Chapter Thirteen
THAT EVENING, AS Jasper waited for his guests to assemble for their drive to the village, each of his internal organs seemed agitated in its own strange way.
His heart felt as if something had jarred it out of its reliable beat into a faster, more complex rhythm. His lungs performed their accustomed function, yet he found himself acutely conscious of every breath he drew, as if he could no longer take it for granted. His stomach tumbled about like a barrel rolling down a steep hill and he was not convinced his liver was behaving as it ought to.
His thoughts were every bit as unsettled, flitting from the past to the future and back again, scarcely aware of what was taking place in the present.
When his gaze fell on the pianoforte, he pictured Evangeline sitting at it, playing that love song. Though he had sung the words to Margaret Webster, who was as fair as the subject of the ballad, his heart had dwelled on the vivid, russet loveliness of Evangeline.
Unlike the shallow nobleman in the song, Jasper was drawn to far more than her beauty. Indeed, he had scarcely noticed how attractive she was until he’d recently awoken to her many other admirable qualities. Evangeline Fairfax was clever and accomplished, brimming with leadership ability that inspired others to follow her rather than compelling them. Yet she had a warm, nurturing side, as well as an unexpected sense of fun.
More than any woman he’d ever met, she shared his compassion for anyone being kept down or mistreated. With her, compassion was not a passive, sentimental emotion, but an urgent call to right wrongs and improve people’s lives. Was there a way he could make her see that she was a far better match for him than any of the others she’d tried to make?
While he pondered that question, Evangeline slipped into the parlor with an air of discretion that did not apologize for her presence nor seek to call attention to it. Jasper was not certain she could avoid the latter. To him, she eclipsed every other lady in the room without the slightest effort. How could he have been so blind for so long to the treasure he’d harbored under his roof?
During her first year, it must have been his love for his wife that had prevented him from noticing any other woman. After Susan’s death, grief and perhaps guilt had wrapped around him like a private fog, making it impossible to see a great many things. Lately, he had immersed himself so deeply in his work that he had no time to notice anything else except his children. Now he wished he’d noticed Evangeline before her friends had recruited her to run their charity school.
Jasper’s practical nature silenced his regrets. There was no use wasting time on what might have been. He must act at once to discover whether she might feel more for him than she was willing to admit.
“Miss Fairfax.” He approached her and bowed as if she were an honored guest... which to him she was. “Thank you for agreeing to accompany us this evening. I know I can rely on you to make the necessary introductions for our guests and put them at ease.”
She acknowledged his greeting with a confident smile. “I shall do my best, Mr. Chase. I expect the attendance of a number of new ladies will make quite an agreeable sensation at the assembly.”
Her comment made Jasper realize that all his guests were gathered. “In that case, we must not keep the local gentlemen waiting.”
He led the party to the waiting carriages and helped his mother-in-law into the first one with Mr. Webster, Mrs. Leveson and her daughter. Margaret Webster went in the next vehicle, followed by Norton Brookes, his sister and his fiancée.
When the second carriage pulled away, Jasper turned to Evangeline. “I hope you will not mind bringing up the rear with me in the gig, Miss Fairfax. I always prefer to drive myself when possible.”
For an instant she seemed taken aback, but soon mustered her composure enough to rally him. “Given your independent nature, I suppose that should not surprise me. I have no objection to going by gig on such a fine evening. But I feel bound to point out that you should have detained Miss Webster so the two of you could have some time alone on the drive.”
“Am I going to fail my courting lessons, then?” A deep chuckle rumbled through Jasper’s chest. It settled his agitated organs but seemed to inflate them like air balloons. His chest puffed out and his step took on a buoyant lightness. “Do not fret. I am certain I will have all the time alone I want with Margaret Webster.”
Before Evangeline had a chance to figure out what he meant, he helped her into the gig. Then he climbed up beside her and they drove away into the twilit countryside. Off to the west, the sun was setting in bands of brilliant color over the lake-studded Cumbrian Mountains. To the east, a pearly moon and tiny diamond stars were becoming visible in the black velvet sky over the Pennines.
