Chapter Fourteen
“Today is our last show together,” Noelle said. “I don’t want to speak for Tate, but the last few weeks have been enlightening. I actually feel like I know something about sports now. More importantly, I’ve learned some things about myself. I knew I was stubborn, but when you have someone constantly challenging your beliefs, it becomes even more evident. It also makes you really stop and think about those beliefs and opinions and why you hold them.
“This is what I know. It’s been fun. It’s been frustrating. It’s been real.” She looked across the control board at her cohost. “I want to thank Tate for that. I hope you, the listeners, have gained something from the experiment as well.”
“I’ve enjoyed this, too,” he said. “I’ve been challenged. I’ve been happy. I’ve been angry, mainly because Noelle doesn’t pull any punches. I thank her for that.”
He reached out as though to cover her hand, but he retreated before he completed the action.
She curled her hand in her lap to stop herself from seeking his touch. They had an audience. She offered up a small smile instead. A bittersweet moment, no doubt. Getting back to her routine without worrying about two shows would be nice. She supposed. Not spending these two hours with him every day, even if she wanted to wring his neck half the time, would be disappointing. But she’d get over it. She’d survived a year of not doing a show with him. She’d thrive again.
Besides, they’d done their jobs. Deb had told them ratings were up, and a few parties were interested in buying the station.
“We’re going to check in with Shannon and Mike one last time to see what decision they’ve made about their relationship,” Tate said. “They’ve joined us in the studio.”
“Hi, guys,” Noelle said to the couple. “Thanks for coming in. How was your last date?”
“Fabulous, thanks to you and Tate,” Shannon said.
Noelle looked at Tate. She’d had nothing to do with it. “Why don’t you tell us about it?”
“It was simple, but perfect. A limo picked us up and took us to the arboretum. A guide met us there and took us to a secluded part of the park, which was closed to the public, near the lake. A picnic was all set up under a tent. It was so romantic.”
Mike fiddled with his headset, clearly uncomfortable with them. “We had a chance to talk for the first time in a long time with no distractions.”
“Unless you count the amazing food and wine. Thank you so much,” Shannon said.
“You’re welcome. So what did you talk about?” Tate asked.
A big grin broke across Shannon’s face. “Oh my goodness. All kinds of things, like how we met standing in the world’s slowest-moving line at our bank.”
“Shannon kept me laughing the whole time we waited,” Mike said.
“It was either that or kill the tellers, who weren’t in any rush to serve the customers. We also talked about this whole experience.”
“I don’t think either of us knew what we were getting into,” Mike said, shifting in his chair.
Shannon nodded. “That’s for sure. But it’s been fun. And weird.”
Enough with the chitchat. “So did you talk about the issues that led you to call into our show?” Noelle asked.
“Yes,” Mike answered. “Before we did, we agreed to let each other finish our thoughts before we replied.”
“Thanks for the suggestion, Noelle,” Shannon said.
“You’re welcome,” she said. “How did the talk go?”
“Way better than our arguments usually go,” Mike said.
“I told him that I think he’s been taking me for granted,” Shannon said.
“I told her that she falls into treating me like a child by telling me what to do and I resent it.”
“Ouch to both of those claims,” Tate said. “How did the other party take it?”
Shannon and Mike exchanged a quick glance. “I think we were both okay,” Mike said. “We’ve heard those complaints before. It wasn’t anything new. But this time, at least, we didn’t go into defensive mode and tune each other out.”
“I’m happy to hear you discussed your faults in a civil manner, but I hope you talked about the good times, too,” Noelle said.
Shannon swung her gaze to Noelle. “We did. Actually, we wrote a list of three things we liked about each other.”
“I wasn’t on board with it at first, but writing everything down made me really think about my answer and reinforced how much Shannon means to me,” Mike said.
“Same here.”
Exactly what Noelle wanted to hear. She gave herself a mental fist pump.
“We were happy to get everything on the table, the good and the bad, which allowed us to figure out if we wanted to stay together, or if we were just marking time until something better came along,” Mike said.
“What did you decide?” Noelle asked, crossing her fingers behind her back.
Shannon took a deep breath and met her boyfriend’s eyes. “We’ve decided to go our separate ways.”
Crap. All the optimism and anticipation that had been propelling her through the day came to a screeching halt. Still, if she were being honest with herself, she had to admit she wasn’t totally surprised. Mike and Shannon had good chemistry, true, but there’d been something missing in their relationship she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
“Are you sure?” she couldn’t resist asking.
