Chapter 18
Alyx slept with Evander in his arms every night. Some nights he did not sleep at all. Sometimes he would just lay in the bed and listen to him breathe deeply and stare up at the ceiling.
Every dawn he met with Edmond.
Every morning he returned to his room and helped Evander get ready for the day. It was true that he was growing stronger by the day, but Alyx thought Lissandra was being generous when she gave him a three month timeline. Alyx wanted to stretch it to six months, possibly a year. Evander ate as much as he could, but still lacked the strength to even hold his own sword aloft for very long.
Alyx could feel the frustration building up in Evander day after day, but didn’t know what he could do to stem his anger. All Alyx decided he could do was wait for the day when Evander snapped and let it all go and prayed that it wouldn’t be on some poor servant or any of his siblings.
Luckily, when it finally happened, it was when Alyx was helping Evander dress for his day.
Evander refused to let servants help dress him. He was vain and he had good reason to be. Before he was taken, Evander had no problem with others seeing him without clothes. He was packed with solid muscle and his skin was sun kissed and always warm.
Now, most of his muscle was gone and his skin had gone pale and he was constantly cold.
When Alyx knelt to help him put his britches on that morning, Evander snapped, “Let me do it, for god’s sakes, Alyx!”
Alyx looked up at him but nodded and stepped back. He turned to the armoire and pulled out both of their cloaks and tossed them on their bed. Then he went to the small table where he kept his blades and the harnesses and slipped them on, his fingers adjusting them without a second thought.
“Alyx, I don’t want you to be angry,” Evander huffed.
“I’m not.”
It was true. Alyx was too overwhelmed with the day to day activities to be hurt by Evander’s words. He was up at dawn everyday with Edmond and didn’t go to sleep until long after the sun was down. He took on Evander’s responsibilities and readied the country for Serlo’s inevitable return and if Evander wanted some independence, Alyx would not stop him or fault him that.
Sometimes depending on another person could feel like its own kind of cage. Alyx knew that.
“I just- I mean, it’s okay for you to be mad at me sometimes, Alyx,” Evander said and looked up from where he finished lacing his britches closed.
Alyx frowned down at his harness. The right one was always so much harder than the left. “Why would I be mad at you, Evander?”
“You are doing everything around here, the job of two kings, and you never complain. About anything. Ever. About taking care of everything and especially about taking care of me,” Evander said and Alyx looked up to see tears of frustration building up in his eyes. “This was never part of what I wanted for you. I never wanted you to wait on another person as long as you lived. I don’t want to be like her.”
Alyx was breathless for a moment and was at such a loss, he could only shake his head. He knew that Evander was thinking of Elewisa and how Alyx was forced to do everything for her.
“This is not like that at all, Evander. Not at all. She enslaved me. She took everything from me, from my life. She took my parents from me. She forced me to serve her. I was only a child and knew only her and what she told me. You-”
“And what is it that you get on your knees every morning to help me dress, carry me to bed every night, bring my food to our room three times a day? If that is not enslavement, then please, explain to me what it is,” Evander hissed and the tears spilled over onto his cheeks.
“That is me serving my husband as I want to. Do you not think that if I didn’t want to, I would not send a servant with your food and books? That I would not send a servant in to dress you, no matter what you said? You see it as enslavement, something I am forced to do, but it’s not like that at all.”
“Then what is it?”
“It is service. I choose to do this because I love you more than I know what to do with. Because I never want to leave your side. I see it as a privilege to be here with you because no matter how you see yourself, I see you as the prince I met when I was covered in mud and you were dressed in the court’s finest. You will never be anything less than that.”
“I do not deserve that. I am little more than what she was.”
“You are so much more than Elewisa was. You are nothing like her.”
“But I am, Alyx. You do everything for me, just like she forced you to do. I don’t- if this isn’t what you want, if you want to be somewhere else, with someone-”
“There isn’t anyone I would rather be with. Ever. Please, don’t suggest such a thing,” Alyx whispered.
Evander looked away and picked up one of his boots. “When I was captive, Serlo told me that you were set to marry Eamon.”
Alyx couldn’t believe he completely forgot about that. “That was to draw you out. We were desperate. We didn’t even know if you were alive. But if I married another, your title was at risk and therefore your captor’s only bargaining chip.”
“But Josette and Paige-” Evander started.
“They never told me where they were going. They said they were going to Nightfell because Josette was called back home. I wasn’t aware that they were out there, in bars and taverns, sleeping on the cold ground, looking for you. They knew I would never let Paige out there to help you again. I couldn’t risk her as well,” Alyx said.
“So you were never going to- you didn’t want to marry him?” Evander asked.
“There is no one for me but you,” Alyx said.
Evander bowed his head and clenched his fists. He shook his head. “I hate this. I hate that he did this to me.”
Alyx did not move from his spot. He did not know what to say or do to make him feel better. Sometimes there weren’t words enough. Sometimes words just made it worse.
“If he comes back, I must challenge him for the throne. There is no other way. And it is the first time in a very long time that I fear that he will beat me easily,” Evander said.
“Whatever happens, I will be at your side,” Alyx said.
Evander nodded and squared his shoulders before he looked Alyx in the eye. “If I am killed-”
“Evander, don’t-”
“If I am killed, than you must go with either Eamon or Alik. It doesn’t matter which. Both will be at war. But if you remain here, Serlo will kill you first,” Evander said.
“You won’t be killed. I won’t allow it,” Alyx said.
“Spoken like a true king,” Evander replied and gave him a sad smile.
Alyx crossed the room quickly and kissed Evander and poured every ounce of feeling into it. “I learned from the best.”
One week later, Serlo arrived at their gates.