Eleven
It took three days – three whole days – before Natalie felt like she could handle leaving her phone on. It wasn’t as if she was hiding out from everyone. She had called her parents and let them know she was all right, she’d called in sick to work and ordered takeout. Other than that, the phone stayed off.
Julianne had reached her through Kayla that first night to let her know that Jayce was gone and to tell her what transpired between him and Gavin.
“Well, he’s pissed,” Julianne had said when Natalie got on the phone.
“I figured that out from all of his messages. Please tell me he didn’t do something stupid to Gavin.”
Julianne chuckled. “According to Gavin, he came here and started yelling and demanding to see you, but after Gavin let him search the whole house and he saw that you weren’t here, he calmed down.”
“O-kay…”
“They sat and talked for a while. Gavin sort of took the guy approach…”
“Guy approach?”
“You know…the whole ‘What do these women expect from us?’ sort of thing. And in Jayce’s mind, the two of you have traditional roles. You’re the woman and you take care of the house and anything that goes with it – cooking, cleaning, laundry – and he works to pay for it all.”
Natalie wanted to argue or at least be upset but she knew she was as much at fault for that thinking as he was. She liked those roles – she wasn’t the kind of woman who was looking to rule the world; she wanted to marry a man who would take care of her and be her equal, her partner.
“So basically, he thinks he married a housewife from the fifties,” Julianne stated.
“What else did he say?”
“Gavin tried explaining to him how it needs to be a partnership between the two of you and why it’s important to help each other out so it’s not just one spouse – you – doing all the work.”
Natalie could only imagine how Jayce had taken that.
“He called Gavin a pussy.”
Yup.
“How long did he end up staying?”
“He was here for about two hours and…from what I got from the whole thing…eventually, Jayce seemed to understand the problem.”
“O-kay…” she said again slowly.
“However,” Julianne said cautiously, “this is not going to be a quick fix, Nat. This is something that’s going to take time and you’re going to have to know that if you go back, it’s going to be hard.” She paused. “Do you…I mean…have you thought about if you want to go back?”
“It’s too soon…”
That had been Sunday night and here it was Wednesday night and she still wasn’t any closer to knowing what she wanted.
Staying at Kayla’s was a godsend. It was a little weird to be alone so much, but not completely in a bad way. One of her biggest struggles was how she knew she was a creature of habit and if her husband truly wanted to see her and talk to her, he could have found her. He knew when she went to the gym and…well, okay…she hadn’t gone to work so he wouldn’t have found her there, but through process of elimination, he could have figured out where she was staying if he really tried.
But Jayce never tried. He was content to let others do the work for him.
Which was why it surprised her Wednesday night when she received a bouquet of flowers from him. Roses. She hated roses. Rolling her eyes, she put the vase on Kayla’s kitchen table, then stood back and looked at them with mild annoyance. With a heavy sigh, she took the card from the bouquet and opened it.
I miss you. Jayce
Not even signed with love…
He probably got her parents or Gavin to tell him where to send them.
And without an ounce of regret, she picked up the arrangement and threw it in the trash.
How many times had they had the flower conversation? Dozens! She’d told him her aversion to them – from the smell, to the fact that they were the most common flower you could find. She loved lilies and wildflowers and flowers that were big, bold and different. Roses? Um…no.
On Thursday morning, she went to work. Luckily her office wasn’t far from Kayla’s place and she opted to walk rather than drive. The weather was mild enough to pull it off and it felt good to be out in the fresh air. Her job managing a doctor’s office was challenging and wonderful and she worked with an amazing group of people. When she had called in on Monday, her assistant didn’t ask for any specifics, but Natalie knew she’d only be able to keep her situation to herself for so long.
When she walked in the door, half of her staff looked at her with big smiles on their faces.
“Um…what’s going on?”
“Well…,” her assistant Patti said with an even bigger smile. “At first we thought that maybe it was your anniversary, but then I remembered that wasn’t until next month. And it’s not your birthday…so we figured it had to be something big!”
