Chapter Twelve – When Your Past
and Present Collide
Blake
She’s more beautiful than in my dreams. More beautiful than I could possibly expect her to be after all this time. More beautiful than any other woman in the history of mankind. She steals my breath and clouds my judgment because without even thinking, I stand up and take a step towards her. I swear I’m having a fucking stroke right now or maybe an out of body experience. Either way, seeing Carly after two years, in this house no less, is blowing my fucking mind into nothingness.
I reach out to her, completely oblivious to the fact that two of the biggest names in auto theft are sitting right in front of me. And apparently, one of them is her father. Before I can touch her soft skin, she pulls back as if she was slapped. The look on her face screams surprise, but also something more. Fear, maybe?
“I need to go,” she whispers before turning to the man sitting in the chair behind her. “We’re not finished,” she adds to the older man before turning and practically running out of the office door.
I watch her for all of two seconds before I move. “I’ll be back,” I say and am out the door before anyone can question me about the scene that just played out. I’m sure they’ll have questions–especially Roman. Fuck, how did this get so jacked up? How did I not know he had a daughter? How is this just now coming to light? We’re the damned FBI for Christ’s sake. All questions that I need answered stat, but not more than my need to run after Carly.
She’s already out the front door, quicker than I realized she’d be. I finally reach her just as she hits the bottom step. When I grab her arm to halt her progress, it’s like lightning. A direct hit straight to my gut. My entire body comes alive for the first time in…Two. Long. Years. “Wait,” I finally say as I spin her around to face me.
Tears are gathered in the corners of her eyes, and I instantly want to beat the shit out of someone for putting them there. Even if that someone is me. We stare at each other for a few seconds–or a few minutes, I’m not sure. Time stands still as I take in the beauty before me. Even through their brilliance, her eyes look tired as if she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. Those deep brown eyes search my face, and in this moment, it takes everything I have not to kiss those pouty lips. As if sensing where my mind is, her tongue snakes out and wets those lush lips, enticing me even further.
“I have to go,” she finally whispers, pulling my sight back up to her eyes. Confusion is written all over her, and I can completely understand why; at least on my account. Whatever just happened in there with her father is a huge piece of the puzzle that I wasn’t prepared for. Hell, this whole scenario isn’t something I was prepared for. Something definitely isn’t adding up, but I’m going to find out what’s going on.
“Wait. I need to speak with you,” I say without really thinking this whole thing through. I should turn my back, walk back into that house, and cut her out of my life completely. There’s no room for more loose ends in this case, and Carly is definitely a loose end. The problem is I don’t want to let her walk away. Not without saying what I need to say.
“I can’t right now. I’m late for an appointment,” she says before turning her back to me and walking towards the SUV in the driveway. I don’t buy it for a second. I can read people, and I can tell she’s lying.
Before she can slip inside, I gently grab her arm again to keep her from driving out of my life. “You look amazing,” I tell her honestly. Her body has changed in the past two years, that’s for sure. Fuller hips and much fuller tits. She filled out a black tank top to perfection that night, but now, she has curves that make my body stand up and beg for mercy.
“And you apparently work for my father,” she whispers, keeping her eyes cast downward.
“It’s complicated, Carly.”
The laugh she gives me is humorless. It’s empty and rips my guts out just a little bit more than they already are. I’m surprised I’m still standing at this point. “Complicated. Yeah, everything about this entire day, hell this entire week, has been complicated.”
“There are things that I want to tell you. Things that I want to say, but I can’t. I want to, but I just can’t say it right now, Carly.”
“Things. Sure. I have things to say too, but I think I’ll just stick with have a nice life, Blake.” She tries to turn and get inside the car. “If that’s even your real name.”
“You’re just going to have to trust me, Carly.”
“Trust you? I don’t even know you.”
Something pulls so deep inside me. I can’t let this woman go. I can’t tell her about the job, especially if she’s now right smack dab in the damn middle of a federal investigation, but I’ll be damned if I’m able to let go of her arm so she can drive away without knowing she’s going to be okay or where in the hell she’s going.
“I’ll come to you later tonight. I have to get back inside right now before they question this further than they already will. Please let me come see you. I can’t explain everything, but I’ll try to answer what questions you may have.”
I can tell she’s thinking about it, but I have no idea which way she’s leaning. She could easily tell me to get lost. Hell, I probably would. She’s already dealing with enough deception to keep her occupied for quite some time. I’m just praying to all things holy that she doesn’t. “I guess you could stop by tonight after ten.”
