On Thursday afternoon, Alex and I braved the mass of gathered photographers at Heathrow airport. Megan had organised for us to take a private plane to Portugal and then a normal, registered plane back to Heathrow. Anyone checking where our flight came from when we landed back in England would only know we’d flown from Portugal, not Sao Miguel. It kept Alex’s hideaway island a secret. When we’d left Sao Miguel, there wasn’t one person around to take our photo, but it seemed that everyone was here.
It was chaos. I had never been so frightened in my life. Alex held my hand as airport security struggled to keep the photographers away from us. It was only when we climbed into the assigned waiting car that I began to relax.
“I’ll run the bastards over if they don’t move,” a familiar voice spoke from the driver’s seat.
“Anthony!” Alex exclaimed. “What the fuck?”
“And me,” a female voice muttered from the passenger seat.
“Megan!” I shrieked.
“Okay!” Alex snapped. “Why have you two picked us up? You never mentioned it in your texts to Ella.”
“We wanted to surprise you. It was Anthony’s idea,” Megan explained as she spun around in her seat. Anthony drove the car forward very slowly.
“Why isn’t he out there with all the other scum?” Alex asked.
Anthony laughed at Alex’s reaction.
“I’ve hung my camera up. Not doing it anymore.”
“What?” Alex and I chorused.
Megan rested her hand on Anthony’s thigh. “The situation he was in was becoming impossible. When Rowan rang him the other night, he realised he had to make a decision. He had to either run with the story, publishing everything to drop Rowan and Amy in it, or do it the way he has, only provide the information to the people that need to know.”
“And, Megan wanted me to do something else,” Anthony added as if Megan’s explanation wasn’t quite enough.
Megan nudged Anthony’s arm. “I was going to tell them that later.”
I remained quiet as Alex looked about to explode. “What the fuck haven’t you told us now!” he yelled.
“Anthony has a new job. He’s going to be Ella’s security man.”
“What?” I exclaimed.
“You need someone to protect you from all the idiots out there. There are fans camping outside Alex’s house, and there are even more outside yours Ella. At least Anthony can always be around when you need to go out.”
I turned to Alex. Even though I didn’t like to admit that my life had changed dramatically, there was no pretending that I could carry on like I’d done before. I needed someone like Anthony to look out for me. He’d already proved how capable he was in the days before Alex and I went away.
Alex slowly nodded. “It makes sense. I’m not always going to be around to help you through the madness. Fans are a worry as well. I’m confident that all they want is to talk to you and have their photo taken with you, but we always need to be careful. I’ll not take any risks with your safety, Ella.”
I leaned toward Alex, and pecked him on his newly shaven cheek. “I love you,” I whispered.
“Excellent,” Megan said. “Now, let’s get Ella home.”
“Oh, there’s one thing you both need to know,” Alex said. “Ella’s going to move out of her flat. She’s living with me now.”
* * *
Anthony steered the car up the drive and parked outside Alex’s front door. There were a ridiculous number of photographers in the street. There were obviously several groups of fans also hanging around, and five news channel trucks with satellite dishes on them.
“Fucking mental,” Alex muttered as he followed my gaze.
I felt sorry for the fans. I had never taken to camping outside anyone’s house to meet my idol. If I’d ever had the motivation, and time, and knowledge of where Alex had lived, I wondered whether I would have done exactly what they were doing. The only time I had ever done anything remotely similar was when I had gone to the premier showing of the first film. It was the time when he had briefly spoken to me and made me feel like the most special girl in the world. I remembered how precious that memory was. Camping outside his house would have seemed a small thing to do in the hope that he would notice me and perhaps speak to me.
“I think we should go and talk to the fans,” I said.
Megan turned around looking horrified with my suggestion, and Alex stared at me as if I’d grown another head.
“What? I don’t care about the paps out there, but the fans. Come on. That used to be me a few weeks ago.”
“You camped outside my house?”
“No! I didn’t know where you lived. But I did meet you once. A few years ago, at the premier of the first film, Starworld.”
“You met me?”
I nodded. “Yes, you posed for a photo with me on my camera, and then told me to enjoy the film.”
“You’re making this up,” he said. “I’d have remembered if I’d met you before.”
“Obviously not. I’ll find the photo if you don’t believe me.” I wouldn’t have any trouble finding it; I knew exactly where it was.
“I’d like to see it.” Alex said. “I’m curious to see what you looked like two years ago.”
“Pretty much the same as I do now,” I added.
Alex narrowed his eyes as if he still didn’t believe me. “You seriously want to go and speak to the fans?”
I nodded. “Why not? They’ll be happy about seeing you.”
“And you,” Megan said. “Let’s not forget how much of an attraction you are.”