Confusion was making her head spin. “I don’t understand…”
They all stepped aside and motioned to her office. Dread threatened to choke her as she got closer. More roses. A giant teddy bear. And a box of chocolate – and not even the kind she liked.”
With her head hung low, she let out a breath and mentally cursed. She knew her staff was standing behind her expectantly and she forced herself to straighten and face them.
“Okay, here’s the deal,” she said firmly, “I left my husband.”
They all gasped and looked at her in shock. Natalie was certain they all had questions, but she wasn’t ready to answer them yet.
“So if you all don’t mind, I don’t really want to talk about it and I don’t really want all of this stuff either. Help yourselves to the flowers, the candy and the bear. Just…take it. I don’t want it.”
“Natalie,” Patti began, but she immediately cut her off.
“Please. I just can’t deal with it right now.”
They offered kind words and sympathetic looks as they removed all of the gifts from her office. If the chocolate were her favorite kind – dark chocolate truffles – she might have forgiven the damn flowers. All it did, though, was prove that her husband paid no attention to her at all. How had she gone for so long without noticing that?
Oh yeah…because she bought most of the stuff herself or Jayce’s assistant did.
That stopped her and her heart squeezed painfully in her chest.
His assistant knew all the things she liked – Natalie had given her the list herself! So if all of this stuff coming to her was wrong, it was because…
Jayce was doing it on his own.
Slowly, she walked around her desk and sat down.
It wasn’t enough to make her want to go home, but it was enough that it gave her the tiniest glimmer of hope.
For now, it was something.
And it was more than she had when she woke up this morning.
****
“Good morning! I’m Julianne and this is Zumba! Do we have any first-timers here today?” Julianne said as she began her usual dialogue. Several people raised their hands. “Awesome! I am so glad you decided to join us today! This is a cardio dance class but don’t worry if you don’t have any dance experience, you don’t need any. And don’t worry if you don’t pick up the steps right away because we’ve all been there!”
The music started and everyone started moving and. if anything, there were too many people. There was filling a room and then there was filling the room. Julianne looked out and made eye contact with Harper and she knew what she was thinking…help! Nodding, Harper danced her way toward the exit and went to go find Debbie and see if she could possibly move some of the people to one of the other studios with another instructor.
At least…that’s what she hoped Julianne was trying to say.
Ten minutes later, there were about twenty people less in the room and everyone shifted and seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief. Harper danced her way back to her spot next to Natalie and gave her sister a thumbs up.
She was on her game today –she was revved up and energized for class and she was excited to go with Julianne to Enchanted Bridal afterwards and talk to the girls there about shoes and flowers and photography…yup, she was looking forward to it all.
Her good mood was absolutely attributable to Brady. Specifically, incredible morning sex with Brady. While part of her had wanted to just lie in bed and be boneless after the multiple orgasms, she also felt invigorated and ready to take on the day. Of course, Julianne had taken one look at her and smirked, “Do you really need another workout this morning?” to which Harper laughed. No, she didn’t need the workout, but this was their thing and it was bad enough that Kayla wasn’t here to make their little squad complete.
Neither Harper nor Julianne had the courage to ask Natalie if she wanted to come with them after class. After all, it just seemed mean to be including her in wedding plans when her marriage was such a mess. Still…she knew they’d have to address it after class.
Pushing all negative thoughts aside, she cha-chaed. She mamboed. She belly danced and she flamencoed. And by the time the class was over, she was dripping with sweat, her heart was racing and she still felt good.
Yay, me! She cheered for herself in her head.
“Anyone up for brunch?” Natalie asked after the room cleared out.
“Um…” Julianne started.
“Uh…” Harper said at the same time.
Natalie looked between them. “What? What’s going on?”
Julianne sighed. “I have to go by Enchanted this morning. Penny mentioned some stuff about shoes and flowers and a potential photographer and so I called Hailey to see if I could come in this morning after class.”
