Chapter 3
"You aren't surprised," Thomas noted.
Evander shrugged. He was still kneeling. He didn't feel like standing was in his best interests.
"Why not?" Thomas asked and leaned forward, his forearms on his thighs, his hands clasped in front of him.
Evander remembered how often his father had slapped him across the face with those very hands. How, more than once, Thomas had cut his face open with calluses on his hands.
"I accept things as they are, I suppose," Evander said.
Thomas stared down at him.
Evander wished he could explain what else he meant but this was all he had. His father stood before him, whole and relatively healthy, so denying what was plainly before him was a waste of energy.
And Evander had so little energy to spare as it was.
"You seem well. Recently married and named King. Tell me, son, is it all you hoped to be?" Thomas asked and studied Evander.
Evander considered for a moment. The question seemed double edged. Did he speak of ruling or marriage? Of either one, he had barely a taste.
"Yes. They are."
"You speak as though you still rule. I just had word that your husband has been named king. No longer is Castle De Loughrey. It seems now that it is Castle Reimund and that your husband rules coldly and treats his prisoners quite cruelly. Unlike your rule, from what I know," Thomas said.
If he was seeking to hurt Evander, he would have to do better. When Evander left the kingdom to Alyx, he knew that was how he would rule. Evander softened him, eased some of the coldness that lived deep inside of him, and for someone to take that from him -
Well, Evander was not surprised.
That was really why Evander named him and not either Gael or Auelina as ruler. Or even his own mother once again. Now was not the time that the country needed a gentle hand. With Evander gone, enemies would be battering them from every side and cruelty was required.
"I know what kind of man I married," Evander murmured and looked over at the fire.
"Elewisa's boy, is it? That was a coincidence I did not plan on. Did he learn of his parents?" Thomas asked.
"He did. He sent them away," Evander lied. He did not know what Alyx did with his parents but he prayed that he did send them away. He prayed that Alyx sent everyone away.
"To the barbarians? I hear that you are very close with the Crown Prince of their lands."
"You hear much, father, especially for a dead man," Evander remarked.
He knew he would be struck before it happened so there was no surprise when he ended up on his back, his ear ringing and blood filling his mouth.
Evander blinked and looked up at the stone ceiling and then he was being dragged outside once more.
He was tossed into his tower once again and above him, he saw the stars looking down at him.
∞∞∞
Alyx did not answer the knocks at his door. Instead, he sat in a chair that was by the window of his room and looked out.
He didn't know why he was acting so foolishly. He was being a child, lashing out at people that were only trying to help him. He knew this and wanted nothing more than to stop but it seemed impossible. His temper was getting the best of him and the servants and the people around him, those that sought to help him, were on the receiving end of his wrath.
If he was not careful, he knew he would lose what little support he had.
Alyx contemplated the skies that were getting darker sooner and looked to the map that was on his table, where it had been since they returned. He stood and looked down at it, at the markings made by him and his men that showed where they had searched. He carefully traced the border lands where the enemies were pressing closer in.
He let his hand linger over Lyset, the last place he had seen Evander.
His door opened and Alyx did not look up.
Gael joined him at the table and with a few quick marks of his own, crossed off new places that the men searched and found no trace of Evander or Thomas.
"You did not have dinner," Gael said quietly.
Alyx chuckled and looked up at Gael. "You haven't had a meal in weeks, Gael. Excuse me if I think your dietary notes are amusing."
Gael's dark eyes, the ones that had once been so bright and green, did not leave Alyx's face. "Yes, but I am not the King."
"Nor am I, if we are being honest. Our King is out there somewhere, lost to some mad man that we cannot find, that we cannot even get a hint of. I am only the one that holds his place."
Alyx turned and went back to his chair. A servant came in and started a fire. When it was roaring and crackling, she left once more.
"One who holds his place still has more power than I at the moment," Gael said.
"Do you want the throne? Take it. It has been nothing but a curse on me," Alyx said and gestured to the crown that was locked safely away in its box on top of the mantle.
