Chapter Sixteen
Noelle drained her cup of coffee while the last commercial played. She needed to get it together. Now. But sleepless nights weren’t conducive to a bright mind. God, what had possessed her to go to that wedding? Talk about an epic disaster.
If Tate regretted breaking up, he’d shown no signs of it. At least not during his show, which she listened to every day like the masochist she was. He sounded the same. No regrets. No sadness in his voice. Nothing that would indicate he felt a tenth of the pain that consumed her every waking day. Not even her callers, usually her safe havens, could make her feel better.
Just when she’d come to grips with the pain and guilt from the past, she landed flat on her butt again. Trying to convince a man who didn’t believe in love that he, in fact, did love you, yeah, that was the height of stupidity. The pinnacle. Mount Everest. But nooo, she’d thought she was so smart. Had the degrees to prove it.
Noelle gripped the porcelain mug between her hands, needing something, anything, to hold on to.
Nothing good had come out of her experience with Tate.
She forcefully shook her head.
No, that wasn’t entirely true. Yesterday, after looking herself in the mirror and wincing at red eyes staring back at her, she’d dried her tears, pulled her shoulders back, and given herself a stern talking-to. It had taken courage to admit her feelings to him and go after what she wanted. More importantly, it had felt right. No longer would she live her life afraid of what might happen if she didn’t maintain one hundred percent control at every moment. She was deserving of love. Somewhere out there, a man existed who would love her as much as she loved him. She’d find him. Someday. As soon as she got over the immense pain weighing her down. As soon as she got over the man she would have sworn was the love of her life. Yeah. As soon as that happened.
Caitlin sent her another look full of worry and held up her hand to count down to the commercial break’s end. Well, that was the only good thing to come out of this mess. Caitlin was the only one who knew about her stupidity, so she didn’t have to endure the poor-girl whispers. Instead, coworkers and listeners constantly asked if she’d considered extending the TAN Show’s run because they had such amazing chemistry blah, blah, blah. Lucky her.
But going over this for the millionth time wasn’t helping her mindset one iota. “Welcome back to Noelle Knows. Today, we’re discussing the downside of love—when you’ve done everything you can, when you’ve done the counseling—but you’re faced with the decision to end it. How do you know when it’s the right time? Let’s go to Barbara in Mansfield. What do you think, Barbara?”
“I believe in love. I love my boyfriend…”
“Why do I sense a ‘but’ coming?”
Barbara sighed. “Because there’s one coming. I love him, but I don’t think I can do it anymore. We fight all the time about everything. Money, what to eat for dinner, the best way to handle our parents, sex. You name it. We fight about it.”
“Have you considered therapy?”
“We’ve gone, but we end up arguing more. My brain is telling me it’s over, but my heart doesn’t want to feel like a failure. How many chances do I give him?”
“There is no magic number. Every situation is different. It sounds like you two have taken steps to repair the rift. However, when there are still significant differences, then you have to give serious consideration to ending it. By significant, I don’t mean getting annoyed because he doesn’t understand that dirty dishes belong in the dishwasher and not the sink. It sounds like that’s where you are.”
“I am.” Exasperation filled her voice.
Noelle nodded. “This is what I know. You can do this. It will hurt like hell, but you’re a strong woman who isn’t defined by her relationship status. As much as I advocate love and working things out, sometimes love isn’t enough.”
It definitely wasn’t for her. Thank goodness she had her work to rely on. To prop her up. To distract her. Even if it had been doing a piss-poor job of it lately.
“Good luck, Barbara.” She glanced at the computer. “The next caller is Mark in Dallas. What do you think, Mark?”
“It’s obvious you told the last caller what she wanted to hear. Aren’t you love’s biggest cheerleader?”
Everything went blank. Her mind emptied. Her heart stopped. Tate.
She looked at Caitlin, who frowned and frantically gestured for her to talk.
Noelle gripped the console with shaky hands. “I never tell my listeners what they want to hear. I tell them what they need to hear. Love can drive us to be better people, but that doesn’t mean that every relationship is loving and positive. Love shouldn’t blind you.”
“No, it shouldn’t.” His voice, so sexy, so smooth, so familiar, rumbled in her ear. She wasn’t strong enough for this. Not even close. Why was he torturing her?
“That’s what I thought,” she muttered.
“Love shouldn’t blind you. It should uplift. If you’re in love, then you need to work hard to make the relationship work.”
What? Where was this coming from? Where was he going with this? “Yes, but if both parties aren’t willing to work, then it’s time to call it quits.”
“Can I tell you what I know?”
Noelle sucked in a shaky breath. “Sure. Why not?”
“This is what I know. Love can scare a man, especially when he doesn’t see it coming.”
Breathe, Noelle. “Y-yes, it can.”
“This is what I know. I need to tell the lady in my life what she means to me. She knows me better than anyone I’ve ever known.”
She blinked rapidly, holding the tears at bay. Barely.
“She’s the bravest person I know,” he added. “She always remains true to herself, even when she knows others might not want to hear what she has to say. She’s the smartest person I know. She’s the most kindhearted person I know. She’s been through a lot, but has never let the bad times beat her.”
Oh, God. Tears slipped unchecked down her cheeks. “Why are you doing this to me?”
The studio door opened behind her. She whirled around.
Tate took a step toward her, his phone held to his ear. “Because I can’t live without you.”
She shook her head, unable to trust this was real. “You can’t do this to me. I’m going to Chicago, remember?”
“I’m hoping you’ll reconsider.”
