Wolf Connor was absolutely a lot of things, and many of them were really, really bad… but a liar wasn’t one of those things. He also wasn’t subtle or careful with language. If anyone was going to tell Zoe how it was and how badly she’d messed up, Wolf was the man for the job.
Zoe had just finished telling him everything about her and Scars – from that first unplanned and mind-blowing night in the bar back room, to the kitchen confrontation over pizza, to both flirtations/fights in the tattoo parlor, to the desk fingering, to Scars’ astounding patience finally hitting its limit the night before – and she was now sitting fidgeting on nhis bed as Wolf stared at her in amazement as he packed.
“For God’s sake,” she blurted out at last. “Say something!”
“Still decidin’ what to say, Zee.” He shook his head, zipped shut his duffel bag for his trip. “I mean, of course I knew that you two were foolin’ around. Lots of us knew, and we’ve been layin’ bets when you two would just come out and own up to it. Mostly you, really, because it was obvious that Scars was head-over-heels.”
She sputtered, and he raised his voice a bit.
“But I am a bit surprised how far it’s all gone and how many times you’ve been at each other’s throats sayin’ stupid things that are just wastin’ time. And I didn’t know when it all started, so that bar back room story is a bit of a shock.” He grinned. “Gotta admit, I warned the boys away from you when you first got to Denver, but when you took up with Scars, I was fuckin’ thrilled. He’s one of the good ones. One of the best. Me and the guys really think that you gotta stop messin’ him around.”
“Uh, hold up. You – you knew that me and Scars were… you knew what we were doing?”
He rolled those hard gray eyes. “Jesus Christ, Zee. You think I’m an idiot?”
“So why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why didn’t you?” he rejoined, throwing the duffel next to the bedroom door.
“Because… well. Because it was just – just sex.”
“Bullshit.” He sat down next to her on his bed, stretched his long legs in front of him, drank some coffee. “Such total damn bullshit. If this is how you tell Scars that he doesn’t mean much to you beyond his cock, I can see why he doesn’t believe you. You’re a terrible liar, Zee. Always have been. And you must be especially fuckin’ bad at it naked after cummin’ for the guy multiple times.”
“Wolf,” she said, automatically blushing bright-red. “It really is just sex. Was.”
“You don’t do that.”
“I don’t do what?”
“Just sex. You ain’t built that way, baby girl.”
“Well – that’s normally true.”
“And Scars doesn’t do just sex.”
“Sure, he does. He did.”
“Nope. He doesn’t and he didn’t. He told you that he doesn’t and he didn’t.”
“You believe him?”
“Yep. I do. I’ve known you for twenty-two years, since I was thirteen, and I’ve known Scars for almost fifteen years, since I patched in at twenty-one. He’s my VP and my brother, you’re my sister and the only woman that I’ve ever really loved, Zee. I know you both, know you like I know myself… and I know that you guys ain’t like me, and you don’t do casual sex. Not with anyone, and most especially not together.”
She sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, OK… I mean, shit. You’re right, Wolf.”
“Now we’re gettin’ somewhere at long last. So, this is how I think of this goddamn mess that you’ve created: seein’ as you don’t do just fucks, and Scars doesn’t do just fucks, but you two are fuckin’, I’d say that you’re doin’ more than just fuckin’. Don’t you think?”
Zoe paused, trying to figure out just what the hell Wolf had just said.
“So… you’re saying that…” Her voice trailed off. “Sorry. What are you saying?”
“I’m sayin’, baby girl, that the very fact that you two keep havin’ sex when you don’t do casual tells me that you’re important to each other. You obviously can’t stay away from each other, no matter how hard you try. You both got a lot of history that you’re workin’ against, and it’s the kind of history that keeps people from really trustin’ and connectin’. It’s hurt history, and you both keep lookin’ past it for each other. That has to mean somethin’, don’t you think?”
“What’s Scars’ history?” she asked, suddenly burning with curiosity. “You mean all his club crimes and womanizing?”
“Christ, Zee,” Wolf snapped. “I just finished tellin’ you: the man ain’t a womanizer.”
She put up her hands in a gesture of surrender. “OK, OK, sorry. Habit when it comes to you MC boys, I just assume you’re all bed-jumping.”
Wolf glowered. “Not everyone, Zee, and definitely not Scars. You’d be surprised how many of the boys ain’t man-whores, no matter how you think they look. But that ain’t the point here – the point is that Scars was hurt bad as a teenager, and he suffered a huge loss. Ever since then, his life has been about findin’ and protectin’ family. Has he done some illegal and sketchy shit for the club? Yeah. So have I. So has everyone. And if you can still trust me and love me, knowin’ that I ain’t always been a good man, what’s stoppin’ you from doin’ that for Scars? He’s been through enough hell to last two lifetimes, and he’s come out the other side of all a stand-up guy. Believe me.”
“You’re talking about the car accident?” she asked quietly. “When he was nineteen? The one that scarred him for life?”
“Yeah. The one that killed his parents.”
“What?” She stared at Wolf in horror. “He didn’t tell me that part!”
“No?”
“No.”
“OK, well…” Wolf set down his coffee cup, looked at Zoe hard, like he was trying to see her insides. “Scars was at college in Texas on a full-ride football scholarship. He was home for Christmas, and his parents and younger brother Sam had come to pick him up from the airport. Bad weather, the car spun out, hit black ice, I think. They went right off a mountain edge, flipped over in the ravine below.”
“Oh, my God.”
“Sam was only twelve years old then, and Scars was in the back seat with him. Got them both out of their seatbelts, carried Sam clear and to safety. Then he went back for his Mom and Dad, who were both unconscious. By then, the car was on fire.”
