ASHTON
I’ve been wide awake all night, just like I have been pretty much every night for the last week. So here I am at four-thirty a.m., headed to Hudson River Park in an attempt to clear my head. “Till I Collapse” by Eminem is blasting in my eardrums as my feet pound the pavement, my pace punishing. I welcome the blistering cold that envelops my exposed skin. I’ll gladly welcome anything that can pull my thoughts from the one woman I can never have. I have been burying myself with work, so during the day it’s easier to distract myself enough to keep my thoughts away from my future sister-in-law. In truth, I have never been more productive. This week alone, I signed five more clients and am poised to sign another today. But at night, when I am lying in bed, I am unable to get away from her. Those big blue eyes of hers pop into my mind the second I close my eyes. I feel guilty as hell. Mackenzie Hart is incredible; she is easily the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on, but that is merely a small part of what makes her remarkable. She is witty, sweet, intelligent, and an incredible cook—her passion for cooking is a stunning sight. Her smile is bright enough to light up an entire village, and the sound of her laugh is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. She is everything Brock deserves. It’s easy to see why she has my brother head over heels because I am right there with him. I would never act upon my feelings; I could never betray my brother like that. Instead, I try my best to bury them, to squash any fantasy, any illusion that we might have a chance someday. Unfortunately, I can’t ignore her, even though ignoring her would make my life easier. She is marrying my brother and will be a big part of my life; I need to learn to live with that. I continue my run as I try to banish my thoughts from our lunch the other day. Conversation has never flowed so easily with anyone before. Maybe if I spend more time with her and get to know her better, the feelings I have will lessen. I need to spend time with her and Brock together. Desensitize myself. Yes, that is exactly what I need to do, I think to myself. I run the entire five mile stretch and back again. I get back to my apartment and shower, the hot water soothing as it cascades over my aching muscles. For the first time in what seems like forever, I allow myself to relax. Things are going to be better.
It’s a little after seven a.m. when I arrive at the office, and it looks like I am the first one here. Faye clearly was the last one to leave though, because there is a pile of files on my desk that were not here when I left last night. Faye has been a godsend. I was never really that into the idea of hiring her, but so far it seems to have been paying off. Grateful, I dive into work.
“You have been a busy man.”
The sound of my brother’s voice pulls me from my concentration.
“Ever heard of knocking?” I reply more curtly than I intended.
Brock raises a brow.
“Well then, who peed in your cereal this morning?”
I immediately regret my tone. Why am I being an ass?
“I’m sorry, I am just in the middle of something.”
It sounds like a lame excuse, even to me, but my brother just smiles at me.
“It’s okay, I get it.”
“So, what can I do for you this morning, little brother?” I say with a smirk.
Brock rolls his eyes.
“I actually came to invite you to lunch.”
“It’s a little early for lunch, isn’t it?” I say, unable to resist being a smart-ass.
Brock doesn’t miss a beat though and just continues.
“M is finalizing her new menu and wants us to come and try some dishes.”
I’m not sure if it is the thought of seeing her or the thought of eating her delicious food that pull the corners of my lips into a smile.
“You can tell Mackenzie that I will be delighted to be her guinea pig again.”
“Why do you think you earned an invite? M tells me that you two had a great time getting to know each other. I really appreciate you putting in the effort to get to know her.”
A small pang of guilt thickens my throat. Just as I am about to try and wiggle my way out of this afternoon, there is a knock on my door. Faye enters moments later.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know you were not alone.”
God bless her and her inability to wait to be asked in. It sure didn’t fail me this time. I smile at her, probably for the first time since she has worked for me, and it’s not hard to see that it is throwing her off.
“It’s fine, Faye. Please give me a couple of minutes with my brother, and we can go over today’s meetings.”
She simply smiles, nods, and turns on her heels. Bringing her friend to this may be a good thing for me.
“Can I bring someone?” I ask.
* * *
I have a few meetings this morning before it’s time to head over to the restaurant. I’ve asked Faye to accompany me, and she begrudgingly agreed. For some reason I am nervous, and I have no idea why. I am not acting like myself at all, and I inwardly put my foot down when I try to talk myself into changing clothes. I mean, what the hell is wrong with me? We are in a cab headed to the restaurant, and I decide to use these twenty minutes to get mentally prepared to see her.
“Mr. Walker, are you okay?”
I shake out of my thoughts when Faye’s voice pierces through the fog. I clear my throat.
“Yes, I’m fine,” I mutter, a bit annoyed.
