My mother would kill me if she could have taken a snapshot of my life right now—me heading to a man’s house to spend the night. My mother meant well, but she’d kept me and my brothers under such a careful eye that getting out of Sugar Tree had been the only thing I’d wanted. It was almost like escaping. And yet, she will probably always haunt me.

I shrugged off the feeling of her watchfulness. Why did I feel so indebted to her, like I had to live my life as if watched through her lens? This was fate intervening, I decided. Fate was telling me that I had to spend the night at this man’s place. And I’d known him for less than a week.

Well, at least I’d known about him for many years.

But after tonight, I felt like I really knew him. I got Jake Napleton. And I doubted that many other people had seen this side of him.

“You did really well,” Jake said, glancing over at me. “Back there with Fred and his…friends.”

I leaned back in my seat, staring down at the road. “Thanks, I guess,” I said, trying to get the picture of the gun pointed at me out of my head, remembering how surreal that whole moment had been. “I was just so scared, and shocked. I couldn’t react at all.”

He had his iPod synced to his stereo, playing some 80s music on low that I wouldn’t have thought he listened to. It was nice though, and I listened to Michael Jackson sing about the man in the mirror. He had the AC off, and the vents blew in nice summer evening air.

“Don’t think about it,” Jake said softly, his arm resting between us on the armrest. “Put it behind you. It’s over now, and I won’t let anything else happen. I promise.”

Yeah, I so totally wanted to forget it. Somehow, with Jake telling me to, I could. Already, I felt the fear ebb away, because he made me feel safe. That warm, fuzzy feeling floated through me. It was the first time that a guy had come to my defense, and it was a quaint feeling. I’d never needed saving before, but it felt nice, being taken care of. To know Jake had that potential was startling.

For the rest of the ride, we didn’t talk. We didn’t need to. I sat next to him in his car and did everything I could to resist slipping my hand up his muscular arm. He wore a shirt with a white body and blue sleeves, and the sleeves were so tight on his biceps, I thought they might splice open at any time.

Up close, the man was a gem. My hero tonight. I watched him while his light-brown eyes focused intently on the road ahead. He was a man who rarely spoke, but when he did, people listened. I listened. Everyone freaking listened. That was both good and bad.

And despite his reputation of being a womanizing fighter who played dirty on the mound, someone who cared about nothing more than getting hammered and intimidating his opponents by any means necessary, I wanted Jake Napleton.

I couldn’t help it. I was nearly salivating watching him drive. Just driving. Good God! What would I think if I had seen him do something I actually found hot? Like beating people up. For me.

Okay, I knew it was a bad fantasy. But when Jake had arrived, I knew he’d do whatever it took to make sure I didn’t get hurt. That meant a lot to me. When I’d texted him, he’d come right away. No hesitation, no fear.

“Jake, I don’t know if I said this, but—” I stopped, wanting to say so many things. Then I thought how absolutely absurd it was that I could think these intense thoughts and feelings in just a few days. I’d heard of instant attraction, but had never experienced it until now. “Uh, thanks,” was all that came out. “Thanks for coming back for me. You pretty much saved my life.”

He looked at me, his face tight, as though he was trying to hide his emotions from me. And for a second, we stared at each other, the same way we’d stared at each other at dinner, before I’d left him high and dry. I’d felt glued in place as his eyes had looked into mine, like now. But this time, I could tell he felt it too. He looked away, and the moment was gone. But I’d sensed he’d wanted to say something. And again, getting personal was too much for him. I wondered if he’d ever open up to me. I looked out my window, watching his profile reflected against the glass.

C’mon, say something. Tell me I’m not just a crazy girl with a groupie crush on a baseball player.

“I’m glad you’re safe,” he finally said. He didn’t say anything else for the rest of the ride, giving me nothing to work with. I imagined he would make an expert poker player, given how closely he held his cards to his chest.

