Mari

“First time sailing, Mari?” Conrad inspects the lines of his boat, apparently named Seas the Day, as Duke wrangles the flapping sails Monday morning.

“It is.” I shield my eyes from the sun as Hudson steps on then turns to offer me his hand.

Audrina’s seated a few feet away, next to Alec, paging aimlessly through this month’s issue of Harper’s Bazaar. She’s wearing oversized, pitch-black sunglasses but I’m almost positive she’s rolling her eyes.

“Where are your boat shoes?” she asks, glancing up from a glossy editorial. “You can’t walk around in those sandals. You’re going to slip.”

“She’ll be fine,” Alec says. “Hud’ll take care of her.”

Hudson takes me by the elbow, and I glance around, noting the lack of seating aside from the captain’s seats toward the middle. Leading me around the massive jib, we take a seat across from Audrina and Alec and wait for Helena and Cybil to make their grand entrance.

“We’re going to be here all day if I don’t lend a hand. Excuse me, Mari. I’ll be back.” Hudson joins his father and Duke, leaving me alone with my baby’s father and his sister.

“You nervous at all?” Alec asks, squinting into the sun.

“No,” I say. “Should I be?”

“Yes,” Audrina huffs, biting a hidden smirk.

Alec nudges her. “No. Some people just get nervous on these. You’re out on the open water, nothing but a life jacket and some flimsy railings keeping you safe. If you’re not used to it, it might be scary.”

“I have a feeling Conrad’s done this hundreds of times,” I say, turning to watch him tying some fancy knot on the other end of the vessel.

“He has.” Alec nods. “He’s an old pro. He and my father used to race these things in their younger days. That’s how they met.”

The wind picks up, sending the sailcloth flapping and drowning out our conversation, so Alec moves closer, taking Hudson’s seat.

“Are you into sailing?” I ask.

His lips purse and he hesitates before shaking his head. “I get so fucking seasick on these things it’s unreal, but it’s just once a year, so I deal.”

“Well that’s gracious of you.”

He smirks, revealing a set of dimples, and I can’t help but to picture our child with the same ones.

“I try.” He shrugs before pulling the Ray-Bans from his shirt collar and slipping them on.

Glancing toward Hudson, I catch him watching us, his eyes flicking back and forth between what he’s doing and what we’re doing.

“How long do you think we’ll be out on the water?” I ask.

“All fucking day,” Audrina chimes in, licking her index finger before flipping a page in her magazine.

“Most of the day,” Alec says. “It’s not that bad, just work on your tan or something. It’ll be over before you know it.”

“I’m not trying to rush the experience, I was just curious,” I say. “I’m actually excited. This is all brand new to me.”

“The newness will wear off by noon,” he says. “Trust me.”

“Maybe.” I shrug. “Maybe not.”

“We’re here, we’re here,” Helena announces, waving as her Lilly Pulitzer swimsuit cover up flounces in the wind. Cybil is a step behind her, carrying a large canvas tote packed full of food and drinks.

Hudson peers over at us again, unsmiling, and as soon as he’s finished checking his line, he returns to my side, slipping his hand in mine. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he’s jealous that I’m talking to Alec.

Sliding his phone from his pocket, Alec begins tapping the screen.

“No phones,” Audrina says. “We’re on vacation.”

Alec huffs, ignoring her.

“What’s more important than spending time with your sister and your best friend and his lovely fiancée?” She overemphasizes lovely, and I shoot her a look as my blood begins to heat. She’s lucky we’re in front of all these people and I’m too polite to make a scene.

“I’m checking on my flight,” Alec says, chin tucked as he scrolls the screen.

“Where are you headed?” I ask.

“Hong Kong,” he says. “I leave in two days.”

“You’re not staying the whole month like everyone else?” My heart races, and I’m speaking too fast. This isn’t good. I thought I’d have more time with him … more time before I had to tell him.

“No, no.” He chuckles. “I don’t do that. I work for a living, unlike … five-eighths of the people on this boat.”

“Oh.” My throat constricts, and I make a mental list of all the things I need to do and say before he leaves. On top of that, I have no idea when—or if—I’m going to be alone with him at any point in the coming days. “How long will you be in Hong Kong?”

He dims his screen before slipping the phone back in his pocket.

“Five, maybe six months?” he asks. “It all depends. Could be shorter, could be longer. I’m planning for six though.”

I’m due in seven.

“So do you just stay there the whole time and work, or do you ever get to come home?” I ask.

“Mari, what’s with all the questions?” Hudson squeezes my hand, chuckling.

“Just making conversation,” I say, clearing my throat. My cheeks warm as I realize how bizarre my line of questioning must have seemed to Hudson, but my mind was spinning so fast with panic I didn’t have time to think about how this would look.

“Hud, it’s fine,” Alec says. “I can come home from time to time, yes. But I prefer not to. I like to immerse myself in the culture and work as much as possible until the job’s done. Sooner I’m done, sooner I can move on to the next job.”

“My brother, the hustler.” Audrina’s words are coated in sarcasm. She folds her magazine and tosses it aside. “Mom and Dad’s pride and joy.”

Alec’s sandy hair blows in the breeze as the boat begins to move, and he hooks his arms around his tan legs. He’s attractive. Well-educated—I assume. Hardworking. And adventurous. It’s almost as if I hit the genetic lottery of sperm donors.

“Alec, I need you to ease the sheets,” Duke calls into the wind, and Alec obliges.

Hudson slips his arm around me as the boat leans. I wish I could enjoy the sweet simplicity of the wind at the sails and the smell of the ocean breeze, but all I can think about is how I’m going to get Alec alone between now and Wednesday.

All I need is a minute of his time.

And then I need to hope and pray he doesn’t run and tell Hudson before I get the chance.

Fuck.