CHAPTER 23

 

 

Fawn woke as Seth pulled the car to a stop outside his house.

“Wake up sleepy head, we’re home.” Seth said as he brushed his hand along her thigh. Fawn smiled at him sleepily before unclipping the seat belt and getting out of the car.

As they walked into the house hand in hand, Fawn couldn’t help but think that Seth’s house by the beach feels more like home than her Los Angeles mansion. Seth had already come along way committing to a relationship and she didn’t want to scare him by voicing her feelings.

She followed Seth into the kitchen where he put the kettle on. “Do you want some tea?”

Fawn smiled as she stepped closer to him. “No, but I can think of something else I want.”

Seth laughed as he pulled her close. “Not yet, I’ve got a few things I need to talk to you about first.”

Now wasn’t the time Fawn felt like discussing world politics or future endeavors, all she wanted was to have Seth make sweet love to her before she slept for the next twenty four hours. The past few weeks had really taken their toll. Although she hadn’t rehearsed any more than she had for her previous performances, she remained tired. Now that it was over, she only wanted to rest knowing she had been a success.

“Just make it quick Seth, I’m tired.” Fawn said sitting down on the sofa in the living room.

Seth finished making himself coffee before sitting down on the sofa opposite her. “I’ve been thinking Fawn; we spend about half our time here and the other half in L.A.”

“Yes.” Fawn answered. Where was he going with this?

“I want you to move in with me. When we’re not recording, or on tour I’d like the Hamptons to be our home base. I like knowing you’re coming home with me, knowing this is your home. Here with me. I want us to start planning a future together.”

Fawn’s chest felt heavy as she digested his words. Seth wanted her to move in with him. For a prior playboy this was a huge step, one Fawn couldn’t believe he was taking. “Seth? Have you thought about this? That would mean clearing out a few closets for me, making space for my things…” Fawn’s voice trailed off, waiting for Seth to retract his offer. When he had started talking, for a moment Fawn had thought all her dreams had come true and he was about to ask her to marry him. Fawn pushed the thought aside. That would come later, moving in was already a big step for Seth to take.

He merely smiled, took her hand and led her to the bedroom where he opened his closets. “I’ve already cleared two closets, three drawers and I’ll sell any furniture you don’t want if you’d like us to have yours instead.”

Fawn couldn’t believe her eyes. This wasn’t just a spur of the moment question. This had been thought through, well planned. As her eyes started to water with emotion Fawn smiled at Seth. “I’d love to move in with you…on one condition.”

Seth smiled broadly before asking. “What’s the condition?”

Fawn grinned through the tears that had started streaming down her face. Why was she so emotional? She chastened herself. “No more opening the door without your clothes on.”

Seth laughed, a deep sound travelling over her before he pulled her into his arms. “I promise.” He said before claiming her mouth and setting her body on fire.

 

 

The following morning Fawn woke with bile pushing up her throat. She threw the covers aside and barely made it in time to the bathroom before she retched.

Great! The last thing she needed the night after her big show was stomach flu.

Her shoulders bunched as she heaved again and again. After a while it was just bile coming out. Every time she tried to get up, a fresh wave of nausea washed over her again.

She had been sitting there for what felt like forever when the bathroom door was slowly pushed opened by Seth.

“Are you all right?” His gravelly morning voice asked as he peered around the door.

Fawn lifted her head to tell him she was fine when the bile pushed up again. As she heaved Seth walked over to her and kneeled behind her. Without saying a word he pulled her hair aside and started rubbing her back.

“Oh baby, you’re really sick aren’t you?” He soothed as he rubbed her back.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Fawn said as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “You really don’t need to be here. It’s gross.”

Seth laughed without budging. “Leave? I’m not leaving you here like this.”

“Do you think its maybe now that the show is over, like a distress mechanism?”

“I don’t know. How are you feeling otherwise?” Seth asked, concern lacing his voice.

“Fine, I’ve been tired for the past few weeks, but it’s probably due to the show and rehearsing and everything.”

Seth nodded and kept rubbing her back as the waves continued to come again and again.

After a while Fawn pushed herself up enough to look him in the eye. “Don’t you want to fetch me a glass of water please?”