Jasper wished the drive to the village was longer, but since it was not, he refused to waste precious time admiring the sunset. “You know, Miss Fairfax, now that you will soon be leaving Amberwood, I regret how little I know of you. All these years you have lived under my roof and raised my children, yet so much about you remains a mystery to me.”
She replied with a soft rustle of laughter. “I assure you, sir, there is nothing mysterious about me. My life has been quite ordinary. It has held its share of misfortune, but whose has not?”
“Misfortune? Is that what you would call being sent to that wretched charity school?” Jasper stole frequent glances at her as they drove, confident the horse could find its way to the village with little direction from him. “What about your life before that? How did you end up in such a place?”
Evangeline hesitated a moment, then inhaled a breath of calm evening air. “In the same way as most of my fellow pupils, I expect. My father was a clergyman of modest means, whose generosity exceeded his income. My mother died when I was eight years old and my father followed her within a year. They had no relatives able to offer me a home, so I was sent to the Pendergast School.”
“Were you close to your mother and father?” Jasper asked. In spite of his parents’ rows with each other, he knew they had loved him in their way and wanted the best for him. He was certain they would be proud of what he had done with his life. “What were they like?”
He was not certain Evangeline would reply. This was not the kind of lively conversation that usually preceded an evening of entertainment.
But perhaps she sensed his questions rose from something more than idle curiosity. “Father was a quiet man of deep faith and an inspiring preacher. My mother helped him a great deal with the practical work of the parish—visiting the sick and assisting the poor. From an early age, I accompanied her on her calls. She impressed upon me the importance of helping others.”
“She sounds like a remarkable woman,” said Jasper. “What a blessing it must have been for your father to have such a willing partner in his work. How he must have valued her assistance.”
Evangeline gave a brief nod. “He relied upon her far more than I knew at the time. I am not certain Father realized it himself, until she was... gone.”
Speaking that simple, pain-drenched word, she sounded bereft, as well she might. The loss of someone so capable and compassionate must have left an aching void in the lives of those closest to her. If he and the children lost Evangeline, Jasper sensed it would be as if the heart of Amberwood ceased to beat.
“How did your mother die?” he asked gently, though he could guess.
“Influenza. There was an epidemic of it that winter. Mother insisted I remain at home while she paid her visits so I would not catch it. Father tried to persuade her to stay at home, too, but Mother insisted she could not neglect her duties when she was needed most. She came and went at all hours until the worst was over. Then she fell ill.”
“I am sorry to hear it.” Jasper wished he could do more than offer flat verbal condolences, twenty years too late. His arms ached to pull Evangeline close until her head rested against his shoulder. “Did your father take ill then as well?”
“Not then.” A soft sigh escaped her. “But he never truly recovered from Mother’s death. It was as if he had relied on her so much that he could not figure how to get along without her. Some people claim it is impossible to die of a broken heart, but I have no doubt my father did.”
A thought dawned on Jasper just then. He had never been given to analyzing other people’s motives, or even his own. Perhaps that was why this unaccustomed insight had such an impact upon him that he could not keep it to himself.
“Was that when you decided you would never marry?” He turned to stare at her, hoping he had discovered the key to overcoming Evangeline’s resistance. “Was that why? Because you were afraid to care for someone so much that losing him would threaten your very existence?”
It made a kind of sense. Evangeline was not a person to do anything by halves. Any task she set herself, she committed her whole heart and soul, whether it was raising his children, leading her school friends or finding him a wife. If she allowed herself to care for him, Jasper sensed she would hold nothing back. Such all-consuming commitment could be a powerful force... perhaps even dangerous.
It did not occur to him that he should have kept his thoughts to himself until Evangeline stiffened and inhaled a sharp little gasp. When she twisted about to face him, her roses-and-cream complexion was pale as snow, with small livid spots flaming high on each cheek.
Her large brown eyes flashed with sparks of amber lightning that Jasper could make out even in the gathering darkness. “Sir, this conversation is becoming far too personal. I will thank you not to speculate on my motives. They are no business of yours.”
The magnitude of his mistake descended on Jasper like an avalanche. “Forgive me, Evangeline! I did not mean to offend you.”
