EMMA LED CLAYTON upstairs, trying not to react to his angry mumbling behind her. They made their way back to the nursery and stepped inside. The large room was painted a muted yellow, and the tall ceilings made the room feel larger than it was.
The nursery was in the middle of four smaller bedrooms and served as a playroom off of what Jamie and Sophie hoped would be their many children’s bedrooms.
Sarah sat in one of the rocking chairs next to a swinging bassinet, and her sister sat in the one by the window. Both ladies stood when the couple entered.
“You’re fine,” Emma whispered, and waved them back down. “How’s Junior?”
“Oh, he’s perfect, Mrs. Madden,” Sarah said, still standing. “Finally asleep. Shall I take Master Henry?”
“I was going to feed him first, but yes, afterwards would be appreciated.”
“Mrs. Ford has the west room set up for you. Shall I show you?”
“I know the way. But thank you.”
Emma headed through the closed door into the bedroom and handed Henry to Clayton so she could adjust the top of her dress to breastfeed. Once settled in the chair closest to the window, she reached for Henry and guided him to her breast. “Stop glaring at me, Clayton. Speak your mind. We’re alone.”
“I don’t understand why you feel the need to be alone with Mr. Battaglia. It’s not right.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. “Mark has been my best friend for a long time, Clay. I used to tell him everything. I was closer to him than I was even to Sophie, and you know how close I am to my sister. He was there for me during Sophie’s illness and then her disappearance. I wouldn’t have made it through without him... and Hannah. I don’t get why you’re overreacting, it’s not like we ever dated or anything. He’s like a brother to me. That’s it.”
“A brother does not act the way he does.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Clayton paced the room, his face pinched in irritation. “That man is entirely too interested in placing his hands on you, and I’m not comfortable with that. I don’t ‘get’ why you aren’t understanding that. Not to mention the fact, he’s seen you naked.”
“Clayton. One, I’m usually the one who hugs him, and two, he’s never seen me naked.”
“Close enough.”
“A lot of people saw me in my dance clothes, baby, and just as many more probably saw me in a bikini.”
“What’s a bikini?” he asked in suspicion.
“It’s basically modern-day underwear, like what I wore on our wedding night, and after. But you wear it when you swim. At the beach, or a pool, or wherever.”
Horror covered his face. “You wore those in public?”
“Yes.”
Clayton swore loudly, startling Henry. Emma calmed the baby and shifted him to her other side. “Clay, I don’t know what to say to make you feel better.”
“I want you to promise never to be alone with Mark Battaglia.”
He nodded.
“And what constitutes ‘alone’?”
“I want you to have at least one other person with you. Another woman, preferably, or me.”
She stared at him. “So, I’m never to be alone with him and another man?”
“Emma.”
“What? Clarify this for me, please. Is it all men, or just him? Because what you’re asking me to do is ignore one of my best friends in all the world, of all time, really.”
“He’s too familiar with you.”
“So is Jamie,” she snapped.
“Jamie’s your brother.”
“Not by blood, he’s not. By law, yes, but if he and I wanted to run off together, we could. Sophie may rip my head off, and kill him slowly and painfully, but we could do it.” She glared at her husband. “And what about Chris? Or Andrew? Two men I often have the chance to spend time with alone, should I so desire. Do I need to make sure a woman is with me when talking to them?”
“Damn it, Emma, you’re blowing this out of proportion.”
“I’m blowing it out of proportion? I’m simply pointing out that I have several men close to me. Ones I also consider friends.”
“It’s not the same.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re not attracted to them, and even if you were, neither of them would ever touch you.” He scowled. “I’d kill them.”
“You think I’m attracted to Mark? You can’t be serious.”
He shrugged.
Emma sighed, shifting a sleepy Henry onto her shoulder. “Hold that thought,” she said, and walked her son back to the nursery. Once she’d handed him off to the capable nanny, she returned to Clayton and faced him, linking her fingers with his. “I need you to understand something. I have never loved anyone the way I love you. Mark and I could have been much more than friends if we’d wanted to, but the fact is, we never did. We’ve always been better off as friends. And with you in my life he couldn’t qualify now, anyway.”
“What about your dancing?”
“What about it?”
“I’m not happy with the fact he... ah... was so close to you when you were in such a state of undress, and I’m not convinced he didn’t enjoy it just a bit too much.”
Emma giggled. “Babe, the man’s been really close to several more women who have worn less than I ever did, including Hannah and Rayne. And believe me, with Hannah in the room, Mark never saw anyone else.”
“He and Hannah...?”
Emma shook her head. “No. Believe it or not, he was scared to death to ask her out. The only woman who ever got the better of him, in fact.” She gripped his chin. “But you may not tell Chris. Ever. Capisce?”
“What did Hannah think of him?”
“She wasn’t interested. Hannah’s always had a different approach to dating than me. I think she dated one guy the whole time I knew her, and that was back in high school, and for a very short period of time. She’s kind of, I don’t know, even, maybe? She’s had a plumb line kind of life; she set a course and followed it. She might not have always known what she wanted, but she has always known what she didn’t want. As soon as she met Chris, she was hooked. He was everything to her, and she will never waiver from him.”