“Yes,” Shannon answered with conviction. “We have a good time together, but we both agree that we’re in different stages in our lives and that we want different things. Ironically, it was our last date, not Tate’s activities, which really drove that home. We laid everything out on the table. We’ve both grown from this experience and now understand how important it is to communicate and know what we want.”
And that’s all she could ask for, Noelle supposed, her spirits rising slightly.
“I’m ready to settle down,” Mike said.
“While I realized I’m not. I enjoyed the club going and speed dating more than I thought I would,” Shannon said.
“Sounds like you two are sure about your decision,” Tate said.
“We are.”
“And that’s all that matters. Thanks again for participating in our little experiment.”
“No. Thank you,” Mike said. “We’re better for it.”
“Good luck to both of you,” Noelle said, offering them a small smile. “This is the Tate and Noelle Show. We’ll be right back.”
She and Tate escorted the former couple to the elevator. After shaking Mike’s hand, she turned to Shannon.
“I hope you’re not mad at me,” Shannon said, her eyebrows bunched in worry.
“What? Of course I’m not.” Noelle drew the other woman into a hug. “Your happiness is all that matters. Tate and I both appreciate you and Mike putting yourselves out there. We know it wasn’t easy.”
“Thanks. I hope y’all have better luck than we did,” Shannon whispered in her ear.
“What?”
But Shannon was already stepping into the elevator and waving good-bye.
Noelle met Tate’s way-too-satisfied-with-himself eyes and promptly forgot about Shannon’s parting words. Losing sucked, even if the couple had made the right decision for themselves. She returned to the studio and took her seat next to the competition. Put on her headset and kept her eyes locked on Caitlin as the producer counted down to the end of the commercial break.
“If you’re just joining us, Mike and Shannon, the couple we’ve been following over the past few weeks, decided to end their relationship,” Tate said. “While it’s a sad moment for them, no doubt, it also means that I won the bet I made with Noelle. Although it’s not like me to gloat.”
“It’s not?” Noelle countered with a pointed stare.
“Okay, maybe a little. I can’t deny that I like winning and being right. Settling down isn’t right for everybody.”
A stance she needed to tattoo on her forehead. This thing with Tate, no matter how right it felt, was going exactly nowhere. She pasted on a smile. “All right, Tate. You win. This time.”
He shook his finger at her. “Nuh-uh. You’re not following the terms of the bet.”
Noelle sucked in a breath. “Fine.”
“Fine, what?” He wasn’t even trying to hide his smirk. He knew she was this close to throttling him, but obviously didn’t care.
She closed her eyes for a second. “Fine. Tate…The Great…Grayson.”
He cupped his right ear and turned toward her. “Could you say that a little louder? I’m not sure I heard you.”
“Tate ‘The Great’ Grayson, the best radio host in the world.”
“And?”
Noelle glared. “And you’re Tate ‘The Great’ Grayson because you have the courage of your convictions, despite your boneheaded opinions.”
He beamed. “Thanks.” His grin faltered. “Wait. What?”
But she’d prepared for the possibility of losing and wouldn’t be derailed. “You’re Tate ‘The Great’ Grayson because you know more about sports than is probably wise.”
“Thanks.”
Oh, the sarcasm. Noelle bit back a smile and kept her voice level. She was having fun now. “You’re Tate ‘The Great’ Grayson because you have the courage to show up every day wearing jeans and a T-shirt like a college kid despite the company dress code.”
“Thanks, Doc. Anything else you want to add?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.” Noelle let the smile she’d been holding back spread across her face. Yes, losing sucked, but it wasn’t his fault, and resenting him for a decision he hadn’t made wasn’t fair. “You’re Tate ‘The Great’ Grayson because you always know how to live life to the fullest. Thank you for this experience.”
Even if it hadn’t turned out exactly how she’d planned, she wouldn’t change it for the world.
…
Noelle shaded her eyes and watched Marvin head to the plate. He walked with the confidence of someone who already had two hits in the game. Her gaze slid to his coach, who shouted his encouragement. Tate turned and caught her looking. He came over and sat next to her on the bench. He squeezed her knee. “You okay?”
“Yes.” But was she really? The last twenty-four hours had given her nothing but time to brood over one part of his reaction to his victory.
Settling down isn’t right for everybody.
Logically, she knew he’d only been talking about Shannon and Mike. His response had nothing to do with how he felt about her. Too bad her heart didn’t care about logic. If it did, she never would’ve gotten involved with him in the first place.
