Lane
Heading to Pittsburgh turned into a major cluster fuck. Instead of renting a car, I had Jake pick me up at the airport. Good thing he was driving when he dropped the bad news; otherwise, I would have strangled him.
“We’re not meeting with the smoothie company until Monday,” he said offhandedly. “That’s the best they could do.”
“Fuck,” I roared before slamming my hand into the dashboard. My carefully constructed facade was beginning to crack, little fissures slowly making their way into my polished finish.
I’d finally heard back from Bess and made a plan. She’d texted that she would “love” to see me, and I figured I’d be able to head up Friday night or Saturday morning at the very latest before going home first thing Monday morning.
“I have a life, Jake,” I said after composing myself.
“I know. I did the best I could, but we could have fun over the weekend. Hang out?”
“No thanks, I don’t do pity invites. Besides, I’m going to see someone up in the country, and now I’ll have to come back here on Sunday night so we can hit that hellhole known as Youngstown on Monday.”
“Oh, who?”
“You don’t know her.”
He glanced over at me, finally taking the hint. “Well, at least we could chill tonight.”
“Sure,” I said through clenched teeth. The only thing worse than my brother sleeping with five women at the same time was Jake sleeping with no one.
We ended up in a dark sports bar with TVs everywhere and Iron City on tap. It was a shithole, but a good one. Seated in a booth in the back, we ordered a plate of wings, and I pulled out my phone. After e-mailing my assistant—again—instructing her on my latest change of plans, I texted Bess.
ME: I’m here. Back in the USA. Just got to Pittsburgh and turns out I’m free all day tomorrow. What’s your work schedule?
My beer arrived as my phone dinged.
BESS: I’m off tomorrow and Saturday. I have to work on Sunday, though.
ME: OK. Can I come out in the morning?
BESS: Sure. About what time? I’ve been going to a morning meeting.
ME: Let’s say 10?
BESS: Great. I’ll text you my address for your GPS. I’ll give you the main road. It works better when you put that in.
ME: See you then.
I might have seemed calm in my texts, but I was anything but relaxed. I was especially unnerved now that I needed to extend my trip at least until Tuesday, delaying my time to get in and out of Youngstown.
That place was my worst nightmare.
Downshifting my rental Jeep into third, I slowed my speed on the curvy road leading to Bess’s place despite wanting to floor it. I’d been up half the night. My old nightmares had returned, and after tossing and turning for hours, I finally called a cab at the crack of dawn to take me to rent a car.
I left without saying good-bye to Jake, but I did grab some of his casual clothes. He could at least let me have those after all I’d done for him over the years, and was about to do next week.
The farther I drove from him and what Monday would bring, the calmer I felt. But every time I thought about the weekend coming to an end and what lay ahead, I started to panic again. It was a vicious cycle of up-down-up-down throughout the whole ninety-minute drive to rural Pennsylvania.
Fields rolled out for miles from the road. Cows grazed in the grass and horses roamed, making me feel small in my pursuits. I was a man pursuing a woman. The wrong woman for me, for so many reasons. Yet I couldn’t stop myself.
Her long silence following my initial text showed me she felt the same hesitation, but when she used the word “loved” in reference to seeing me, there wasn’t much that could stop me.
Finally I made it to the address on the main road, where Bess instructed I should make the first left immediately beyond it. As I turned onto her small road, a winding country path lined with trees, her small house came into view. Tucked back against the woods, small branches framing it, the house beckoned with its gray wraparound porch.
I parked the Jeep behind another small SUV, which I assumed belonged to Bess, and bolted to the stairs. The door flung open and a huge dog came running out, barking, tail wagging, tongue hanging out.
“Hey,” Bess said from the doorway.
“Hey. Some guard dog you have here,” I replied, unable to move because her dog was jumping at my feet, panting and begging for my attention.
“Brooks Bailey, leave it!” she shouted, and he didn’t hesitate. The dog turned away and bounded down the hill, heeding everything Bess said like every other hot-blooded male.
Alone now, we met halfway on the steps to her porch. She blinked and said, “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“Me either.” I pulled her in for a hug and an inhale. She still smelled familiar, but instead of salty ocean air cloaking her this time, it was pine and evergreen.
She pulled back and said, “Welcome to spring in a place that has four seasons. Enjoy the damp and muddy conditions we have to face before we get glorious sunshine.”
I didn’t have a chance to answer because Brooks was back on the porch, now circling both of us with a ball in his mouth.
“Should I throw it?” I asked.
“Only if you plan to spend the rest of your weekend doing that,” Bess said with a laugh. “Come on in.”
We headed through the door into a combined sitting area and kitchen. Loyal and lucky to belong to the brown-haired beauty, Brooks followed right behind Bess, never leaving her side now that I was in their domain. The crackle of the fireplace and the smell of something baking greeted us as we walked inside.
“So, this is my place. Not quite as big as yours and no swimming pool, but we do have zucchini bread baked with chocolate chips.”
“It smells amazing,” I said with an appreciative sniff.
Bess walked toward the oven and waved her hand around while saying, “Make yourself at home.”
I couldn’t move. My feet were like two boulders in the ground when she grabbed oven mitts and bent over to take the bread out. Her ass was just as perfect as a few years ago when I first saw her in the downward dog position. I was transported to that day, and a tidal wave of guilt flooded my stomach at what I was doing.
Lying or deceiving or whatever this was, it was wrong. It had become an evil pattern, one that dug its claws deep within me, and I couldn’t wrestle my way out. Instead, I kept pushing forward, trudging through life with guilt’s stranglehold in place over my heart.
As the bread cooled on the counter, Bess made her way over to me. Studying my expression, she said, “You okay?”
“Absolutely. I just didn’t sleep well last night.” I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer.
“Oh,” she said into my chest.
I kissed the top of her head and wanted so much more.
She looked up at me, her eyes uncertain. “I was gonna suggest a little hike, but if you just want to chill, that’s cool.”
Placing my index finger under her chin, I tilted her face up toward mine, then I bent and placed my mouth over hers. There was no way to describe what I did next other than I devoured her lips and tongue. I couldn’t bring myself to stop.
Finally, I broke away and said, “A hike sounds perfect.”