Unexpected relief courses through me with her statement, and I take my first deep breath since she turned around in Roman’s office. “I’ll be there. Where do you live?”
“Same apartment. I’ll write down the address,” she says and starts to turn towards the interior of her car.
“No. I know it.” I’ve never forgotten. Carly seems surprised by my words, but just shakes her head in acknowledgement.
I watch as she slips fully inside the SUV and shuts the door. Her hands appear to have a slight tremor to them as she fumbles with the seatbelt. Once it’s securely fastened, she starts the ignition and throws it in drive. She sits there for a few moments, staring straight ahead, and I can practically see the wheels spinning in that beautiful dark-haired head of hers. Just before she pulls ahead, she turns and locks those stunning, conflicted brown eyes back on me. I almost pull open that car door and pull her into my arms. Almost. She focuses back ahead and pulls her vehicle forward. I watch as she drives down the drive, out the front gate, and out of sight.
I stand there like an idiot for a few more minutes, collecting my thoughts and preparing for the third degree I’m about to receive from the men in the office. Shit, probably more like tenth degree. I let my heavy legs carry me back inside the house and down the corridor. I throw on my mask before stepping back inside the room. When I do, three heads turn and stare holes into me. I can’t tell who is going to speak first, but I’m sure that it won’t be me.
“What was that?” Roman asks in his no-nonsense tone.
“Nothing.” I know he won’t let the subject drop, but I’m not about to start singing like a canary now. Two years of undercover work in this organization isn’t about to unravel because of an unexpected hitch. This whole job has been one unexpected situation after another.
“Carlina. How do you know her?” Roman asks, those dark brown eyes staring straight through me. If I were a lesser man, I would cave under his intense scrutiny. But, I’m, if anything, definitely not a lesser man. With the shit I’ve dealt with, I can sure as hell handle a few glares from Roman Hernandez.
“I met her a few years back. Haven’t seen her since. Just wanted to say hi.”
“Looked a hell of a lot more than just sayin’ hello,” Mattias adds.
“Nope. Nothing more,” I say without breaking eye contact.
Roman continues to stare at me for several minutes. We’re at a standstill, an impasse, and I’m not about to break. “Good. Keep it that way,” Roman finally says with a final look before gathering up the papers on his desk.
As soon as I walk out the front door, I pull out my cell phone. I refrain from dialing the number, though. I wait until I’m inside the car and driving down the road. As soon as I hit the open road leading through suburbia Las Vegas, I send the text message as fast as my fingers will type: Meet. Now.
The reply is almost instantly: 10 minutes.
I drive towards my shithole apartment on autopilot. Every possible scenario runs through my mind. Just how deep is Carly in this mess? When it comes down to the job or my connection to her, can I keep her separate? Can I do my job, even if it means taking her down with her father? Fuck.
I park my Camaro and slam my hands down on the steering wheel. What a fucking mess. I quickly slip out of my car and walk towards the familiar coffee shop a couple of blocks away. After ordering a black coffee just so I have something to hold in my hand, I slip into the available back booth with my back to the wall. It doesn’t take long before my brother is stepping through the glass door. I’ve already scanned the room for the past few minutes, but that doesn’t stop Luke from casually taking in our surroundings. Old habits and all that.
Cup of black coffee in hand, he slips into the booth across from me. I don’t even wait for him to speak. “Did you know about Carly?” I ask him, my agitation evident in my clipped tone.
“Who the hell is Carly?” he asks, his eyebrows shooting skyward over his green eyes.
“Don’t fucking mess with me right now, Luke. Carly. What do you know about Carly?” I ground out through gritted, clenched teeth.
“I don’t know who the fuck Carly is, Blake. What the hell are you talking about?” he asks quietly, matching my agitated state.
“Roman’s daughter.”
I watch as the words register on his face. Surprise. Confusion. Anger. It’s all there in spades, just like it was on my face when I realized we were missing something. A very big something. “Roman doesn’t have a daughter anymore.”
“He sure as shit does, Luke. I just met her. Or should I say, I just saw her again,” I answer quietly, my irritation coming down a few notches with the realization that Luke wasn’t withholding information from me. Nothing would have earned my brother a black eye and a bloody lip faster than if he would have been holding out on me.
“There’s no mention of a daughter in his file, Blake, besides the one who died years ago. You know that. You’ve memorized every page of that thing.”