Noelle exhaled a quiet breath. She was driving herself crazy. Even if he had been talking about their relationship, it didn’t matter. What they had was casual. Temporary.
She studied the sharp planes of his profile. She couldn’t regret her choice to be with him. When he looked at her, her skin buzzed with anticipation. When he actually touched her, she soared to heights she’d never thought imaginable.
Tate turned his head. She offered up a smile at his questioning look. He lowered his head. A split second before their lips touched, Noelle’s right hip pocket buzzed, causing her to jump back. “Sorry.”
“What happened?” Tate’s brows drew together.
She reached into her pocket. “Phone,” she answered, holding it up. The device buzzed again. A quick glance at the screen told her it was Kelly, her agent. Calling on a Saturday? She leaped up from the bench. “I have to take this.”
Noelle hurried out of the dugout and headed toward a grouping of trees near the parking lot, away from the field and the cheering crowd. She pressed the talk icon with a shaking finger. “Kelly, hi.”
“Noelle, I was worried you weren’t going to answer, but I’m so happy you did. I’ve got some amazing news.”
“Lay it on me.” Noelle crossed her fingers. Was this it? The dream she’d held in her heart for three years.
“We have an offer for your book.”
Noelle squealed. “Are you serious? I don’t believe it!”
Kelly chuckled. “Believe it. It’s real. We’re still working out the details, but I wanted to let you know that it’s happening. Go celebrate.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. I’m already planning to shout it from the nearest rooftop when I get off the phone.”
“Glad to hear it. There is one thing. They threw in a wrinkle. And it’s not bad, really.”
Noelle clutched the phone harder. “Tell me.”
“One reason the publishing company was willing to take a risk on you, an unknown author, is that they liked the platform you have with the radio show.”
“Okay,” she said slowly.
“They want to build on your platform. The publishing company is a subsidiary of a corporation that also owns several radio stations, including one in Chicago. They want you to move to Chicago and do your show there. As they mentioned, Chicago is a bigger market than Dallas/Fort Worth. You don’t have to take the job, but the deal would be sweeter if you did. They also mentioned that WTLK’s owners have been having some financial problems and are looking to sell. The Chicago station is on much more stable financial ground.”
Noelle slumped against a tree, Kelly’s words knocking all the air out of her. Of all the things her agent could have said… Wow. She’d built a good life for herself in Dallas, finally finding her footing and feeling comfortable. She had a job she loved, a best friend, a home, a man she…cared about…
“Noelle? What do you think?”
“I…I don’t know what to think. What do you think?”
“I think it’s an amazing opportunity. It means more exposure for you, but I know Dallas is home for you.”
“Yes, it is. I need some time to think.”
“Understandable. I’ll call you in a few days. I still have some negotiating to do. I want to get you the best deal possible.”
“I like the way you think. If I haven’t said it before, thank you so much for working so hard on this, Kelly.”
“You’re welcome, and congratulations. Talk to you later.”
“Bye.” Noelle disconnected the call and closed her eyes for a second. “My book is going to be published,” she whispered excitedly. “I have to tell somebody.” Her eyes snapped open and she rushed toward the dugout. She’d only taken two steps when she abruptly stopped. What was she doing? Why was Tate the first person she thought of? She should be calling Caitlin, her best friend, who had always been there for her. She had fun with Tate, but that’s all it was. All it could be. He’d be happy for her, she didn’t doubt, but still. Who knew how he felt about her?
Tate had made his anti-relationship feelings clear. But she didn’t think it was going too far to say he’d softened on his position after the closeness and confidences they’d shared. Noelle scrubbed a hand across her face. Hell, maybe she was deluding herself, trying to force him into a mold he had no intention of fitting into. She couldn’t make him feel what he didn’t.
Could she move to Chicago? Walk away from him? No. Anything but that. Her heart pounded in rebellion. Noelle sighed. But did she have a choice? She’d known from the start that their relationship came with an expiration date.
A few weeks ago she couldn’t have imagined a fate worse than losing her listeners. Now she knew differently. Tate had blasted his way into her heart by being charming and funny and infuriating and caring. By being Tate.
What a mess she, the so-called relationship expert, had made of her life.
It was time to admit the truth to herself. After all the time she spent convinced she’d never find love, that she didn’t deserve love, it was crazy to think she’d found it with the unlikeliest person imaginable. But she had.
