Hudson

“What’s this I hear about Mari leaving?” Cybil breaks the awkward silence at the lunch table. “That can’t be true. She’s been having a ball since she got here.”

No one answers.

The clink of glassware and silver fills the silence.

I stare at the steaming bowl of seafood chowder before me, unable to touch it, my fist clenched hard around my spoon.

“Is she okay?” Cybil won’t drop it, but I’m not surprised. She’s nosier than she is compassionate. “Did she have a family emergency?”

Audrina sighs. “Hudson found out that Alec knocked Mari up.”

A hush falls over the table.

Alec chokes on his ice water.

“Audrina,” Cybil scolds her with her name. “It’s not nice to make things up.”

“It’s the truth.” Audrina smirks. “I knew she was hiding something. Nobody would listen to me. You were all Maribel this and Maribel that, like she was the second coming of Christ.”

“Audrina.” Duke coughs her name. “That’s enough.”

“God, I’m so sick of you people and your delusions.” Her voice escalates. “And I’m tired of no one ever listening to me.”

“Hudson, is this true?” My mother bats her eyes at me, and the entire table stares in my direction.

I drop my spoon, pushing my chair away from the table and tossing my unused napkin over my untouched soup before bolting for the door.

I need air.

I need to get away from these people.

Slamming the sliding door behind me, I move to the corner of the deck farthest away from the dining room. Resting my hands on the railing, I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

Mari left an hour ago, and I feel her absence in every part of me. More than I expected to. More than I thought I would.

The sound of the door sliding open and shut pulls me out of my moment.

“When are you going to realize I’m the only woman that’s ever going to be right for you?” Audrina’s voice is nails on a chalkboard. I refuse to look at her. “We were young back then, Hudson. We were just kids. I made a mistake. A horrible, selfish mistake. But I never stopped loving you. And you never stopped loving me.”

“Wrong,” I say, teeth gritting. “I stopped loving you the day I walked in on you fucking my best friend in our bed.”

“I’ve told you a million times, I wish I could go back and change that, but I can’t.” She whines like a demanding little toddler when she speaks, causing my grip to squeeze the railing harder.

“Go away, Audrina.”

“Not until you look at me.”

I shake my head once, jaw clenched as I watch the waves. Normally I find peace in them, but today they’re particularly tumultuous.

“Because of you,” I say, lock-jawed. “I haven’t been able to trust anyone else. I haven’t been able to love anyone else. I’ve spent almost an entire decade cheating myself out of the kind of happiness I deserved.” Finally, I face her. “Now get out of my fucking face, you avaricious little whore.”

Audrina freezes, jaw locked open.

“Go.” My voice booms, startling her into finally getting the fuck out of my face just as Alec comes outside. She pushes past him, running away in tears.

I don’t give a fuck.

“Hey, man.” Alec jams his hands into his pockets. “I just wanted to say, I had no idea. And I hope you guys didn’t break up because of me.”

I don’t say anything. It isn’t his fault. And I’m not upset with him.

I’m upset with the circumstances.

And I’m upset that I was so close to tasting love and the kind of emancipation my soul had been craving all these years … only to watch it disintegrate overnight.

“Don’t worry about us,” I say, placing my hand on his shoulder. “Our issues have nothing to do with you.”

At least not in a way he’d understand …

“You going to do the right thing? You going to take care of them?” I ask. Regardless of my frustration with the fact that she completely withheld the pregnancy from me, I do want to see to it that she’ll be properly cared for.

Alec chuckles. “I don’t want to be a father, are you kidding me?”

“You don’t have a choice. She’s having your child.”

He leans closer, like he’s going to tell me a secret. “Hud, I tried telling her to, you know, get rid of it earlier, and she flipped out on me. So then I just told her what she wanted to hear so she’d calm down.”

My skin heats. I’m on fire. “You have to help her, Alec. She has nothing.”

“She’ll figure it out. Can’t she get on government aid or something?”

“So she’s not your problem? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Hud, calm down.” He titters. “She’ll be fine.”

“And you know that … how?”

“She’s a smart girl. She’ll land on her feet. Girls like her always do.” Alec slicks his hand through his hair, his eyes darting anywhere but in my direction. I’m making him nervous, and rightfully so. I’ve known this guy my entire life, and I’ve never known him to maintain a single responsibility that wasn’t self-serving.

His attitude is disappointing but expected.

“If you’re not going to help her, tell her now,” I say. “Tell her before she gets to the end of her pregnancy and realizes you’re not going to be there and you never were planning to in the first place.”

He’s quiet, and I hope to God he’s letting my thoughts sink in, but it’s hard telling with him.

“Do the right thing, Alec.” I punch his shoulder before storming away. “You only get one chance to make it right. After that, you’re fucked.”

I need to get the hell out of Montauk and back to the city, to my office, to the routine that’s helped me through the last decade of my existence.

I’m done here.