Natalie frowned for a minute. “Oh.” Then she looked at Harper. “And you’re going with her?”
She nodded.
“Is this just a sister thing or can I come too?” Natalie asked.
Both Julianne and Harper’s eyes went wide with surprise. “Of course you can!” Julianne cried. “I didn’t want to ask you because I didn’t want to drag you someplace that may make you sad!”
Natalie waved her off and they started to walk toward the locker room. “I’m fine. Really. And helping you plan your wedding is actually a nice distraction. I can see now how I was ignoring the things about Jayce that I didn’t like in hopes of him changing. I never should have done that. Probably shouldn’t have married him either.”
“Nat, come on…not everything about Jayce is bad,” Harper said and then almost tripped when Julianne smacked her in the head. “Ow!”
“What is wrong with you?” Julianne hissed.
“No, it’s okay,” Natalie said as they came to stand in front of their lockers. “She’s right. Not everything about Jayce is bad. But the things that are? They’re big. And they’re things that I know I can’t live with.”
With towels and toiletries, they walked over to the showers and each took a stall. “Have you heard from him?” Julianne asked.
She probably didn’t want to share these details in the public shower stalls, but for the next ten minutes, that’s exactly what Natalie did.
“So…wait…,” Julianne said as she wrapped a towel around her and stepped out of her stall. “He has sent…how many dozens of flowers?”
“One on Wednesday, there were four when I got to the office on Thursday and then yesterday he changed it up and sent me another four – but they were tulips that time.”
“Okay, so he’s learning. Kind of,” Harper said as she stepped out and joined them. “Have you talked to him at all?”
“I texted him after the tulip delivery to tell him that they were lovely.”
The sisters looked at her expectantly.
“Nothing more, nothing less.”
“And how did he respond, Nat?” Julianne demanded.
“He asked if we could talk and I told him I wasn’t ready yet.”
“Wow…good for you,” Harper said. “Standing your ground. I’m proud of you.”
They all got dressed and by the time they were in Julianne’s car heading to Enchanted, the topic changed from Natalie’s marriage to Harper’s new and incredible sex life, which was not a topic Julianne was particularly interested in. She loved her sister and they shared everything with each other, but this whole Brady thing still left Julianne feeling more than a little weird. She wanted to be okay with it, to be able to admit that she’d misread the situation and move on but…she couldn’t.
And she couldn’t for the life of her figure out why.
“Oh God…and the dirty talk…”
Yup. She wanted to plug her ears and sing out “La-la-la-la-la-la-la!” but she couldn’t. For starters, she was driving. And also, it was childish. She should be so happy for Harper. She was dating a great guy and she was happier than Julianne had seen her in a long time. But the thought of having to face Brady – which she had been really good about avoiding – made her feel…awkward. Uncomfortable.
And incredibly stupid.
All the things she hated feeling.
Luckily, the drive was short and she managed to quickly change the subject as soon as they were all out of the car. “So…shoes!” she said brightly. “I’m hoping to tackle the shoes first, then flowers, then photographer. Sound like a plan?”
“I love the idea of shoes first,” Natalie agreed. “You know I love to shop for them any time.”
So it was agreed.
And for a couple of hours, Julianne managed to put herself in wedding-mode – the place where all she had to think about were secondary details and nothing life-changing.
And it was wonderful.
****
“Is it wrong that I’m dreading going home?” Kayla asked as they waited for the plane to taxi to the gate.
Tilting his head toward her, Adam frowned at her. “Depends on why you’re dreading it. If it’s because we had a great time away together…”
“We nearly got swept away in a flood,” she interrupted. “I lost one of my cameras and a shoe.”
“Okay, so it wasn’t one of our better trips…”
“That’s one way of putting it,” she muttered.
Straightening, he turned toward her and sighed. “Why are you dreading going home? Is it because of Natalie being there?”
It sounded bad enough in her own head. Hearing Adam say it out loud was even worse. “I’m a horrible person, right? I mean, seriously horrible! The poor girl has no place to go and I offered her a place to stay and now…now I kind of regret doing it because she’s going to be there and there’s no space for the two of us…”
“She seemed fine with sleeping on the couch,” he reminded her.