“And you to me?”
“Seriously?”
He shrugged, looking a bit like a little boy, unsure of her answer.
“You’re an idiot,” she retorted. “And I love you more than life. Come here.” She led him to one of the overstuffed chairs by the wall and pushed him down, settling herself on his lap. “You’re the only man, and I do mean only man, I have ever loved. I admit I have always been a terrible flirt, as has Mark, but I’ve done my best not to do that here. Mostly because it would hurt you, and partly because I’d probably get stoned in the town square.”
Clayton patted her bottom. “Stoned might be a bit dramatic, but stocks wouldn’t be entirely off-limits.”
She smiled. “When Mark arrived, I guess I just had a brief moment of normalcy. My old life came rushing back for a second or two. Sometimes I miss home, Clay. I miss my gadgets and television, and dancing with next-to-no clothes on... walking in public in something other than thirty-five pounds of fabric, even. I know that, ultimately, I do have the choice to go back, but the thought of being without you devastates me far more than missing the future. I can live without modern conveniences, but I could never live without you.” She slipped her hand inside his jacket and vest and stroked his chest. “And I’d like to not have to give up my friendship with Mark. I will if you really want me to, but it would be like asking me never to speak to Jamie again.”
“I’m not asking you to give him up, sweet, or to stop speaking to him. I’d just like him to not be so familiar with you, and perhaps for you not to be alone with him. And if you ever dance with him without my permission, or outside of my presence, I will kill him.”
She tapped his face with her hand. “Well, I can’t dance with him the way I’m used to right now, anyway. Same rules as sex.”
“Are you saying dancing with him is like sex?” he ground out.
“No,” she sighed. “It’s just that it’s about as physically demanding. At least it is with you.”
His face relaxed a bit. “I hate this, Emma.”
“What?”
“That you have something you love and I can’t share it with you.”
“But you can. You’ve just gotta stop turning beet red every time I show you a move.”
He closed his eyes. “The thought of you doing anything like what you’ve shown me, in public, sends me over the edge. It’s obscene.”
“It is not. It’s just something you’re not used to. And I don’t do it in public anymore. You won’t allow it.” She scrambled from his lap. “And for your information, I don’t appreciate you calling my art obscene.”
“That’s not quite what I meant.” Clayton stood and reached out to her, but she avoided him. “Emma.”
She tried to blink back tears of frustration. “Sometimes, Clayton, you can be a total ass.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. That came out wrong. I don’t think your dancing is obscene.” He grasped her arm and pulled her against his chest. “I suppose I’m just concerned if any other man were to see you dance, they’d have the same reaction as I do.”
“Which is?”
“The sudden need to take you to bed.”
“Clayton,” she whispered, and laid her cheek against his chest.
“I love you, Emma. Sometimes I love you so much, I think my heart will leap out of my chest. The thought of losing you is enough to make me insane, and when I saw you with Mark, I realized I’m lacking somewhat.”
“What?” she gasped, looking up at him. “How are you lacking?”
“I want to be your FBB—”
“BFF,” she corrected with a giggle.
“Right.” He stroked her cheek. “He has a part of you that I don’t.”
“No he doesn’t.”
“He does, sweet. He has your past, and an ease with you I envy.”
She gripped the lapels of his jacket. “What do you mean by, ‘ease’? Don’t you feel comfortable with me?”
“No, it’s not that. How do I explain it?”
“Just spit it out, babe, we’ll sort it out.”
“Sometimes the desire to lock you away somewhere you’ll always be safe is overwhelming.” He dropped his forehead to hers. “I worry I’ll fail to make you happy and you’ll disappear, never to be seen in this time again.”
“You do?”
“All the time.”
“Oh, Clayton. I didn’t know that.” She looped her arms around his neck and kissed him. “I love you. I just had your baby, for Pete’s sake. I’m not going anywhere. Especially considering I want more of them. And only with you.”
He grinned. “How long until we can try to make another one?”
“About three weeks, and believe me, I’m jonesing for it.”
“Jonesing?”
“Aching, pining, ripping my nails out in frustration.”
“That sounds quite severe.” He kissed her, sliding his hand up to the base of her neck.
She shivered and deepened the kiss, allowing him to take it to a level that was probably a little too dangerous. Breaking the kiss, she groaned and buried her face in his chest. “I don’t know if I can take much more of this. Three weeks seems like an eternity.”
“I agree.” He lifted her chin. “We should probably head back downstairs, sweet. I’d imagine everyone’s already here.”
She nodded, but kissed him one more time. “What’s the verdict on the Mark situation?”
“In an effort not to be a ‘total ass,’ I will do my best to control my jealousy when it comes to Mr. Battaglia.”
“Thank you.” She smiled. “And I will try to be less familiar with him.”
He smiled. “But please don’t lie to me the way Hannah did to Chris yesterday.”
“What do you mean? No one lied, Clay.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Lies by omission are still lies, sweetheart, which you seem to forget on occasion.”
“What? I didn’t lie.”
