I’m lying on my bed in the tiniest shorts I own, my hair shiny and full from just blow-drying it, and I’m filled with smugness. Smugness because I’m lounging on my bed, slowly rubbing my freshly shaved legs against each other, rambling on about meiosis, and I know Kirk is looking. Trying hard not to, but he’s looking.
I’m high off the thrill of having a boy in my room—the danger and potential of it, even if it’s just Kirk. Shy, nerdy Kirk who would never dare to try anything…but I don’t care.
“Let’s go outside,” I say, and Kirk looks completely shocked. But he follows.
It’s an unseasonably warm October night with a full harvest moon, and it’s gorgeous. I take two beers from the fridge, hand one to Kirk, and lead him out to the old swing set in my yard. He stumbles behind me awkwardly.
“Should we bring the books?”
“Nah,” I say. “Let’s just talk.”
I try not to laugh as Kirk takes a sip of beer and makes a strange face. It’s his first time tasting alcohol, and I can tell. He doesn’t frequent the same parties that I do, the ones where plastic red cups crinkle in people’s hands, the ones where all the beer tastes like piss.
“Are you going to homecoming next weekend?” I ask.
“Nah,” Kirk says. “It’s not really my scene.”
“Yeah, I get that,” I say, but Kirk looks skeptical. An awkward silence follows and I’m not sure quite how to break it.
“Hold on,” I say, and run into the house. I emerge with my boom box and a plastic crate filled with CDs and cassette tapes. “We haven’t debated our music tastes yet.”
Kirk grins. “No, we most certainly have not.”
We spend almost three hours lying on the grass with the boom box and our beers, talking and listening, savoring the silences. Kirk tells me how he loves a guitar riff and I tell him how I love a lyric. The biology paper is forgotten.
Kirk, always the responsible one, reminds me how late it’s getting and starts to head out. “Thanks for having me over,” Kirk says, his words heavy with other gratitudes.
“Of course,” I say, and there’s a split second where I’m wishing with all my heart that he would kiss me, and we’re frozen, but he turns away.
“See you tomorrow,” Kirk says, and I’m left with an unbelievable and new feeling of emptiness when he leaves. My heart tightens in my chest.
I think I’m falling for him.
My first day of work nerves are slightly diminished by the fact that I got the initial awkwardness over with during the party on Saturday night, which in retrospect was a good decision. I doubted drinking three glasses of chardonnay to deal with the emotional distress of seeing your ex-boyfriend was condoned at a company as illustrious as the Torver Corporation.
I was relieved once again to see Sabryna as I walked into the office.
“Good morning,” I said, trying my best to exude confidence.
“Ready for your first day?” Sabryna asked.
“Yup.”
“Great, I’ll show you to your new office.” Sabryna smiled giddily and led me down a hallway to a room situated in the corner. “Here we are.”
I gasped as I looked around the room. I thought only Johnathan’s office was expensively furnished and high-tech, but it looked like I got to join in on the fun too. My office had a similarly exquisite looking mahogany desk, except mine was engraved with a tiny leaf design on the edges. A bouquet of freshly cut pink roses was already sitting in the corner in a crystal vase. A window looked out at the shimmering Seattle skyline, and I gasped at the view. There was even a tiny video intercom on the wall and a tea kettle sitting on the counter. When I went to look by the chair, a gift basket of expensive chocolate and wine was awaiting me.
“Is this a joke?” I exclaimed to Sabryna.
She laughed. “Nope. People aren’t kidding when they talk about how loaded Johnathan and the Torver Corporation are. We like to make sure our employees are treated like royalty here.”
I giggled. “How on earth am I ever going to get used to this?”
Sabryna shook her head. “Oh, you will. Two months into working here I could barely eat at Chipotle without wishing I had caviar to dip my tortilla chips in.”
I looked out the window and shook my head in disbelief. “This place feels too good to be true sometimes, doesn’t it?”
“Well, for now,” Sabryna said. “Johnathan expects hard work. It’s not string quartets and lobster thermidor all the time. You’re gonna put in some long hours. But you’re tough. You can handle it.”
“Thanks, Sabryna,” I said.
“No problem,” she said. “And you have a meeting in an hour in the conference room, okay?”
“Got it,” I said, sinking down into the surprisingly luxurious ergonomic office chair to take in my surroundings. I was almost suspicious at how nice the Torver Corporation was…the Buffalo girl in me sensed bribery, but I supposed this was just how people did it in the wealthy, big-city world of Seattle. I bit into a chocolate bar that was infused with saffron and cranberries. Not bad. I guess I may as well enjoy it here.
But then there was still the issue of Kirk. Was he going to be at this meeting? Was he going to act cold towards me again? Should I just give up trying to be his friend and back away? I didn’t want to though. I missed him.
I have always, always, missed him.