I LOST A part of my calm in the reflection of Andrew’s gaze, he didn’t stare at me like he wanted to part ways as friends.

He stared at me like I’d stolen something from him.

And he wanted it back.

I shivered again.

Too many memories surfaced, too many things I’d dealt with and locked away, because dealing with them once was painful enough. Reliving the past wasn’t exactly a hobby of mine, nor would it be to anyone who dealt with what I’d dealt with.

Hours after the group sat on the beach, surrounding me, flanking every side like my own private security detail, even going as far as to threaten death to anyone who looked our way — I was finally ready to shoot another scene.

With Will.

The rest of his bandmates had arrived.

They didn’t have to be on set.

But they were.

And it was suddenly too much, the curious stares, the sickness in the pit of my stomach that they were filled with judgment rather than grace.

“All right,” Jay’s evil eye hit every single person staring at us before he looked back to Will and his position in front of me like a shield. “Do me a favor, guys.”

Will tilted his head, his lips pressed in a thin line. He leaned forward his voice low. “You nail this scene, but not for me, not for the rest of the crew, nail this scene for you. You can’t beat this… thing.” He sighed. “There will always be monsters in this world — the only way to fight them is to make sure they know that in the end, they’ll never win.”

“But Will has no lines…” I pointed out. “Again.”

“I know.” His smile was back. “So do what you do best when I put a camera on you guys… talk it out.” He gulped. “Talk everything out.”

“Everything,” Will repeated.

“Everything,” I echoed.

“Everything.” Jay nodded. “If we have to cut out some minor details that don’t match with the story, I will… or just stare at her, you’re good at that too, Will.”

He gave him the finger.

Again, shirtless.

“This a new thing for you on screen?” I teased my knuckles grazing his stomach.

“Apparently.” Will grit his teeth. “I’m freezing my ass off, and Andrew keeps watching us like he’s going to pounce any second,” He shook his head, inhaled slowly. “I want to kill him. I do.”

“Stay out of jail, Will. He’s not worth it.” I exhaled a shaky breath. “And regardless of what happened in the past, I still made the choice… never forget that I’m not blameless in this. Yes, he led me down a path, but I sure as hell didn’t have to follow.”

Something flickered in Will’s eyes that looked like guilt. He shuddered and nodded. “I know.”

He gripped my hand and moved me into position. It was a scene that was supposed to film toward the end, it needed to match the beginning where the protagonist finally gave up and owned who she was, where she finally gave up and let herself love for her, not because she wanted what someone else had.

It would be painful.

I tugged at my jean shorts and willed my off the shoulder black tank to stop shrinking. Already I felt naked, no bra, just the shirt hanging off of me. And my shorts with no sandals.

Will was in ripped jeans, slung so low on his hips I had trouble focusing on anything but the way his perfect V dipped into exactly where my body wanted to be.

“Keep doing that and I’m turning this into an improv sex scene.” Will grumbled, then cursed when I paused and gave him a “well I’m up for it if you are”, look.

“Quiet on set!”

I looked over my shoulder. Alec and Demetri shielded me from peering eyes, right along with their wives, my brother, Zane, the girlfriends.

And I smiled.

And smiled even brighter when it was Alec and Demetri that smiled right back, like… they were proud of me.

Like I deserved their praise in the first place.

And for the first time in a long time, I kind of felt like I did.

Will pulled me in for a hug, brushed a kiss down my jaw, and whispered, “You’re beautiful when you smile.”

“I’m beautiful because you make me feel beautiful.” I said back softly. Weeks ago I would have said, I know, and walked off. It was a deflection, another way to keep my armor in place, but today, today I took the compliment because I felt like maybe it was true.

“Scene one seventy-five, take one.”

“Action!” Jay called.

My lines were simple. I apologized, we talked about the sunset, Will sat there, done.

But as the sun truly did begin to set, something felt so religious about the way the colors kissed the waves, I didn’t want to take my eyes off of it.

And when Will and I stood hand in hand staring at it, the holy scene was almost more than my small human body could handle, I imagined he felt it too, his breath hitched.

It was like we were facing a new start.

“Before the sun sets…” Will spoke first. “Before a new day begins…”

“Before all of that.” I said back as wind whipped at my back.

“The past… it stays there.”

We were silent and then he spoke again.

“I won’t ever be sorry you got pregnant Ang.” And there it was, the bomb being swiftly dropped for all the world to see, for everyone to hear. “ I’m sorry you lost the baby. And what’s more, I’m sorry that the situation wasn’t one born out of love. But hate.”

Stunned, I fought for air, for breath. Were we doing this? Was I doing this? “He didn’t care.”

“Does he matter?”

Tears streamed down my face, he caught them with his lips and kissed my mouth.

“He never did.” I rasped.

“Before the sun sets,” Will said again, “we should let the waves wash it away, all of it.”

“Just like that?” I couldn’t control the emotion wrecking my voice, making me insane. Was he really making it that simple?

“Yeah.” Will grinned, offering me his hand. “Just like that.”

We walked hand in hand toward the sun, my feet dug into the sand as we finally met the water, still hand in hand.

“What do you think?” Will nodded his head toward the ocean. “We may die trying. Last time we were in here your lips turned blue.”

I bravely pulled my tank over my body away from the camera, then slid my shorts down to my feet, kicking them off. “Last time you weren’t exactly ready to kiss my lips back to their normal color.”

“I’m here now.” Emotion deepened his voice, added a touch of hoarseness.

“Yes.” I clung to his hand. “You are.”

His jeans fell.

I was pretty sure Will’s plan when he woke up this morning wasn’t to numb himself to death and dive into frigid cold water without a wet suit.

But that part of him was back, the adventure, and the fear had completely disappeared from his eyes. I knew it because when he looked at me, he looked at me, not through me. I wasn’t a puzzle anymore.

I was just me.

We dove head first together, hand in hand.

And when our heads bobbed up, the sun winked behind the horizon, blanketing us with dewy pink sky.

Will’s mouth met mine in a frenzied kiss.

I met him half way as we kissed and kissed and kissed until my teeth started chattering.

Finally a cut was yelled.

And the crew ran toward us with towels and blankets.

When I looked over at Will, I expected him to be freezing his ass off, maybe still a bit hesitant, shy.

Instead, he was smiling brilliantly like he’d just been reborn.

And maybe, maybe he just had.