Faye lowers her head, and immediately I regret snapping at her.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t take my bad mood out on you.”
“It’s okay,” she says as she stares out of the window. “Honestly, it’s not like I’m not used to it by now,” she mutters under her breath.
I know that I’ve been an ass to her, but I probably wouldn’t have been so bad if she hadn’t been looking at me the way she does, with longing in her gaze. That shit needs to be nipped in the bud immediately. Rather than having to tell her I’m not interested, I’d rather have her think I am a complete asshole and have her decide herself that I am not the one for her.. I admit that I’ve been a little extra lately, so I decide to pretend I did not hear her little side dig.
“I’m pretty hungry, how about you?” I ask.
She looks up, surprise painted on her face. For a second I think she’s too stunned to answer me, but she regains her composure.
“Starving,” she says with a small smile. “I’m sure Mackenzie will blow us away.”
I cock my head.
“I’m sure she will. She is an amazing chef. Have you been to the new place yet?”
“Oh…um, no, I have not. But I’ve totally been meaning to.”
“Well, I’m glad you get to go now then.”
I look out of the window and notice that we are about two blocks away from the restaurant, which annoys me because I want to ask a few things before we get there.
“So, how long have you two been friends?”
“It’s hard to say.”
“Hard to say?”
She looks down at her lap, where her fingers are nervously curling together. I am not exactly sure why she is being coy, but it isn’t hard to deduce that there is something she isn’t telling me. Unfortunately for me, the driver is a lot faster than I thought he’d be, and we pull up in front of the restaurant. Faye scurries out of the cab like a bat out of hell. I pull some bills from my wallet, tell the cabby to keep the change, and hurry after her. I fully intend to continue my line of questioning, but when I step into the restaurant, there are a lot more people than I expected.
“Ah, there he is, my other handsome grandson,” Gigi says as she kisses both my cheeks.
I immediately soften at the sight of her. My grandmother is a beautiful woman; the years have been very kind to her. She’s easily the most graceful woman I have ever known. Brock and I adore that woman, and boy does she know it.
“Hello, Gigi. You look beautiful, as always.”
She places a hand on my right cheek.
“Always such a charmer,” she says with warmth in her eyes.
“Just stating facts, Gigi. You are always the most beautiful woman in the room.”
Gigi beams at me and hooks her arm in the one I offer her. I scan the room, telling myself that I am looking for Brock, but knowing all the while that it’s her I’m looking for. A small twinge of disappointment nips at me when I don’t find her. Which is ridiculous of course, since this is her tasting party, and I know for a fact that she is here somewhere. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I recognize most people here, but there are also some new faces. I assume that they are Mackenzie’s friends. Gigi leads me to the center of the dining room where the largest table sits. I see my name card at this table, which suits me just fine because from where I am going to be seated, I can covertly look around the whole place. The place does look amazing. It was just about a week ago that I was last here, and there wasn’t a piece of furniture in here. I make some small talk with some people at my table, but I have yet to sit down. Mackenzie enters the dining area from the kitchen. She is wearing a full-on chef’s uniform, and I notice immediately the nerves that radiate from her. But God, she is beautiful. She looks up and sees me, our eyes lock, and for a moment—I swear—nobody else is here. She smiles, and my entire world seems to be complete.
“Isn’t that right, Ashton?”
“Huh?” I say without looking to see who asked me what.
“Are you okay?”
My brother’s voice has my head snapping in his direction.
Fuck.
“I am fine. I was just...I was um, deep in thought.”
I look back to where Mackenzie stood just seconds ago, but she’s gone.
“Apparently so,” Brock chuckles. “I was trying to introduce you to Mikaela Kingsley.”
Well, that piques my interest. I look at the admittedly beautiful woman next to Brock and smile.
“Ah, Ms. Kingsley,” I say as I take the hand she offers. “It is such a pleasure to finally meet you. I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to introduce myself at the Gallery the other night.”
“Oh please, no apologies! It was a busy night. And you must call me Mikaela,” she tells me as she returns my smile.
“Mikaela has done the designing and decorating,” Brock says proudly.
“You have done an amazing job here,” I tell her. “I was here just last week and there was nothing at all. You wouldn’t think it could look this incredible in just a few days.”
“Well, thank you. I very much enjoyed the project. It was definitely hard work, but I think we pulled it together. And lucky me, now I get to eat some more of Mackenzie’s amazing dishes.” She smiles. “So, totally worth it,” she adds with a wink.