"I cannot. I will not argue Evander's last instructions. He must have had some inkling of what he was doing when he named you and not anyone else King," Gael said. He pulled a chair over and sat down.
"Did he? What do you suppose that is?" Alyx asked.
Gael did not reply. He only stared at Alyx.
"What is it? What do you need? You know that all you have to do is ask for it and it will be yours if I am given a moment's peace," Alyx snapped.
"A king's life is never his own," Gael reminded him quietly.
"Or his death, it seems," Alyx said. He pulled out one of his blades and turned it over and over in his hands. "What happens if I die, Gael?"
"I will take the throne," he muttered and sat back. Gael made no move to take the blade from Alyx's hands.
"Would you do a better job than I?"
"Of that I have no doubt."
"And if I left in the dead of night?"
"I wish you well getting past the men in the servant's entrance and your door."
"Thought of everything, have you?"
"Not how to explain to Evander why you killed yourself."
That stopped Alyx cold. It would have been more pleasant to be thrown from the window than to hear those words. He flipped the blade over and over his hands, the warmth and heft of it reminding him of the first time he held the blades that Evander gave him.
"I cannot fathom what you are going through. I cannot understand how or why you are acting as you are, but I can understand that you are in pain. But he wasn't taken from just you, Alyx. He was taken from me as well. And though I know you love him to a depth unmatched, I want you to know that Evander is my brother and my father. Everything I am, the man I am now, I owe to him. You are not the only one that misses him like words cannot describe. But you have to understand that he left you with a job to do and that job is what remains of him, here. I do not want the crown or the throne or any of it. I only want him back."
Gael left and Alyx finally got the peace that he wanted.
But he wasn't sure why it felt less like peace and more like isolation.
∞∞∞
The next day, Alyx woke to dark skies. The sun should have been peeking over the horizon but it was covered by the thick, angry storm clouds.
He was dressed and once again, Lord Ethan met him at his door.
"What do I have today?" Alyx asked as they headed towards the barracks.
Ethan looked hesitant as they marched towards Eamon's encampment. He was present when Alyx ordered him gone, both in the barracks and during the council meeting.
"Tobey has returned. He has reports ready for you at your leisure. Cade also has updates on the enemies that we seek. Valentine has also asked for you, but emphasized that it is not important, something that can be taken care of after more pressing matters," Ethan said.
"And your family? How do they fare here? And the others that we brought back. Do you have word?" Alyx asked. Someone opened the door for them and Alyx nodded at him. The man looked confused but bowed.
The man at the door wasn't the only one confused. Ethan seemed at a loss. Alyx looked over at him.
"My family is well, but as for the others, I do not know. I haven't heard," Ethan finally said. It sounded more like a question than a statement.
"See that you hear from them. I would like an update on how they are adjusting to life here. If there is anything our people can do to help, discuss it with me first before any promises are made."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
Another man, large as a house it seemed, opened the door for them. Alyx knew he had been here as long as Eamon, knew that this man was friendly with nearly everyone on the castle grounds.
Alyx paused and looked up at him. "What is your name?"
It was the third person Alyx had taken by surprise that day. "I am Wilhelm, Your Highness."
Alyx nodded and held out his hand. It took Wilhelm a moment to gather himself but he shook Alyx's hand eventually. "I apologize for my behavior these past months, Wilhelm. I hope that you and your men can forgive me. I want, and the kingdom needs, nothing more than good men on our side."
Again, Alyx left another person speechless.
Eamon was alone in his room and Alyx stood on the threshold.
"How old were you when your parents were taken from you?" Eamon asked. It was Alyx's turn to be surprised, he realized.
"I was seven summers past," Alyx finally said.
Eamon nodded. He looked down at the maps and turned over a small figure in his hands. "That's how old Edmond was when I first left him and my sisters to lead my first war. My father did not go, but that was not a surprise. I was sixteen summers."