Ignoring the way her heart leaped at his request, Noelle wiped the tears away. “After everything that’s happened? I don’t see how that’s possible.”
Tate moved closer, his amber eyes pleading. “Hear me out. Remember how you told me I was scared and that I needed to go after my dreams?”
“Yes.” Absolutely. Like she’d said it a minute ago.
“I bought the station.”
She blinked, her brain scrambling to keep up with the conversation. “What? You did? What do you know about running a station?”
“Well, I have worked here for four years,” he said, his tone full of humor. “I’ve picked up a thing or two. And I did run a business, a very successful one, I might add, for almost six years. What I don’t know I’ll learn.”
“That’s great, I guess, but what does that have to do with me?”
“I’m also buying Voices Media stations in Houston, Little Rock, and New Orleans.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow. That’s quite a commitment.”
“Yes. I’m hoping you’ll join me in the commitment.”
Still having trouble latching onto anything solid that made sense, Noelle frowned. “You want me to help you buy radio stations?”
“No, I want you to stay and syndicate your show. You’ll have more listeners in a wider area than you ever would in Chicago.” He reached out with his left hand. “Doc, please. I love you.”
Stunned, it took Noelle a second to digest everything. He’d just said the words she’d longed to hear. Plus, he was offering her an incredible career opportunity and she wasn’t required to take the Chicago radio gig to get the book deal. A dream come true. Bliss tap-danced through her veins.
And yet she ordered herself to rein in her joy. Not to take his hand. As much as she was dying to jump into his arms, she couldn’t. Simply accepting his words at face value wasn’t an option. She had to protect herself.
She swallowed hard. Ordered herself to look him in the eye. “When did you come to these conclusions, Tate? You made it clear you didn’t love me when I told you how I felt after the game and when I showed up at your parents’ wedding.”
He closed the remaining gap between them, tossing his phone on the console, and stroked her cheek. “I’m so sorry for all that. You’ll never know how much. I hope you can forgive me. Believe me, I loved you the night you told me how you felt. Telling you otherwise was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I was scared.”
She stared up at him with wide eyes. “Of what? Me?”
Tate shook his head. “No, I was scared I wouldn’t be able to love you the way you deserve. I had no good examples of love growing up. I’d never been in love before. You needed someone who would treat you right and cherish you.”
Her mouth dropped open. “And you didn’t think that person was you? If I didn’t love you, I’d kick your butt.”
He blinked. “Huh? What?”
“Everything you did for me. Coming to my parents’ grave so I wouldn’t be alone. Taking me on the city tour to cheer me up. Rescuing me from that creep at the club. Making me laugh on a daily basis. That’s love. Being there for and with someone through the good times and the bad.”
“Oh.” He looked so adorable as the truth dawned on him.
“Yes. Oh.” She poked him in the chest. “Don’t talk bad about yourself. You’re way too arrogant for that. I love you, even if you infuriate me more than anyone I’ve ever met.”
“Still? Even after I screwed everything up?”
Her heart melted at the vulnerability he didn’t try to mask. “I see I still have some things to teach you. Yes, I still love you. It doesn’t turn on and off like a faucet. It never will.”
A blinding grin broke across his face. “Can I get that in writing?”
Unable to, and more importantly, unwilling to temper her joy any longer, Noelle wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned back against the strong arms enclosing around her waist. “Probably. But first tell me about buying the station.”
“I have the money and was looking for a new challenge. Besides, I enjoy the radio business.”
“I believe a smart woman suggested you find something that would challenge you.”
“Yes, she did.”
“So, you’re happy doing it?” She searched his eyes, knowing the truth would be there.
He met her gaze straight on. “Yes. I’ve already dug in. I’m only missing one thing—an uppity psychologist to give love advice to the masses.”
She stuck out her tongue. “Better than the structure-hating sports talk show host.”
“I think they’re both needed.”
She leaned in for a soft, lingering kiss. “You might be right. I’m happy to offer my services. Seems I’m forever having to rescue you.”
“Doc, you have no idea. You’re everything I could want and more. You’re the one who taught me how to love. That love existed. You deserve everything good that could come your way, and I want to be the one who gives it to you.”
As he said the words she hadn’t realized she needed him to say, any remaining doubts she might have had melted away. He truly understood her and loved her for who she was. “I love you, too.”
“So are you on board?”
“Absolutely.” Noelle stood on her tiptoes and met his descending lips. The kiss was full of passion as usual, but more importantly, it was full of love. True contentment settled over her for the first time since her parents died. She was right where she belonged. With Tate.
She lost herself in the embrace. In him.
Until loud cheering startled her. Noelle broke away, her headphones slipping to her neck. A crowd of station employees, led by Bobby and Deb, celebrated near the door. She’d totally forgotten they were still on the air, her microphone picking up every word.
Noelle swung her gaze to the right. Caitlin stood in the corner beaming and pumping her fist. Noelle laughed and let Tate draw her back into his arms.
“The audience loves the Tate and Noelle Show,” he murmured against her lips.
She wrinkled her nose. “I always thought the Noelle and Tate Show sounded better. I’m sure if we asked, everyone would agree with me.” She smacked him on the lips, giddiness sweeping through her.
A mischievous grin spread across his face. “Oh, really? Care to make a bet?”
“What are the terms?”
Tate peered deep into her eyes. “A lifetime together. Winner takes all.”
Noelle smoothed a hand down his cheek, wanting him, needing him, to feel her love. Feeling loved in return when he gripped her hand and pressed a gentle kiss to the palm. “Deal.”
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