Chapter Fourteen

Anthony

I hadn’t been this excited to be at home in a really long time. I had something to keep me occupied, something that I didn’t think I would actually ever be doing. My office hadn’t been used in quite a while, but there I was sitting at my computer in the dim light of the desk lamp. Eliza had sparked something in me earlier, and it was a light that just wouldn’t go out. I knew it was dangerous, but I had actually listened when I set up that dinner and swore to myself that if Eliza decided to forgive me that I would go all out and try to make things work, no matter how scared I got. This was an opportunity for me to show her how serious I was about that. I was just glad that she agreed to go away with me.

I had needed a vacation for a long time, but I could never tear myself away from work long enough to make it happen. Eliza gave me that reason to want to put my life on hold and just spend a weekend away, relaxing. She was definitely a different kind of influence on me.

The people at the airport were pretty surprised to hear from me since I rarely used my private jet for anything. We had a company jet I used for work-related events, but it was very rare to see me actually planning a vacation. In fact, I was pretty sure the last place I took the private jet to was a family member’s wedding in Chicago. Even then I had chartered the plane to fly there in the morning and then fly me home that night, not wanting to spend the time staying at a hotel in Chicago when I could be home doing work. Even the way I had the plane set up screamed workaholic; I was having the company adjust that so when Eliza got on board she didn’t feel like she was on a work outing.

I loved having the plane, but I wished I had more time to use it. My parents thought it was a ridiculous and lavish purchase. Though they may be right, I loved knowing I had the ability to jet off at any time, even if I never did.

I was going to Maine for the first time since my wife died. I have a vacation home there that I hadn’t visited in years. I had fallen in love with Maine when I was just a kid, and while everyone else went on spring break to the islands, I was kicking back on a boat off the coast. It was beautiful there no matter what time of year it was, but especially in the fall when the leaves had changed colors and the skies glowed orange at sunset. I was really excited to get back there and very excited to make use of the house I purchased.

There was something refreshing about stepping out of the plane and taking in the crisp air in Maine. I hadn’t really been to any of the major tourist areas, and I was okay with that. I found the small port towns and off-the-beaten-path homes extremely appealing.

When I originally bought the house, I was in Maine on business. I had the day off and decided to rent a car and go for a drive through the countryside. As I drove along I spotted the house, sitting high atop the hill, surrounded by beautiful trees, with lush landscaping and a view to die for. Immediately I knew that I had to have it for my wife. I drove right up the driveway and made them an offer they couldn’t refuse. Unfortunately, the weekend before I was scheduled to take her there and surprise her with the house, she died in the boating accident.

I locked the keys and pictures of the place away in the safe and tried to not think about the perfect home on the hill. I hired a maintenance crew to keep the place in good shape, open it up on a weekly basis, and do whatever repairs needed, but I had never been sure when I would actually go back to it. Now, I was far enough removed from the circumstance that I couldn’t help but want to open it back up and enjoy the beautiful piece of property.

I took my time talking to the housekeeping company I used, making sure they knew that I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted the place to look and smell like a home away from home. I knew that letting a place sit like that could make it smell damp and cold, but I wanted Eliza to really feel comfortable there, maybe allowing her to open up to me like I had to her. I wanted to know everything there was to know about her. I wanted to enjoy our time, one on one, with no distractions. I knew that she was unsure about everything, especially when I pulled that stunt on the last would-be date that we scheduled, but this was my chance to show her that it wouldn’t happen again and that I wanted to be close to her.

When I was finished with the housekeeping plan and had chartered the plane for Maine, I sat back in my chair really thinking about the day I had purchased the place and what person I was back then. Life had really taken me for a ride since then, and I knew if the man that purchased the house could look at the man I had become, he would have been disappointed. I was an extremely different person back then, but like everyone else in the world, life had hardened me. The death of my wife was only the first step in changing me from who I was that day. From there it was fear that really shaped and molded me. I was afraid of everything from commitment to family, and I distanced myself from everyone for a very long time. It wasn’t until I met Mason that I started to venture out.