I shrugged. I still failed to understand why they would want to talk to me. “We don’t have to spend forever out there, and hopefully it means they’ll leave afterwards. I don’t like the idea of them camping out there all night. I mean, I don’t care about the paps and news-reporters, but not the fans.” I glanced at the mass of people outside the drive. “Some of them look really young, Alex. It’s not fair to them.”
Alex nodded. “Okay, but I’m not making a habit out of this otherwise we’ll have hundreds of them hanging around.”
Megan shuffled in her seat to face me and Alex in the back. “I suppose you look presentable enough,” she said as she ran her gaze over both of us.
Alex rolled his eyes. “For fucks sake, Megan. I doubt they’ll be bothered about what we look like.”
“Ella has an image to maintain now. I’m taking her shopping as soon as I can to sort her wardrobe out.”
“Err, no you are not.” I said. “People will just have to accept me as I am. I’ll dress up when I have to, but not for everyday living.”
Megan pouted.
“Oh, behave Megan,” Alex scolded. “Ella looks great as she is.”
“Are you even wearing make-up?” she said.
“No,” I replied, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.
“You look tired.”
“Of course I do. I’ve been on two planes for half the day. Travelling is tiring.”
“So’s fucking the living daylights out of Alex,” Anthony chirped in.
Megan swatted him with her hand. “I just want you to look your best,” she said.
Alex shook his head. “She also needs to feel comfortable in her own skin, Megan. Leave her be.”
“I just want to go to bed to sleep,” I whispered. He nodded his understanding.
Anthony turned his baseball cap on his head so the peak was at the back of his neck before unlocking the door and speaking. “Right then you two. Let’s get this impromptu meet and greet under way.”
“I’ll be right next to you,” Alex reassured me taking my hand. “Let’s do this together.”
* * *
Two hours later, I was leaning against Alex’s chest as I relaxed against him. We were in the bath together, alone at last after Megan and Anthony had eventually left.
The past hour had been crazy. As soon as Megan knew I was moving in with Alex, she had driven back to my flat. She had grabbed the contents of my wardrobe and drawers, as well as my shoes and boots, and mine and Alex’s laptop. I’d have to call back there at some point and sort everything out. There were a few more things I needed to move to Alex’s, but not many. I’d never had that much to start with. Megan had also produced a new phone for Alex; one to replace the one he’d thrown against the wall the other day.
Alex was washing my stomach with a sponge, occasionally dipping his head forward to kiss the back of my head. I twisted my head sideways trying to look at him.
“That girl was so sweet.” I smiled, recalling one of the fans we had spoken to earlier.
“Which one, there were several.”
“The dark haired one. I think she said her name was Sid?”
Alex’s breath warmed the side of my face. “Sid?”
“Yes. At least that’s what I thought she said. She was so taken aback by you, she could hardly speak.”
“Oh, I know the one you mean. I prefer it when they’re quiet and shy. It’s much more comfortable having that sort of reaction rather than them eye fucking me.”
“Eye fucking you? How exactly do they do that?”
“You’ll soon find out. All the men will be drooling over you. When you get to meet them . . .” His voice faded off.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, twisting even more in his arms to try to face him.
“No, stay there,” he whispered, circling the wet sponge lower on my belly.
“Only if you tell me what’s wrong. I can tell something is bothering you.”
“It’s just . . . well, all the men. They’ll all have seen you practically naked. I don’t like it.”
I grinned at his response. “I can’t say I’m over keen on it either, but I have to cope with all those women seeing you naked as well, remember?”
“I know. And I know of all the clips they put together of me showing my ass. There are even ones when I’m supposedly thrusting into someone, and close ups of the way I kiss the actresses I’ve worked with.”
“Exactly!”
“I have to say that when I kissed you, it was nothing like how I kiss when I’m acting. What we did was real, Ella.”
I nodded. We had both been so lost in our feelings for each other, that we hadn’t needed to act much at all. It was the reason that the clip was so explosive and passionate.
“But when it’s footage of you that they’re going to be doing it with, men messing with graphics . . .” he shuddered.
I knew the sort of footage that was available out there. I’d watched a lot of it myself. There were some talented people out there in the Starshine fandom who supported everything Alex did. Nothing was missed.
“I’d like you to delete your twitter account,” he said. “No point torturing yourself with all the footage that you’ll be linked to.”
“I was thinking of deleting it before we went away. I don’t know any of the people enough to be able to tweet to them, let alone tweet anything privately. It’s sort of lost its purpose.”
“Thank you,” he whispered, lightly kissing the side of my forehead.
I turned over in the bath so that I was lying against him. Water splashed over the side as I manoeuvred myself.
“We need to do something, you know?” he said, his brow settling into a creased line.