“The file said that Mattias has a daughter. Could that information be wrong?” I ask my brother.
“I suppose it could, though I don’t know how. That information has been in the file for a decade. Either the agents who started the case were misinformed or they changed the info, hindering the investigation. I’d rather not think it would be the latter.”
“But it could be. Someone fucked up, Luke. Roman very much has a daughter in the living. She showed up at the house today right before I was scheduled to meet with the bosses.”
“This daughter, you said you saw her again. Who is she?” Luke asks, finally taking a sip of his piping-hot coffee.
“Do you remember the night we went out before I went under? The girl from the bar?”
“The one you went home with? Yeah, I remember,” he says as a hint of a smile crosses his lips at the realization of what I’m implicating. “Are you kidding me?”
“I wish I were. She was standing there when I walked into the room.”
“What’s her association to Roman and the organization, besides being his daughter?”
“I don’t know. Honestly, I got the feeling that something was completely off with her presence there. She was tense and seemed completely caught off guard. And that was before she saw me sitting there.”
“So, what are you thinking?” he asks.
“I don’t know yet. I’m going to her place tonight to talk. I’m going to see what information I can get out of her.”
“Is it just information you want to get out of her, big brother?” he asks with a full smile stretched across his smug face.
“Shut up. This is one big-ass mess, Luke.”
“Oh, I don’t disagree with you there. But can you still do this job knowing that she might be involved?”
“Yes,” I defend, but instantly know that deep down I’m not sure if I can. Can I let her go down with her father when this whole thing goes south? The look Luke gives me tells me he doesn’t exactly know if I can either. My brain suddenly hurts as I run my hands over my face.
“Listen, Blake. Something doesn’t quite feel right here, so I’m going to head in to the office and do some digging. I want to keep this between you and me for now. I’ll bring everyone else in on it as soon as we have more details. If–and that’s a big if–someone on the inside is altering the investigation, I don’t want to show our cards just yet. Let’s see how this plays out. You go meet this girl tonight and see what she knows. Do you think you can do that without slipping your dick in?”
“Don’t be an ass. You know I can do this.”
“I know what you were like for a few weeks after you spent the night with that girl.”
“That was the investigation, asshole. It had nothing to do with Carly.”
“If that’s what you need to tell yourself,” he adds smugly before grabbing his coffee cup and standing up.
“I’ll be in touch. Let me know how it goes tonight. Be careful,” he says before slipping quietly out of the coffee shop. I scan the room, registering every face in the room before I follow suit and slip out of the booth.
I walk back to my apartment, keeping my head down and my eyes open. It’s almost four o’clock, which means I have six long hours before I need to be at Carly’s apartment. Six hours to dissect this damn case again piece by agonizing piece. Something isn’t right. Two plus two doesn’t equal four suddenly. The bureau is missing a big piece, and I’ll be damned if I haven’t spent two years undercover to watch it all crumble around me.
* * *
Carly said after ten, so I wait down in my car for an extra fifteen minutes until it’s quarter after. Of course, I’ve been in the lot keeping watch since eight like a creeper. The living room light is on, though I can’t see anything through her thick curtains. The building is quiet with a few residents coming and going throughout my two-hour stakeout. Finally, it’s time.
When I reach the front of the building, I realize that I don’t know Carly’s last name. When we were here two years ago, she let us in with her key. Now, I’m supposed to use the buzzer to announce my arrival so she can release the door lock. Just as I’m about to start pushing the buttons for the three C’s listed on the board out front, a young couple exits through the door. They look at me expectantly before letting me pass through the door. “I’m here for Carly,” I tell them. They must register the name, even though I don’t give a last one, and allow me to pass through the open door.
Inside the elevator, I push the button for the top floor. My hand is surprisingly clammy as I shift my weight back and forth between my left and right feet. Rubbing my hands down the sides of my jeans, the elevator opens on the top floor. Memory carries me towards the apartment on the left. I give the floor a quick sweep with my eyes before raising my hand and knocking on the door.