Sensing his apology required more than words, he reached for her hand, but she snatched it away. “Let us speak no more of such things! What is the point of becoming closer acquainted when I will soon be leaving your employ. You would do better to deepen your acquaintance with Miss Webster.”
There could be no question she was vexed with him, but Jasper glimpsed something else behind her indignant glare. Sadness, perhaps, and... longing? Or did he only imagine a reflection of his own feelings that he wanted to believe she might share?
“It is not Miss Webster I wish to know better!” His vehement declaration violated all the lessons Evangeline had tried to teach him about proper courtship. But at that moment, with her so near and darkness falling around them, Jasper had no further patience for lessons and rules. “It is not Miss Webster I want with me now, nor to dance this evening away.”
Before he could reach his obvious conclusion, Evangeline swept an alarmed glance around them and cried, “Here we are at the assembly! It seemed like a very short drive.”
She scrambled out of the gig and dashed away to join the rest of the party. As he watched her flee with the swift grace of a hind eluding a hunter, Jasper cursed himself under his breath.
But now that he had committed himself this far, he was determined to continue until Evangeline yielded to his suit or persuaded him beyond any doubt that she could never care for him.
She was running away from a man she cared for in a way she had never thought possible—a man who might have been about to declare his feelings for her if only she’d stayed to listen. Did that prove he was right and she was a coward when it came to matters of the heart?
As Evangeline approached the other two carriages, she slowed her steps and forced her racing breath to a less frantic pace. Then she fixed on a smile and tried to put Jasper’s challenging questions from her mind.
Mr. Brookes was helping the ladies out of their carriage while Mr. Webster did the same for his fellow passengers. Evangeline found herself intensely aware of the tender glance that passed between the vicar and Verity when he escorted her into the hall. It filled her with a wistful ache that was not envy, only a longing to experience that deep, unspoken connection which was surely one of humanity’s greatest blessings.
This was no time to come over all dreamy and distracted! Evangeline chided herself as sternly as her teachers used to. She had promised to introduce Jasper’s guests to his neighbors and put them at ease.
“Come along, ladies.” She beckoned Miss Leveson, Miss Webster and Miss Brookes. “Let us not keep the gentlemen waiting.”
Her prediction that their arrival would create a sensation proved correct. In no time at all, the ladies were surrounded by admirers and had promised the first several dances. Even Evangeline received an invitation and took to the floor with a mixture of relief and trepidation. Having avoided dancing for a good many years, she had to exercise all her powers of concentration to keep from making a fool of herself.
Before long, however, she got caught up in the movement and energy of the other dancers. Her false smile blossomed into a genuine one. By the time she had finished a reel and a country dance, she had pushed her unsettling conversation with Jasper Chase to the back of her mind, where she hoped it would stay.
But when he approached her with a cup of punch, the things he’d said came flooding back again and she could not dismiss them out of hand.
Jasper must have detected signs of alarm in her expression, for he asked, “Have I spoiled any chance that you will speak to me again, let alone do me the honor of a dance?”
“Not entirely.” Evangeline reached for the cup of punch he held out to her. “This goes some way to redeem you.”
She drank it down with grateful relish.
Jasper grinned, an expression that was as difficult to resist as the punch, for it contained an equally refreshing mixture of sweetness and tang. “If you ever give anyone else lessons in courting, you should add one on the value of providing a beverage at the proper time. I congratulate myself on coming up with it all on my own.”
Evangeline tried to keep from smiling back at Jasper in case he took it as encouragement to continue in the vein he had begun earlier. She did not want that.
Or did she?
Duty and caution warned her that she should not. But could her caution be born of fear as Jasper had suggested? She had always prided herself on her stubborn refusal to be ruled by fear. Yet her employer’s sudden attention caused her at least as much alarm as elation. It had made her turn tail and run as she never had before the harshest teacher or nastiest bullies at school.
“Thoughtful actions are always a good way to win the regard of others.” Inwardly Evangeline winced at her prim, pedantic tone. Clearly she could use lessons in the subtle art of innocent flirtation.
Jasper chuckled as if he believed she meant to banter with him. He nodded toward the dance floor. “I am pleased to see Miss Webster’s company is in such demand.”