As Seth closed the door behind him, the wheels started turning in Fawn’s head. When was her last period? Fear started crawling up her spine as she started counting the weeks since her last period.

Seth opened the door with a glass of water in his hand just as she finished calculating. Eight weeks. Eight weeks! How did she not notice?

Seth handed her the glass of water assessing her face. “What’s wrong Fawn?”

Fawn felt her heart beat to a wild gallop, how did she say this without losing him. To Seth it would seem like a betrayal. Maybe she should see a doctor first, take pregnancy test, anything to delay the inevitable.

“Fawn?” Seth urged again. “What’s going on? You seem upset?” His voice was urgent, his eyes concerned.

Without further consideration, Fawn blurted out the first words that came to mind. “I’m pregnant.”

Shock and confusion spread across Seth’s face as he digested the words. “Pregnant? How the fuck did that happen?” He all but shouted.

Fawn felt the tears that were just below the surface start to spill. “The usual way Seth! We had sex!” She shouted through her tears.

“But we were safe, every fucking time. Didn’t you miss not having your period?”

Fawn shook her head and smiled grimly. “Seth between flying to and from, preparing for the show and rehearsing I must’ve missed it.”

Seth watched Fawn for a while without saying a word. Fawn felt dread spread through her, she could see in his eyes this wasn’t what he wanted at all. He might be ready to move in with her, but he wasn’t ready for this.

As the tears kept streaming down her face she looked at Seth pleadingly. “Please Seth, don’t be mad.”

Seth kicked the bathroom closet before shouting. “Fuck!” With that he walked out the bathroom slamming the door shut behind him.

Fawn didn’t even try and stop the tears that rushed down her face, her throat burned from heaving as she stood up.

She collected her phone from the bedside table and searched for Jean’s number. She hadn’t seen Jean in a while, between her travelling from coast to coast and Jean’s work they were hardly in the same city, but luckily they spoke at least twice a week.

Jean answered the phone on the first ring. “How did it go?” Jean asked excitedly.

Fawn sniffed. “Wonderful.”

“Oh no, what’s wrong? Fawn what happened why are you so upset?”

Another rush of tears escaped as Fawn walked through the house. Seth was nowhere to be found, he’d left. “Seth, I think I just lost him.” Fawn said. The tears dissipated as it was replaced by a feeling of loss.

“Honey what happened?” Jean asked.

“He asked me to move in with him last night Jean. Then this morning I was feeling ill, after spending about an hour getting sick I realized I hadn’t had my period for a while.”

“Oh no.” Jean’s voice interrupted. “Did you tell him or take a test first?”

“I told him that I think I’m pregnant. Next thing he starts shouting at me for being irresponsible for not noticing, missing it, and the next thing he’s out. Like out of the house, missing.”

The line was quiet for a while before Jean spoke. “Fawn for any man this would be a big shock, I personally would’ve double checked before telling him. He’s in shock honey, same as you.”

“So what you’re telling me it’s okay that he ran out cursing and fleeing for the hills?” Fawn demanded.

“No honey, not at all. I’m saying give him time to digest it. He probably just went for a walk to clear his head.”

“Hmm.”

“Don’t hmm me Fawn. You phoned me obviously for advice, I’m giving it. Pull yourself together and get to a doctor. Then you start planning on what to do next.” Jean’s voice was firm as it was kind.

“Thanks Jean.” Fawn said before hanging up.

 

Fawn dressed in a hurry, she needed to find a doctor. A few minutes later she was out the door. She didn’t even bother phoning Dom to drive her; she simply got into Seth’s car and drove to the medical centre. It was barely seven, and although it wasn’t an emergency Fawn walked in straight to the nurses’ station with a big smile. For the first time in her life she decided to use her fame to get something.

As the nurse looked up she instantly recognized Fawn. “You’re…”

“Yes. I’m Fawn. I need to see a doctor. I don’t want the press to know about this visit so if it is at all possible can I wait somewhere besides the waiting room?” Fawn smiled sweetly at the nurse.

The nurse smiled conspiratorially at Fawn. “Sure, we’ll make a plan. What do you need to see the doctor for?”

Fawn took a deep breath before leaning closer to the nurse. “I need a pregnancy test.”