Alyx did not reply.
"A great many things have happened between that first war march and now. Many more than I care to think about and much that I have made myself forget. I can tell you silly, soft words, but those are for silly, soft people, Your Highness. That is not who we are. We have been at war since we were children and nothing about us is silly or soft," Eamon said.
Alyx had a fleeting thought of how Evander had been silly with him, about how they had taken the time to be soft with each other. How Alyx dreamed of the days when he could be nothing but soft with Evander and their children and their family. He missed who he was with Evander.
"I will not presume to know what kind of pressure or pain you are under but I will tell you this; pain is a salve that pushes us forward. Use it. We cannot find Evander, not yet. Paige is gone and with her, she has taken some of the light from the castle. But she will return, because Josette swears it so and she will move all the heavens to make sure her word is true. Now is a harsh, cruel winter, but it will not last forever. And plans made during winter give fruition during the spring. Do you understand, Your Majesty?"
Alyx nodded.
"Then, come. Let us plan for the spring. Let us do what we can here and now and in the spring, when the cold has melted away, then we will make them pay more dearly than what they, or even we, could imagine."
"Yes," Alyx murmured and joined Eamon at the table.
"My men are bored. They wish to join others at the borders. This is no war for them, but it will give them a distraction," Eamon said and tapped a weak border.
"Let them have free reign. Let them do what they will," Alyx murmured.
Eamon looked up. "I fear you do not know what you request."
"I do. I have heard the fairy tales of your fighters and wolves and if they are even partially true, then let them have their fun. Let them show our enemies what true allies can do together," Alyx said.
Eamon looked up and behind Alyx where Wilhelm and Ethan stood. He nodded.
"Cade wishes to join them," Eamon said after a moment. He did not seem to like that he was sharing that information.
Alyx closed his eyes. The last thing he wanted was one of his family gone. They saw what happened last time. But they could not hold him here either. If he felt like he was being trapped here, Cade might become resentful and resentful people made mistakes. Resentful people made decisions that many would come to regret later.
And Cade wanted for such a long time to make a mark for his own, much like all of his siblings. Unlike all his siblings, his time was overshadowed by Evander and Alyx, then York and Thomas, and once more by his own kidnapping and now the tumult that was felt throughout the lands by Evander's loss. Alyx understood the need to be his own person and to deny Cade even this small thing would be a betrayal.
"Your thoughts?" Alyx asked.
"The despair is drowning him. Perhaps violence can get him out. I will send my best men with him on strict orders not to leave his side."
Alyx wanted to point out that his men had not left his and Evander's side and looked what happened anyway. Instead, he took a deep breath and stared down at the map.
Finally, Alyx nodded. "Fine. If you approve and think he can handle it, then send him. Is there anything else you would like to share with me?"
Alyx finally met Eamon's eyes and felt like he was being flayed open with his battle ax. It would have been preferable to the look that Eamon was giving him. It was like Eamon was seeing past the facade that Alyx was putting up and looking into the heart of who he really was. Alyx just didn't know if Eamon liked what he saw.
"Why the change of heart?" Eamon asked.
Alyx didn't have the words yet. The anger, the indecision, it still swirled too close to the surface. The only guiding principle he had was to ask himself how Evander would carry himself in this situation. If he would drown in the anger and despair as Alyx had. If he would act like a coward as Alyx had.
The answer was no, of course he wouldn't. Evander would burn the world down looking for Alyx but he would not remain paralyzed by his own anger and the injustice the world heaped on him. Evander would do something, hurt people, but not those that he loved.
Evander would try.
"Another time, Prince Eamon," Alyx said quietly.
Eamon bowed his head.
Alyx left the barracks.
"Is Auelina taking visitors?" Alyx asked.
Ethan stumbled over his own feet. "I will ask."
"Ask while we eat breakfast, Lord Ethan. I fear that you and I have a lot of people to visit over the next few days and we will need the fortitude."
"Yes, Your Highness."