“No wonder.” Evangeline watched the lady move with spirited grace through the steps of a longways country dance. “She is beautiful, an excellent dancer and very agreeable company. What more could a partner wish for?”
“I suppose that depends on the partner.” Jasper lowered his voice. “She may be many men’s idea of an ideal lady. I was inclined to think so, not long ago. But now I know what I truly want. I am pleased you made Miss Webster enough introductions that she will not miss my name from her dance card. That leaves me free to concentrate my attentions... elsewhere.”
As his voice fell, he leaned closer to Evangeline, until his murmured words seemed to caress her ear.
The back of her neck prickled with gooseflesh.
“That is not why I introduced Miss Webster around!” she insisted.
“I know,” Jasper assured her. “But if you had, I would not be displeased. Now, if I have not spoiled my chance of securing a dance with you, I would like to request the honor. Will you prove your courage by obliging me?”
Prove her courage? Clearly Jasper knew the perfect means to persuade her to do what he wanted. It was no use pretending she wished to dance with him any less than he with her. But the manner of his request saved her pride a little.
“How can I resist such a challenge?” she asked with an intrepid tilt of her chin.
They left their empty punch cups on a nearby table. Then she took his hand and let him lead her to the dance floor, where a new set was beginning to form.
The warmth of his smile rewarded Evangeline for accepting his invitation, if she had needed any further boon than the pleasure of dancing with him. It kindled a sparkling glow that made her forget where her wayward feelings could lead if she was not careful. All that mattered was this moment and her joy in his company.
They joined two long lines of men and women facing each other across the floor. Evangeline glimpsed several of Jasper’s guests among the other dancers. A swift pang of shame gripped her when she encountered Mr. Webster’s reproachful gaze. But his daughter did not appear to notice that her suitor was paying considerable attention to another lady. Or was Miss Webster too proud to betray any sign of injured feelings?
The opening chords of the music banished those doubts from Evangeline’s mind. Concentrating on the sequence of steps and following the more experienced dancers around her left no room for thoughts of Miss Webster. Her heart was too full of pleasure in Jasper’s company to hold a single drop of guilt.
Some of the other dancers took the opportunity to converse as they bowed, crossed and turned, but Evangeline and Jasper did not. Perhaps he sensed that she could not tolerate any distraction or perhaps he also needed to concentrate on the steps he had not performed in a long while. But whenever their eyes met, he smiled at her and his gaze glowed with enjoyment. Whenever he clasped her hand to bow over it or perform a turn, he gave her fingers a subtle squeeze that suggested a special connection between them. As the dance rollicked to its conclusion, Evangeline felt as if her feet scarcely touched the floor.
When the dance concluded, Jasper applauded and gave a breathless chuckle. “I hope I did not disgrace myself or you too much with my performance.”
She shook her head. “No more than I. Are you sorry now that you insisted on taking a turn with me?”
He answered with a look of mock derision tempered with fondness. “If you believe that, you are a good deal less clever than I reckoned.”
“I must admit, you did not look sorry.” His unexpected attentiveness made her feel light-headed, as if he had spun her around too quickly during the dance. “Indeed, you gave every indication of enjoying yourself.”
“That’s better.” Jasper’s eyes focused on her with such intensity, he hardly seemed aware of anyone else in the room. “Your powers of observation do not appear to have suffered, after all. Of course, if you wish to prove that you enjoyed our dance as much as I did, you will consent to join me for another.”
“Must everything be a challenge with you?” she teased with a hint of asperity.
Jasper pulled a wry face. “Knowing my competitive nature, does that surprise you?”
Evangeline could not contain the laughter that bubbled out of her. It threatened to carry her away.
“I would say you and I are well matched in that regard. Come to think of it, we are well matched in a great many ways...” He looked as if he wanted to say more but managed to restrain himself. “Including on the dance floor. What do you say? Shall we try again and see if we can improve?”
The power of his personality and her own inclination urged Evangeline to agree at once. But her prudence and discretion were determined to mount some resistance. “I will dance with you again if you wish, but not right away. It would be certain to cause comment and make Mr. Webster even more vexed with me. You really should not neglect his daughter so shamefully, regardless of what... strange compulsion has come over you this evening.”