“He – Scars went back into a burning car to save them?”
“You really don’t know who he is, do you?” Wolf rasped. “You don’t have the first fuckin’ clue what he’s made of.”
Chastised, ashamed, Zoe was silent.
“Anyway. Yeah, he went back to get his parents out, but he couldn’t get the seatbelts loose. He was burnin’ up, Zee, and he still wouldn’t leave the car. The man was nineteen years old then, and had caught fire, and he had to be dragged kickin’ and screamin’ out of the damn car by other drivers. Took five full-grown adult men to get Scars out and away. They’d just gotten him clear when the car exploded.”
“Jesus.”
“He quit college and took care of Sam the only way that he saw how: he started workin’ with The Road Devils. Good money, so Scars gave Sam everythin’ he needed. As Sam got older, Scars started to get deeper into the club, and by the time Sam decided that he wanted to go to med school, Scars had secured Jensen as the MC’s main partner. Scars knew what kind of deal with the devil he was makin’, but all he saw was steady income for the club – and for him and his brother.”
“Oh,” Zoe said, starting to see. “Oh.”
“Scars spent almost nothin’ on himself for almost ten years… everythin’ that he made went to pay for his little brother becomin’ a doctor. Scars paid the tuition, got Sam a great apartment, paid all his bills, did all his grocery shoppin’. He sacrificed everythin’ that he’s ever wanted for himself for Sam, and in all the years that I’ve known him, not once has he said one fuckin’ word of regret about any of that. That’s who Scars Innis is, Zoe. That’s the man you keep accusin’ of bein’ a liar and untrustworthy and selfish.”
“Oh,” she said in a tiny voice. “Oh, shit.”
“Yep. You’ve had the man wrong from the word go, baby girl.”
“Christ on a cracker.” She ran her hands through her hair. “How the hell was I supposed to know any of this?”
“You ask him?” Wolf suggested. “Like, with words, and conversation, and shit like that?”
“Shut up, Connor,” she huffed. “Like I’ll take any advice about talking to the person I’m sleeping with from you. You don’t even know the names of half the women you get into bed with.”
“Hey,” he snapped. “Watch the smart mouth, Zee. What I do ain’t your concern, and what you and Scars have got goin’ on ain’t anything like what I do, anyway. You can lie to yourself all you want, but he meant somethin’ to you from the first time you two met.”
“Oh, really?” she said, stung and confused by all her conflicting emotions at what Wolf had shown her about Scars. “And just how do you know that?”
Wolf flashed her that dangerous, predatory smile that had given him his name. “Because if he didn’t? You’d never have gone into that back room with him in the first place. Not after what happened the last time you did that with a man.”
She sucked in air, all snark and sass forgotten now. “Wolf –”
“Nuh-uh. You know I’m right. After what happened to you, the fact that you went on back there with him anyway, the very first night you laid eyes on the man?” Wolf shook his dark head. “That means that you liked and trusted him right from the beginnin’, baby girl. On some level, you knew you were safe with him, and you sure as hell knew that he was a good guy. He is a good guy, and you just can’t admit it to yourself.”
“I – I –”
“What I can’t figure out is why,” he said. “Why can’t you just let Scars be nice to you? Take care of you? Be good to Keira?”
She crossed her arms, and he recognized this as her go-to defensive posture. He gentled now, seeing no real need to beat her over the head with the point anymore; he was pretty damn sure that Zoe got the point. Now it was all about getting her to admit it, mostly to herself.
“Zoe. C’mon. Talk to me, OK? I know and love you, and I may not shout about it, but I know and love Scars. I trust him with my fuckin’ life, and I trust him with yours and Keira’s, too. Why can’t you just give the man a chance?”
She bit her lip, still thinking about that night that had taken Scars’ and Sam’s parents so horribly. God, his parents had literally blown up, right in front of those poor, horrified kids. What in actual hell did that do to a person?
Well, in Sam’s case, it had propelled him towards caring for others, fighting to save others, sending people home from tragedy when his own parents hadn’t. And Scars? It had made him fiercely protective, focused, driven to succeed. He’d done everything that he’d done for financial security, for acceptance, for a place in a family after losing most of his.
And she’d judged him from the beginning, just because of his cut. She’d presumed to know him, just because of that damn MC label attached to him, and her own prejudices about that label. She’d belittled and berated him, just because he had dared to offer her something real and honest and true. He’d offered her who he was, and she’d treated that astonishing gift cheap.
And now she’d lost him. She’d lost a good man. The best man. The only man for her.
One last chance, that’s all I ask. One last chance, God, and I swear, I won’t screw it up this time.
“Ahhhh, baby girl,” Wolf said gently, knowing what she was thinking. “Go talk to him. Tell him that I’ve left for Colorado Springs without him. He can pay his respects to our ex-President’s widow later this week.”
“Is that where you guys are going today?” she faltered. “To – visit a widow?”
“Yeah. We need to go every year on the anniversary of Wheels Jordan’s death. He was a bastard and a prick, but protocol is protocol, baby girl. I’ll be gone overnight, back tomorrow, and so you go and talk to Scars now. Before he heads over to the club to meet me.”
“Do you think – you think he’ll listen to me?”
“Yes,” Wolf said simply. “He will.”
“Why would he?” she asked, the desperation clear in her voice. “After everything I’ve said and done?”
“Because,” Wolf said. “That’s who Scars Innis is, in his heart. That’s exactly who he is. Don’t you know that yet, Zoe?”
And suddenly Zoe realized – fully and for the first time and in this moment – that she did know it.