At that point, though, life had beaten me to the point where I was unrecognizable to myself and all of the people that knew Amy and me as a couple. Sure, they were kind, brought food, checked on me, but without her there by my side, eventually those visitors stopped. It was eerily silent in our house, and that was when I met Mason at a convention. He was so full of life, and I wanted to be too, but I didn’t want to be the man I used to be. That was too dangerous, and I knew how easily I could be hurt. Still, it was nice sitting there thinking about that man Amy had fallen in love with.

On that day I was still that man, the man who was ready to face the world with love and optimism. I didn’t fear things in life because I knew it all added up to what made life so beautiful. I was extremely loving, and not just to my wife, but to everyone around us. That was why we had so many friends. We always opened our home and our lives to them. I was carefree, ready to venture into the business world, ready to see where life was going to take us, and one of the biggest differences was my lack of fear of love. There wasn’t a single part of me that was afraid of relationships or commitment. In fact, I used to think that love and relationships were the foundation of life, the thing that made life worth living. A vast difference to the current-day me who thought that love was a mistake and feared growing close to someone.

Sitting there, though, finishing up all of the things I needed to do to be prepared for the next day and the trip over the weekend, I couldn’t help but notice the feeling that lingered when I was around Eliza. That feeling that I used to have, my carefree and fearless heart, ready to take on the world. I felt like being around Eliza was not a negative thing in any way and in fact was exactly the reason we were all here. That electricity that ran through my chest when she was close. The excitement I felt whenever I knew that we would see each other soon. Even the bad was waking the old me up inside, and I remembered a time when I went out of my way to feel the bad as much as I felt the good because it was what life was really about. I wanted to die knowing I had made the most out of every day and that my life had been full and complete.

I smiled just thinking about how good I felt and how that feeling had been dormant for a really long time. I picked up my phone and scanned through the names, smiling bigger as I approached Eliza. I texted her to let her know the location, something she was waiting for so that she could pack accordingly. I knew that it was going to be chilly out there, but she was a bright girl and I was sure she would check the weather and bring everything she needed. If not, I had no problem thinking of ways to keep her warm with my body.

When she texted back, I picked up the phone to read her message. She told me how excited she was for this trip and then joked with me, letting me know that I better show up this time around. I winced slightly, still feeling terrible for standing her up. There was no way I was going to miss this weekend with her; it was too important, and I had tried too hard to not screw up this second chance she was giving me. I texted her back a winky face emoji and told her I was excited as well.

I shut off the computer and light and made my way to bed, knowing I had a full day at the office before leaving for the trip. I pulled on some pajama pants and climbed into my soft bed, turning over on my back and staring up at the ceiling. Sure, I was extremely physically attracted to Eliza and had a really hard time keeping my hands off her, but I knew that it was more than that. My feelings were progressing quickly, and they had already surpassed the physical aspects of attraction. She was so beautiful on the inside and out.

The first time I saw her, sitting at the bar at Missy and Mason’s engagement party, I knew I needed to get to know her. She had sparkled under the lights, and her eyes glimmered in a way that was both comforting and alluring. She laughed with the spirit of a child, and her curiosity was absolutely adorable. She looked at everything and everyone like it was the first time she was seeing them. She asked questions, made jokes, and genuinely cared for everybody around her. I was more than lucky to have met her.

Lying there looking up at the ceiling, I knew that she had to be going through some sort of anxiety, wondering if I would be there tomorrow to pick her up. Just the thought of hurting her that way again was agonizing for me, and I couldn’t imagine not being there. We were both so excited about this trip. Slowly my eyes began to close, but as they did I promised myself that no matter what I would be there at four to pick her up and I would let go of everything that was plaguing me, allowing myself to really enjoy the weekend, and enjoy just being there with Eliza.