Chapter 15
This time, when Evander opened his eyes, he was able to keep them open. He looked around the room, familiar, though not the one he and Alyx used to share. He was home. He hadn't dreamed it.
At the end of his bed, Eamon, Lissandra, and Alyx were gathered, quietly talking about something Evander couldn't quite make out.
He watched them for awhile, drinking in the sight of his old friends and his husband. He knew just then that come what may, he would never get tired of seeing them. Eamon looked tired, but he was healthy and whole and nodding at what Lissandra was saying. The Princess looked beautiful, as always, but the concern on her face was obvious. Whatever information she was relaying to them, was important.
Alyx was more than Evander could possibly dream of. All the times he thought Alyx was with him in that cell was a pale shadow to who he actually was. His crown sat on his head easily, like he had finally grown used to wearing it. His hair was mussed, as always, and there was stubble on his chin that was new. Alyx almost always took the time to shave in the mornings before they went down to the great hall. Evander imagined the habit fell off since his return.
He adored the silver he spotted in the stubble there.
"Good morning," Evander said and winced at his own voice. It was cracked and rough and sounded painful to his own ears.
All three jumped as though a dragon entered the room and turned towards him.
Lissandra and Alyx were the first by his side, and strangely, Eamon left just as quickly.
"Water?" Lissandra asked and Alyx helped him to gently sit up.
Evander nodded. He was so thirsty he didn't know how to explain it. She helped him to drink as he leaned back into Alyx.
"Slowly," she warned.
He did as she instructed and when he was satisfied, he pulled back. "You sound like Paige."
Lissandra shook her head. "That girl..." she muttered and though there was fondness there, there was also a hint of worry.
"Is there something wrong?" Evander asked and reached for Alyx's hand. He needed something to steady him, to ground him to where he was.
"No, there's nothing wrong. She is recovering, slowly, sleeping most of the day and night away, and speaks of a man who saved her twice in the forest. Though, oddly enough, no one recalls meeting him," Lissandra said.
"I remember..." Evander started and furrowed his brow. "There was a man. He was as big as Eamon. He helped put me on the back of Eros once, but I cannot recall anything else about him."
"No matter," Alyx said. "We can find the mystery hero another time."
The door opened and Evander looked over to see his brothers and sister standing there, Cade helping Gia with an arm around her waist. She looked lost, fragile, and so much smaller than Evander recalled.
"Mother," Evander whispered.
Gia put a trembling hand to her mouth and Cade slowly helped her to the bed. She sat close by Evander's legs and studied him, stroked the lines of his face, and whispered, "I had faith you would return to us."
She gently pressed a kiss to his forehead, one of the few uninjured parts of him, and then laughed at him. "You are a sight, Evander De Loughrey."
"I dreamed about you. While I was there, I dreamed that you sat with me. All of you, but you took turns," Evander said. He tightened his grip on Alyx's hand. "I was going mad but I would think of you, of all of you and I felt like the ground returned to me and that one day, in this life or the next, I would see you all again."
"Well, I'm glad that it was not another one," Auelina said and made her way around Lissandra who stepped back to allow her more room. Lissandra helped Gia up and guided her back closer to the end of the bed.
Evander's eyes widened when he saw Auelina. She was due any day now and felt the weight of it on her body. "Look at you."
"Believe me, brother, everyone does. And they comment on the size and shape of me constantly," Auelina said.
"Tell Aldous to kill them," Evander said diplomatically.
"Avelina made the offer first," Auelina said.
"Even better. She will make it bloody."
Auelina half laughed and half sobbed and Evander brought her hand to his cheek and kissed her open palm. "I am glad to see you well, sister."
Auelina had no words and lightly kissed his temple before using Eamon to leverage herself up and off the bed. Eamon did not shift under her weight, but helped her to remain steady on her feet.
Cade was next and he shuffled up to the bed, like a boy ready to receive his punishment.
Evander extended one hand to his brother's forearm and tugged him forward until Cade had no choice but to climb up on the bed. "What is it?" Evander asked in a low voice, like he used to when Cade was small and was forced to confess to stealing dessert from the kitchens. Those memories hit Cade particularly hard. He had almost no memory of the king before Evander, the one that was his father, the one that terrorized them all.
Evander was the one to raise him from a baby to manhood, the one he looked up to, the one he wanted to emulate more than anyone in his life. The one that he felt was his duty to rescue and the one, in the end, that he failed.
Cade's breath hitched in his chest and his vision blurred. "I looked for you," he whispered. "I tried so hard to find you."
Evander gripped Cade's hand as hard as he could.