Carly answers just before I get ready to knock a second time. When she swings open the door, it’s as if all of the oxygen is sucked out of the atmosphere by some huge vacuum. She’s every bit of the goddess I remember. Her dark hair is pulled up in a high ponytail on top of her head. What little make-up she was wearing earlier appears to be swept clean. Her amazing body is wrapped snuggly in black yoga pants and a tight white t-shirt. The entire look is topped off with bare feet with bright pink polish poking out from under the pants. I have to flex my fists several times to keep from reaching out for her.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d come,” she says softly before taking a step back and allowing me to pass. My entire focus is on the woman in front of me. My body is firing on all cylinders instantly. My blood is pumping, coursing recklessly throughout my body before heading to one concentrated area straight below the belt.
“I told you I would,” I reply, submerging myself in the soft timbers of her voice.
“Do you want something to drink?” she finally offers as she leads me towards the living room. The room appears to be organized well with little clutter. I spy a few baskets in the corner, but am unable to investigate further when Carly clears her throat.
“Oh, sure. Water’s fine.”
I watch her walk towards the kitchen. Her long, lean legs carry her towards the cabinet. As she extends her hand upward to grab a glass from an upper shelf, I can clearly recall what it felt like to curl up against her lush body. Pulling down two, she fills them with bottled water from the fridge. Taking one of the glasses, my fingers brush against hers. I hear her audible gasp which tells me instantly that she feels the same spark of hunger from our brief touch. We felt it together that night, and it’s amazing to know we still feel it now two years later.
Carly walks over and takes a seat in the chair leaving me to follow suit, sitting down on the couch. “So,” she starts, but doesn’t quite seem to know where to go from there.
“So.”
“So, I guess you can start with telling me how long you’ve worked with my father,” she says, wringing her hands together in her lap.
“Two years,” I answer honestly. It’s probably one of the real things I can tell her.
“So, when you said you were starting a new job, you were telling the truth? You were starting to work for my father?”
“Yes, though I didn’t know he was your father at the time.”
“Yeah, well, that makes two of us,” she says, turning her attention towards the blank television.
“I work in your father’s repair shop.” I don’t think that’s giving anything too big away either.
“First Class Auto, right? I was just there to have my car repaired,” she says absently.
She was there? I know I’d remember seeing her in the shop, so I can only assume that I wasn’t there at the same time. Then things start to fall into place. My mind starts to take the little pieces and strategically move them around until they begin to line up properly. C. Mathewson. She must have been the woman that Gage met, the hottie with the nice ass. The car I delivered a little over a week ago. The woman who signed for it and the…
A loud piercing cry startles me from my thoughts. Carly’s eyes go as wide as the steering wheel in my Camaro as she jumps up from the chair and hurries down the hallway. My mind is stunned into utter shock as I watch her disappear around the corner. As if my ass were on fire, I jump up off the couch and follow the sounds of frenzied cries from a child. Rounding the corner of the darkened bedroom, I stop in my tracks when I see Carly holding a small child against her chest. My lungs struggle to pull oxygen into them, making me wonder if I’m going to drop dead any moment from asphyxia.
Carly is cradling a baby against her, rocking back and forth in a soothing gesture. She makes soft shushing sounds as she slowly moves from side to side. I watch helplessly as the baby whimpers for several minutes while her mother tries to soothe her back to sleep. Together, in the soft moonlight glow of the room, they form a picture more beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen before.
When I take a step inside the room, my movement catches the baby’s attention. Her head whips up and she stares at me. Big green eyes burn into me as she takes in my presence in the room. Dark hair the same color of her mother’s, an olive complexion, and a slightly upturned nose. The only thing that doesn’t match are those deep green eyes.
Realization slams into me with the force of a Mack truck. Fucking hell.
Suddenly, the little girl reaches for me, tears glistening under dark eyelashes. With two arms extended upward, Carly turns to see my presence in the room for the first time. Shock registers on her face as I step forward, towards the outstretched hands of the tiny child. Like a beacon in the night, I’m guided towards her. Though somewhat reluctantly, Carly allows me to take the girl from her arms. She’s standing shocked still, watching as I pull the little girl against my broad chest.
I start to move, mirroring the way that Carly tried to soothe the upset baby. She nestles against my chest, relaxing against me. How she’s able to relax, I’m not sure. I’ve got more tension and fear running through my body than an inmate walking towards the execution room. Surely she can feel my heart beating the shit out of my chest as if trying to burst through. After a few minutes, she relaxes completely until she’s dead weight; not that she weighed much to begin with.
I have no clue what just happened. One minute I’m sitting on the couch, talking to the woman I haven’t been able to eradicate from my mind, and suddenly I’m holding a baby. The most perfect, delicate little girl who already owns my heart.
My baby.