“I know she did but at the time I don’t think she was thinking too much about it. After a week of having the place to herself and sleeping in a bed, I’m thinking it’s going to be awkward to ask her to sleep on the couch.”
“So you’re saying you want to share your bed with her? Maybe spoon with her?” he asked with a straight face, but she knew he was teasing.
“I think you know me better than that…”
He laughed softly, picked up her hand and kissed it. “I do know you better than that, but I get what you’re saying. If your place was bigger and you had more space or at least a guest room, this probably wouldn’t be an issue.”
“It still might be…it’s not like Nat and I are the best of friends or anything…”
“Maybe she can go stay with Julianne,” he suggested.
It was a possibility, she thought, but the image in her mind showed her asking Nat to do that and Natalie looking at her like some sort of stray dog who she kicked back out into the street. Ugh…she definitely couldn’t do that.
“No…I’ll just have to deal with it and figure something out. She’s already left her own home. I don’t think it’s fair to kick her out and keep bouncing her around from place to place. That would just be wrong.”
The plane came to a stop and all around them, people started to stand and gather their belongings. When Kayla went to stand, Adam stopped her.
“What if you didn’t go home?” he asked slowly.
She stared at him in confusion. “Um…a little too late for that. We’re already here. Well, back in North Carolina anyway. And besides, where would I go? Am I supposed to stay at a hotel so Natalie doesn’t have to sleep on a couch? That seems kind of counterproductive.”
His expression was of mild amusement as he studied her. “That wasn’t quite what I was thinking.”
“I guess I can call my mom and maybe crash there for a few days,” she commented. The thought held little to no appeal but at least she’d have a little more space and the possibility of some privacy. “But all of my computer stuff is at my place and I don’t want to unhook it all and lug it all over the place.”
“I have a good computer,” Adam said conversationally. “Top of the line. All the bells and whistles and whatnot. Newest edition of Photoshop too.”
“Hmm…I mean I guess I could do my work at the office and stay at my mom’s…” It would be like having to go to the office to work like a normal person – and put on pants every day…
“That’s not quite what I was getting at,” he said after a minute.
People were starting to move off the plane and Kayla looked at them and then at Adam. “Aren’t we getting up?”
“Eventually,” he said and then with one finger, he turned her head so she was looking right at him. “I wasn’t talking about you using the computer at the office, Kayla.”
So…he was going to lend her one to keep at her mom’s? Which is what she asked him and her eyes went wide when he growled with frustration. “What? I mean it would be the same as me moving my computer and that’s always tricky because you don’t know if anything will shift or get banged around in transit and…”
“And maybe you can just come and stay with me – live with me,” he corrected, “and understand the things I’m trying to tell you.”
“Um…say what now?”
His grip on her hand grew tighter. “Live. With. Me.”
“Adam…that’s…I mean…we never talked about that.”
“We’re talking about it right now,” he countered.
“This is the middle of a crowded airplane! It really isn’t the time or the place to talk about moving in together, even temporarily.”
He immediately released her hand and stood up, muttering an apology to the people he banged into. Kayla slowly came to her feet and took her carry-on bag from him when he handed it to her. For the life of her, she couldn’t understand why he was so upset.
It wasn’t wrong not to make important life decisions while on a plane – that was not an unreasonable request. What was unreasonable was him getting in a snit every time she didn’t readily agree with him. Adam’s back was to her and she slipped her phone out of her bag and turned it on. While they were waiting to merge into the mass exodus, she tapped out a quick text to Natalie to let her know of the change of plans. No doubt she was already parked somewhere close to the airport and waiting for them, but she didn’t want to throw any surprises at her either once they got in the car.
When the line started to move with them in it, Adam turned and brusquely asked, “Did you let Natalie know we landed?”
“Yup. She’ll probably be outside of baggage claim waiting for us by the time we’re done.”