As the musicians tuned up for the next dance and new lines began to form, Jasper drew her away from the floor. “This strange compulsion, as you call it, is much more than that, Evangeline. And it did not come over me just this evening. It has been growing for some time without my being aware of it. I only wish I had recognized it sooner.”
His words made her heart bound, for they described her feelings toward him with perfect accuracy. How could she doubt his sincerity when she had experienced the same emotions as he claimed to?
Though Jasper spoke softly and the people around them appeared too intent on their own business to take any notice, Evangeline pressed her finger to her lips. “This is not the place to speak of such things.”
Jasper looked around as if becoming aware of the rest of the company for the first time. “You are right, of course. But I do mean to speak of them at my earliest opportunity. In the meantime, if you will not dance with me again so soon, at least let me fetch you another cup of punch?”
“I would be most obliged to you. I had forgotten what thirsty work dancing can be.”
Perhaps a cool draft of punch would dampen the dangerous sparks of ardor his attentions ignited in her. If they blazed out of control they could threaten the life’s work to which she had dedicated herself.
Jasper seemed to take her acceptance as further encouragement. “I shall return in a moment.”
He had gone no distance when Squire Brunskill appeared before Evangeline and requested the honor of the next dance. The squire was a jovial little widower who often spoke kindly to her and the children after church. She accepted his invitation with a degree of eagerness that might have appeared rather forward.
While they waited to take their turn on the dance floor, Jasper returned bearing the promised punch.
The squire mistakenly accepted both cups for Evangeline and himself. “Why, thank you, Mr. Chase. It is very good to see Miss Fairfax enjoying a little local society. She is quite devoted to your dear children, but surely the lady deserves a little life of her own.”
The poor man seemed oblivious to the baleful glare he received from Jasper. For a moment Evangeline feared her employer might seize his neighbor by the collar and give him a sound shaking.
Before he had a chance, the squire bolted his punch and shoved the empty cup back into Jasper’s extended hand. “Drink up, Miss Fairfax. The next set is about to form. If you will excuse us, Mr. Chase, I mean to take advantage of her unexpected presence this evening.”
Evangeline did as the squire bid her, torn between alarm, relief and a wild urge to laugh. Finding herself suddenly the object of masculine rivalry was simply too ridiculous!
Did the squire have any idea how ridiculous he looked fawning over a lady nearly half his age?
Until that evening, Jasper had liked the plainspoken North Countryman who took a benevolent role in the activities of the village. Squire Brunskill had accepted him as a member of the community in spite of his being city bred and having bettered his fortunes by marriage. With no family of his own, the squire clearly doted on Jasper’s children, losing no opportunity to praise their looks, cleverness and behavior.
But as Jasper watched his neighbor dance with Evangeline that evening and ply her with rustic gallantries, he found himself detesting the man. It was clear he had fancied the lady for some time but never found an opportunity to pursue her. The churchyard was hardly the proper place to conduct a courtship. Tonight, as the squire had proclaimed, he was eager to take advantage of her presence.
Worse than that, Evangeline seemed to be encouraging the squire in a deliberate effort to avoid Jasper! Could that be because she had no romantic interest in him and found his attentions distasteful? Or were her feelings quite the opposite—so strong that they alarmed her? After the silent communication that had passed between them during their dance, Jasper was inclined to believe the latter.
He must make Evangeline understand she had nothing to fear from him. But how could he persuade her of that if the squire insisted on monopolizing her company?
In a fever of anxiety, Jasper sought out Norton Brookes and drew him aside for a brief word. “Can I prevail upon you to claim the next dance with Miss Fairfax? A neighbor of mine is making a nuisance of himself.”
His friend glanced toward the dance floor. “I shall always be happy to assist Miss Fairfax, though she does not strike me as a helpless damsel in need of rescue.”
“Of course she’s not helpless!” Jasper bridled at the suggestion. Even as a young girl, in that repressive school, Evangeline had found ways to stand up for herself and her friends. “But I fear he may take advantage of her good nature to impose upon her.”