“Totally,” I agree with a smile.
“So, it looks like we will be table buddies today.”
My eyes dart to the name card next to mine, and her name is indeed on it.
“Uh oh, you get stuck with the bad Walker brother. Did you make someone mad?” I tease.
“Ha! You got stuck with the bad Kingsley sibling, so maybe it’s you who has made someone mad,” she retorts.
I like her; she’s quick on her feet.
We both chuckle, and I pull out her seat. She thanks me and sits down. Brock excuses himself and joins Mackenzie at the head of the table. She clears her throat and directs everyone to take a seat. I immediately oblige.
“We want to thank everyone for coming today. I know you all have very busy schedules and made the time to be here, so thank you,” Mackenzie says as she peers around the room.
“Now, I hope that you all will enjoy the food prepared for you today, but I need total honesty. There is a card atop every plate, so if there is a dish you do not like, please tell us and why,” she says, smiling sweetly. “Every table will have different meals. Those of you that have food allergies or certain dislikes, that has been taken into consideration when we placed you at a table, but if you have any concerns, please let me know.”
Behind her a row of serving staff starts to line up on either side.
“Now, before we get to dig in, I would like ask Gigi to lead us in prayer.”
Gigi, who’s across from me, beams and rises. I didn’t think Mackenzie could win Gigi over any more than she already had, but I think she just did it. The entire restaurant, including the serving staff, closes their eyes and bows their heads, and I follow suit. Gigi says a prayer, and when she closes her prayer with amen, the sentiment echoes throughout the room.
“Without further ado, please enjoy your meals,” Mackenzie announces.
The room breaks into applause, and she beams. Brock pulls out her chair, and she gracefully deposits herself into it. I try with all my might, but I can’t look away. I’m grateful when the server disturbs my line of vision and places my appetizer in front of me. I turn my attention to my table mate on my left.
“It certainly smells amazing,” I tell her.
“Hmmm, it tastes even better,” she says after she swallows a bite.
I take a bite and nod at her. It is, of course, amazing—not like I expected anything less. We make short work of the appetizers, and we chat about this and that. Mikaela is a very welcome distraction. Every time I find my attention floating in the wrong direction, she starts conversation back up, as if she has a sixth sense for my dilemma. She is smart and very funny, and by the time dessert rolls around, we are both laughing to the point of tears. I glance up and meet Mackenzie’s eyes. I swear—for just a moment—I see a flicker of something. Hurt? Jealousy, maybe? I must have imagined it, I tell myself. She looks away, distracted by someone approaching her with words of praise. I tear my eyes away as well, and I know that I need a moment. I get up and excuse myself and start making my way to the bathroom. I get stopped a few times along the way; good thing that I don’t really have to go. I am finally about to walk into the men’s room when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I answer but can barely hear over the noise, so I duck into Makenzie’s office instead. I take the call in here, and I am glad I did because it’s an important client. I walk over to the desk to find a piece of paper to write on. I scribble down some notes and end the call. I look at the pictures on her desk and cringe when I see the one of the her and Brock together, looking so happy. I need to get over this—over her. I am about to leave when the door opens.
Crap.
Mackenzie walks in, deep in conversation with Faye, who is the first to notice me. Her eyes nearly pop out of her skull, and she stops dead in her tracks.
“Ladies,” I greet them.
“Oh, Ashton.” Mackenzie says, hand on chest. “You scared the crap out of me. What are you doing in here?”
“Sorry, I had to take a phone call, and it was loud out there. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Oh, um. No, of course not.”
I want to ask questions, but I want to get out of here more, so I go with the latter. I make my excuses, leave the room, and head back to the table. Gigi is in deep conversation with Mikaela Kingsley. I want nothing more than to get out of here.
“Gigi?” I interject. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but business calls and I have to head out.”
I turn my attention to Mikaela for a moment.
“It was such a pleasure meeting you, hopefully we will meet again sometime,” I tell her with a genuine smile.
“Oh honey, don’t work too hard. You always have been an overachiever,” Gigi says with worry painted on her face.
I lean in and kiss her cheek.
“I will try to tone it down just for you, Gigi.”
“Don’t forget about family dinner Friday night.”
“Now Gigi, how could I forget? Every third Friday night of the month, for my entire life. Have I ever missed a single one?”
“No, you haven’t, but I especially don’t want you to miss this one,” she says conspiratorially.
“Oh?”
She just smirks, and I know she won’t tell me anything else, so I let it go and know I’ll find out soon enough.