He nodded and they walked in silence to collect the rest of their bags. Kayla didn’t mind the silence; it gave her time to think – which is what she liked. Adam tended to think things out and then throw them at her and want her to immediately agree with him without thinking. Well…Kayla was going to deal with that.
They stepped outside and, as predicted, Natalie was waiting. She greeted them both with a huge smile and immediately began asking questions about their trip. It was a wonderful distraction and Kayla was more than happy to let Adam do most of the talking. His place wasn’t far from the airport and within fifteen minutes, they were pulling up in front of his house.
“Thanks for the lift, Natalie,” he said pleasantly as he climbed from the car. Kayla met him at the trunk and he seemed surprised when she pulled out her suitcase along with his. He placed his luggage down on the driveway and studied her. “What are you doing?”
She shrugged. “What does it look like?”
A small smile tugged at his lips. “It looks like you’re taking your stuff out of the trunk. Planning on moving it to the backseat of the car?”
“Nope.”
“I see.”
She nodded toward his house. “You have a laundry room, right?”
“I do.” His smile grew.
“And…you have food in the refrigerator, right?”
“Some, but I was planning on getting some takeout tonight.”
“Do you think you could plan on getting some takeout for two?”
“Ugh, you guys!” Natalie called as she stuck her head out the car window. “Can you do this whole playful Q&A away from the back of the car? Some of us need to go find out if someone’s going to love it or list it. And you know they only run five or six episodes in a row so…keep it moving!” She smiled brightly and then gave them a happy little wave when they picked up their luggage and began to walk toward the door.
“Does she realize what just happened here?” he asked as they walked into the house.
“When I texted her about our arrival, I told her what was going on.”
Adam put the luggage down and walked into the kitchen to grab them both something to drink. “And what is going on?”
Sitting down at the breakfast bar, she took a sip of her soda and began speaking with complete and total honesty. “What’s going on is that you need to stop making these decisions for us without talking to me first. And you need to stop getting pissy when I don’t agree with you on your decisions right away.”
The look he gave her clearly said he wasn’t expecting that from her.
“You weren’t asking me about something trivial, Adam; you were asking about a major life decision. I was going to need more than a minute to think about it and it wasn’t wrong to not want to talk about it on the plane.”
Rather than argue with her, he nodded in agreement. “You’re right. Go on.”
“For all I know, you did just come up with the idea of us moving in together,” she said, “and it didn’t even scare you to think about it. But Adam, you should know me well enough by now to know I don’t think like that. And asking for time to think about it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to say no.”
He nodded again. “Again, you’re right.”
She sighed. “If this – what we have – is going to work, then we have to communicate better. I promise I’ll try to stop being so…me,” she said with a laugh, “but you have to promise you’re going to be better about how you approach things where our relationship is concerned.”
Then she waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Adam took a long sip of his soda and put the can down. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this is us…communicating.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “I think it is.”
“We never did this before.”
She shook her head. “No, we did not.”
“I think I kind of like it.” He walked over to her and stepped in close, then tugged her off the stool so he could wrap his arms around her. “And I’m glad you’re finally talking to me about…us.”
He kind of had a point there. In the past, she used to avoid any kind of personal conversation like the plague. It was easier to make jokes or talk about work. But now she realized that what they had deserved more than that. He deserved more than that.
Hell, she deserved more than that.
“I can’t promise you that I’m going to magically turn into the kind of woman who wants to talk about my feelings or that I want to start planning…” a wedding “…where we’re going to vacation next year. But I do promise to try to stop being so self-absorbed that I don’t take your feelings into consideration.”
And when he held her tightly and kissed the top of her head, Kayla silently prayed that he couldn’t feel her trembling or her heart racing.
A wedding? Had she almost just mentioned planning a wedding?
“I think we need to celebrate,” Adam said, his voice a little husky. And when he took her by the hand and led her to the bedroom…their bedroom…she forced herself to stop thinking and just enjoy the moment.