“Only because you can’t dance right now,” he pointed out. “If you’d been cleared for excessive physical activity, you would have done exactly what Hannah and Rayne did.”
“Well, I’m pretty sure Rayne told Sam exactly what she was doing. She usually does,” she grumbled. “Does Chris know? Is Hannah in trouble?”
Clayton shrugged. “What’s between them is their business, but yes, he knows.”
“Crap.”
He squeezed her hand. “I have no issue with the two of you dancing in the Fords’ ballroom without the prying eyes of the staff and any other men, but I will never sanction you dancing in your style with Mark. Hear me on that.”
“I hear you. It sucks and I don’t like it, but I hear you.”
“Thank you.” He gave her another quick kiss. “Now, let’s go downstairs and join our family. I’m looking forward to beating Jamie at poker again.”
Emma giggled. “Oh, you won’t, baby. That’s how he sucks you in. It’s a bait and switch. He lets you win a few times and then takes you for all you’re worth.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
With the Mark issue somewhat resolved, Emma led Clayton back downstairs with a lighter heart.
* * *
At the Maddens’, Hannah’s emotions and mind were in turmoil. She and Christopher had been fighting for more than an hour, and there didn’t seem to be any relief on the horizon. They were late to dinner, and the sound of Penny’s screams managed to fray Hannah’s nerves even more.
“I’ll get her,” Christopher grumbled.
“No. I’ll get her. She probably needs to be fed, anyway.”
“I wish you’d let me hire a wet nurse.”
“Why? So the woman can be a constant reminder of what an absolute failure I am as a mother?”
He dragged his hands down his face. “Hannah.”
“You know what, Chris? Go ahead. Hire one. Then you can hire someone else to be your wife as well. I’m sure there’s someone out there far better suited than me. Some sweet, mousey chick, who’ll stay fully clothed at all times, and toe your bloody line.”
“Damn it, Hannah,” he bellowed. “I’m sick of this!”
“Well so am I, mate. I think you just proved my point.” She left the room with a satisfying slam of the door and headed to Penny’s room.
She lifted her daughter from her bassinet and sat down to feed her. Hannah was beyond tired and the fight with Christopher just made her feel worse. She was sad. All the time it seemed. She tried to think positively, but she just couldn’t seem to rally. Yesterday’s workout with Mark was the first time she’d felt normal since giving birth, and that only lasted a matter of a few hours, since Christopher had discovered her activity. Now she was being subjected to a lecture on the inappropriateness of modern dance.
Penny whimpered and Hannah focused back on her daughter. “Come on, poppet. I need you to eat, love. Mummy needs a break.”
Penny tried again and then let out a blood-curdling scream that broke Hannah. She burst into tears and sobbed as she settled Penny back in her bed. Now they were both inconsolable.
Without warning, Hannah was lifted into the strong arms of her husband and swept from the room. She was vaguely aware Penny was no longer screaming as Christopher carried her back to their bedroom and sat down in the chair next to the window, keeping her firmly in his lap.
“I need to feed her,” Hannah sobbed.
“No. You need to rest.”
“I can’t rest. My baby’s hungry.”
“Victoria has made Penny a bottle with the food Mark gave you. She will be well fed. You, on the other hand, are going back to bed.”
“I am the worst mum in the world. I told you I would be.” She sniffed, trying to catch her breath. “I can’t even feed my child. I can’t do anything right.”
“Shhh,” he whispered as he rubbed her back. “You’re the best mother I know, sweetheart. You’re just exhausted.”
“We’re supposed to be at Sophie’s house. That’s why we came. She wants to spend time with me.”
“You are going back to bed. Sophie will understand,” Christopher said as he rubbed her neck.
“I’m letting everyone down.” Even through the tears, she couldn’t stop a yawn. “I always let everyone down.”
“Shhh,” Christopher crooned as he slid his hands down her back, unbuttoning her gown as he went.
“And Emma. I’ve lost Emma now.”
“Why have you lost Emma, sweetheart?”
“Because Mark’s back! He was first and now he’s here and I’ll be forgotten.”
“You won’t be forgotten, sweetheart. I promise.” Keeping an arm around her waist, he stood and settled her on her feet. He peeled her out of her dress and unlaced her corset. Turning her to face him, he unhooked her, letting it fall to the ground, and lifted her onto the bed.
Hannah could barely keep her eyes open as he removed her stockings and garters and pulled the combs from her hair.
“I don’t have time to go back to bed, Knight.” She yawned again, broken by a hiccup, her crying subsiding.
“Yes you do, sweetheart.” He pulled the covers back on the bed and held them while she reluctantly slid between the sheets.
“I’m sorry I’m useless,” she said, and the sobbing started again.
“You are not useless.” Christopher stroked her hair. “You’re just tired. I want you to sleep and don’t worry about anything. We’ll hash it all out when you awake.”
“Please don’t leave me.”
He kissed her temple and then her cheek. “I couldn’t, beautiful girl. I love you.”
“But I’m a shrew.”
“You’re not a shrew,” he assured her. “Go to sleep.”