"I wanted to find you and I couldn't. Every single time we thought we had something, I would go look for you. I wanted- I needed to find you-" Cade whispered.
Evander let go of Cade's hand and reached for the back of his neck. He pulled him close and let Cade lean into his chest, though it ached with the bruises that were there. "I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry you couldn't find me. I won't let it happen again."
"You can't know that," Cade replied and fury shook his voice.
"No, but I will do my best to keep my promise. I'm sorry I scared you, Cade."
"Don't apologize-"
"I am. I am so sorry I scared you. But I'm back. I'm here. And nothing will take me from all of you again."
Cade nodded and clung to Evander another second before moving away.
Gael was last and he stood there, staring at Evander.
Evander offered him a half-hearted smile. "I am glad to see you didn't let it burn down."
"I would have. If it meant you home safely, I would have," Gael said and his hands trembled as he approached the bed. This was not the Evander he remembered. This was a man that knew too much of something he wasn't ready to share yet.
"I'm glad it didn't come to that," Evander said.
“I’m glad that you are home. I am tired of taking care of everything for you,” Gael said shakily.
“I’m glad I am back. I was worried that you would ruin the country for all of us.”
Their tones were teasing but Alyx could see the fine tremors that were overtaking Gael and caught Eamon’s eye. Eamon shifted closer to Gael, probably the only one who could bear the weight of Gael if he did collapse.
“Alyx did it. He held it together when I couldn’t. He did everything that I was supposed to and-” Gael did almost collapse then but Eamon caught him and helped him over to the bed. Then Gael was babbling about all the things that happened and Auelina made a move to stop him, but Alyx waved her off. Gael needed this, needed to let out all the things and even if it didn’t make sense right now, it would, eventually.
By the end, Evander wrapped Gael up in a hug and Alyx could see that it hurt him, but he rocked his little brother for a moment. Gael was much larger than Evander, by several inches at least, but Alyx was able to glimpse the small children they were, pitted against a violent father and a world they had yet to understand.
When Gael pulled back, Evander pressed a kiss to his brother’s forehead. “You need not worry anymore. I will fix it. I will not leave you. Whatever precaution I must take to make you and everyone else sleep better, I will do it.”
Gael would not meet Evander’s eyes but his question was clear to the whole room. “Will he return?”
“Yes.”
Alyx closed his eyes. He did not know how much more he could take. He did not understand how much further he could be pushed before he snapped and took them all down with him.
He just got Evander back and yet still, the threat was at their door. It never went away. It just went on and on.
“But we have time. The way that the others laid waste to his lands, I believe that it will take time for them to rebuild and figure out what they have left. I wish to know what they did to the place I was held and from there, we can plan,” Evander said.
“If we have time, then you must rest,” Lissandra said softly.
Evander looked like that was the last thing in the world he wanted but he nodded anyway.
“Your men are at the door with a pair of mine. I will leave instructions that you are not to be disturbed until you call on us,” Eamon said and helped Gael up with a grunt.
“I appreciate all that you have done for us, more than I have words to describe,” Evander said.
“You would have done the same,” Eamon said.
Then Lissandra was pushing the others out of the room, leaving only Alyx alone with Evander.
“What can I get you?” Alyx asked.
“Will you stay with me?” Evander asked. He had a sudden and unnameable fear of waking up alone.
“The gods themselves could not tear me from your side.”
Alyx helped Evander lay back and then readied himself to sleep next to him, his blades nearby, and as though the thought occurred to him just then, he pulled Evander’s sword from the armoire and leaned it next to the bed.
Evander wanted to cry from the comfort of it.
There was one more drink of water and then Alyx was settling next to him, turned towards him, though they both knew Alyx would not sleep.
“I have something I need to tell you,” Evander said slowly.
“I do not wish for you to cause yourself pain. If it can wait, let it wait,” Alyx warned.
“It cannot. And the pain of it is long since gone. Now I feel like it is only one more bit of information of our enemy that I must share,” Evander said. It was a lie. Even as he prepared to tell Alyx who Thomas really was, what his real name was, he gripped the blanket tight, so tight that his knuckles turned white.
Alyx waited patiently, not willing to rush this last bit of information from Evander, and hoped that it would wait for another day. But if Evander felt that it was important to share now, he would not tell him otherwise.
“When they took me, they had a sword to your neck. I bargained. I said that I would go quietly, willingly, if they would leave you be,” Evander started.
Alyx nodded and felt a wave of guilt crash into him. If he were not such a heavy sleeper, if there was something Evander could have done to wake him-
“Don’t look like that, it was not your doing. Had you woken, we would have both been killed and for nothing. I would do that time all over again if it meant that I still had a life with you,” Evander said.