“You’ll sleep in my bed, and I’ll sleep on the couch since my spare bedroom has baseball stuff all over it.” He didn’t look at me as he spoke. He was being coolly polite and distant as he stood on the other side of the elevator, and this subtle shift in his mood put me on instant alert. He was probably just tired, but I couldn’t help but think it was something else. “Do you have clothes for tomorrow?”

I looked at myself in jeans and an orange T-shirt. “Just these.”

“I’ll have my agent bring some over tomorrow,” he continued, and the elevator dinged as we arrived at floor 25.

It was the top apartment of the high-rise building in the Gold Coast neighborhood, close to the lake. Jake had been acting weird since we got out of the parking ramp under the building. He was masking it well, but I could pick up on his anxiety. Even though I was taking his suggestion to try to forget about the robbery, I wasn’t sure if he was taking his own advice. Was a guy like Jake scared of anything? It didn’t seem possible, not the way he’d handled himself and controlled the situation.

I eyed his profile. “Jake, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, too quickly. “Just write down your sizes and what you want, and I’ll send a text.”

Since I had work bright and early tomorrow, something businesslike, I thought. Then I really processed his words. “Your agent shops for you?”

He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Don’t worry, it’s her job. And I never give her little tasks like this, so she’ll think it’s fun.”

Her? His agent was a woman? For some reason, that really bothered me. “Oh? None of your other girls have needed dresses?” I asked, now fishing, but he kept his gaze forward. There wasn’t even a hint of his flirty, easy-going charm. I pushed my glasses up on my nose, making sure I saw him as clearly as possible.

He gave me a funny look. “Other girls, yes. Of course.” We walked to the end of the hall and finally reached his unit. His keys jingled as he took them out. As he inserted the key, I leaned against the door. He smiled. “Congrats. This is the first dress I’ll ever be requesting from her.”

I didn’t respond to that as he opened the door. Inside, I found a larger-than-average open-concept bachelor pad. The walls were brick with black and white art on them. Every piece featured two human-ish figures, seemingly vying against each other for something. It was shockingly neat and orderly.

“Wow. I didn’t know you were an art collector.”

“Check out this one though.” He nodded to a piece on the far end of the wall, which was a black-and-white cut-out of Ted Williams. We walked toward it to get a closer look. “Signed,” he added.

If I wasn’t a softball player, I would have had no idea who the man was. “Teddy. Fought in World War II, but still somehow managed to be one of the best hitters of all time.”

“You know who Ted Williams is?”

I shrugged. “What, why can’t I know who he is? I come from a baseball family.”

He walked into the main room, which had a few bookshelves, a TV, and a coffee table. “I’ll be sleeping here.” He patted the couch as I followed after him. He walked to a side room and opened a door. “And you will be in here.”

He put a hand on my lower back as he turned on the lights to his room. It dawned on me how crazy this whole night had been. Stalking a famous ball player, having dinner with him and his cute sidekick, and then almost dying. Well, okay, I could have died if Jake hadn’t taken care of business. And now, I was in his bedroom. My friends back home wouldn’t believe it. My mother sure as hell wouldn’t. Heck, Amy might even have a hard time with this one. I imagined the ensuing conversations with my mother, in particular.

I stayed at Jake Napleton’s house last night. No Mother, I didn’t sleep with him. We’re friends.

Were we? Friends?

“So…Jake. You’ve been quiet,” I said as I walked farther inside his room. I took off my gold cross pendant and put it on his dresser. “I’m just wondering how you’re dealing with…everything that’s happened tonight.”

“I’m fine,” he said, again, too quickly. “Totally fine. This kind of thing happens in bad parts of Chicago.”

“Bet you got loads of stories of growing up here, huh?” I asked, hoping he’d take the bait. But he didn’t. Typical. However, he didn’t give me his usual don’t-ask-me-anything-personal look, just a tired, quick smile.

He passed me on the way to his huge, walk-in closet. From inside, he grabbed a pair of black-and-red flannel PJs and tossed them at me. I barely caught them before he was walking past me.

“Hope they’ll be comfortable enough for you. Night!” he said as he zoomed out of the room.

