CHAPTER 2
Lia
OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod! Stuart isn’t here. He’s not coming to the ceremony.
My fiancé’s brother had retreated as quickly as he’d arrived to give me the news that my husband-to-be had found a woman who was more suitable for him, and that Stuart was backing out of the wedding.
My entire body was trembling, and I could feel the tears of relief falling down my cheeks.
I’d woken up this morning with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’d tried to ignore, but it wasn’t until I’d pulled on my wedding dress in the changing room that I’d realized I couldn’t get married.
Some strange force had finally knocked me in the head to get me thinking straight, and I’d been on my way to search out my fiancé when his brother had told me Stuart’s news.
Granted, the bastard could have told me he was bailing out himself instead of sending his brother, but I was pretty sure I’d never been more at peace with a particular outcome than I was right now.
I pulled the stupid veil that Stuart’s mother had insisted on from my head, and my eyes met a familiar stare as I looked over the heads of the small gathering around me.
Zeke. My friend. The one guy who had never let me down.
He was so tall and broad that he dwarfed almost everyone around him.
My best friend’s startling blue-eyed gaze never left mine as he pushed his way through all of the people muttering their apologies. I found my reprieve by flinging myself into the arms of the one person who had always been there for me, sobbing out all my confusion on his muscular, powerful shoulder as his arms wrapped around me protectively.
“What happened?” Zeke’s gentle voice queried as I settled down.
“Stuart is marrying somebody else,” I said tearfully. “His brother just left. He only stopped by to let me know that Stuart had found a woman much better for him than me.”
And I’m perfectly fine with it.
Granted, it doesn’t feel good to get dumped, and it was humiliating to know that everybody would be talking about how Stuart had dumped the second-class woman he planned on marrying in favor of someone better. But those feelings were already fading away. Really, I’d just dodged a bullet. I was torn between wanting to punch Stuart and wanting to thank him for breaking things off, even though he’d done it in a pretty mortifying manner.
“Fuck!” Zeke cursed. “Let’s get the hell out of here—unless you really want to stay.”
I moved back and shook my head. “I can’t. Not yet. I have to tell everybody—”
“I’ll take care of it, Lia. Go with Zeke.” I felt a gentle touch on my arm as the soft, female voice spoke.
My friend, Ruby, had obviously heard Zeke and me talking. “I can’t just go.”
“Yes, you can,” she insisted. “And you will. You don’t need to make the announcement yourself. Let Zeke get you out of here, and Jett and I will let everybody know.”
“She’s willing to handle it, Lia. Let her,” Zeke insisted.
I bit my lip for a moment before I told Ruby, “Apparently, Stuart and his mother are taking care of the reception, returning the gifts, and all the rest of the stuff that has to be done.”
Ruby snorted. “It’s the least he can do.”
I felt a painful twinge of guilt about the fact that Ruby had no idea that I wasn’t completely a jilted bride. Had I talked to Stuart, I would have canceled the wedding myself. I just would have done it in a much nicer way than my now ex-fiancé had dumped me.
“Let’s go,” I said to Zeke.
I really needed to escape to get my head together.
Zeke grasped my hand and pulled me into the changing area so I could gather up my things.
We were outside the church and settling into his sleek, black Range Rover moments later.
“Where to?” he rumbled as he started the engine.
“It doesn’t matter.” I wanted to be anywhere but at the church.
“My place,” he decided. “Nosy people will be a lot less likely to find you there.”
It was doubtful that many people would really care, but Zeke was a wealthy man, and the security he had in his building was a lot better than mine.
“Okay,” I agreed. His judgment was probably more sound than mine at the moment.
My brain was still trying to process the fact that the wedding I’d stressed over for the last year wasn’t going to happen.
I never cared where I was with Zeke as long as we were together. It had always been that way.
I watched him rummage through the pockets of the suit jacket he’d taken off before he’d entered the vehicle, and I smiled when he finally found what he was looking for. He tossed the package into my lap.
“Thanks,” I said gratefully as I picked up the small bag of Peanut M&M’s and ripped them open.
I crunched on the candy as he drove, despite the fact that it wasn’t helping me clear my mind. Maybe I wasn’t as delighted as I usually was when Zeke tossed me my favorite indulgence, but it didn’t hurt.
For me, chocolate was good for any occasion.
Our silence wasn’t uncomfortable, and Zeke made a couple of quick stops on the way to his penthouse condo.
