As a warm breeze made my hair flutter in the wind, I looked up from my book and let it caress my face.
After all, I was about to finish my last exams ever in my undergraduate year, and to say that I was stressed was an understatement.
I had no idea how I was going to make it through the next month.
Going to Duke had been the best decision I’d ever made in my life. It was also the worst.
College itself had been amazing for three years.
Unfortunately, when my first boyfriend Tom turned out to be a stalking piece of shit, it took some of the glitter off my amazing time here in North Carolina.
Now I had a restraining order against him. I hadn’t seen Tom in over six months.
And if I had my way, I was never going to see him again.
For over a year, he stalked me after I broke up with him. There hadn’t been any red flags up until that point, I just didn’t want to be with him anymore. I didn’t love him, and I didn’t want to waste any more of my life on someone I knew I was never going to love. It turned out I made the right call.
I had to change my phone number four times, move twice, and at one point he even dated a girl I was friends with on Facebook – we’d worked together in a group project once – just so he could access my profile. I stopped using social media after that.
Still, despite the hell that was dealing with my ex, I loved my life here.
I had a great group of friends – none of whom tried to sleep with my stepbrother, or anyone else I’d ever slept with – who were all super smart and a ton of fun. Speaking of Jaret, I hadn’t seen him in almost four years, not since I left for college in mid-August a few years ago. He had gone to New York as planned after his probation ran out, and didn’t come back for the wedding. My mom didn’t really mention why not, and I didn’t ask, but I had a feeling that Jaret didn’t exactly get along well with the family.
I lived in a small studio apartment about a five minute walk off campus. It wasn’t huge, but I didn’t need huge. I just needed enough space for my books, my bed and a small kitchen that I was ashamed to admit didn’t get used nearly as much as it probably should have… but with a Chipotle just down the street it was way too easy to hop in and get a burrito bowl compared to actually shopping for groceries.
And now, I was about to graduate. I was going to have a Bachelor of Economics, and in the fall I was going to start training to be an accountant. I had my whole life planned out. I was going to find myself a good job, make my way up through the firm until I was earning around six figures a year, find a man to fall in love with, have a family, and live happily ever after.
First, however, I had to pass these exams. And statistics, the course I was studying for now, was hands down what I was absolutely the worst at.
I closed my eyes and let the breeze relax my body. It was all going to be ok. I was going to make it through this.
Suddenly, my phone, sitting next to me on the ground, started vibrating.
Great. Another spam call, I thought, rolling my eyes. The latest number I’d gotten from T-Mobile had obviously previously belonged to someone who owed a lot of different companies a lot of money, and I regularly got calls from the most random area codes.
Still, when I looked down and saw “Home” written across my screen, my heart felt a bit lighter. Maybe a chat with my mom was all I really needed.
Sliding my finger across the phone, I greeted my mom.
“Hello?”
Instead, it was Alex, my stepfather.
“Hello, Michaela.”
“Alex?”
“Yes. Listen, I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but you need to come home right now. Your mom’s been in a car accident.”
For a few seconds, it was like what he said didn’t register. I just sat there, silently, trying to make sense of the words Alex had just told me.
“What?” were finally the words that came out of my mouth.
“Your mother’s been in a car accident. You need to get to the airport now. I’ve already booked a flight for you, just go to the United counter when you get there and they’ll have a ticket in your name.”
My mom? In an accident? No. Absolutely no way.
“What… how… how is she?”
“Not good, Michaela. She’s not good. Please come straight away.”
“Yeah. Ok. I’ll be there.”
I hung up the phone and just sat there, in a daze.
It was like the last couple of minutes had been a dream. I knew what Alex had told me. My mom was in the hospital, she had been in a car accident. But it didn’t seem real.
It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real.
I had seen my mom a year earlier. Like, 300 days earlier. Something like that. My mind immediately flashed back to that time. We had hung out by the pool, laughing, drinking mimosas and martinis while the sun gave us hilarious sunglasses tans. Mom had been so radiant. So pretty. So happy. So full of life.
What had happened?
I couldn’t even picture my mom in the hospital. Couldn’t picture her having been in an accident. It was like it wasn’t real.
No, I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t believe it.
Still, a part of my brain had to have understood what was happening. After all, as I stuffed a random pile of clothes into my suitcase, tears were streaming down my face.
She was going to be ok.
She had to be ok.
Alex texted me that someone would be waiting for me when my plane landed, ready to take me straight to the hospital.
The hospital.
Oh, God.
Please let my mom be ok, I prayed as I called a cab and sped towards the airport.
The whole time I thought about all the good times I’d shared with my mother.
God, I hoped she would be ok.