Alyx nodded but the guilt did not abate.
“I could not tell you where they took me, only that it was north and very cold and far from Lyset. They kept me in a tower and fed me enough to keep me alive, though I’m not sure why.”
“Eamon and Lissandra thought it was to bargain,” Alyx murmured.
“It’s possible. I know that he wanted me dead more than anything and there were times when I wished he would just kill me and he would not. I don’t know if he held me to bargain or for his own pleasure.”
“Did he-” Alyx stopped himself. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to finish that question or if he wanted the answer.
Evander was able to finish it for him. “No, there was nothing like that, much to my surprise,” he said and chuckled.
“I don’t see the humor here,” Alyx said confused.
“It’s actually worse than if he forced himself on me or if he had others do it for him,” Evander said and he was trembling now. He was scared to find out what Alyx would think of him, if he would think less of him because of the man he came from.
“Do not rush what you have to say, Evander. I need you well and if this injures you further-”
“Thomas is my father. King Serlo. He is the one who has been behind this the entire time,” Evander blurted out.
Alyx sat up. He looked down at Evander, then stood. He went to the door, put his hand on it, dropped it and returned to the bed but rounded to Evander’s side. Evander struggled to sit up and Alyx helped him, very gently.
Evander almost hated the gentleness of Alyx’s hands. He wanted Alyx to say something stinging, to snap at him, to laugh at him, but this gentle way he had with Evander grated on him. Evander did not deserve it; it was in his blood to not be deserving of a love like this. He knew it and when he was confronted with his father and all the atrocities he had wrought while Evander helped to run the country, it only made sense that Alyx should leave and take every good thing with him.
When Evander was sitting comfortably and panting a little with the strain of it, Alyx sat down next to his legs and took one of Evander’s hands in his own and kissed his injured fingers.
“I have to admit that I am stunned. The story your mother and you told; how does one survive that?”
Evander relayed the story that Serlo told him. He told him about the fisherman and his daughter, now Serlo’s adopted daughter, Miss Vail. He told him how everything was planned from the beginning and as Serlo watched Evander succeed in running a country better than Serlo ever could, the resentment bled into something darker than rage, darker than hate. He told Alyx of all the things that Serlo did, how he beat him nearly every day, how much rage there was in him, and how he swore that the throne would be his once again.
Alyx listened, without interruption, and when Evander was finally finished, Alyx looked away to the floor beneath his feet.
“What my parents say makes sense now. They said I was a threat to the throne but I didn’t know why Thomas would care so much about the throne being left in your family. If anything, I imagined that you would be a bigger threat than I ever was,” Alyx said.
“And so I was.”
“Does anyone else know?” Alyx asked.
“No. I don’t think Josette would have known him. Alik, maybe his cousin, would have recognized him by sight, but I doubt they would have kept it silent this long.”
Alyx nodded and ran the tips of his fingers across Evander’s knuckles. He was lost in thought, too many things and factors running through his head to keep track of.
“Why have you not told anyone else?” He whispered.
Evander was silent for so long that Alyx looked over to see if he was still awake. “Auelina remembers little and Cade almost nothing. Gael-”
Evander shook his head. He took the worst of Serlo’s beatings but Gael was not exempt, especially when it was clear that Gael would be smarter than both Serlo and Evander. It insulted Serlo somehow, that Gael was able to outdo Serlo in any arena, but especially when it made him look like a fool.
“Believe it or not, Gael was small as a child. And he was smart and that was an insult to our father. I would get the worst of the beatings but Gael had more than his fair share as well. Especially as he got older and Auelina and Cade were born,” Evander finally finished.
“You are worried how they will react,” Alyx surmised.
Evander nodded. “I worry about Gael the most. For years after his death, Gael had nightmares, much like the ones you used to have.”
“And you say that he is coming here?” Alyx asked.
Evander nodded.
“You’re sure?”
“I have no doubts. I have gotten away from him twice, there will not be a third. He must die for this to end.”
They were silent for a long time.
“You must tell them as soon as you are able to. As soon as you can bear it. I will be there with you, but to prepare themselves, they will need as much time as you can give them,” Alyx said.
Evander smiled, though his eyes were still lost. “Spoken like a true king.”
Alyx leaned over and kissed Evander, barely more than his lips sweeping over Evander’s. “I have learned from the best, my love.”
Evander wanted to believe that more than anything in the world. He wanted to know that Alyx was better for knowing him, that they were all better for having him back, however short that time might be.
Because Evander knew, deep inside the darkest part of him, that Serlo would not let this go. Once he had his claws sunk into Evander, he would not let go.