Chapter Sixteen
Fallon
Leah: Ran into Ray at the bar last night. He was doing shots to “all the single men.” Take it he finally got the hint? Gonna tell me how that happened? Does it involve a sexy Irish man?
I blew out a deep breath, thinking how the hell I could respond to that.
Figures Ray would end up at the bar that night. Just like I ended up with enough liquid courage in me to beg Connor for sex. Sex I thought he’d oblige me with. When he approached me in the shower, my entire body was on alert, just willing him to take me. But then he walked away, yet again.
Maybe I’d been reading his signals all wrong, and this truly was all just an agreement to him. I had to clamp down my feelings and keep my eyes on the prize. Six more months and this would be over. But not thinking about Connor that way was a lot harder than I expected when even just glancing at him sent butterflies dancing in my stomach.
Me: Video message during my lunch?
Leah: I guess I’m up anyway. I’ll make some coffee and wait for you. This better be good :)
Connor had meetings all day, and I hated that I missed him. I’d gotten used to having the pain in the ass around. As much as I complained about him being bossy, it was nice to finally have someone take care of me.
I made the short trek home for lunch. This time I made sure to lock the door so Connor wouldn’t walk in on this conversation.
Once I sat down on the couch, I pulled my phone out of my purse and pressed the video chat icon. Not even two seconds later, Leah’s face filled the screen. Her eyes narrowed with concern. “Are you finally fucking that hottie boss of yours? Or brother of a boss? Whatever Connor is.” She waved her hand across the screen.
She sat in the back room of her shop, which was stuffed with boxes and racks of clothes. I could never work with her and that mess. Leah was a free spirit. She didn’t have a paper trail for anything she bought or a way to organize it. That was going to bite her in the ass one day, but she said she had it all under control.
“No, we aren’t doing anything. And what are you doing at work so early?” I muttered, sliding my heels off. I figured this was going to be a long conversation, so I might as well get comfortable.
“I haven’t left yet. I just got coffee and got ready to chat. But back to you—why the hell are you not screwing Connor right now? I looked his fine ass up on Google with Nana, but later I found his Instagram. Have you seen his vacation pictures? Yowza. I think he has an eight-pack.” She put her coffee cup to her mouth, leaving a red ring on the side of it from her lipstick.
“Uh, no, I haven’t seen those pictures. I don’t go Googling my boss. Or, well, my boss’s brother.” I made a mental note to look those up later. Damn me for searching just his background and not vacation pictures. Though, I’d seen the real thing and traced the curves of his muscles beneath my fingertips. I clamped my legs together, trying to suppress the ache that happened every time I thought about his warm body against mine.
“Okay, so what happened with Ray, then? I guess he finally got the hint?” she asked.
I sighed. “I told him I found someone else.”
I didn’t mention the “sugar daddy” part that still was in the back of my mind. But if Connor wasn’t worried about Ray, then I guess I shouldn’t be, either.
She squealed. “Yes! Now that Ray won’t bother you like a lost puppy, you can enjoy being with Mr. Hottie McLucky-abs.”
“Hottie McLucky-abs?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Like you could come up with a better nickname,” she mumbled then took a breath, letting it out slowly. “So, what? Now you and Connor are, like, together? Or not?”
I leaned my head back, wishing I had something to drink for this conversation. That didn’t turn out so well last time, so I sucked it up and winced before speaking. “Connor and I went to a pub and dancing a few weeks ago. The first time I met him in person, actually. The day I asked you about what to wear to work was because I may have been trying to impress him.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I knew that.”
“What you didn’t know was that night he told me that according to his father’s will, he and his brothers have to be married, and for at least six months, to get their part of the company. He asked me if I’d be willing to put on a show for the board and everyone, make them think we’re dating, and then get married. He said after six months of marriage, I could walk away with a massive divorce settlement and a very high-paying job back in the states if I wanted it.” I blurted out everything, my stomach lurching from all of the word vomit. I knew I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, but I’d been keeping everything in for so long that it was like a breath of fresh air to finally open up.
Leah blinked hard, her mouth gaping open like a fish. I thought she would say something—anything, really. But she just stared at the screen so long I figured it froze.
“Leah? Leah? Are you there?” I leaned forward as if that would help the connection.
She nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah. I’m here. I, uh, just wasn’t sure how to respond to all of that. Holy shit. Is that for real?”
“That I agreed to marry a guy so he can inherit his company and I’d get a payday for my student loans and Nana? Yes, it is.” I let out a deep breath, my shoulders sagging, my stomach twisted in knots.
