Working these streets was not for the weak.
Not for cops or criminals.
Nor was it easy on the people who loved us.
My wife, she stayed strong for me. Always so fucking strong.
I know she worried, and not just because she spent nights waiting up for me.
There were those times I caught it when her tough-girl guard slip.
Which was why I couldn’t put her through this.
This was my battle.
After taking a life, seeing a counselor was mandatory.
My wife, she was life. And I wasn’t ready for her to know the dark side of mine.
Adjusting my hat, I strode up the steps of my therapist’s office to find my wife standing there holding a cup of coffee and open arms. “I came to walk you in and wait for you,” she said softly, as for me, I was undone. Because my wife knew, she always did. Even when I hadn’t voiced it.
“You didn’t have to,” I whispered.
“But I wanted to. I’m a cop’s wife, Eddie.”
“But—”
“I’m your wife. I just wanted you to know that I’m here.”
“How did you find out?”
“I do the laundry,” she said with a smile. “I saw the appointment card.”
“I should have told you,” I confessed shamefully.
“Yes,” she said gently. “You should have, but I know you, Eddie. When you were ready you would have. Until you are, there’s someone inside who can offer you the help I can’t.”
And that day went a little easier because of my wife.
With my shift nearly over, I drove the city streets wondering where she was, and what she was doing.
The wonder was driving me crazy because she wasn’t at home yet. I know because I drove by, twice. And yes, her block was crime-free thanks to the amount of time I spent patrolling it.
Still, I knew her routine.
You didn’t spend ten years with someone and not figure out what makes them tick. Or where they went when they were feeling lost. Very much how I was feeling right now.
It was Monday night football, the Lions were away, which meant Pharis was likely watching the next game at her spot after she finished her podcast at the stadium. And with renewed vigor, I turned around and headed toward McShane’s.
Out of all the bars in the city, McShane’s was by far her favorite.
The regulars loved her, loved everything about her, and were protective of her.
It was her safe haven with fucking tasty French onion soup.
It was also a sports bar through and through. Pharis was always in her element there.
Arguing calls, defending players and coaches. Yelling her pretty head off.
Schooling the locals on the intricacies and politics of the game she loved so much.
Pharis didn’t just know football, she could play, too.
Up until I turned her world upside down, she played on a co-ed flag football team and kicked serious ass.
Cheering for her had been my sport.
Until I stopped coming.
At the thought of seeing her my heart started racing.
Then again, I felt this way any time she was close.
And it’s been too long since anything excited me.
Walking inside, I spied Pharis on her usual stool at the far end of the bar.
With a beer in one hand, she was laughing and leaning into the man next to her.
Stepping closer I see...
The motherfucker is touching her back. No, literally. His hand was on her back.
When a few of the regulars spotted me, I received a nod, an eye roll, and even a middle finger.
Because not too long ago I’d have been on the stool next to hers with one hand around her waist and the other holding my own beer. When Pharis and I were together, we had been affectionate.
So seeing her smile with a man that wasn’t me? Let’s just say, fuck no.
If I could piss on her to mark my territory, I would.
But that would be pushing it, cop or not.
Coming up behind her, I clear my throat. When she glances over her shoulder at me, I almost retreated. No, I didn’t belong here. No, this wouldn’t end well. No, I did not care.
I came here for her and wasn’t leaving without her.
“We need to talk,” I said reasonably.
“Game’s on,” she countered, turning away to ignore me.
“Just need a few minutes of your time, Pharis.”
“Go through the attorney, Eddie.”
“Trying to be civil here,” I said low. “But I don’t mind making a scene either.”
Eyeing me, the prick next to her asked, “You know this cop?”
“Used to be married to him,” she shrugged carelessly.
“But you ain’t no more?”
“Last time I checked, that’s what divorce means.”
Facing me, he bravely said, “You’re interrupting us. Fuck off.”
Before I could speak, she placed her hand on his goddamn arm and said, “Challenging him won’t bode well for you so I suggest you don’t.”
See? She gets me.
“Last time I’m asking,” I informed her. “If I have to do it again, we’ll be having this discussion while you’re cuffed.”
Whirling around with fire in her eyes, she warned, “You fucking wouldn’t.”
“I fucking would,” I shot back.
Sliding from her stool, she got in my space, took one finger to poke me in the chest with.
“I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you, but you aren’t doing this here.”
“I agree,” I grinned shamelessly. “Let’s step outside and do it there, like a couple.”
“You’re insane,” she growled, pushing me hard enough I had to brace.
“Listen man,” the asshole added. “She ain’t into you. Can you fucking go so we can watch this game?”
“Ever seen a woman arrested for assault?” I asked him evenly.
“Can’t say that I have, no.”
“Then it’s your lucky day.”
Right there, for all to see and hear, Pharis lunged for me while growling, “You fucking fucktrumpet!”
And when I arrested my ex-wife, I did so smiling.