Chapter 5
~Tracey~
I didn’t know what he meant by that. I figured he was just trying to work out his own feelings. But the fact that he didn’t run away was nice. I got myself together for the most part, heading outside towards the ship. When we got inside, he motioned for me to sit down.
“Buckle up. Have you ever been on one of these ships?” he asked.
“Nope. This is all new to me.”
“Well, you’re in for a treat then. Hold on, and don’t worry, I’ve got this,” he said.
The power in his voice made me smile. Jives did have himself together, even though he seemed to be scared of commitment. The ship ride was fun, way different from what I expected. I thought that it would be scary, but rather it was nice. I gave him directions to the coffee shop, and when we got there, he landed straight in the parking space.
“Is the park close?” he asked.
“Yep. Don’t worry,” I replied.
I walked inside and he followed straight after. He looked at all the strange coffee flavors, a bit unsure of what to do.
“What’s good here?” he asked.
“Honestly, everything.”
“That doesn’t really help, Tracey. I don’t know any of these flavors,” he told me.
“Well, tell you what, I’ll order for you. Is that okay?”
He seemed nervous, but then he nodded. “Fine,” he replied.
I walked over to the counter, about to order two special lattes. When the total was uttered, I grabbed my wallet, but then, he spoke.
“I’ve got this. Don’t worry,” he said.
The tone in his voice was unwavering. I wouldn’t be able to fight him on this. I quickly put my card away, blushing at the words spoken.
“Okay,” I replied.
He paid for the coffee, and soon we sat out on the terrace. He sipped it, immediately contorting his face.
“This is quite warm,” he said.
“Yeah, it’s coffee,” I said jokingly.
“The ones that I’ve been given haven’t been nearly as warm,” he said.
“Well, you can always try something new,” I replied with a smile.
We drank our coffee, feeling the bond between us grow. I did love the taste, and he seemed to enjoy his. He didn’t seem nervous or anything, but rather, simply polite and determined.
“You know, you’re way different after all the walls come down. I mean, I’ve told you this, but you prove this point every time we’re alone,” I said to him.
“That’s because you’re one of the few people that I feel I can be a bit more… myself around,” he said.
I smiled. I took that as a compliment, that’s for sure. Even though he wouldn’t admit it, I could tell that the little smile on his face when we hung out was real, and he seemed to be a lot calmer when we were together.
“You know, I’ve been thinking about my future as well. I don’t really know what I’m going to do. I know that I have my art, which pays nicely, but a part of me wonders what would it be like to travel. To go to a different planet, to work with other species,” I said.
“That’s really something you’ve got to experience for yourself. I do that daily. Being a diplomat is easy, yet quite frustrating. It’s really only annoying when you’re working with people who don’t really know how to deal with things, who don’t know the ins and outs of the various sectors. That can be frustrating,” he explained.
“I see. Well, do you feel like I could ever get somewhere with my art on this galaxy? I never really thought about space travel. That was always Audrey’s idea, and I nodded in agreement every time she discussed it, but I have been thinking about it. I mean, it does seem scary, but at the same time, I wouldn’t mind trying it,” I told him. I felt like it was a bit of a stupid dream. It probably sounded dumb.
“I think you’ve got potential. I know on Klanden arts are rare, and the people there pay good money. I mean, if you ever did want to leave for Klanden, I can always help you out,” he explained.
I didn’t want to do this alone. I wanted him by my side if I did go through with it.
“It’s fine. This isn’t for a while, you know. I’m just happy to finally get these feelings out in the open. Oh, did you hear that I have a new neighbor at the studio? Her name is Sarah. She’s kind of like Audrey, but less in her own little world and way more realistic,” I told him.
“Good. I’m glad. I feel bad for not being in contact, but it’s good that you have a friend to rely on,” he said.
“I am glad. I mean, I really like being around you too. You seem to be so put together. I’m kind of jealous,” I told him.
There was a pause, and then his face began to change.
“I’m not really as put together as you might think. But, I don’t want to get into that. I try to though,” he said.
He seemed almost vulnerable for a second. I wanted to know what it was, why he was scared to be himself. But, I guess he’d tell me when the time was right.
“Well, take it as a compliment. I wish I was as put together as you were. You seem to do a lot for everyone, and I’m happy to see that,” I told him.
“I do,” he replied.
The two of us sipped coffee and made small talk. He seemed reserved again. It was after I told him that he seemed calm and collected. I feared I hurt him somehow.
I mean, he could just tell me, but he didn’t say anything about that. After a little while, I started to motion for him to come with me to the park. When we got there, the din of music started to flood through the air.
“This is nice,” he said.
“Sure is. I’m glad I got to come here with you,” I replied.
In truth, I’d always wanted to come here on a date. I know this wasn’t one, but I mean, it was practically the same thing. He wouldn’t admit that it was a date, but he seemed to be letting his guard down, and I felt like he was considering it.
At the end of the show, there were little dancers that came out, and small fireworks blew up above our heads. I gingerly put my hand in his own, expecting him to swat it away, but he took it and held it tightly, and I smiled.
I knew he wouldn’t show me his true colors, but I had a feeling that the touch of our hands meant so much more than he was letting on. I wouldn’t bother him about it, but I hoped that maybe, just maybe, one day he would finally tell me the truth about how he feels, and about the possibility of a future.