I raised my eyes heavenwards; I hated it when he was this serious.
“Just chill out Alex, forget about it.” I encouraged.
“No, this is serious.”
I groaned, not wanting to hear anything else about what he was thinking. It wouldn’t be anything fun.
“We need to watch the footage that’s been leaked. See what all the fuss is about. I’m sure we’ll get asked about it, and we’re going to need to be able to comment on it. We can’t, unless we watch it.”
He was suggesting that we watched the three-minute clip of us performing the sex scene. I’d seen how erotic the scene was, I’d edited most of it. But Alex hadn’t seen any of it, and I had no idea which version Rowan had released to the public.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Yes. Seriously. Now get your fabulous, luscious body off mine, and get dry. I’ll hook my laptop up to the screen. We can watch it together whilst in bed.”
“It’ll be like watching our own sex tape,” I said, unsure as to whether the idea excited me or freaked me out.
“Move,” he said, pecking me on the lips. “This is going to be fucking amazing to watch.”
He twisted away from me and climbed out of the bath. He was rushing, urgent to see the footage. He threw a towel at me as he left the bathroom.
I was in no rush to see myself on the screen.
“Come on!” he shouted.
I groaned before standing up and drying myself. With no need to get dressed, I wandered into the bedroom, climbed onto the bed, and settled on the pillows that Alex had fluffed up against the headboard.
The butterflies in my stomach were currently out of control, and I breathed deeply, trying not to let my nerves break free and spoil this for Alex. As a fan, the idea about watching Alex acting out an explicit sex scene excited me tremendously. But as his girlfriend and co-star in the sex scene, I felt sick. There were potentially thousands of people that had already watched this and seen me and Alex making love. Everyone knew it was only acting, but it was still incredibly personal.
“Are you nervous about this?” I asked as he moved around the room sorting things out.
He stopped what he was doing, and his hand pushed his damp hair away from his forehead. “I’m not particularly nervous about it, more curious. Why? Are you?”
I nodded. “I spent a full day editing this in the production room, remember? I know what was shot. I know how X-rated it is. Do you think it’ll be the raw footage or the edited version?”
“I hope it’s the edited version,” Alex muttered as he finished setting up the cable connecting his laptop to the television.
“Why? Surely that would be the worst thing for the film when it’s released. Everyone will have seen the exact sex scene. Wasn’t that one of the major parts of it? It was what the fans tweeted about the most after reading the book.”
Alex joined me on the bed, shaking his head.
“You are too innocent at times, Ella.” He spoke softly. “Think about it. Forget about the Starshine machine, and think about it from our point of view. Would you prefer to see a pretty decent edit of us acting? Or actual footage of us chatting and interacting during parts of the scene—the times throughout filming when we noticeably let our guard slip and we became ourselves for a few seconds?”
I frowned. “Rowan wouldn’t release those parts, surely?”
Alex shrugged, flicking a small remote that he was holding. “We need to watch it to find out. Let’s see just how much Rowan wanted to screw us, shall we?”
I breathed in deeply, shifted closer to Alex, and wrapped my arms around him. His hand rested on the top of my arm as the video clip started playing.
The image of Alex’s naked top half of his body filled the television screen. He looked gorgeous, and I couldn’t help but smile as the camera zoomed in for a close-up.
“Fucking shit!” Alex exclaimed. “He’s done what I hoped he wouldn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“That part of the scene is when . . .” his voice trailed off, but he had no need to continue as I came into view on the television. The camera moved sideways. I knew exactly which part this was—it was just before I positioning myself for the blow job.
Rowan had well and truly stitched us up.
These weren’t the edited scenes.
The part we were watching was us, Alex and Ella, not Ryan and Evelyn. I remembered the exact words he had spoken as I’d moved into position—they were the words he had teased me with, telling me that I was going to get what was coming to me. I recalled how he had struggled with his emotions at that point of filming and how I had blown across his abdomen, earning a wriggle from him. Unfortunately, I had no need to remember any of it as it was all played out on the television. It was all our playful interaction before Rowan yelled, 'Action.’
Alex’s grip on my arm tightened for a few seconds, and then relaxed as he caressed my skin.
“On a positive point, you look fucking amazing,” Alex said, relaxing back into the pillows even further.
“Are you okay about this?” I asked, amazed that he hadn’t thrown something through the television screen.
“I’m surprised that Rowan released this in the first place, but even more shocked that he’s chosen to show our real interactions with each other. But what can we do, huh? I think I’ll just lie back and enjoy the show. Because damn it, Ella, you look stunning.”
And even though I didn’t want to watch, I found myself mesmerised by the images on the screen. It was almost surreal, like it wasn’t me. But Alex was right about one thing. We looked great together. In fact, we looked amazing.