I threw the PJs on the bed and followed him out. “Jake. You don’t seem fine. You seem off. Seriously, you can tell me.” I reached out and grabbed a hold of a spot right between his neck and shoulder. He finally stopped and faced me.

He had been avoiding my eyes, and finally, he looked straight into them with those piercing brown irises.

“Fine. You know what I’ve been thinking about for the past hour? It hit me when we were in the car, and then in the elevator. I kept thinking…how it would have been if you’d died tonight. How pissed I would have been. It’s fucking silly. But I was thinking that you could have died before I—” His hand moved and gripped my arm. I felt so many emotions surge through me. Jake was talking much more intensely than I’d ever seen him before. His hand moved from my elbow up to my shoulder.

“Before you…what?” I urged and looked at him.

“I’d have been so pissed if you—if you’d died, and I never did this.”

Jake dropped both of his arms down around my waist and pulled my body to his.

I let out a huff of air, and I couldn’t stop staring up at him. Maybe I was being weak, but I didn’t overthink the moment this time. I let it happen. I pressed my hips into him. He reciprocated by pressing his hips back into mine and lowering his lips down onto my open mouth.

“Mmmmm,” I groaned, letting my hands roam his body, feeling the muscles under my fingers.

He pulled away for a split second, and our eyes connected again. “Goddamn, you’re gorgeous. So fucking gorgeous. You make me wanna—”

In another split second his lips were pressed up against mine again. This time, I was ready for him, and I softened my lips to brace for his. My hands grabbed for his butt and only reached as far as his hips.

“Fuck, I like you, Andrea,” he said in a throaty growl as our foreheads touched.

“I like you, too,” I whispered back. He spread my arms out behind me, pushing them toward the sides of the dresser. I leaned my head back and felt his lips move slowly from my cheeks to my neck. He tugged at my orange T-shirt, and I willfully obliged in helping him pull it off.

My body was pressed back up against the dresser, and my chest was pushed out involuntarily. Jake stepped back from me and stared, his eyes everywhere on my body.

“What?” I asked. “Is it my birthmark?” I followed his eyes to my chest on my left side, where I had a red birthmark the size of a quarter that I’d always been self-conscious about.

Jake just smiled and shook his head ever so slightly. He came closer to hug me.

His hips gyrated into mine, and I gasped. I felt it again. The same it I had seen in the locker room.

Back with a vengeance. Dear God.

He backed his hips off me and worked his kisses down my neck to my chest. He kissed my stomach from side to side. I ran my hand through his thick brown hair, encouraging him further, but that same panic that had come out of nowhere during dinner was suddenly back. I wasn’t one of those girls—like the girls Jake hooked up with—that could keep it casual. And I knew that with this man, I couldn’t just sleep with him and pretend it was nothing the next day.

I took things personally. Jake didn’t. There was nothing wrong with it, but I needed to remind myself we were operating on different levels. Even though it wouldn’t be fair, I would hate him and blame him for what I felt the day after, when it would have been my fault for letting things go too far. Dinner had just been the beginning. And sometimes, you didn’t always get your dessert.

I savored the moment, though. I savored his touch and the fact that he wanted to be with me—at least for a night.

His mouth was at my belly, and his big long fingers dipped inside of my jeans. The point of no return. I might regret what I was about to say, but I had to say it.

“Jake...” I had to repeat myself a couple more times.

“Yeah?” he whispered, looking up at me.

The look on his face…I could almost believe he really wanted me, wanted to be with me. That this wasn’t just another night or that I wasn’t some random girl he’d picked up at the bar, but I knew the truth. Reality was rarely pretty.

“Come up here.” I guided him up.

“You okay?” he asked. He pushed my hair behind my ear, tweaking the frame of my glasses. The gesture was almost…affectionate.

“I can’t…I’m sorry.”

Jake’s lips curved upward into a slight, sad smile. He seemed so understanding that saying no to him was almost painful.

“If that’s what you really want, Andrea…”

He waited, searching my face. I nodded. He nodded back.

“Okay.”

And then he left, and once again, I wondered, what the hell was I doing.