Still, his friend did not seem to appreciate the gravity of the situation. “If you are so concerned, why not have a word with the fellow? Or ask Miss Fairfax to dance yourself? That would be no hardship, surely?”
Of course it would not be a hardship! Jasper fought the urge to rage at Norton. His emotions felt raw, too easily inflamed. That was not a pleasant sensation, yet he felt more fully alive, somehow, than he had in a very long time. Perhaps this was part of what Evangeline feared about allowing herself to care too deeply for someone.
“If you will not oblige me, I suppose I shall have to ask her,” he muttered darkly.
The worst she could do was refuse. Jasper told himself that would be a minor setback, though his heart regarded it otherwise. Perhaps a breath of fresh air would help him put the matter in proper perspective.
He turned away from his friend and stalked to the door, making a determined effort to avert his eyes from the dance floor. If he happened to see Evangeline enjoying the squire’s company more than his, he feared he might do something he would regret.
A moment later, he emerged from the assembly hall into the cool air and relative quiet of the village square. A few coachmen had congregated within sight of the door, enjoying a little conversation and refreshment while they waited for their passengers. Jasper turned in the opposite direction and took several long slow breaths in an effort to clear his head.
Before he had managed that properly, Piers Webster appeared. Jasper doubted their meeting was a coincidence.
Mr. Webster wasted no time confirming his suspicion. “Have you and Margaret had a quarrel then?”
“Nothing of the kind,” Jasper insisted.
It was perfectly true. He liked Margaret Webster as well as ever. They’d never had the slightest disagreement, in contrast to his frequent clashes with Evangeline. He’d believed that was what he wanted from marriage—unbroken tranquility. Now he sensed it would only lull his heart back to sleep. While that might be a comfortable state, how much would he miss as a consequence?
Piers Webster gave a doubtful sniff. “Then why are you skulking out here while my daughter is inside dancing with every bumpkin beau in the parish?”
Jasper hesitated. He wanted to tell Margaret’s father that there could be no match between them because his heart was committed elsewhere. But this was not the proper time. Perhaps he should go back inside, dance with Miss Webster and pretend his intentions toward her had not changed. But he did not want to lead the lady on any more than he had already. Neither did he wish to embarrass her with his obvious neglect. Evangeline had already chided him for that.
“It is not easy to get near her.” Jasper offered the first excuse that came to mind, insisting to his conscience that it was true. “Your daughter is the belle of the ball and justly so. I do not wish to deprive Miss Webster of her triumph by keeping her all to myself.”
Mr. Webster lowered his voice to a menacing rumble. “I did not make my fortune by being thick, you know. You’ve had no trouble getting near that chit of a governess. There looks to be more between you than is proper for master and servant.”
“Miss Fairfax is not a servant!” Jasper could not bear to hear Evangeline referred to in that dismissive way. “There is nothing between us, nor has there ever been.”
Not in the sordid way Mr. Webster meant, certainly. The last thing Jasper wanted was for ugly gossip about them to stain Evangeline’s reputation.
“I am relieved to hear it.” The older man backed down in the face of Jasper’s emphatic denial. “Can you promise me that your intentions toward my daughter are honorable? You haven’t just been trifling with her, amusing yourself at her expense?”
“Of course not!” Jasper cried.
That sounded so deliberately callous. The truth was much more complicated. He’d sincerely believed he and Margaret Webster would make a harmonious match, even though he did not love her. “I have the greatest respect for your daughter. I would never wish to injure or embarrass her. I promise you that my intentions toward her have never been dishonorable.”
The sincerity of his tone seemed to persuade the older man.
“That’s what I wanted to hear!” Piers Webster seized Jasper’s right hand, pumping it up and down vigorously. “If that is how you feel, you had better quit shilly-shallying and propose to my daughter at your first opportunity.”
“P-propose?” The thought rocked Jasper, making it impossible for him to do more than repeat the word like a simpleton who did not understand its meaning.
“Aye. What else?” Piers Webster chortled. “Consider this my blessing to ask her. I’ll expect to see the pair of you engaged before we leave your charming house at the end of the week!”