . . I, Fuck. I said some awful things to her. Things I didn’t mean. I even called her Work Experience Girl!”
The car door clicked open, there was a rustle of clothes, and then the sound of skin slapping skin.
“How could you?” Erin was shouting. “You stupid, idiotic man!”
“Erin, I know how stupid I’ve been. There’s no need to slap me.”
“You deserved it.” The car dipped as she sat back into the driver’s seat.
Even though I wanted to climb out from under the blanket and grab Alex in a huge hug to tell him everything was okay, I couldn’t. He’d probably be even angrier that I’d just heard what he’d said to Erin.
“What does it matter if she gets the bus?” Erin asked him. She was playing dumb so wonderfully.
“What does it matter? Are you fucking crazy?” Alex exclaimed. “The pap’s will be all over her!”
“So? What’s the problem with that? You scared she’s going to blab about you to them?”
“No! Fuck, no! I couldn’t give a shit about that. I’m worried about her. She doesn’t seem to realise how deeply involved she is in everything. I’m worried for her. The paps are vultures, Erin. You know that.”
“I’m sure she’ll be fine, Alex.”
“But where is she?” I could hear the desperation in his voice. “If Rowan’s given her a lift home, I’ll kill him. He can never keep his crisp munching hands to himself. He’ll not let her out of the car until he’s had a quick grope.”
“Jealous?” Erin shot at him.
Alex was silent for a few seconds. “You know I am,” he answered softly. “I can’t bear the thought of anyone else touching her. It’s not right. It’s not how it’s meant to be.”
“Just because you haven’t, huh?”
“Erin, you know it’s more than that.”
“It sounds like you’ve been a complete ass, Alex.”
“I know. I couldn’t help it. And now I can’t find her to talk to her.”
I really wanted to uncover myself now. His words were all I needed to hear. He did care about me.
“Well, you’d better sort it out before you go to LA,” Erin said.
Alex sighed. “I doubt I’ll see her. Rowan’s just told me he’s given her the day off tomorrow, then it’s the closed set on Wednesday. She’s already told me she’ll not be there.”
“Maybe she’ll change her mind.”
“Maybe.” There was silence again. “I hope she’s okay. Do you have her mobile number? I could call her, talk to her.”
“No, didn’t you get it from her? Isn’t it on the info sheet?"
“They never make that bit available to us.”
“Well, maybe it’s a good thing you can’t call her. Do you honestly think that talking to her when you can’t see her or judge her reaction is a good idea?”
“Fuck, Erin! I need to know she’s okay. You know I can’t call around at hers. Not with all the paps there. What if she’s gone to a friend’s house or something and I’m left on the doorstep. And even if she’s there, she may not let me in.”
“Wait until Wednesday, Alex. Maybe then she’ll have calmed down by then.”
“If you see her first, will you tell her I want to talk to her?”
“When am I going to see her?”
“If you do, please tell her.”
“Of course I will. Now off you go. Don’t worry. I’m sure she knows exactly how you feel.”
The engine lurched to life again, and we started to move.
“Now do you believe me?” Erin asked.
I nodded, but didn’t verbally respond. I was running through everything he had said to Erin. I cursed under my breath. I should have thrown the blanket off, I should have shot from the car and thrown myself around him, wrapped my legs around his hips and kissed him frantically. Too late now. My heart sank, and I closed my eyes, blocking the nagging doubt that wouldn’t leave me. If he left for LA before we’d sorted this out, I didn’t think I’d ever see him again.
The car rumbled forward. The familiar shouts of the paps sounded out, but they soon died down.
“Can I get out from under this blanket?” I asked, rubbing at my shoulder that was wedged against the back of the passenger seat.
“No!” Erin exclaimed. “I’ve got Alex behind me. I hope he’s not following me. We may need to take a detour before we head back to yours. I need to look like I’m going home, otherwise he’ll suspect something.”
I groaned from my uncomfortable condition. Erin started chuckling. “Take some comfort from knowing that I’ve had to sneak Alex out of the studio in the same way that I’m doing you. Can you imagine him squashed into the tiny space that you’re in? I told him it was either on the floor where you are, or in the boot. He chose the floor. He’s slightly claustrophobic.”
I tried to imagine how Alex managed to scrunch himself up into the space I was in. It must have been near impossible considering his height and long legs.
Erin drove for a few more minutes, apologising every time we went over a bump on the road. “I must say that you’re a quieter passenger than Alex. The air in here was practically blue with the language that flew from his mouth. He was so bloody ungrateful that I wished I’d shoved a cloth or something in his mouth to shut him up. You know, pretend I’d kidnapped him.”
I could just imagine his language. I was pretty near saying some choice words myself.