She loved Tate. She loved Tate. A joy like she’d never felt before pumped through her body. And now that she’d admitted the truth to herself, it was time to admit the truth to Tate.
What if he didn’t feel the same way?
Wasn’t it time she found out?
Noelle squared her shoulders, pushing aside the trepidation threatening to overtake her joy. Yes, it was. Even if it wouldn’t be easy.
…
Tate peeked at Noelle out of the corner of his eye. They were supposed to be watching a movie, but she’d been acting weird since he showed up at her place. Who was he kidding? She’d been acting strange since the end of their show yesterday. Slightly distant. So slight he’d almost been convinced he was imagining it.
But he’d had to admit he wasn’t losing it when she’d spoken maybe ten words at the game, especially after that phone call. When they’d arrived at her house after the game, she’d run from task to task—from making dinner to changing her mind about what she wanted to make halfway through the process to cleanup to the movie choice. “Let’s watch The Dark Knight Rises. No, The Avengers.” They’d finally settled on The Hunger Games.
But even that hadn’t calmed her down. Yeah, she sat on the couch next to him, but she was biting her lip and tapping her fingers on her thigh. What the hell was going on? He didn’t think he’d done anything. He didn’t think. But who knew what went on in that head of hers?
His whole body tensed. Maybe she’d gotten tired of being with him. His mind immediately shouted “no.” Except it shouldn’t. They’d agreed to keep things casual. It was all he could offer. All he knew how to offer.
He also knew their relationship hadn’t run its course yet.
“Do you want popcorn? We need popcorn.” She’d jumped up from the sofa and taken three quick steps before he registered what was happening.
He caught up with her, stopping her with a hand on her arm. “Doc, wait.”
She turned. “What? Don’t you want popcorn? We need popcorn.” She moved to go around him, but he stopped her by grasping both arms.
Tate peered deep into her eyes, noting the unrest in them. Don’t panic. “What’s going on?”
Her gaze skittered away. “What makes you think something is wrong?”
“The fact that you won’t look me in the eye. You never have trouble doing that even when I’m at my annoying best.”
She offered him a quick half smile before pulling away. “Cute.”
She took off for the kitchen. He was right behind her. He said nothing as she opened a cupboard and retrieved a bag of popcorn. As she stuck the bag in the microwave and started the machine.
Tate leaned against the counter. “Are you ready to talk now?”
Her eyes darted around, obviously looking for something, anything to do. She opened another cabinet, took out a large bowl, and set it on the countertop.
“Now are you ready to talk?”
Noelle pressed her fingers against her forehead. “Sorry. I’ve been distracted. I’ve had a lot on my mind.”
“I can tell.”
She looked up at him and he sent her a sardonic look. Her lips quirked. “Right. I guess I’ve been acting a little strange.”
“As you’re always saying, communication is the key to making any relationship work, so start talking.”
“Who knew my own words would come back to bite me in the butt?” she said with a wry chuckle, rubbing her forehead.
“Stop trying to distract me. Start talking.”
“I got an offer for my book.” She said it with no expression in her voice.
“Are you serious? Why didn’t you tell me? That’s amazing!” He bounded to her, picked her up, and twirled her in a circle. Noelle yelped in surprise and then laughed. Much better. He smacked a kiss on her lips before lowering her to the ground. Her smile died a slow, but steady, death.
His heartbeat quickened. “What’s wrong?”
“I…”
The microwave buzzed. She made a move toward it, but he stopped her again with a hand on her arm. “The popcorn can wait. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong. Something I’ve been working on and dreaming about forever is about to come true,” she said brightly. Too brightly.
Tate narrowed his eyes. “You know you can’t lie worth a damn, so tell me what’s bothering you.”
Noelle took a deep breath. “The publishing company is owned by a larger media conglomerate.”
“Okay.”
“Some of their holdings include radio stations.”
“And?”
“They want me to move to Chicago and do my show for their station there.”
A loud buzzing went off in Tate’s ears. It took a second for him to recognize it as the microwave alerting them that it had finished the popcorn a minute ago. Noelle went over and took out the bag, releasing the fragrant aroma of popcorn and butter into the air. Such a friendly, familiar smell, but it nauseated him. She was leaving?
He cleared his throat. “What did you tell them?”
His heart threatened to claw its way out of his chest while he waited for her response.
“I told them I’d have to think about it.”
A rush of relief almost waylaid him. He shook his head, hoping to clear it. “What do you have to think about? Chicago is a huge market. They’re going to publish your book.”