“I mean, yeah, that seems a little gold-diggerish of you, but I know you’re not that type of girl. There’s definitely more to this. Are you saying you’re falling for this guy?”
Ray’s words stung in my head, but I pushed them away thinking about what Connor had said, how Ray’s words didn’t matter.
“I think I already fell. It’s more than just about the money or the company. It’s…him.” I swallowed hard, trying to control the lump forming in my throat.
Leah raised her eyebrows. “Then, what’s the problem?”
“He doesn’t feel the same way. He’s a known player and good at the game,” I muttered.
“What? That can’t be true. No guy buys a girl all of that stuff for her apartment or hangs around video chats with her Nana if he doesn’t have some feelings for her.”
“Trust me. He doesn’t,” I grumbled.
“How would you know that?”
I groaned, not wanting to dredge everything up again. But if I really wanted advice, Leah had to know everything. “Because the other night I may have drunk too much wine and whiskey before getting huffy with Ray. When Connor got home, I basically jumped him. He turned me down. It’s all confusing. I could have sworn he’d been throwing sexual innuendos at me for weeks.”
“Maybe he just wants to make sure you two don’t mess up your agreement. Just assure him you can have his shamrocks and marry them, too,” she offered.
I clenched my teeth. I’d been on edge all week, and thought talking to Leah would help, but now I wanted to snap. “I can’t imagine a guy who has had sex with half of Ireland and Boston would hold himself back that easily.”
“Maybe he doesn’t want to mess things up. If something bad happened between the two of you, then Nana could lose everything and so would he. Kind of hot that he knows what he wants. I bet when he finally does lose control, it’s going to be explosive.”
“He could just hand me a contract or something. He hasn’t even proposed, or whatever he plans on doing. I don’t know if any of this is going to happen. I sound like a selfish little girl, don’t I? I’m complaining about a man who buys me clothes, food, and sleeps in my bed. He’s done more for me than anyone in my entire life. Yet, here I am, wanting even more. God, what have I become?” I sighed, leaning my now-throbbing head back.
This guy was giving me everything, and all I could do was complain that he didn’t want to sleep with me. I was the worst.
“You’re still the same girl, Fal—my best friend and the one who has always done something for everyone else instead of herself. Maybe it’s time you do think about yourself in this situation. Tell him you don’t need the fancy clothes or furniture. If you really do like this guy, why not just tell him you want him?”
“I don’t know. What if things do go well with Connor and me? Then we get married and divorced. He gets his company and decides he’s done with me. I go back to Chicago. I’m just back where I was, albeit with less debt and more security for Nana. So that’s something good, at least.”
I may have said the words, but my stomach churned. Connor had only been in my life a short time, but I couldn’t imagine being without him.
“I believe that you’re overthinking this. You should just live in the moment. You have a hot Irish man who, if nothing else, is showing you a good time in what seems like a beautiful country.” Leah smiled softly.
“Doesn’t make this whole situation any easier.” I sighed.
“Okay, let’s talk about something less depressing then. If there’s gonna be a wedding, you better show me the bling. A guy worth that much should have picked out one hell of a rock,” she said, wiggling her fingers in front of the camera.
“He hasn’t exactly proposed yet. I don’t know if he’s going to or just hand me a contract. He keeps bringing up getting married, but hasn’t gone through with anything,” I said with a shrug, trying to show that it didn’t bother me. Though, I found myself thinking more and more about some fantasy proposal. I’d lie awake at night, thoughts of romance and flowers rushing through my head. Though, what Connor and I had was a far cry from any fairy-tale story, so I couldn’t expect a proposal to be anything like that—a thought that stung even harder than I was going to admit to Leah.
“Make sure to message me when you get the fancy proposal or a contract over breakfast. Either way, I’ll be eagerly waiting for my wedding invitation and, of course, my maid of honor request. By the way, I’m picking out the bridesmaid dresses. You’ll give me something with a butt bow,” she said with a big smile.
“Hey, you might like what I pick out,” I offered, relaxing my shoulders a bit.
“Doubtful, but you can think whatever you want, babe. As long as you keep me in the loop, okay? No reason to hold all of this in. I’m only a text or video chat away. If things get hairy, I’ll hop on a plane and be there in like, what, twelve hours or something?”
I smiled at my longtime friend. “Thanks.”
“Bye, Fal.”
“Bye, Leah.” With that, I hung up the call and set my phone next to me on the couch. Maybe Leah was right, and perhaps it was time to live in the moment. A weekend away to Galway, even if it was for work, could help that.
At the very least, I’d get out for an adventure.