CHAPTER 9
Zeke
I should have never fucking asked her if she could get herself off.
Our room service had come and gone, but I was still haunted by images of Lia naked, stroking herself to climax.
Fuck!
I hadn’t touched Lia since that first day we’d sprinted for the sea from the beach. God knew I wanted to, but the more I recognized how damn vulnerable Stuart had left her, the less I wanted to rush anything.
My body wanted me to, but my brain was trying to get my dick in check.
I wish I had paid more attention to exactly what Stuart was doing to Lia. The bastard had taken every good thing about her, and twisted it into something bad.
It pissed me off that he’d been able to read her well enough to be able to make her feel like she was nothing.
Lia, she was something. And I knew I had to give her time to realize that all of the problems had been Stuart’s.
Yeah. She was right. I did know her vulnerabilities, but I’d rather support her than tear her apart. Hell, I had a few of my own issues—namely my inability to stop wanting the woman I’d married. Or at least give myself enough time to re-build her trust.
I slammed my hand against the shower control, turning it off way harder than I needed due to my frustration.
I knew that I was no longer going to be able to settle for just having Lia’s body.
Not happening—since I also wanted her heart.
I grabbed a towel and started to dry my body as I thought about some of the things she’d told me.
If it wasn’t so damn tragic, I would have laughed out loud about her assumption that she was cold. She had an enormous heart. She just hadn’t found the right man to give it to, somebody who would cherish the gift.
Lia hadn’t changed like she thought she had.
She’d just had her confidence severely shaken by somebody who should have never been allowed to get close to her.
Maybe she had realized that she didn’t love him.
However, the relationship had gone on too long not to do some damage.
I can wait to try to seduce her. She’s my wife. I just need her to understand that to me, she’s perfect. Always has been.
One of Lia’s vulnerabilities revolved around the loss of her parents and her subsequent move to Washington after that. She’d adored her Grandma Esther, but I knew it had been difficult to lose her mom and dad, and then be taken away from everything that was familiar to her before she even got into high school.
Since she was strong, Lia had adjusted, but it had left some lingering insecurities about caring about people because she was afraid that they’d leave her, too.
Watching her try to come to terms with her grandmother’s death had torn me up because I knew damn well that she was reliving those fears of being left alone. She’d had no family left, so her pain had been pretty severe.
Stuart had come into her life right after Esther had died, and I had to wonder whether she’d been trying to fill some empty place inside her.
Understandable, but not necessarily wise. I should have been there for her more, even if it was just to get her out of Stuart’s clutches.
But I’d been too damn busy feeling sorry for myself because she’d chosen him instead of me. And I’d been licking my wounds because of it.
What I’d confessed to her earlier in the evening was true. I had been envious of Stuart, and I’d had no fucking idea how to handle it except for keeping my distance.
Yeah, I’d thought he was a dick, but I’d never been quite sure whether it was really an unbiased opinion since I’d coveted her myself.
I wrapped the towel around my waist, opened the door of the bathroom to let the steam out, and started to shave.
Logically, I knew it was going to take time for Lia to figure things out. She’d eventually realize that none of what happened was her fault. But I was going to have a hell of a hard time not just getting her naked and proving that she was anything but cold.
Plus, it was going to take me some time to not want to beat the shit out of Stuart for making Lia doubt herself.
He’d taken a woman who was still grieving, a woman who was still hurting from losing the only family she had left in the world, and had turned her inside out.
It took a real asshole to do something like that.
I’m going to have to be patient.
Problem was, I had all I could do not to touch Lia now that she was my wife.
My protective instincts toward her had always been strong, but now that she was mine, I was downright possessive.
I grimaced as I rinsed the razor and put it on the counter.
I think I need a drink. Or two.
Lia had gone to bed early since we had an early snorkeling excursion scheduled.
But I knew I was never going to sleep. I was too wound up.
I walked through the bedroom and went to the small kitchen to pull out a beer. I chugged it down, tossed the bottle and then grabbed a second one and screwed the top off.
“Zeke?” I heard Lia’s sleepy voice say my name softly.
I turned toward her voice, and saw her standing at the entrance to the kitchen.
“I couldn’t sleep, either,” she said as she walked toward the fridge barefoot.
My eyes followed her.
I recognize the red and white cotton shorts and the matching tank top she was wearing. I’d packed them. It was the only pair of pajamas I’d found.
“You okay?” I asked in a rough voice.
She pulled out a beer and tried to unscrew the top. When I saw her struggling, I snatched the bottle, removed it for her, and handed it back.
Lia looked adorably sleepy, her beautiful blonde hair tussled, like she’d been tossing and turning in bed.
She hopped onto one of the kitchen counters, and then her eyes ran over my towel-clad body boldly, an action that made my dick go on high alert.
I wanted her to want me, but when I caught the signals that she wanted me, too, it became damn near unbearable to stop myself from lifting her off the counter and taking her to bed.
“I think I am okay,” she answered, and then swallowed a portion of her beer before she continued. “I messed up big time, didn’t I?”
It wasn’t the first time I’d heard her ask that question through the years, but her wistful tone and the sadness in her eyes nearly sent me over the edge. “Not your fault,” I snapped out. “And you got the hell out of the situation before you married him.”
“I think I was searching for something, and I wanted it so badly that I ignored all of the red flags.”
I put my bottle down on the counter and moved forward, situating my body between her silken thighs. I took the bottle from her hands and put it down on the counter beside mine. “I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t there for you, Lia.”
She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed. “I wasn’t there for you, either,” she said with a sigh. “We drifted apart. And now I don’t know what to do.”
Love me!
I couldn’t make that suggestion right now, but I sure as hell wanted to say it.
If she gave me her heart, I’d never fuck it up. Not anymore. I’d been too damn close to losing her.
“What do you want to do?” I was distracted by the feel of her soft body leaning into mine, but I’d gotten the question out.
“I just want to be with you,” she said hesitantly. “I don’t quite understand exactly what’s happening, but I want you, Zeke. I’m just…scared.”
Every protective, possessive, out-of-control instinct I had for her started to come to the surface. “It’s me. We’ve known each other for a long time. Don’t you know that you never have to fucking be afraid of me?”
“I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid of the way I feel, and the last thing I want is for you to be disappointed.”
“You never disappoint me, Lia. Never,” I said in an animalistic tone I didn’t recognize.
“First time for everything,” she said, sounding uncomfortable.
I tightened my arms around her waist. I knew I wasn’t willing to wait another night. Lia needed to learn just how warm she could be, and there wasn’t another guy who could teach her about that but me.
I’d make her feel wanted.
I’d make her feel special.
And I’d damn sure make sure she was satisfied before my dick ever saw the light of day.
“Say the word,” I demanded, clenching my fists while I sweated it out.
She was silent for a moment before she said quietly, “Word.”
All of the tension drained out of my body. It wasn’t the first time she’d said that, and I knew it was a sign that she was willing.
I didn’t hesitate to put my hands under her ass, lift her up so she had to wrap those beautiful legs around me, and carry her to my bedroom.