“I know. That’s what I’ve been telling myself. I would be an absolute fool to turn down this opportunity.”
He turned to the counter, gripping the granite hard with both hands, taking a moment to try to compose himself. What was he supposed to say? “Right.”
“But then…”
Tate whirled around. “But then what?”
“But then I started thinking about what was holding me back from saying yes.” She dropped her face into her hand. “Why is this so hard?”
“What’s so hard?” Stay calm. Breathe. What was she about to say?
“Telling you how I feel. I’m the queen of ‘communicate, communicate’ and the one time I need to do so, I can’t get the words out.” She paced back and forth a few times. “Not that I’m ashamed of how I feel. But maybe I should be.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that I love you,” she blurted out. “Of course, I feel really dumb for feeling this way, but I can’t help it. I’m supposed to be celebrating, but all I can think about is how this affects us.”
“I…”
She stopped directly in front of him. “Exactly. Then I feel stupid even thinking about it because you’ve been blatantly clear about your thoughts on love. I would be stupid to think I had the power to change thirty-plus years of thinking.”
“Don’t call yourself stupid.”
Gray eyes pinned him to the spot. “Why not? Do you love me?”
His brain shut down. No other way to describe it. No thoughts in. No thoughts out.
Noelle stared at him, torment filling her beautiful eyes. She let out a mirthless laugh. “Exactly. And you say I shouldn’t call myself stupid.”
“You should go to Chicago.” The words pained him, but they were the right words. What did he have to offer her? He didn’t know how to commit. He didn’t know what love was. He’d never felt it, certainly not if it was supposed to be a healthy emotion, like others claimed. She deserved better than him, more than what he could give her. “I don’t want to stand in your way. Don’t pass up this opportunity because of me.”
“How do you feel about me, Tate?” she asked in her straightforward way.
“I…” He paused, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I want you to tell me what you’re feeling.” Her eyes pleaded with him for the truth.
So he ordered himself to give her the only truth that mattered even though he could barely force the words out. “I feel you should take the job. WTLK is still in turmoil, and this is a terrific opportunity.”
Noelle rolled her lips inward and nodded. “What about us? You won’t even consider a long-distance relationship?”
He couldn’t let her give up her dream for him. He wouldn’t let her put her life on hold for him. He wasn’t worth it. “We always said this was temporary, and when it ended, we would go our separate ways with no hard feelings.”
“The fact that I love you, does that not count for anything?”
His heart lurched. It was the first time he’d heard those words from someone who probably honestly felt like she meant them. His parents threw the words around like they were door prizes. He couldn’t say the words back to her. How was he supposed to know how he felt? He’d lived his life in the shallow end of the pool, never letting anyone or anything affect him too deeply. Now she expected him to jump into the deep end with no training or understanding of how not to drown? “It does. I…I…thank you.”
Noelle spun away, covering her mouth with a trembling hand. “Wow. I really am stupid. Beyond stupid.”
“You knew how I was when we started this.”
She nodded. “I did, and I have no one to blame but myself. How could I be so stupid?”
He grabbed her shoulder and turned her to face him. “Hey. You’re not stupid.”
She yanked away from his hold. Away from him. It hurt like hell.
“Yes, I am,” she said matter-of-factly. “I knew how you were and I don’t blame you for being you. You’ve been nothing but honest with me. I’m the one who thought I was so smart and I could handle it. The truth is I couldn’t. My emotions became involved, while you chilled the whole time.”
He winced at her blunt tone. “Doc, don’t put it that way. I care about you.”
“But you don’t love me.” She blinked rapidly, her hand clutching her chest like she was having trouble breathing. “I guess it was fun while it lasted.”
Hurting her was the last thing he wanted to do, but he had. Damn. He’d known he was no good for her. His voice quieted. “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want.”
“Don’t be. The funny thing is I’ve never asked you to be anything other than who you are. You have so much to give. You’ve already given me so much, simply by being you. You sell yourself short.”
“I’m not the man you think I am.”
She cupped his cheek, her soft touch offering comfort, understanding. “Yes, you are. I believe in you. What I want is for you to stop being scared and believe in yourself and what you have to offer. Find what you’re passionate about, something you believe in, and go for it.”
He could do her one better. He had to say it. For her. “I already know what I believe. You should take the job.”
Noelle stepped away, her eyes probing his for the longest time. He forced himself not to look away. Finally, she nodded. “You’re right. I should.”