The two of us had been through a lot together, and sometimes silence was just fine.
I’d mourned and cried with him when he’d lost his father unexpectedly after he’d finished law school.
After that, he’d stayed with me during the paralyzing grief I’d gone through when my grandmother, who had been like a mother to me, had passed away.
For some strange reason, Zeke and I had always sensed what the other one needed. So I knew he was giving me my space, but physically being nearby if I needed him.
“I’m okay,” I said with a sigh as we got close to his home.
“You just got dumped on your wedding day, Lia. I doubt very much that you’re fine with that,” Zeke answered in a hoarse voice.
Okay, maybe I felt like an idiot because I didn’t call off the wedding sooner, but I certainly wasn’t devastated. “He didn’t love me. I made a lucky escape,” I told him.
“I’m sure as hell not going to argue with you about that,” he answered. “But he was a prick, Lia. You’re definitely better off. But I know damn well that you’re hurt. The bastard was obviously cheating on you.”
I never lied to Zeke, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I was actually relieved, and that I’d been going to find my fiancé to break things off when I’d discovered that Stuart had wised up first.
Yeah, it grossed me out a little that Stuart had obviously slept with one or more females while we’d been in a committed relationship. But he always used a condom, and our sex life hadn’t exactly been something I’d mourn. If I wanted to be totally honest, sleeping with him had been something I’d dreaded. However, I knew I’d be running to the clinic where I got my birth control to be tested for STDs come Monday morning.
The sadness I was feeling was more about being thrown away for a female who was better than me in the eyes of a man I was going to marry.
And when it came to disappointments, I was used to it. That was why I tried never to get too close to anybody.
Every time I loved somebody, they inevitably disappeared from my life.
The only person who had ever really reached past my defenses and stayed was Zeke.
My heart ached as I finally replied, “It doesn’t matter, Zeke. I’ll get over it.”
It wouldn’t be the first time a guy had found another woman who was far more responsive than I was in bed. I wasn’t a female who really valued sex in her relationship all that much. In fact, one of my boyfriends had compared me to sleeping with a mannequin. And there was probably a little bit of truth to that, even though it had hurt at the time.
“Bullshit!” Zeke exploded. “Don’t even try to tell me you’re unaffected by this, Lia. I don’t buy it. It’s me you’re talking to, and I know you. You can try to put on a brave face all you want, but you and I both know that deep inside, it hurts.”
Yeah, my heart ached, and he could sense it. But it wasn’t what he thought.
“Really, it doesn’t,” I confessed. “He didn’t love me, Zeke, and I’m just starting to realize that I probably didn’t love him. Maybe I wanted the fantasy that every woman I know has found by now. Maybe I wanted to believe it would work for me this time. I’ll be twenty-eight years old in a matter of days, and I guess I wanted the same kind of relationship most woman have had by my age. Stuart just wasn’t the right one. Honestly, I’m not sure I let him get close enough to hurt me all that badly. He didn’t demand anything beyond a façade, so that’s probably why I thought it would be a good relationship. Neither one of us had to give much of ourselves.”
Zeke pulled into his space at the parking garage, and slammed the vehicle into park before he turned to me. His eyes were the darker shade of blue that always appeared when he was really pissed off.
“You have a lot to offer any guy,” he said gruffly. “You’re beautiful, you’re ambitious, you’re wicked smart, and you’re strong, Lia. Probably the toughest woman I’ve ever met. You should never settle for less than you deserve.”
I swallowed the huge lump in my throat as I told Zeke something I’d never mentioned before. “I can’t really get close to anybody. I’ve tried with every guy I’ve dated. But there’s a wall inside me that just won’t fall down. I’m too damn afraid to let it happen.”
His face softened. “You’re guarded. I know that. But it’s not always a bad thing. You’ve been through way too much to let just anybody in.”
I gathered up the ridiculous skirt of my gown and opened the passenger door as I replied, “I didn’t let Stuart in. I couldn’t. He wanted to change me. Make me into the woman he wanted to be married to, and I let him.”
“I know,” Zeke replied.
As I exited the SUV, I realized just how true my words were. I’d been so damn blinded by the fact that I wanted to share my life with someone that I’d allowed Stuart to take my power. I’d let him change me, make me into a woman I didn’t even know anymore.
Zeke and I didn’t speak as we rode the elevator up to his penthouse, but my mind was still racing.
Yeah, I was grateful that the wedding hadn’t taken place. But I wondered how I was ever going to find myself again.