“Is he still following us?” I asked, desperate to be able to climb out of my hiding place.
“Yep. Although, he should take a left turn at the next set of traffic lights if he’s going where I think he is. Keep your head down just in case he pulls up alongside us.”
I did as Erin told me. Luckily, the car didn’t stop, and Erin informed me that I could, at long last, uncover myself.
I threw the blanket off my body and uncurled from my scrunched-up position before sitting on the back seat. “Are you sure he’s gone?” I asked as my eyes adjusted to the light and I scanned the road behind us.
“Yes. He must be going to see Megan,” Erin said.
“His sister?”
“Yes. She’s his biggest confident. I suspect he’ll have rather a lot to tell her this week.”
“Have you ever met her? What’s she like?”
“They’re very close. I like her. She’s nice, well if she likes you she is. If she doesn’t like you, I could imagine that she would be the biggest bitch on earth.”
And now I worried about the possibility of ever meeting her. What if Alex told her how I had upset him?
“She’ll love you.”
“But why? I’ve upset Alex. She won’t like that.”
“I think that if Alex explains his own reaction to everything, she’ll more than likely hit him, not you. I love her, but I think that’s more to do with the time she attacked Amy.”
“You’re kidding?”
“No! She turned up at the studio one day during the second film, and just launched herself at Amy. Even Alex wasn’t strong enough to stop her. It took both him and Rowan to drag her off Amy. It was an amazing thing to witness.”
I grinned, imagining the sight. I’d have loved to have seen it.
“So, which way to yours?” Erin asked.
I leaned forward between the front seats and directed her through the streets of London to my house.
Eventually, Erin slowed stopped the car in the street running parallel to mine. I’d insisted that she not drop me off right outside where I lived. It would mean that she’d get recognised, and not be able to help me, or Alex, get away from the studio un-noticed if we ever needed to in the future. She’d understood my point, although wasn’t happy at leaving me to face what would be outside my house.
After thanking her most profusely for all her help and support, I headed along the street. I smoothed my t-shirt across my chest, pulled my jacket straight and prepared myself as best I could for what would be waiting for me. This time, I wouldn’t have Alex for support. I didn’t even have a hat to hide under, or dark glasses to hide behind. Instead of looking down, I decided to hold my head up high, smile willingly at the photographers, and not say anything.
Unfortunately, I underestimated the size of the crowd that greeted me. There must have been at least twenty men with camera’s standing directly outside. There was even a television van parked across the road.
This was ridiculous.
I inhaled and held my head high. I fought my nerves, and tried to steady myself before strolling toward the madness. It didn’t take long for one of them to spot me. As the man moved forward, clicking his camera, shouting my name, the rest of them followed.
“A few words for us please, Ella!”
“Smile!”
“Turn this way, love.”
“What’s it like to be the envy of every woman in the world?”
“Just one picture!”
“Is he treating you properly? Are you sure he’s not sleeping around like he always does?”
“Where is he tonight?”
I didn’t focus on the sea of unfamiliar faces. I kept my vision forward, staring at the safety of my front door. I was so glad that I lived in the flat in the roof of the house. It would be a nightmare for the old man who lived downstairs. I was certain that they would have had camera’s flashing through his windows.
“C’mon, a few words, please?” one man asked.
I turned to him, ignoring the flash that practically blinded me.
“What would you like me to say?” I asked. Every one of them threw more questions at me. There were so many of them talking that I couldn’t make out even one question. I glanced at each of them in turn before feeling a sharp prod in my side. A young boy of about ten years old, was poking me with his finger.
“My mum sent me to get your autograph,” he said. “She wants to know what it’s like to kiss Alex Denton.”
The grown men around me stopped talking, each of them waited for my answer. I took the pen from the boy as he thrust an autograph book into my hand.
“What’s your name?” I asked, looking at the page that was currently open in his book.
“Tim,” he announced proudly. The page that he had ready for me to sign already had Alex’s name scrawled across it. He had written a message.
'To Tim. You brave and strong man. Tell your mother that I don’t bite! She should come and talk to me. Alex xxxx'
I wrote my message under his.
'To Tim, and his mum. Don’t believe everything you read about Alex. Ella xxx'
I crouched down to his height, and whispered. “Tell your mum that Alex is a very lovely kisser.”
He screwed his nose up before running through the reporters and back to his mother. I pushed my way through them as well. Luckily, they all remained at the gate to the house, not venturing up the steps to the door.
I breathed easier when I slipped my key in the lock, ready to gain entry to the communal hallway. I seriously needed some time to myself to think things through. I wanted a warm bath, something to eat, several drinks, and then bed. Just as I was about to shoulder push the door, someone pulled it open from the inside.
“Ella, we meet again.”